Surviving Quarantine with Your Family

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With Covid cases exponentially increasing, surviving quarantine with your family might be on your horizon. Whether you contract Covid or have exposure, classrooms and daycares are closing down all over the country. There is a very good chance that at some point in the next few weeks, your children will be home from school. Kids have lots of energy if they are feeling well, and need lots of attention if they are sick. So either way, you need a plan. Get outside as much as possible. Schedules a few breaks during your day where you know you can take a few minutes to yourself. Use all the resources available to you like online school and calls with family. And finally, if you have restrictions on screen time, lift them. It’s survival mode at this point! Hopefully, you can get through your quarantine safely, healthily, and sanely.

Surviving Quarantine with Your Family: Fighting Cabin Fever

Get Outside

Surviving quarantine with your family is easier if you plan to be outside as much as possible. The fresh air will improve everybody’s mood, and children can burn a lot of energy running around outside. Rather than go to public places like parks, just plan to take walks around your neighborhood. Just make sure to keep your distance away from others. Try a scavenger hunt to make things more exciting on your walks. And if it’s rainy, put on some boots and splash in puddles.

Schedule Breaks

Another important thing to do when surviving quarantine with your family is to schedule breaks. If you are working full time while also watching kids, try to make a plan during the day for when the kids can watch tv. That way you know that at a certain time, you can concentrate wholly on work. Or perhaps you and your partner could switch off some to give each other some time off.

Use All Your Resources

Surviving quarantine with your family is all about using all available resources. There are lots of online options for helping to keep your children entertained that are not quite as mindless as cartoons. For example, you can tour historical places, museums, and zoos virtually. If everybody feels well you can also try a kid-friendly yoga video on YouTube. Or call in some reinforcements and ask a family member to FaceTime with your children and send them on missions to find scavenger hunt items throughout the house. There are even online daycare programs and storytimes that you can tune into for younger kids.

Give In to Screen Time

Finally, if you are surviving quarantine with your family, it’s truly what it sounds like: survival. Now is not the time to stick to a strict restriction of screen time. You need breaks as well, so putting on a movie or TV show is helpful if you need a few minutes to yourself. While it’s not healthy to allow tons of screen time every day of their lives, a few days of extra TV is not going to do any lasting damage to your children. And it might save your sanity!

Surviving quarantine with your family is something that you might need to prepare yourself for in the coming weeks. Whether you catch Covid or are just quarantining for a possible exposure you need a plan. Having kids out of school can easily get overwhelming, and just having the whole family at home all the time can put a strain on your marriage. Get outside for walks as much as you can. Schedule TV time or switch off with your partner to get some breaks throughout the day when you can. Use all of your resources and ask family members to help you virtually entertain your children. And finally, it’s ok to give into screen time for a little while because you need some breaks for your mental health. Hopefully, you won’t have to quarantine at all, but if you do, you’ll be prepared.

New Year, New You: Moving on After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Moving on after a divorce can be a long and difficult process. And it can look different for everybody. But if you’ve recently gone through a divorce, the new year is a great time to set goals for yourself and what you want in your life. It’s a time to begin the healing process and start making yourself a priority again. Try to find a new hobby that you can focus on, or learn something new. In addition, starting new hobbies is a great way to meet new people. Take plenty of time to heal from the pain of the divorce process, and reach out for help if you need it. Finally, if you feel ready, get back into the dating pool and see if you can find somebody that you’d like to connect with. You never know when you’ll meet somebody special!

New Year, New You: Moving on After a Divorce in a Healthy Way

Find a New Hobby

One important aspect of moving on after a divorce is to keep yourself busy. It will distract you from all of the stress and bitter feelings of the divorce process. One great way to do this is to pick up a new hobby or interest. There are plenty of sports or exercises you can try like yoga, jogging, or hiking. You can also take up an artistic hobby like painting. Find something that brings you joy. In addition, you’ll probably feel a sense of pride as you excel in your new hobby.

Meet Some New People

Another great way of moving on after a divorce is to meet new people. This doesn’t have to be potential love interests. It could just be getting out there and making new friends. There are plenty of local meetup groups for divorcees, as well as group exercise classes you can try. You might not be looking to find a new partner, but you never know who you’ll meet when you put yourself out there.

Take Time to Heal

Moving on after a divorce can take a long time. But it’s important to go at your own pace and take plenty of time to heal. You might have had a very painful breakup or a stressful divorce proceeding. Take time to prioritize your mental health. If you feel like you need some professional help or just want a little extra support, reach out to a therapist. They can help you address your feelings, move on, and deal with stress.

Get Back to Dating

Finally, moving on after a divorce is easiest when you have a new love interest to focus on. When you feel like you are ready to be open and trusting with another person, try dipping your toes into the dating pool again. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to find your next soul mate. Instead, take time to enjoy dating. Take things slowly with a new partner and try to have fun with it. Moving on after a divorce can take weeks, months, or years. Every person is different and every divorce is different. Everyone has to move at their own pace. However, it’s easy to get bogged down by the stress and pain of a breakup. Make sure that you are still taking time to try new hobbies to take your mind off of things. In addition, try to make new friends and put yourself out there in social situations. Don’t forget to make time to prioritize your mental health, though, and reach out for professional support if you need some extra help. And finally, when you feel ready, try dating again. Just remember to enjoy yourself and have fun with it. Divorce is painful and stressful, but it also opens the door for a new chapter in your life.

Realistic Expectations in Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Expectations can really make or break a marriage. If your expectations are too high, or impossible to live up to, then it can become difficult to adjust to your new way of life. Therefore, it’s important to set up realistic expectations of divorce. Doing so will help you and your partner avoid some constant arguments and issues…

Realistic Expectations in Marriage: Commitment and Struggle

Commitment

Commitment to your marriage is one of the most standard realistic expectations. A marriage is basically like an agreement between you and your partner. Based on your love for each other, you agree to be together and trust you’ll both hold up that end of the agreement. If that commitment is violated, then so is the trust and love that founded the marriage.

Still, it’s important to help reaffirm that trust between the both of you. There’s a couple ways you can do this. Maybe you give your partner verbal affection that makes them confident in your commitment. Or, you do special things with them to show you care. Doing things like these can help show you’re fulfilling that expectation.

Open communication

Healthy communication is also another of the realistic expectations you should have. Couples should be able to talk to each other openly and honestly. A marriage where partners lie to each other and are scared to be honest isn’t a healthy one. Eventually, this will cause things to get worse over time.

Rather, you both should be able to have good, honest discussions. That’s especially true for when you disagree. Instead of getting right into an argument, listen to and respect what each of you have to say. That way, you can work together on a solution that works.

Spending time with each other

Being with one another seems like a pretty straightforward matter. However, this is one of the realistic expectations couples struggle with. It’s always important to spend some quality time with your partner. Still, you also have to accept there will be times you aren’t together either.

Both of you have other important people in your lives, like family and friends. Therefore, it makes sense you’d like to also spend time with them. Both you and your partner should respect that, and even encourage it. As long as you spend plenty of time together too, then it shouldn’t be an issue.

Marriage Misconceptions: Healthy Relationships

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You can trace many common divorce reasons back to common marriage misconceptions. Everyone enters a marriage with an idea of how it should be. However, these myths can end up putting you on a fast-track towards divorce…

Marriage Misconceptions: Keeping it Healthy

“Good marriages don’t need work”

One of the common marriage misconceptions is thinking marriages don’t require work. We all like to imagine that things will just work between you and your spouse. After all, everyone wants that “happy-ever-after” relationship. The thing is, though, is that those don’t happen overnight.

The fact is that your marriage is going to need some work. You and your partner might get along fine now. But, there’ll still be things you have to deal with and learn from together. Investing that time in now will help ensure things last into the future.

“My partner should know how I feel”

Another of the common marriage misconceptions are partners thinking the other should know how they feel at all times. Instead of telling their partner how they feel, they think their partner shouldn’t need to be told. As a result, this tends to lead to a whole host of communication issues and arguments.

Communication is crucial for any good relationship. Remember: you and your partner aren’t mind readers. You’re not going to know how the other feels or thinks all the time. That’s why it’s important to let each other know if something is wrong, so you can work together on a solution.

“We should never argue”

Arguments are another source of common marriage misconceptions. A lot of people will think that they should never have any kind of arguments in their marriage. If they do argue, then it means that their marriage isn’t going to last and there’s some kind of issue between the both of them.

The thing is, arguments are going to happen. That’s a natural part of any relationship. However, what matters is how often these arguments are, and what they’re about. If they happen all the time, and over trivial things, then it could be an issue. If not, then it’s something you can settle with each other in a healthy way.

Credit Cards During Divorce: Their Impact

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how expensive divorce is, you don’t want to add more costs than you need to. That means you should be careful with your credit cards during divorce. While they can be useful, you also need to make sure they don’t hurt your finances in the process…

Credit Cards During Divorce

Watch your accounts

Before using any credit cards during divorce, you should first make sure the accounts are secure. Many couples like to open up joint accounts, or joint cards. While that might’ve been fine before, it could now be an issue. After all, you don’t want to be accountable for debt that isn’t yours.

If you have a joint account, then you can try to see if you can make it into a sole account. Still, it may just be safer to have the account closed, and then open up a new one. You don’t want a vindictive ex trying to access a joint account and try to hurt you financially.

Use them sparingly

Another good idea is the use credit cards during divorce in a sparring manner. It can be tempting to use them due to the more-flexible payment schedule. However, you might be setting yourself for a big debt issue. Instead, try to limit when you use them.

A good idea is to use them for things you’d have to buy anyways. For example, that may include things like gas or groceries. That way, not only do you keep your payments low, but you can also work on boosting your credit score at the same time.

Make payments on time

Be sure you make your payments on time when using credit cards during divorce. Late payments will mean late fees, and an increase on your interest rate. Eventually, if you fall behind on a lot of payments, your credit score is going to take a serious hit.

It might be helpful to set up automated payments for your credit card bills. Many banks will let you set it up so your payments can be made every month on time. That way, you’ll have one less thing to worry about.

New Year Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You might not feel all that excited entering a new year after a divorce. However, a new year post-divorce doesn’t have to be something which gets you down. Rather, there are some things you can do to make this year something to look forward too…

New Year Post-Divorce: Making Big Changes

Reflect on your ex

Most people would hope to leave behind their ex in a new year post-divorce. Still, it would be good to take some time and reflect on them. It’s somewhat common for people to have an idealized version of their ex. Even after the divorce, they might start to think about if things were “really that bad”.

That’s why it helps to reflect on them now. Really think about how they acted and what caused you to want to leave. Even those little things which got under your skin help you realize who they really were. Once you do this, you can be glad you won’t have to deal with it again.

Set new goals

A new year post-divorce also comes with new freedoms. At this point, you get to call the shots again for your life. You won’t have to worry about someone telling you what you can or can’t do. Rather, you can finally start doing things you want to do again.

This is a perfect time to set some new goals to achieve. For instance, maybe you set a goal to go back to school and get more education for a better job. Or, maybe you want to try and improve your skills in a hobby you like. Goals like these will be a great source of motivation for you in the new year.

Reinvent yourself

Starting a new year post-divorce can be great for reinventing yourself. Again, that new freedom allows for you to become the person you want to be. That means you can change things up. Maybe you get a new wardrobe, a new haircut, or even go for tattoos and piercings! It’s really up to you.

By taking these steps, you can also begin to really appreciate yourself again. It can be tough to feel all that great after a divorce. However, if you really begin to take steps to improve yourself, you’ll soon find you have a lot to be excited about.

Post-Divorce Depression: Managing Big Changes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Going through a divorce can be very emotionally draining. As a result, post-divorce depression is very common. However, it doesn’t have to control you. In fact, there are ways you can work on overcoming those negative feelings…

Post-Divorce Depression: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Meet with a therapist

One good way to start tackling post-divorce depression is by first meeting with a therapist. A therapist is a great resource for people with things like depression. These professionals specifically focus on helping you recognize why you feel the way you do, and how to start feeling better.

There’s many ways a therapist may try to help you. For example, they might try to help change your behaviors, and in turn, change the way you think. Or, they might focus in on what’s causing you to feel as you do, and come up with a plan of action. It might take some time, but it’s well worth it to find a therapist that fits your needs.

Spend time with loved ones

Dealing with post-divorce depression tends to make people act very isolated. They don’t want to do much of anything anymore, and would rather spend time alone in their homes. Of course, this will just make that depression get even worse. Therefore, it’s important to spend some time with those you love.

Being with friends and family can help show you that you aren’t as alone as you feel. Rather, you still have people who care for you, and will help you out. Spending time with them can help change your perspective, and help you start to think more optimistically.

Find a new hobby

Your post-divorce depression can also make it hard to find motivation to do things you once loved. When this happens, don’t just accept it. Instead, try to push yourself to go out there and get yourself doing things again. In fact, you might even want to take this time to explore some new hobbies.

Finding a new hobby is a great way to regain that motivation. Plus, this hobby can be pretty much anything you want it to be. You might even end up making some potential new friends in the process!

Co-Parenting Curriculum: Back to School Woes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you’ve recently gone through a divorce, and this is your first school year as a divorced parent— it can be hard to navigate. From homework, pick-up, drop-off, extracurriculars, parent nights, and beyond— how do you manage it all as a newly divorced parent? This is a challenging time of year in many ways. However, if you can conquer co-parenting curriculum, you’ll have one less thing to worry about.

Co-Parenting Curriculum: Tips for a Successful School Year

First things first, we suggest setting a parenting plan early on in the divorce. By setting a parenting plan, you can account for holidays, back to school, birthdays, and any other events you’ll run into over the year. Of course, some flexibility is required when something comes up. But, it’s a good basis to put together, and keep your mind off of. As your kids get back to school, and you start navigating this as two separate parents, rather than a unity— you’ll have to communicate well.

Communication

Your child and their education is a number one priority. However, it’s not uncommon that grades will slip after a divorce. So, make helping your child prosper part of the co-parenting curriculum. Put those personal issues aside and focus on the common goal— your child. Have a safe space for you two to discuss important things, such as an email chain, or a planner that goes back and forth with your child. 

Parent-teacher conferences

One issue you might run into are parent-teacher conferences. These conferences typically require both parents to be there, especially when you’re running separate households. As newly divorced parents, this can be a difficult thing to do. However the most important part of your co-parenting curriculum, is being on the same page with your co-parent. Therefore, it’s important that you both attend together. Of course, if you have a strong co-parenting relationship with your former spouse, and trust them to tell you whatever you need to know— so be it.

Create a common homework schedule

Lastly, when it comes to your co-parenting curriculum, make a common schedule your priority in terms of school work and responsibility. You don’t want to have to deal with the back and forth of: ‘Mom/Dad said I can watch TV first…’ If you want to handle homework without stress or argument, keep a uniformed system. The key to successful schooling post-divorce, is to keep a uniformed system, communicate, and stay involved as a unit.

Custody Types: Differences & What To Expect

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Child custody is the first thing many think about after the initial thought of divorce. Where will the kids spend the majority of their time? All aspects of divorce can seem overwhelming. The thought of spending birthdays without your children can be scary, but it doesn’t have to be. Let’s discuss the custody types that are common, so you know which type is best for you and your soon to be ex.

Custody Types: The Differences Between Them

Legal Custody

Different from the rest of the custody types, legal custody allows a parent to make decisions regarding the upbringing of the child. In most states, joint legal custody is granted. Legal custody allows the parent to make decisions about schooling, religious practices, and medical care. If you exclude your ex from any decision making and you have joint custody, it can result in court visits where a judge will enforce the agreement.

Physical Custody

Physical custody grants the right for a child to live with one parent or the other. Joint physical custody happens sometimes, too. Joint physical custody is one of the popular custody types for parents who live close enough to each other. Before granting joint physical custody, a judge will ensure it will not be stressful for the children to go between homes.

Sole Custody

Once widely popular, sole custody is losing its luster in courts around the United States. Sole custody grants either sole physical or sole legal custody to one parent. This happens in the cases of a parent being considered unfit to parent, due to a variety of reasons. As far as custody types go, sole custody is probably the harshest. However, if you have sole custody, your ex may still have visitation rights.

Joint Custody

Also known as shared custody, joint custody allows both parents to share decision-making responsibilities. In addition, both parents are equally responsible for the physical and financial aspects of raising children. In these cases, parents usually work out a schedule that works best for them and for the children. Sometimes, custody types like joint physical custody include alternating periods of time (weeks, months, years, etc.) or spending weekdays with one parent and spending holidays and weekends with the other.

As these are the most common custody types, there may be cases where other agreements or arrangements are made. Also, you should remember that there can be a restriction on custody depending on the fit of the parent. Every case is different, and if you need help or clarification regarding your custody agreement, consult your attorney. We’re always here to help.

Co-Parenting Communication: Avoid Breakdowns

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

“Communication is key.” You’ve probably heard this piece of advice as you begin to transition into your role as a co-parent. However, communication is almost always easier said than done. Furthermore, it can be hard to keep that communication with your ex open, especially if you reached a bitter end. Due to these reasons, amongst others, we’ve put together some strategies to keep co-parenting communication from breaking down.

Co-Parenting Communication: Healthy Arrangements 

Don’t Play The Blame Game

“He said/she said” or “He/she started it” arguments are a quick way to see your communication with your ex turn south. If your ex says something mean or nasty to you, it might be tempting to answer with something rude too. They started it, right? But what is more important: being “right” or not being miserable?

Instead of engaging, just ignore those comments that are trying to get under your skin. Keeping your actions and communication positive will let you set the tone of your conversations. It can also make your ex reconsider how they may have been acting, and lead to them making efforts to be positive when you communicate as co-parents.

Learn to Compromise

You and your ex might not agree on everything when it comes to co-parenting. Maybe you think your child should do their homework right when they get home, and maybe your ex thinks they should do it after dinner. Both of you have your reasons for why you think your way is the “best”. A great way to avoid this disagreement becoming an argument over who’s right, is to learn to compromise.

There is no “right” way to parent; everyone has different approaches. You can have your child do their homework right after school when they’re with you, and your ex can have them do it right after dinner at their place. Either way, the homework is getting done, and you avoid a potential argument. For bigger matters, like say planning for the holidays, keep it calm and try to put things in writing. That gives you time to gather your thoughts before your respond. If you lay everything out logically, then you and your ex can pick the solution that is best for everyone.

Be Direct

The best way to avoid misunderstandings between you and your ex is to be direct. Having other people rely messages can turn co-parenting communication into an out-of-hand game of telephone. It’s also important to avoid using your child as a go-between. They’re adjusting to their new situation just like you. Asking them to deliver messages can make them feel trapped and as if they have to “pick a side” between you and your ex. Instead, use phone calls and texts when face-to-face communication isn’t an option.