Navigated a divorce is difficult enough. When you add children to the situation, every decision gets more complicated. One thing you might be stressing over is whether or not to seek sole custody. In some situations, sole custody is necessary for various reasons. However, in some situations, the children and parents might be better off with a joint-custody situation. Just make sure you know what is driving the decision. Is it for retaliation against your ex? Or is it for the benefit of the children? If you find that you are acting out of bitterness, try to find another outlet for your anger. Every decision you make needs to be in the best interest of your kids.
Is Sole Custody Necessary: Navigating Bitterness and Retaliation
When is Sole Custody Necessary?
Sole custody is necessary for several situations. Sole legal custody means that only one parent is responsible for making decisions regarding the children. If your partner is unfit to do this, you might need to seek sole custody. For example, this could include mental health problems, or substance abuse issues. If there has been abandonment, then you’ll want to seek custody. And of course, if there are any concerns about abuse for you or your children. Another consideration is if your ex is currently in prison or jail.
And finally, if your ex is being relocated to another state or country, it might be that sole custody is necessary. Custody involves making important decisions for your kids. If it will be difficult for somebody to get in touch with your ex, then you might want to make sure it’s just you making the decisions. If they are relocating but will be easy to get in touch with and plan to visit often, then sole custody might not be required.
What is Your Motivation?
If you are considering whether or not sole custody is necessary, ask yourself a few questions. What is the reason why I feel like this is needed? Am I doing this just to get back at my ex? Is this overall, the best thing for my children? Divorce can leave you very bitter. Divorces bring out emotions between spouses that they never realized they would feel. Hurtful things are said, and insults are thrown. If you find that you want to seek sole custody mostly because it will hurt your partner, then you need to re-evaluate. If your ex-spouse is not an unfit parent, then really take a look at your motivations. Depriving children of the chance to have one of their parents involved in their life might not be best for them.
Finding an Outlet
If you debate whether sole custody is necessary and find that perhaps you are acting out of bitterness, try to find other ways to address your feelings. You could try an outlet for your frustration like journaling or a new hobby. Or you could also really sit down with your ex and discuss your feelings. You might even enlist the help of a therapist. If your ex is an able and willing caregiver for your children, then try not to let your bitterness decide your custody
When you are debating whether or not sole custody is necessary, try to figure out your motivation. If you’re concerned at all for the wellbeing of your kids while in your ex’s care, then consider sole custody. And if they are unfit for any reason, it might be necessary. If you are only seeking it to hurt your ex-partner, it might not be the healthiest thing for your kids. Try to find other ways to vent your frustrations. Always try to remember that your children don’t know all the details of your divorce. Your partner may have done hurtful things to you, But your children will probably benefit from having both parents in their lives as long as both of you are supportive and caring.