The Pros and Cons Of Sole Custody: Weighing Options

Custody battles are one of the most stressful things a couple can go through. There are pros and cons of sole custody versus joint custody. A lot depends on the situation and parents involved. You need to weigh the options and decide if seeing sole custody is the right decision for you, your children, and your ex-partner.

The Pros and Cons of Sole Custody: Is This The Right Move?

Positives of Sole Custody

When debating the pros and cons of sole custody, it is important to know the reason why you are seeking it. If there was abuse or neglect towards you or the children, then it might be best for them to be entirely in your care. Similarly, if there are substance abuses or severe mental illness that could impair somebody’s judgment, it might be safer to keep the children with one parent only. The positives in this instance would be that you could feel confident that your children are safe. Another positive is that if it’s only you making decisions for your children, you don’t have to discuss options with your ex. There can be less stress over important decisions.

Negatives of Sole Custody

Another thing to consider when debating the pros and cons of sole custody is that although you won’t have to run every decision by your partner, you also don’t have them to bounce ideas off of. If stressful situations arise with your kids, you won’t have the benefit of your partner’s advice. Another thing to consider is how overwhelming taking care of children full time alone can be. And of course, seeking sole custody can be a huge source of pain for the parent that loses custody. It can lead to feelings of resentment between you and your ex, as well as your children.

What to Do After You’ve Made Your Decision

After you’ve weighed the pros and cons of sole custody, you might have decided to seek sole or joint custody. If you are seeking joint custody, you and your ex will need to work out a schedule. This also might include finding new places to live or coordinating with child care and school pickups. If you have decided to seek sole custody, you’ll probably want to arrange some childcare help. You’ll need to have backup options for things like school pick-ups and taking children to activities. In case you get sick or work keeps you busy, you’ll need to know who to call for emergency childcare. You also might want to look into help since you are now the sole caregiver, which can be overwhelming.

There are many pros and cons of sole custody. Make sure you weigh the pros and cons to yourself, your children, and your ex-spouse. Seeking sole custody can cause a lot of emotions, so be sure of your decision before you seek it. Once you’ve decided which route to go, try to prepare things in advance as much as possible. This will hopefully make the transition easier for the kids. The most important thing is that you work out a situation where your children are happy and supported.

Benefits of Dating a Divorcee

Some people overlook divorcees in the dating pool. However, there are many benefits of dating a divorcee. Aside from their life experience, they know what they want in a partner. In addition, they will be unlikely to rush things in a relationship. They hopefully will be quick to recognize issues within a relationship as well. Finally, they have proved that they are committed and hopefully have learned from their first relationship. Try not to count out divorcees as potential partners.

Benefits of Dating a Divorcee: Let Their Experience Work in Your Favor

They Know What They Need in a Partner

One of the major benefits of dating a divorcee is that they have learned what they need in a partner. They know what works in a relationship and what kills a relationship. Divorcees will therefore be honest about their needs and quick to see issues. They have probably also learned their strengths and weaknesses as a partner. As a result, they will be more willing to work on their shortcomings.

They Won’t Rush Into Things

Divorcees are more likely to take things slow in a relationship. One of the important benefits of dating a divorcee is that they will be more likely to make their next relationship work longtime. They will take time to make sure their next partner is a better fit. Because they know the stress of divorce, they won’t be likely to rush into another marriage. Therefore, if they do commit, it will probably be a marriage that lasts forever.

Quick to Recognize Issues

Another of the benefits of dating a divorcee is that they’ll be able to recognize problems brewing. They will be quick to see issues that could harm your relationship. They have seen first hand how some problems can ruin a marriage. Therefore, they know how certain issues can spiral out of control. Because of this, they’ll be quick to address those problems.

They’re Committed

Finally, knowing they are willing to commit is one of the main benefits of dating a divorcee. They have proven that they are willing to commit to a marriage. Even though their first marriage didn’t work out it doesn’t mean it was all their fault. There are many reasons why marriages fail. They’ve proven that they are not afraid of commitment. And hopefully, they’ve learned some valuable lessons from their first marriage.

Dating divorcees can be a great option for somebody looking for a mature partner. One of the many benefits of dating a divorcee is the fact that they are worldly. They have experienced the highs and lows of a relationship. Because of this, they’ll be likely to take that experience into their future relationships and make those even stronger.

How-to Decide if You Should Date a Divorcee

Statistics say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That means there are going to be quite a few divorcees out there. When you are on the dating scene, you are likely to encounter several, or many, divorcees. There are going to be different pros and cons that come with dating someone who has been divorced before. Here are some things to consider if you are trying to decide if you should date a divorcee.

How-to Decide if You Should Date a Divorcee: Choosing a Relationship

Commitment

Divorcees have already made a commitment to marriage (at least) once already. This likely means that they will have a clearer mindset about the reality of marriage and the problems that can arise. Due to this, they may be slower to make another commitment again. However, know that once they do make a commitment, they are more likely to stick with it. They will not want to go through the pain of another separation again. This is all good to know if you are going to date a divorcee.

They will have experienced what worked and what did not work in a relationship. They will also have experienced a wedding, marriage, and end of a marriage. Through all of the highs and lows of this process, they will have learned a lot about themselves and what is important to them. This may have made them more well-rounded as a person. This experience is invaluable when forming a new relationship. However, these experiences could also make a divorcee bitter as well.

Family Ties

It is also good to consider the family ties that come along with a divorcee. There will always be a tie, in some way or another, with an ex. This same thing is true if this person has children. No matter the age of the children, or whether or not they live with their parent or not, the kids will come as part of the package. When children are involved, your partner will likely have to have contact with their ex. This can especially be difficult when a new relationship is developing.

If you are going to date a divorcee, you will have to honestly ask yourself if you are able to accept these family ties. Know that your partner may take a while to introduce you to his or her children. This is nothing against you, it is just protecting the children’s feelings and emotions. If this relationship turns into marriage, you will need be comfortable that you will become a stepparent. Depending on the situation, this could be a really amazing or challenging transition.

How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce

Exercise is a great way to feel happier and relieve stress after your divorce. However, it’s also great for its physical health benefits too. Therefore, it’s good to know some helpful strategies to get fit post-divorce. That way, you can really get as much out of your workout as possible…

How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce: Key Techniques

Eat right

Your diet is important if you want to get fit post-divorce. After all, if you don’t eat healthy, then your workout will go to waste. As such, don’t fall into the trap into thinking you can just eat whatever and “sweat it out.” Instead, you should focus on creating a healthy diet which will help support your body during a workout and refuel it afterwards.

For example, eating fruits and vegetables before you work out is better than doing so afterwards, as they’ll be able to help fuel your workout. Afterwards, protein and carbs will be key. Many dietary experts suggest that a 3:1 ratio of carbs-to-protein is best for helping your body recover.

Find a good workout plan

When you want to get fit post-divorce, you should have a good workout plan. Different plans will focus on different parts of the body. Others may specialize in specific goals, like weight loss or muscle gain. Which plan you pick depends on what exercise goals you want to achieve.

Plus, you have a lot of choices to choose from. It’s also easy to mix and max parts of different plans to get a more-complete custom plan. This is good for when you want to add some variety, as your body may build resistance to your normal routine. Mixing things up ensures you get a good workout every time.

Get enough sleep

Sleep is a key element when you want to get fit post-divorce. Sleep is crucial for giving your body time to recover from your workouts and get ready for the next day. In particular, it gives your muscles a chance to heal and get stronger from your exercises. Skimping on sleep can minimize the results you get from your workouts.

In general, it’s good to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. In fact, working out may make it easier for you to fall asleep. The combination of exercising wearing you out while also improving your body tends to lead to better, longer sleep for many people.

How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce

After your divorce is finalized, or even during the separation process, you may want to find a new hobby. These can occupy your time and give you something to look forward to. There are so many different types of hobbies out there that there will be no shortage things you could choose. However, the pandemic does make this a little bit more difficult. To make things easier, you need to look for Covid-friendly hobbies.

How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce: Enjoyable Distractions

Virtual Cooking Classes

If you are looking to find Covid-friendly hobbies, cooking classes help to make cooking fun. There are so many cooking classes you could take. Some culinary schools or community colleges offer cooking classes as a continuing education program. Some of these courses are offered online, which is perfect for this current environment. They offer single classes, or sets of classes, that could last a few days to a few months. You could always sign up with a friend to take these classes with you for extra fun. You will learn a great skill or at least some new recipes, plus get to eat some delicious food at the end of the class.

Skill Pop is another place to take a culinary class. While they typically offer classes in-person, they now offer classes online for a Covid-friendly option. Skill Pop even offers cooking decorating classes, which can prepare you to wow your friends when pandemic ends.

Exercise

Sure, many gyms are closed now due to Covid-19, but that does not mean that you can’t exercise. When you are trying to find Covid-friendly hobbies, exercise is one of the best ones you can do. Exercise boosts your mood and relieves stress, plus is good for your health. You do not have to pick up strenuous exercise for you to see positive benefits. If you aren’t into running, cycling, or hiking, you could still get in exercise by walking or doing yoga.

Read

Reading a good book is can be therapeutic for some people. It is possible to even get lost in a good book. When considering Covid-friendly hobbies, grab a good book. There are even virtual book clubs you can join. Get a group of friends to join in, or sign-up for an established book club. You can safely read on your own, but still get the socialization aspect from your virtual book club!

How-to Start Working Again After Divorce

When going through a divorce, you will need to start thinking about your financial situation. Perhaps you were a stay-at-home parent during your marriage and do not have a job now. This life change may now require you to start working again after your divorce. This may be an easy transition for you, but some may also find it to be challenging to reenter the workforce.

How-to Start Working Again After Divorce: Life Transition Preparation

Finances

First, you will need to take a hard look at your finances. Perhaps even after the divorce, you will be in a financial situation where you do not have to work. However, it may be the case where you determine that you will need to start working again after the divorce. Depending on your finances, you will be able to determine if you will need to get a full-time or a part-time job. You will also need to consider if your skillset will allow you to get a job that can cover your expenses.

Continuing Education

Perhaps you have determined that you do not have the skills for a job that gets the income level that you desire or need. In this case, before you start working again, you may need to go back to school. There are quick programs that you can do, such as becoming a dental assisting or a licensed real estate agent. There are even bootcamps for coding classes or digital marketing that will fast-track you to a new career.

For you, getting back into your career may even just be a matter of taking a few continuing education courses to brush up on your knowledge and skills. If you have been out of the workforce for a while, your field likely has new made advancements. Refreshing and updating your skills will make you a more competitive candidate.

Evaluate Your Interests

You will want to evaluate your interests before you start working again. You may have went to school for one thing, but no longer be passionate about that anymore. It is very common for people to find a new career path during their life. Think about what things you enjoy doing and think about how you can apply those things to a job. You will be more likely to enjoy your job if you are doing something that you love.

While it can be daunting to think about going back to work after being out of the workforce for a while, or needing to find a new career that better fits your current situation, it is very possible to do this. Just look at your finances, take courses if needed, and consider your interests. Following these steps will help make the transition much easier.

How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place

After your divorce, you may find yourself needing to move to a new home. Once you make this move, you’ll want to then focus on setting up your post-divorce place. There’s a few things in particular that you can do to really make this new home feel like it’s yours…

How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place: Exciting Changes

Get new furniture

When you move to your post-divorce place, you’ll probably have some furniture to bring along. However, it may be worn or more your ex’s style than yours. Brining in this older furniture can throw off the new feeling your house should bring you.

That’s why it’s good to get some new furniture. Now, you don’t have to worry about if your spouse likes it or not. Instead, you can get whatever appeals to your style and tastes, which helps to make you feel like you really own this new home.

Consider your lighting

Lighting is also important for your post-divorce place. Having more light in your home can not only help you see things, but it’ll also improve your mood. Plus, having more natural light will mean you don’t need to turn the lights on all the time. This will help save some extra money on your power bill!

Try to see if there’s anything you can change about your windows or curtains that’ll allow in more light. Don’t forget to look at your interior lighting as well. It’s best to pick some soft, warm lights rather than harsher ones. This will allow for you to have plenty of light without it being abrasive.

Explore some art

Décor is a good way to express yourself in your post-divorce place. Much like with your furniture, you can now pick the sort of décor which fits your tastes the best. Art in particular is a good way to show off your tastes while also tying your rooms together.

These days, it’s pretty easy to find prints of your favorite art online. That allows for you to get a lot of great pieces for relatively cheap. You can also set up your rooms with themes based around your art. This can help each different room in your home feel unique.

How-to Know If You’re Ready to Remarry

If you are considering marrying someone again after divorce, there is a lot to consider. A second, third, or whatever number marriage can be more complicated than the first. There are many other factors and things to consider if you are wanting to get married again. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you are considering if you are ready to remarry.

How-to Know If You’re Ready to Remarry: Things to Consider

Ask Yourself ‘Why’?

If you are wondering if you are ready to remarry, you will want to ask yourself why you are wanting to marry again. When you look deep down, you may see some warning flags. If not, that is a good sign. For example, are you lonely and just wanting some companionship? Do not marry again just because you are the only single one in your social group, or to please your family.

Do not remarry solely for financial gain. Financial need can be a great motivator for some to marry again. For example, single parents who are struggling to support their children may find it desirable to have extra financial help. Regardless of your gender, don’t marry someone because it will relieve financial stress or help further a corporate career.

Have You Given Yourself Enough Time?

After a divorce, you have a lot to process emotionally, mentally and physically. Make sure you have given yourself enough time to work through these things. You need to have things handled on your end before you can be a good spouse to someone else. Make sure you are not harboring any anger or resentment towards your ex, or even still in love with your ex. If you have not dealt with these feeling, you will take those into your new marriage. Make sure that you are actually ready to remarry. Consider looking deep down into why your first marriage failed, and even consider therapy to make sure those old wounds have truly healed.

Some people rush into new relationships as soon as they split from their ex. Then, after only a few months, they want to get very serious with them. Make sure you give yourself time in this new relationship, even if you have known this person for a while before dating them. You will want to make sure you have had time to get to know them well. It is easy for someone to only show you their good side for the first few months.

Ex’s and Children

The second time around, a marriage may involve blending families. You will have to consider how their ex or children feel about you, and how you feel about them. This also applies to you with your ex and children as well. You are not just marrying one person, you’re entering the relationship with the whole bunch. Make sure that you can handle these relationships and that they will be healthy ones in the long run.

Consider all of these things when you are wondering if you are ready to remarry again. If you feel confident about all of your answers, then you are off of a great start.

How-to Define Your Identity After Divorce

During the separation period, or even after the divorce, you may feel like you do not even know who you are anymore. You likely defined yourself as being a husband or a wife, and part of a unit, but now you just feel alone. However, you do not need to feel this way. While it may be a confusing time of trying to find yourself, take these steps to help define your identity after divorce.

How-to Define Your Identity After Divorce: Finding Yourself

Be Yourself

It is important to remember that before you were married and considered to be a part of a couple, you were just simply you. With that in mind, you were still you during your marriage. That does not change after divorce either. The things that made you special, still make you special. You are not defined by your martial status, or who you are (or are not) married to. Try and dig deep and remember the things that make you tick. What activities you like, what brings you joy, what makes you sad.

So many people lose themselves in a relationship. While it is good to work towards having things in common with your spouse, you do not want to become your spouse. However, even if you fell into this trap, you can still find yourself again. Start by journaling your feelings, interests and dislikes. Really explore these thoughts, and start to remember who you are. This is a great first step in defining your identity after divorce.

Change is Okay

In the same way, know that it is okay that if you find you have changed over time. You enjoyed certain things before you ever got married. However, that does not mean that you have love the same things when you are single again. You have grown up, and your tastes and desires may have changed. Plus, you have lived and experienced things. Therefore, do not expect your identity to be the same after divorce as it was before you were married.

If you need help with this, do not be afraid to go to therapy or talk with someone. This entire process can be emotionally challenging and draining, and you are not the first person to feel this way. Over time, you will see that you start to carve out your own routines and your own life, creating your very own identity. Before you know it, you will feel comfortable just being yourself.

How-to Successfully Move Post-Divorce

Following your divorce, it may be tempting to move somewhere new to get a “fresh start.” However, it may not be all that easy to move post-divorce. As such, it’s good to know what steps you can take to improve your chances of success…

How-to Successfully Move Post-Divorce: Helpful Steps

Consider why you want to move

Before you get your move officially underway, it’s important to consider why exactly you want to move post-divorce. There’s a lot of reasons as to why someone may say they want to move. Some want to start over somewhere new away from where their divorce took place. Others believe that there will be better opportunities for them to start doing what they really love instead.

Still, ask yourself if you really need to move in order to do this. Remember, you can make a lot of those positive changes even if you don’t move. You may also need to make extra considerations about your kids if you’re a co-parent.  You’ll only want to move when you’re certain that it’ll be best for you.

Budget ahead of time

Should you decide to move post-divorce, then you’ll want to start working on a budget. Moving isn’t always cheap, especially if you’re going out-of-state. This can make things a bit complicated when coming off of a divorce. Therefore, it’s good to ensure your finances can handle a move.

Consider not just the expected costs, like down payments or rent, but also any additional living costs as well. This can include extra fees, or things like new furniture, utilities, etc. You’ll also want to factor in moving costs, like moving truck rentals, movers, and gas for longer trips.

Talk to the kids

If you’re a single parent, then one of the hardest things can be getting your kids ready for a move post-divorce. The divorce itself already may have caused a lot of change for them. Now, they may have to leave behind things like the school and friends that they were familiar with.

One way to help your kids deal with this, especially if they’re older, is by getting them involved. Ask them for their thoughts of where they’d like to move, or what they’d want out of a school or community. You should also encourage them to keep in touch with their old friends. This will help them feel like an active part of the move, instead of just an unwilling participant.