Coping Post-Divorce: Healthy Outlets

Divorce tends to be rough for those involved. In fact, it could develop into full-blown depression. Therefore, it’s good to know how to practice healthy coping post-divorce. Doing so can help you really start to turn things around…

Coping Post-Divorce: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Talk it out

One useful way to practice good coping post-divorce is by talking to others. It isn’t healthy to just allow for your thoughts and feelings to stay bottled up. If you do, they’ll just start to get worse and worse over time. Eventually, they’ll boil over and be released in a much more unhealthy way.

Instead, it’s a good idea to try and talk to someone about how you feel. This could involve meeting with a therapist or counselor to work on your emotions. Or, it could just mean talking to a close friend or family. Sometimes, all you need is someone to listen to you.

Express yourself

Another way to engage in some productive coping post-divorce is by expressing yourself. Talking can always be good for getting those feelings out there. But, maybe you feel certain things you can’t describe by just talking. In these cases, it helps to find other ways to express how you feel.

For instance, many people like to try creative writing, such as poems or short stories. Others like to try their hand at painting or photography. If you can find a good way to express your creative side, then it can seriously help with your coping process.

Get active

A lot of people like to include getting active as part of their coping post-divorce process. This is for good reason: exercise has been proven to help people think clearer and feel better. Plus, getting in shape also provides a nice self-esteem boost at a time when you could really use it.

The nice thing about exercise is you have a lot of different options out there as to what you’d like to do. In addition, you can do it practically anywhere. Aside from joining a gym, you can always walk or run outside, or bring the gym to your home! That way, you can find what works for you needs.

Home Buying Post-Divorce

When your divorce is over, it might be nice to spruce up the home a bit. However, what if want to live somewhere new? Home buying post-divorce can be a bit complex, which is why you’ll want to make sure you do it right…

Home Buying Post-Divorce

Be financially ready

Before engaging in any home buying post-divorce, you need to be financial prepared. Divorce tends to leave a big impression on a person’s finances. You might have to not just pay divorce costs, but also adapt to a new single-income household. This can leave your finances in a bit of a critical state.

Plus, buying a house isn’t cheap. It’s a big financial commitment, so you need to be sure you’re ready. Consider what you have saved now, and if it’ll cover buying a house and the other costs, like moving. It’s much better to wait and save in order to avoid financial issues.

Know your needs

Another thing to consider when home buying post-divorce is what you need in a house. For instance, if you have kids, you’ll need rooms and space for them. If you don’t, then you could make due with a smaller home. Or, maybe you need a house which is closer to your new job.

When you recognize your needs, you can plan your house searching accordingly. Plus, you’ll also avoid buying a house with things you don’t need. After all, the bigger the house, the more it’ll cost. Saving money when you can is always handy with purchases like these.

Use a professional

Home buying post-divorce isn’t something you want to do blind. Trying to find house and look at them yourself is going to be a struggle. Plus, odds are you don’t know the finer details which you should be looking for. That’s why it’s useful to bring in a professional.

Making use of a real estate agent can help ensure you find the right house for you. These agents will know what homes are available, if they fit your budget, and where they may need repairs or inspections. That way, you don’t get burned on a potentially bad buy.

Realistic Expectations in Marriage

Expectations can really make or break a marriage. If your expectations are too high, or impossible to live up to, then it can become difficult to adjust to your new way of life. Therefore, it’s important to set up realistic expectations of divorce. Doing so will help you and your partner avoid some constant arguments and issues…

Realistic Expectations in Marriage: Commitment and Struggle

Commitment

Commitment to your marriage is one of the most standard realistic expectations. A marriage is basically like an agreement between you and your partner. Based on your love for each other, you agree to be together and trust you’ll both hold up that end of the agreement. If that commitment is violated, then so is the trust and love that founded the marriage.

Still, it’s important to help reaffirm that trust between the both of you. There’s a couple ways you can do this. Maybe you give your partner verbal affection that makes them confident in your commitment. Or, you do special things with them to show you care. Doing things like these can help show you’re fulfilling that expectation.

Open communication

Healthy communication is also another of the realistic expectations you should have. Couples should be able to talk to each other openly and honestly. A marriage where partners lie to each other and are scared to be honest isn’t a healthy one. Eventually, this will cause things to get worse over time.

Rather, you both should be able to have good, honest discussions. That’s especially true for when you disagree. Instead of getting right into an argument, listen to and respect what each of you have to say. That way, you can work together on a solution that works.

Spending time with each other

Being with one another seems like a pretty straightforward matter. However, this is one of the realistic expectations couples struggle with. It’s always important to spend some quality time with your partner. Still, you also have to accept there will be times you aren’t together either.

Both of you have other important people in your lives, like family and friends. Therefore, it makes sense you’d like to also spend time with them. Both you and your partner should respect that, and even encourage it. As long as you spend plenty of time together too, then it shouldn’t be an issue.

Extra Income Post-Divorce: Making Money

The financial costs of divorce can have you eager to start working again. Still, even when you start working, you might find yourself needing some more money. That’s why it’s useful to look for extra income post-divorce. There’s a few ways you can earn that extra bit of cash…

Extra Income Post-Divorce: Financial Independence

Sell old belongings

One way to get some extra income post-divorce is by selling off things you don’t need anymore. Everyone has some things which are just taking up space in the home. This could be old clothes sitting in the closet, or some decor or furniture that goes unused. Rather than letting it go to waste, it can be useful to try and sell them.

Even if it’s older or in rough condition, you’d be surprised how much you can get for old clothes, furniture, and other items. Plus, on top of getting some money, you also create space for new replacements. While an old-fashion garage sale can work well, there’s also a lot of stores which will take your old items off your hands.

Pick up a “side gig”

There’s been a lot of talk about “side gigs” these days. These are something you do outside of your main job to get a bit of extra cash. That means they’re also pretty handy for getting extra income post-divorce. What’s nice is that there’s a wide variety of gigs you can try your hand at.

For example, everyone is familiar with ride sharing services like Uber or Lyft. However, you could also try freelance writing if that sounds more up your alley. There’s also transcription services; many of them can be done online, and at your own leisure.

Look for seasonal work

Maybe you only need some extra income post-divorce for a short time. One common time people like to make more money is around the holidays. In these cases, where it’ll only be temporary, you could also look for any seasonal jobs that are hiring.

Like the name implies, these jobs will only need you to work for a short time. Plus, they’re usually eager to fill the positions. If you can find a way to fit them into your schedule, and don’t mind the work, then they can be a nice way to make some more money.

Marriage Misconceptions: Healthy Relationships

You can trace many common divorce reasons back to common marriage misconceptions. Everyone enters a marriage with an idea of how it should be. However, these myths can end up putting you on a fast-track towards divorce…

Marriage Misconceptions: Keeping it Healthy

“Good marriages don’t need work”

One of the common marriage misconceptions is thinking marriages don’t require work. We all like to imagine that things will just work between you and your spouse. After all, everyone wants that “happy-ever-after” relationship. The thing is, though, is that those don’t happen overnight.

The fact is that your marriage is going to need some work. You and your partner might get along fine now. But, there’ll still be things you have to deal with and learn from together. Investing that time in now will help ensure things last into the future.

“My partner should know how I feel”

Another of the common marriage misconceptions are partners thinking the other should know how they feel at all times. Instead of telling their partner how they feel, they think their partner shouldn’t need to be told. As a result, this tends to lead to a whole host of communication issues and arguments.

Communication is crucial for any good relationship. Remember: you and your partner aren’t mind readers. You’re not going to know how the other feels or thinks all the time. That’s why it’s important to let each other know if something is wrong, so you can work together on a solution.

“We should never argue”

Arguments are another source of common marriage misconceptions. A lot of people will think that they should never have any kind of arguments in their marriage. If they do argue, then it means that their marriage isn’t going to last and there’s some kind of issue between the both of them.

The thing is, arguments are going to happen. That’s a natural part of any relationship. However, what matters is how often these arguments are, and what they’re about. If they happen all the time, and over trivial things, then it could be an issue. If not, then it’s something you can settle with each other in a healthy way.

Working Post-Divorce

After your divorce, you’ll probably want to boost your income. One good way to do that is by working post-divorce. However, if you haven’t worked in a while, it can feel a bit intimidating. Still, there’s a few steps you can take to get yourself prepared…

Working Post-Divorce: Getting Prepared

Determine your interests

Before you start working post-divorce, it’s important to determine what exactly you’d like to do. For instance, maybe you’d like to do the work you were doing before your marriage. You already have experience and the basic knowledge down, which can make it easier to start again.

Or, you might want to expand your horizons. In that case, it’s good to start doing some research. Consider what exactly it is you’d like to do, and what sort of jobs would fulfill that desire. You can also see what job fields tend to be hiring, as well as which ones pay better than others.

Improve your skills

Another good thing you should do before working post-divorce is to boost your skills. Even if you haven’t been working for a short while, industries are always making new advancements. Therefore, it might be useful to take something like a computer skills course, which will help you get familiar with the latest programs.

However, you might need something more-intensive, especially if you want to pursue a new career. In these cases, it’s useful to get some more education. You can accomplish this by taking courses at a nearby college. Community colleges in particular are a great way to improve your skills at a lower cost.

Refine your resume

A good resume is important for working post-divorce. After all, just because you haven’t been working doesn’t mean you don’t have marketable skills. Even things like volunteer work or other leadership positions can help boost your chances with a potential employer.

It also helps to have another pair of eyes check your resume. Let a friend or two read over it and check for any spelling or other grammatical errors. A career counselor can also help you make sure that your resume stand out.