If you’ve gone through a divorce, you may feel like you’ve been through the wringer. Divorce can be incredibly painful and the stress of it is often compared to the stress of losing a loved one. Self-care after your divorce is so important for your mental health. You deserve to focus on yourself for a little while and heal. Do this by giving yourself time to grieve. Get back to your hobbies and interests. Reconnect with friends since you’ve most likely been very busy. And finally, accept help when it’s offered. You’ve been through so much, giving yourself some self-care is necessary for your mental well-being.
Practicing Self-Care After Your Divorce: Taking Time for Yourself
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Self-care after your divorce starts with giving yourself time and space to experience emotions. You might have been feeling pressure to stay strong. You’ve also probably been very busy lately. You might not have had time really accept your new life. Take time to grieve the loss of your marriage and also the vision you had of your future. It’s okay to swing from emotion to emotion. Now that your divorce is final, you can take the time to feel all the emotions you’ve been too busy to really experience.
Get Back to Your Passions
Another way to practice self-care after your divorce is to get back to your passions. Maybe you had hobbies that you’ve been too stressed or busy to focus on lately. If so, take some time to get back into those. You can also try out a new hobby by taking a class. A bonus of this is that you also could meet new people by doing this. A new hobby can take your mind off of thinking about your divorce.
Reconnect with Friends
Self-care after your divorce should include reconnecting with friends. Sometimes people are hesitant to get together with friends while they go through the divorce process. This is because they don’t really want to discuss the divorce or are afraid of giving away information to a mutual friend. In addition, if you’ve been in a controlling relationship, your partner might not have even let you spend a lot of time with others. If you’ve fallen out of touch with friends for any of these reasons, now is the time to reconnect. Getting out of the house and socializing will help you take your mind off of your divorce.
Finally, self-care after your divorce can include accepting help when it’s offered. Maybe a friend or family member is willing to watch your kids give you a night off. Take them up on the offer! You may even find that a therapist is very helpful in helping your deal with any leftover stress. Many people find it difficult to accept help from others. But you’ve been through enough stress, and you deserve to accept some help.
Self-care after your divorce is so important for your mental well-being. You’ve been through so much stress and deserve to have some time to take care of yourself. Give yourself time and space to experience the range of emotions that come with such a big life change. Get back to your old hobbies or find a new interest to focus on. Reconnect with old friends to help get your mind off of the divorce. And finally, accept help when it’s offered to you. Your friends and family just want what’s best for you. You’ve been through a major life change, and giving yourself a little self-love is important for your mental health.
Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce: Get Your Groove Back
Refocus on Old HobbiesOne way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Oftentimes, divorce can be extremely time-consuming and stressful. It’s hard to make time for hobbies. Now that your divorce is final, you can try to get back to hobbies you care about. If you’re a talented painter, make time to paint. Or try to find a new hobby like yoga or meditation. Finding things you’re passionate about can really boost your self-confidence as you hone new skills.
Reconnect with Old FriendsAnother way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to reconnect with old friends. You might have lost touch with people in the stress of the divorce process. If that’s the case, take the time now to reach out to them. For example, ask a friend to dinner or for a quick coffee. They can help you process your feelings about the divorce. It’s also confidence-boosting to be around people you care about and who respect you.
Positive AffirmationsMany people find positive affirmations to be very helpful in rebuilding confidence after a divorce. Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself repeatedly in order to reprogram your brain to focus on positivity instead of negative self-talk. Many people find it helpful to write them where they’ll be seen frequently. For example, on the bathroom mirror so that they see them each morning as soon as they wake up. It could be something as simple as “I am worth loving.” Conversely, it could be something specific to yourself like “I will name three things I’m grateful for each morning as I brush my teeth.”
Get HelpRebuilding confidence after a divorce can be difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to figure it out on your own. Try reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They’ll be able to help you with negative self-talk and self-doubt. They can often recommend ideas for boosting self-confidence. In addition, it can be very helpful just to have another person to vent your feelings to. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. Divorce can be very damaging to your self-confidence. If you’ve realized that you now have lower self-esteem it’s important to rebuild confidence after a divorce. Re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Finding things that you’re good at can to boost your confidence. Next, re-connect with old friends with who you’ve lost touch. In addition, many people find positive affirmations to be helpful with self-confidence. And finally, get help from a professional. A therapist or counselor is a great resource to use if you’re struggling with low self-esteem. If you can build back your self-confidence after a divorce, you can move on to the next exciting stage of life.
Creating a budget after divorce is absolutely critical. Things have probably changed for you financially now that you’re separated. You may have to make some lifestyle changes in order to stick to a healthy budget. To set your budget, you first need to figure out exactly how much money is coming in. Next, calculate how much your essentials cost. Then calculate any discretionary spending and figure out how much of it you can cut out. And finally, track everything you pay for so you know whether or not you’ve stuck to your goal. Hopefully, by creating a budget, you’ll be able to adjust more easily to your new life and create a savings cushion.
How to Create a Budget After Divorce: Make a Plan and Stick to It
Figure Out Money Coming In
Creating a budget after divorce starts with calculating exactly how much money is coming in. This doesn’t mean your salary. This means your salary minus anything that gets taken out of it. For example, take into account taxes, social security, and 401k deductions. If you are receiving or paying out alimony or child support, include this. Your overall income might be very different now that you are calculating it without your spouse’s additional earnings. You need to know exactly how much money you have to work with at the end of the day.
Next, when creating a budget after divorce, figure out your absolute essentials. You’ll want to know exactly how much money each month you need to survive. These include things like rent or mortgage payments, utilities, health insurance, and groceries. In addition, you may consider a car payment or internet access to work from home as essential needs. Don’t forget essentials for your children like daycare payments.
Calculate Discretionary Spending
Anything that isn’t essential is considered discretionary spending. This is where you can make lifestyle changes and possibly cut your spending if you’re trying to budget after divorce. Some of these things might feel a bit more essential than others. For example, maybe you could give up eating at restaurants several nights a week, but you really don’t think you could give up Netflix. Decide which things are necessary for you to really enjoy life and which things you might be able to reduce or cut out entirely. For example, perhaps you could subscribe to Netflix and Hulu and cut out your cable bill. Or find a car with a smaller monthly payment.
Track Your Spending
Finally, trying to stick to a budget after divorce means you have to track your spending. Otherwise, you won’t know whether or not you’ve actually stuck to your spending goals. Every time you spend money on anything, write it down. There are apps on your phone for this, like Mint, that will help you track your spending. They can give you some idea of how much you’re spending on things that really aren’t essential.
Creating a budget after divorce is important since your financial habits might need to change. It’s difficult to make the transition from two budgets to just one, but a budget will help. Figure out exactly how much money is coming in at the end of the day. Then figure out what your essentials are each month. Next, calculate how much you’d like to spend on discretionary things. And finally, track everything you spend money on so you know if you’re sticking to your goals. Budgeting is an important life skill and one that might serve you well in your new single life, and if you meet another partner down the road. Sticking to a budget might allow you to build up savings for things like home improvements, travel, and emergencies.