Common Divorce Mistakes: What to Avoid

With how important divorce is, you’re going to want to do it the right way. That means avoiding some common divorce mistakes. These mistakes can really make your divorce a lot harder than it should be…

Common Divorce Mistakes

Being confrontational

One of the common divorce mistakes is being too hostile or angry at your ex. Divorce can cause you to experience a lot of negative emotions, and anger certainly can be one of them. Usually, people will get angry at their ex because they blame them for what went wrong or the divorce itself.

This anger is going to make it hard to get anything done in a productive manner. Plus, it’ll make your position look a lot worse to someone like a judge. Therefore, despite what you might feel inside, it’s important to remain calm and cordial when interacting with your ex.

Refusing to cooperate

Another of the common divorce mistakes is when exes refuse to cooperate. Much like with being angry at your ex, it’s also easy to see why you wouldn’t want to work with them. After all, if your marriage didn’t work out, then how will things suddenly work now? However, you’d be surprised at how important it is.

Both you and your ex are going to want the most positive outcome possible. Being willing to work together and cooperatewill let you achieve that. As you find compromises , you’ll both end up with results that you’re satisfied with. This is better than trying to fight one another, and having no one end up happy with the outcome.

Not having support

A lack of support is one of the common divorce mistakes people don’t realize until it’s too late. Some people think that they either don’t need the help, or don’t want to “burden” others with their issues. As a result, they’ll try and tackle their divorce, and the emotions it brings, by themselves.

Usually, this has a negative effect on both the divorce, and a person’s emotional well-being. The thing is, support is very important for processing those strong emotions and starting the healing process. That’s why you shouldn’t be afraid to seek help from family, friends, counselors, or support groups.

Credit Cards During Divorce: Their Impact

With how expensive divorce is, you don’t want to add more costs than you need to. That means you should be careful with your credit cards during divorce. While they can be useful, you also need to make sure they don’t hurt your finances in the process…

Credit Cards During Divorce

Watch your accounts

Before using any credit cards during divorce, you should first make sure the accounts are secure. Many couples like to open up joint accounts, or joint cards. While that might’ve been fine before, it could now be an issue. After all, you don’t want to be accountable for debt that isn’t yours.

If you have a joint account, then you can try to see if you can make it into a sole account. Still, it may just be safer to have the account closed, and then open up a new one. You don’t want a vindictive ex trying to access a joint account and try to hurt you financially.

Use them sparingly

Another good idea is the use credit cards during divorce in a sparring manner. It can be tempting to use them due to the more-flexible payment schedule. However, you might be setting yourself for a big debt issue. Instead, try to limit when you use them.

A good idea is to use them for things you’d have to buy anyways. For example, that may include things like gas or groceries. That way, not only do you keep your payments low, but you can also work on boosting your credit score at the same time.

Make payments on time

Be sure you make your payments on time when using credit cards during divorce. Late payments will mean late fees, and an increase on your interest rate. Eventually, if you fall behind on a lot of payments, your credit score is going to take a serious hit.

It might be helpful to set up automated payments for your credit card bills. Many banks will let you set it up so your payments can be made every month on time. That way, you’ll have one less thing to worry about.

Valentine’s Day Post-Divorce

Handling Valentine’s Day post-divorce can be pretty difficult for some. Seeing all the fanfare can be a constant reminder of what they’ve recently lost. However, with the right kind of preparation, it is possible to make it through the day…

Valentine’s Day Post-Divorce: Surviving the Day

Don’t add fuel to the fire

First, it’s important to understand how you’re feeling. Don’t add fuel to the fire if you already feel upset or angry. Surviving Valentine’s Day post-divorce is all about making yourself feel better.

Try to skip the romantic movie marathons, and instead, put your emotions and effort into something else. You can get some remodeling done, or maybe get some exercise in. Whatever you decide to do, what’s important is getting your mind off the holiday.

Treat yourself

Don’t be afraid to treat yourself on Valentine’s Day. Think of it as you giving yourself a much-needed break. Self-care is very important when it comes to surviving Valentine’s Day post-divorce.

You can get yourself some candies or maybe buy something you’ve had your eye on for a while. Self-care can come in a wide variety of forms. All you need to be worried about is doing or getting whatever makes you happy.

Be with friends

It can be hard to not feel alone after a divorce. People tend to feel isolated and as if the world is passing them by, especially on Valentine’s Day. However, sometimes it helps to show yourself how loved you are.

Having your friends over is a good way to fight that Valentine’s Day post-divorce loneliness. You can, for example, have a nice, in-home potluck to avoid the couples at restaurants. It’s also a nice way to appreciate the friends who have been with you through thick and thin.

Remember that things will get better. Time heals all wounds, and that’s especially true for divorce. Stay focused on improving yourself and you’ll soon be able to enjoy the holiday once more.

Budget Mistakes: Post-Divorce Finances

Having a good budget is important for your post-divorce finances. However, not everyone gets it right the first time. Making budget mistakes can really add some financial stress which you could’ve avoided. Therefore, it’s important to know what are some common ones, and how to fix them…

Budget Mistakes: Common Missteps

Forgetting what’s “essential”

When most people make their new budget, they want to focus on essential expenses. These are the things they know they’ll need, and have to make sure they have money for. Still, many people tend to forget what exactly counts as an essential and what is something they could go without, which is one of the more-common budget mistakes.

For instance, things like grocery shopping, utility bills, and rent/mortgage payments are all essentials. You will need to pay these things so you have food to eat and a roof over your head. Yet, you don’t need premium subscription services or streaming services. It might not seem like much, but that extra money can really make a difference.

Overestimating income

Another of the common budget mistakes has to do with income. For most people, their income is the money they can use on their expenses, and hopefully save up as well. The issue is that income isn’t the simple, straightforward number we tend to think that it is. Rather, they need to account for net income.

Net income is the amount of money you actually take home. After all, everyone has taxes and other deductions taken out of their paycheck. That’s going to limit the amount of money you’ll have to spend. Therefore, you need to plan around that net income instead.

Not seeking outside help

Budget mistakes can be troublesome, but they are also something you can fix. Sometimes, however, you might struggle to see what exactly you need to change. When this happens, you’ll want to avoid yet another mistake where you don’t get extra help.

Meeting with some kind of financial adviser can help you see what’s wrong and how to fix it. They will work with you to look at your budget, and make sure you understand what’s causing issues. Then, they’ll develop a plan to help you turn things around and make it finally work for your needs.

Remarrying: A Leap of Faith

With how hard it can be to date again after a divorce, you’ll probably be pretty happy when you find someone you connect with. When things start to get more “serious”, thoughts of remarrying might cross your mind. However, what if you’re unsure about if things will be a repeat of last time? There’s a few things you can do to help ensure this marriage goes how you want…

Remarrying: Making It Work

Understand your baggage

Remarrying without some kind of baggage is basically impossible. Still, that doesn’t mean you should be afraid of that. Rather, it means you should take the time to understand what this baggage is, and why you may have it. Once you do that, then you can ensure it won’t interfere with your new marriage.

For example, say your last marriage ended due to infidelity. This might cause you to be suspicious of your partner if they’re running late or out of town. You could also have trouble trusting them. Eventually, this could cause problems if you don’t confront and move past it.

Be open & vulnerable

Another thing about remarrying is that it’s important to be open to your new partner. It’s understandable to worry about being too vulnerable. Doing so can make you feel exposed, and bring about fears that your partner will take advantage of that openness, potentially like your last one did.

While that openness can be scary, it’s also an important part of any trusting relationship. You and your partner have to both be able to be honest with each other. If you are willing to be vulnerable, they will be as well, and your bond will strengthen overall.

Keep expectations realistic

Remarrying tends comes with extra expectations. Not only do you want this marriage to go well, but you’ll also probably be comparing it to your previous one. Sometimes, these expectations can get a little out of hand, and take a toll on your relationship when things don’t live up to them.

To avoid this, you and your partner should keep those expectations realistic. Try to sit down and talk to each other about some of those key expectations you have. These could be about finances, handling conflicts, raising kids, or anything else you may think of. That way, you can both be on the same page and get your expectations set accordingly.

Divorce While Living Together

Usually, most people think that a divorce means one spouse will move out of the house. However, sometimes both partners will stay in the same place. Pulling off a divorce while living together might seem frustrating, but there are ways to make it easier for the both of you…

Divorce While Living Together

Why do it?

Why would a couple decide to do their divorce while living together? As it turns out, there’s a few reasons why they may make this choice. For starters, it can help save money. Doing divorce this way means you don’t have to worry about the costs that come with finding a new place to live.

Also, it might be a good idea if you have kids. It can be hard for them to register the divorce, and then see one of their parents leave right after. If you still decide to live together, you can help your kids understand what’s going on, and prepare for the changes that’ll come.

Cooperation is key

To make your divorce while living together go smoothly, you and your partner will need to work together. In general, this means doing the things you probably did before. For example, you’ll both still want to help with things like cleaning, buying groceries, and handling bill payments.

However, you’ll also want to keep things civil for the kids. In fact, this is a good time to work on a co-parenting plantogether. That way, you’ll have it all sorted out and ready to go once the divorce is finalized.

Have good boundaries

Of course, the biggest hurdle to doing a divorce while living together is avoiding those same issues which lead to the divorce in the first place. To help avoid those problems, it’s important to have good boundaries. These boundaries will help you have some personal space, even when sharing a home.

One thing divorcing couples who are still living together tend to do is set up separate rooms. That way, they have their own space to go to for privacy. It might feel a little “off” at first, but it’s still important to respect those boundaries.

New Year Post-Divorce

You might not feel all that excited entering a new year after a divorce. However, a new year post-divorce doesn’t have to be something which gets you down. Rather, there are some things you can do to make this year something to look forward too…

New Year Post-Divorce: Making Big Changes

Reflect on your ex

Most people would hope to leave behind their ex in a new year post-divorce. Still, it would be good to take some time and reflect on them. It’s somewhat common for people to have an idealized version of their ex. Even after the divorce, they might start to think about if things were “really that bad”.

That’s why it helps to reflect on them now. Really think about how they acted and what caused you to want to leave. Even those little things which got under your skin help you realize who they really were. Once you do this, you can be glad you won’t have to deal with it again.

Set new goals

A new year post-divorce also comes with new freedoms. At this point, you get to call the shots again for your life. You won’t have to worry about someone telling you what you can or can’t do. Rather, you can finally start doing things you want to do again.

This is a perfect time to set some new goals to achieve. For instance, maybe you set a goal to go back to school and get more education for a better job. Or, maybe you want to try and improve your skills in a hobby you like. Goals like these will be a great source of motivation for you in the new year.

Reinvent yourself

Starting a new year post-divorce can be great for reinventing yourself. Again, that new freedom allows for you to become the person you want to be. That means you can change things up. Maybe you get a new wardrobe, a new haircut, or even go for tattoos and piercings! It’s really up to you.

By taking these steps, you can also begin to really appreciate yourself again. It can be tough to feel all that great after a divorce. However, if you really begin to take steps to improve yourself, you’ll soon find you have a lot to be excited about.