Parental Help: Providing Support During Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce is going to be hard for any couple, but it’ll be especially rough on your children. Due to this, they might need some extra parental help. Doing so can help make divorce easier for them to handle, and in effect make it easier for you and your ex too…

Parental Help: Make Divorce Easier

Talk to them

It might seem obvious, but talking to your kids is one way to give them the parental help they need. Open communication is crucial for explaining to them what’s going on. Be sure to tell them that what’s going on isn’t their fault, so they don’t feel like they did something wrong.

Also, it’s okay to talk to them about what might change. Your kids will appreciate you being honest with them and can get prepared for those changes this way. Make sure to still talk to them about things like school and sports. This helps them see you still care about them, even with the divorce going on.

Talk respectfully to your ex

Depending on why you’re divorcing, you may feel pretty negatively towards your ex. This can make it very tempting to talk poorly to or about them. However, you don’t want to do this around your kids. In fact, being respectful is another form of parental help.

Talking poorly about your ex to your kids isn’t going to make them “pick your side.” Rather, it’ll just confuse them and make the situation worse. Instead, keep things civil when you need to talk to your ex. Don’t forget the saying “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Spend time together

One of the best forms of parental help is spending time with your kids. While your family may look a bit different, you’re still a family nonetheless. That’s why it’s key you help your kids feel like that family still exists.

Be sure to spend time with your kids like you normally would. Eat dinner together, watch movies, play games, and attend events they have at school. Be sure you also encourage them to also spend similar time with their other parent too!

Divorce Health Issues: Avoiding a Decline

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can affect a lot of areas of your life, even when it’s over. Something you should be especially aware of are divorce health issues. These issues are best addressed early on, which is why it’s crucial to recognize the signs…

Divorce Health Issues: What To Watch

Mental health

Your mental health is one area where divorce health issues can pop up. Divorce tends to cause a lot of stress, as you try to juggle the process itself and the rest of your life. It can also bring about a lot of uncertainty over what your life will be like when the divorce is finished. These can cause pretty high levels of anxiety.

Depression is also a common health issue. Usually, this is due to feeling like a failure after your divorce. It could also be caused by self-esteem issues which arise post-divorce. Seeking out professional help early on can prevent these issues from getting worse.

Weight change

Weight change is also another common divorce health issue. For some, they might find themselves eating too much after their divorce. This is because of how eating “comfort foods”, like their name implies, makes them feel better. However, many of these choices are unhealthy, leading to weight gain.

Other times, a person may not eat enough. They might experience a loss of appetite, and barely eat as much as they should. This can cause them to rapidly lose an unhealthy amount of weight. Ultimately, following a healthy balanced diet can prevent these problems and make you feel better with more energy.

Sleep problems

Many divorce health issues can impact or be related to sleep. Insomnia, for example, tends to be a common issue for many. Others might struggle to sleep consistently through the night, and constantly wake up. A lack of sleep can then lead to issues with one’s mental and physical health.

Too much sleep can also be unhealthy as well. Usually, a desire to sleep constantly can be a sign of depression. Plus, you’ll also prevent yourself from reaching post-divorce goals if you’re sleeping all the time. Avoiding things like caffeine, and going to sleep consistently at proper times can help you get the right amount of sleep.

Individual Therapy: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Before your divorce, you may have tried out couples counseling to address the issues you were facing. However, now that you are divorcing, it may be good to seek out individual therapy. You might be hesitant, based on experiences in the past. But, there are a few benefits you might find by doing so…

Individual Therapy: Potential Benefits

Extra support

When divorcing, a strong support system is very important. For most people, this means leaning on their friends and family. Still, you may need a bit of extra help during this time. That’s one of the potential benefits you can get from individual therapy.

A therapist is able to provide you with professional support that friends or family can’t. This is especially helpful if you’re experiencing some strong negative emotions. A therapist can help you to understand how you feel, and come up with ways to get your mind in a better place.

Honest opinion

Individual therapy can also give you some much-needed honest feedback. While your friends and family may want to help you, they may also give you some biased feedback. This could involve them blaming your spouse for all the things which went wrong, even if that isn’t entirely true. As a result, your own decision making could get influenced in a negative way.

However, a therapist will be able to provide you with honest feedback. They’ll be able to let you know where you may have made mistakes in your marriage as well. While it may be painful, it’ll ultimately be better for you in the long run. Not only will it help clear up your decision making, but it’ll also improve your future relationships.

Help your family

If you have kids, then you’ll know divorce can also be pretty tough on them too. Understandably, you’ll want to help them, but may not know exactly what to do. This is another area where individual therapy can come in handy.

A therapist can help explain what your kids may be feeling during this time. They can also work with you to come up with ways to help them, and protect them from the divorce process. Even if you’re angry at your ex, you’ll be able to ensure your kids remain okay.

Divorce Frustration: Wiping the Slate Clean

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce isn’t always a smooth and stress-free process. This can cause you a lot of divorce frustration. Still, it’s not good to let that frustration get in your way. Rather, you’ll want to take a moment and try to re-focus…

Divorce Frustration: How To Re-Focus

Stop and breathe

Divorce frustration tends to have a bit of a snowball effect. Once something gets you upset, it’ll feel like every other inconvenience will just add onto it. This can leave you feeling immensely frustrated and pretty angry too. This could cause you to act a bit irrationally, which could lead to you making a mistake.

Therefore, when you feel that frustration coming, take a moment to stop and breathe. If you’re able to calm yourself down ahead of time, then you can avoid the massive headache that can come with being frustrated. Plus, being in a calm state of mind helps you see the situation more clearly and pick the best decision.

Consider what you can control

A lot of divorce frustration also comes from things outside of your control. For instance, you might get frustrated at something your ex says or does to you. However, you can’t control how someone will act or what they can say. Instead, you can only control what you do and say.

As a result, don’t get frustrated over things you can’t control. While you can’t control what your ex says or does, you can control how you’ll respond to them. If you respond in a better fashion, you can make them realize their actions won’t get to you. This can help you immensely as the divorce goes on.

Consider a different approach

You can also experience divorce frustration if your view is too narrow. Many people set themselves on something and refuse to change their minds. For example, say you have a specific custody agreement in mind, and your ex disagrees. If you aren’t able to consider different approaches, then you’re going to get frustrated.

On the other hand, if you’re willing to compromise and work with them, you can both avoid frustration. Therefore, don’t be afraid to consider a different perspective. After all, it could be even better than what you had thought of!

Second Marriage Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Getting remarried can be exciting, but for a lot of couples, it’ll end in divorce again. There’s a few different reasons behind second marriage divorce. Knowing the reasons can help you see where most of these second attempts go wrong…

Second Marriage Divorce: Why They Occur

Marrying for the wrong reasons

One common reason for second marriage divorce is when people get married for the wrong reasons. After a divorce, people tend to feel pretty lonely and have low self-esteem. This can make them cling onto the first person who shows them any interest.

A person might do this, despite not knowing this other person all to well. However, due to not wanting to be alone, they may try and rush into a new marriage, thinking they’re in love. Eventually, the reality sets in, and they realize things aren’t going to work out.

Issues from the past

Baggage from the previous marriage is also a common reason for second marriage divorce. Understandably, getting divorced is going to have a bit of an impact. For example, it might make you reluctant to open up to your partner. Or, you might constantly worry that they’re going to cheat on you.

This baggage can make it hard for a second marriage to succeed. If you’re constantly doubting or hiding things from your partner, they’re going to feel like you don’t appreciate or trust them. This can eventually reach the point where another divorce is on the horizon.

Experience from before

Previous divorce experience can make a second marriage divorce more likely to occur. The thing is, if you’ve divorced already, then you know what it’s like. Odds are, you’ve learned some pretty important lessons about what you should or shouldn’t do. This can make the process not that scary anymore.

Therefore, if your new marriage isn’t going how you like, then you won’t be as afraid of divorce like you were in the past. Instead, you know what you need to do and how to get through it in one piece. Rather than being stuck in another bad marriage, you’ll be more willing to cut it off and keep looking.