Child communication can be difficult during a divorce, as most children tend to clam up. From your end, it might’ve been hard enough bringing up the divorce to them. So how do you offer support to them when they seemingly don’t want to talk? As it turns out, there are some key ways in which you can help give that extra support…
Child Communication: Offering Support
Be willing to talk
An important part of good child communication is to let them know you’re willing to talk. For many kids, they tend to think that you’ll be dealing with a lot already. As a result, they don’t think that their own feelings are important. That’s why it’s important to make them feel comfortable sharing by being willing to talk to them.
A good way to do this is to be open about your own emotions in an age-appropriate way. For example, you could tell them that you feel a bit sad too, but you know things will be alright, and then ask them how they’re feeling too. That way, they’ll feel reassured that things will be okay, and that you’re interested in how they feel.
Listen to them
Another important part of good child communication is listening to what they have to say. It’s one thing to get your child comfortable enough to open up to you. However, if they feel like you’re not really listening to them, then they might stop doing so in the future. That’s why you have really give them and their feelings the attention they deserve.
Remember that you might not be able to come up with a simple, instant fix for how they feel. Buying them things might give them a short-term feeling of joy, but it won’t help them in the long-term. Instead, let them know that their feelings are valid and that you’ll both work though things together.
Know the difference between being and acting happy
Just because a child might be acting happy doesn’t mean they truly are. They might just be putting on a happy face because that’s what they think you’ll want to see.
A good way to see if this is the case is to talk to your ex about how they are around them. If they’re more sad or open when they’re with your ex, then you’ll want to work on your child communication techniques with them to allow for them to open up to you too.