How-to Prepare for the Holidays as a Single Parent

The holiday season is just around the corner. This is a time for food, festivities and family. However, for some people, this may be a season of firsts as well. Anyone who has just gone through a divorce may be feeling the dread of going through the holidays alone. This may be your first year preparing for the holidays as a single parent. While the season may feel a bit different, you can still make it special.

How-to Prepare for the Holidays as a Single Parent: Creating New Traditions

Plans with Ex

If you are recently divorced and trying to figure out the holidays as a single parent, know that you will need to discuss and coordinate with your ex. This includes visits as well as gift giving. You want to make sure you are not overlapping one another’s gifts, and that each parent is on the same page. Do not try and outdo your ex with lavish, expensive gifts. If the roles are reversed and your ex is giving over the top gifts that are out of your budget, do not throw your kids into the middle of an argument. Instead, you can give your kids the precious gift of time. If your kids will be with your ex, do not show anger when they go off with their other parent. Do not make them feel guilty or conflicted. Let them know you will look forward to celebrating with them when they get back and tell them to have a great time!

New Traditions

Since the holidays will look different the first year you celebrate the holidays as a single parent, try and create new, fun traditions. However, do not forget your old traditions too, as long as they fit your your new situation. You can do this whether you have young children or adult children. If this will be your first year alone without your ex or your kids, make other plans for your celebrations. Spend time with your extended family, friends, or other single parents who may also be alone. Also, remember that there is not a rule that a holiday must only be celebrated exclusively on one certain day. An early, or delayed, celebration with friends and family just gives you an extended holiday season, and can be just as special too. Celebrating the holidays as a single parent for the first time may be a challenge. However, you will be able to get through it successfully. Enjoy old traditions if they are not too painful or no longer fit your family, and create new traditions too. Be considerate of your kids and their other parent, and keep any anger or disagreements to yourself for the sake of your kids. Remember, this will be a new way to celebrate the holidays for them too.

How-to Find a Job After a Divorce: Hitting Your Stride

Getting a divorce could mean having to reenter the job market. It is common that spouses that were “stay-at-home” parents before the split, but may need to find a job after the split. During the separation period, you will have to take a good hard look at your financial situation. Depending on your circumstances, you may determine that without income, you will not be able to afford the same time of lifestyle you have been accustomed to. Therefore, it is important to know how to find a job after a divorce. With a little time, effort, and patience, it is possible to reenter the workforce.

How-to Find a Job After a Divorce: Reentering the Workforce

Pick a Path

First, to find a job after a divorce, you will have to determine which career path you want to pursue. Keep in mind that just because you went to school for something, or worked in that industry before, does not mean you have to return to that field. It is a good idea to do some research about different career options. Ask your friends about their careers, and if they enjoy them. You could get inspiration from them! Doing online searches is a good option as well.

This is a great opportunity to do some soul-searching and determine what you want to do with your life. Start by thinking about what you love doing and what you are passionate about. Even if you can not turn your exact passion into a career, try and evaluate what it is about that hobby and see if you can apply that into another career path. Perhaps you enjoy playing team sports. Do you enjoy the socialization part of it? Or perhaps the competitive or strategic part of it? These different aspects can translate into different types of careers you could consider.

Set Yourself Up For Success

When trying to find a job after a divorce, you will want to take the steps to set yourself up for success. You will want to make sure to create an updated resume and cover letter so that you are prepared to apply for jobs. Have a friend you trust, or a career coach, to read it and give you feedback. Don’t forget to let your friends know that you are on the job hunt. They may know of positions or have connections that may be able to help you out.

If you don’t already have one, create a profile on LinkedIn. This will help potential employers find you, and help you to connect with others in your desired field. Having an update LinkedIn profile is an important step in the job hunting process. Many employers will even have a spot on their job applications for you to share your LinkedIn account name.

Apply

Applying for jobs can be frustrating and draining. You may hear a lot of “no’s”, or even get ignored, before getting a “yes”. Do not get discouraged. If you are not getting any luck, consider getting a career coach, or speaking with a recruiter. These can be helpful resources when trying to find a job after a divorce.

Education

If you absolutely can not find a job that you like and can support you without going back to school, you can pursue further education. There are plenty of programs out there that are geared towards adult students. Most of these even provide schedules that work around work schedules. This could allow you to find an interim job to be able to make money, plus still be able to take classes. Keep in mind that just because you go back to school for something doesn’t mean you will automatically land your dream job in that field. It could still take time, effort and patience to get to where you want to be. You may have to work some entry-level jobs initially, but you can still get to the career that you want with a little work.

How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce

Exercise is a great way to feel happier and relieve stress after your divorce. However, it’s also great for its physical health benefits too. Therefore, it’s good to know some helpful strategies to get fit post-divorce. That way, you can really get as much out of your workout as possible…

How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce: Key Techniques

Eat right

Your diet is important if you want to get fit post-divorce. After all, if you don’t eat healthy, then your workout will go to waste. As such, don’t fall into the trap into thinking you can just eat whatever and “sweat it out.” Instead, you should focus on creating a healthy diet which will help support your body during a workout and refuel it afterwards.

For example, eating fruits and vegetables before you work out is better than doing so afterwards, as they’ll be able to help fuel your workout. Afterwards, protein and carbs will be key. Many dietary experts suggest that a 3:1 ratio of carbs-to-protein is best for helping your body recover.

Find a good workout plan

When you want to get fit post-divorce, you should have a good workout plan. Different plans will focus on different parts of the body. Others may specialize in specific goals, like weight loss or muscle gain. Which plan you pick depends on what exercise goals you want to achieve.

Plus, you have a lot of choices to choose from. It’s also easy to mix and max parts of different plans to get a more-complete custom plan. This is good for when you want to add some variety, as your body may build resistance to your normal routine. Mixing things up ensures you get a good workout every time.

Get enough sleep

Sleep is a key element when you want to get fit post-divorce. Sleep is crucial for giving your body time to recover from your workouts and get ready for the next day. In particular, it gives your muscles a chance to heal and get stronger from your exercises. Skimping on sleep can minimize the results you get from your workouts.

In general, it’s good to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. In fact, working out may make it easier for you to fall asleep. The combination of exercising wearing you out while also improving your body tends to lead to better, longer sleep for many people.

How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids

In some divorce arrangements, parents may end up with split custody of their children. Split custody is different than joint custody. This is a child custody arrangement in which one parent has sole custody of one or more children. Then, the other parent has sole custody of the remaining siblings. This arrangement can be difficult for both the parents and the children. If this applies to you, learn how to manage having split custody of your kids.

How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids: Divorce Arrangements

Difficulties

Having split custody of your kids can be difficult. One of the hardest parts about it is that your kids may never actually get to see one another. If one child spends all week at moms, while the other spends all week at dads, and they switch on the weekend, they will never be together. Going to living with only one parent at a time can be a big change for children. Compound that with also no longer living with their siblings too, and that makes it even more of an adjustment.

Benefits

On the other hand, there can be some benefits of having split custody of your kids. For example, this could be beneficial if one child is combative or physically or emotionally abusive to the other. In this case, it may be best to have both of the siblings separated. Another example is if one child has special needs. Depending on how severe the disabilities are, one parent may need to solely focus on taking care of the child with special needs. A parent who works away from home full-time likely would not be able to take care of a special needs child in the same way a stay-at-home parent can.

In some cases, if there are large age gaps between siblings, each may prefer to live with a different parent. Another situation is if one parents lives close to a special school that would be beneficial for one child, that child may choose to live with that parent. For example, if there is a really good school of the arts, and a child really wants to be in that program, they may decide to live at the house closest to that school. This could also apply to certain schools for kids with physical or learning disabilities.

There are definitely pros and cons to having split custody of your kids. However, if you make decisions with your children’s best interest in mind, you can manage this unusual situation.

How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce

After your divorce is finalized, or even during the separation process, you may want to find a new hobby. These can occupy your time and give you something to look forward to. There are so many different types of hobbies out there that there will be no shortage things you could choose. However, the pandemic does make this a little bit more difficult. To make things easier, you need to look for Covid-friendly hobbies.

How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce: Enjoyable Distractions

Virtual Cooking Classes

If you are looking to find Covid-friendly hobbies, cooking classes help to make cooking fun. There are so many cooking classes you could take. Some culinary schools or community colleges offer cooking classes as a continuing education program. Some of these courses are offered online, which is perfect for this current environment. They offer single classes, or sets of classes, that could last a few days to a few months. You could always sign up with a friend to take these classes with you for extra fun. You will learn a great skill or at least some new recipes, plus get to eat some delicious food at the end of the class.

Skill Pop is another place to take a culinary class. While they typically offer classes in-person, they now offer classes online for a Covid-friendly option. Skill Pop even offers cooking decorating classes, which can prepare you to wow your friends when pandemic ends.

Exercise

Sure, many gyms are closed now due to Covid-19, but that does not mean that you can’t exercise. When you are trying to find Covid-friendly hobbies, exercise is one of the best ones you can do. Exercise boosts your mood and relieves stress, plus is good for your health. You do not have to pick up strenuous exercise for you to see positive benefits. If you aren’t into running, cycling, or hiking, you could still get in exercise by walking or doing yoga.

Read

Reading a good book is can be therapeutic for some people. It is possible to even get lost in a good book. When considering Covid-friendly hobbies, grab a good book. There are even virtual book clubs you can join. Get a group of friends to join in, or sign-up for an established book club. You can safely read on your own, but still get the socialization aspect from your virtual book club!

How-to Start Working Again After Divorce

When going through a divorce, you will need to start thinking about your financial situation. Perhaps you were a stay-at-home parent during your marriage and do not have a job now. This life change may now require you to start working again after your divorce. This may be an easy transition for you, but some may also find it to be challenging to reenter the workforce.

How-to Start Working Again After Divorce: Life Transition Preparation

Finances

First, you will need to take a hard look at your finances. Perhaps even after the divorce, you will be in a financial situation where you do not have to work. However, it may be the case where you determine that you will need to start working again after the divorce. Depending on your finances, you will be able to determine if you will need to get a full-time or a part-time job. You will also need to consider if your skillset will allow you to get a job that can cover your expenses.

Continuing Education

Perhaps you have determined that you do not have the skills for a job that gets the income level that you desire or need. In this case, before you start working again, you may need to go back to school. There are quick programs that you can do, such as becoming a dental assisting or a licensed real estate agent. There are even bootcamps for coding classes or digital marketing that will fast-track you to a new career.

For you, getting back into your career may even just be a matter of taking a few continuing education courses to brush up on your knowledge and skills. If you have been out of the workforce for a while, your field likely has new made advancements. Refreshing and updating your skills will make you a more competitive candidate.

Evaluate Your Interests

You will want to evaluate your interests before you start working again. You may have went to school for one thing, but no longer be passionate about that anymore. It is very common for people to find a new career path during their life. Think about what things you enjoy doing and think about how you can apply those things to a job. You will be more likely to enjoy your job if you are doing something that you love.

While it can be daunting to think about going back to work after being out of the workforce for a while, or needing to find a new career that better fits your current situation, it is very possible to do this. Just look at your finances, take courses if needed, and consider your interests. Following these steps will help make the transition much easier.

How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place

After your divorce, you may find yourself needing to move to a new home. Once you make this move, you’ll want to then focus on setting up your post-divorce place. There’s a few things in particular that you can do to really make this new home feel like it’s yours…

How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place: Exciting Changes

Get new furniture

When you move to your post-divorce place, you’ll probably have some furniture to bring along. However, it may be worn or more your ex’s style than yours. Brining in this older furniture can throw off the new feeling your house should bring you.

That’s why it’s good to get some new furniture. Now, you don’t have to worry about if your spouse likes it or not. Instead, you can get whatever appeals to your style and tastes, which helps to make you feel like you really own this new home.

Consider your lighting

Lighting is also important for your post-divorce place. Having more light in your home can not only help you see things, but it’ll also improve your mood. Plus, having more natural light will mean you don’t need to turn the lights on all the time. This will help save some extra money on your power bill!

Try to see if there’s anything you can change about your windows or curtains that’ll allow in more light. Don’t forget to look at your interior lighting as well. It’s best to pick some soft, warm lights rather than harsher ones. This will allow for you to have plenty of light without it being abrasive.

Explore some art

Décor is a good way to express yourself in your post-divorce place. Much like with your furniture, you can now pick the sort of décor which fits your tastes the best. Art in particular is a good way to show off your tastes while also tying your rooms together.

These days, it’s pretty easy to find prints of your favorite art online. That allows for you to get a lot of great pieces for relatively cheap. You can also set up your rooms with themes based around your art. This can help each different room in your home feel unique.

How-to Know if You’re Ready For Divorce

You are at the point that you are questioning your marriage. Perhaps there has been infidelity, lack of trust, abuse or loss of love. Even though all of the signs point to yes, you are still likely questioning whether or not you should get a divorce. Before making the final decision about divorce, there are things you should think about to know if you’re ready for divorce.

How-to Know if You’re Ready For Divorce: Questions to Consider

Do You Have Feelings for Your Partner?

It is very common for people who want to get a divorce still have feelings for their spouse. However, there has been something that has happened that has caused a lack of closeness and intimacy. If you fall into this category, it may be best to try and work things out with your partner. This could prevent you from pulling the trigger if you really are not ready for divorce. Otherwise, you may end up in a situation where you are are feeling a deep loss, and feel worse off than where you were before.

Are You Just Threatening Divorce?

Some people throw out empty threats of divorce when they are mad, or may think or say things they do not mean during an argument. Other times, people can use the threat of divorce to hold power over the other spouse. This is not a healthy way to to act in a relationship. Holding empty threats over someone makes you loose your credibility for the future, plus it is destructive to the relationship.

If you are truly ready for divorce, you need to be able to be at the point that you feel that way over a sustained period of time. You need to be able to truly say that you are ready to close that chapter of your life. You will need to know there is nothing more you can do or give to this relationship. Also, you will need to be able to discuss this with your spouse without blame.

Are You Ready to Handle the Consequences?

There will certainly be negative consequences from divorce. Many people have dreams of a happy family, but sometimes this is not the case. However, divorce brings pain, perhaps even to your children. Keep in mind that it is not worth staying in an unsafe or unhealthy marriage just to prevent other people feeling pain. Just know that if you are ready for divorce, you have to be ready for the consequences that follow.

For example, if you are only wanting a divorce because you are just bored with your spouse, think these following points through. Are you okay with your lifestyle or finances changing? Can you accept your children’s anger and sadness? Can you accept times of insecurity, fear, or the unknown? Are you willing to mentally and emotionally let go of your spouse? While you will waver with your emotions, you need to know that overall, you will be able to answer “yes” to these things to know you are ready for divorce.