Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Running into your ex after a divorce might be an experience you’re absolutely dreading. If you and your ex parted ways in a bitter divorce battle, the thought of running into them might have you sweating. But unfortunately, if you live in the same area, the chances are high that you’ll see them at some point. If you have children together, it’s even more likely that you’ll see them at events for your kids. Establish boundaries at the outset of your divorce. Keep living your life though – don’t avoid places you enjoy just because your ex might be there. If you do see them, try not to make a scene or get into an argument. Remember, taking the high road is almost always the best policy. Hopefully, you and your ex will learn to co-exist peacefully in the same city and you won’t fear running into them forever.

Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Establish Boundaries

Running into your ex after a divorce can be a bit of a shock if you see them unexpectedly. However, you can establish boundaries with them during the divorce itself. If there are certain classes you take together, or activities you both participate in, you can figure out whether or not to continue these. If you do not want to see each other, you can establish that early. You can handle children’s events the same way. If you’d rather not run into them, plan to divvy up events so that you don’t overlap with each other.

Keep Living Your Life

After running into your ex after a divorce, you might be tempted to avoid that place where you saw them. But really, it’s possible to run into them anywhere. If you avoid every place you think that they might show up, you’ll end up limiting your own happiness. Keep living your life. If you run into them, you run into them. Avoiding places you enjoy will just make you unhappy in the end, and gives them all the power that you fought hard for.

Don’t Make a Scene

If the dreaded event occurs, try not to make a scene. Running into your ex after a divorce might be a shock to the system. But making a public scene is really not the solution. You’ve already hashed out your divorce, so arguing after the fact will get you nowhere. You two got divorced for a reason, it’s unlikely that you’ll change their minds about anything or that they’ll change yours.

Take the High Road

Running into your ex after a divorce can happen anytime. And it’s possible that you’ll also meet their new partner or they’ll meet your new partner. It’s always best to take the high road. Try to speak with confidence and don’t stoop to arguing with them or acting bitter. The happier you seem after your divorce, the more they’ll realize what a great catch you were that they let go. Act politely, calmly, and with confidence, and keep the encounter short. Running into your ex after a divorce is just one of many painful milestones that you probably will face during a separation. However, living in fear of it will only make you unhappy. Don’t avoid places where you think you might run into your ex because then you’ll just be limiting your own freedom. You can set boundaries at the outset of your divorce so that you know you won’t run into them any more than is needed. If it does happen, try to remain calm and speak with confidence. Don’t make a public scene or try to get into an argument over your divorce. Take the high road and show that you have moved on maturely. Hopefully, you won’t run into them often, but when you do you’ll be able to handle it with confidence and grace.

How to Move on After an Abusive Relationship

It can be incredibly difficult to move on after an abusive relationship. Physical abuse can leave you hurt and scarred. But emotional abuse can almost be harder to move on from because it’s harder to recognize. If you have gone through either of these and are struggling to move on, it’s time to make your wellbeing the priority. Try to go back through your relationship and pinpoint personality traits that might have contributed to the abuse. Write down everything that happened and how you feel. Next, make your own health a priority, and consider speaking to a therapist for extra support. Hopefully, you’ll be able to move on from the abusive relationship and find a new partner that treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

How to Move on After an Abusive Relationship: Emotional or Physical

Pinpoint Personality Traits

One of the ways to move on after an abusive relationship is to look back over your entire time together and try to pinpoint any personality traits that are red flags. Perhaps your partner was increasingly jealous or controlling? Maybe your fighting was getting out of hand. Or maybe a slight push at the start didn’t seem like a big deal. But then the physical abuse becomes more violent. Finding these little signs along the way are red flags. Knowing what to look for can help you see them as a future partner.

Write it Down

Another thing to help you move on after an abusive relationship is to write things down. For example, you can find a journal and write down every instance of abuse you can remember. Also, record the way that you’re feeling right now. Also, try to think back on how you felt in those moments. If you ever are feeling like you want to give your ex another chance, it can be helpful to read back over your entries. Seeing the abuse written down can put things in perspective. It can also help you see how things got out of hand, so you can avoid it next time.

Make Your Health a Priority

If you’re trying to move on after an abusive relationship, it’s time to put your health as a priority. Find things that make you feel happy and self-confident. For example, maybe you haven’t had as much time for old friends lately. Or perhaps you have a hobby that you take pride in. Make your mental health a priority and try to get plenty of sleep and exercise.

Consider Therapy

Finally, if you’re struggling to move on after an abusive relationship, it can help to go to therapy. A therapist can give you advice and tips to help you move on. They can also help you recognize warning signs in a partner. Professional therapy can be incredibly helpful in building back up your self-confidence. It can be hard to move on after an abusive relationship. Physical abuse and emotional abuse can be damaging and the scars can last a long time. Even after the physical scars have healed. Try to look back on your relationship and see if there are any red flags that you might be able to notice in the future. It’s time to make your own well-being a priority. For example, try a new exercise routine or get back into an old passion. And finally, consider speaking to a professional therapist. Hopefully, all of these things can help you move on from your abusive relationship and help you get back into the dating world so you can begin a new relationship with somebody more worthy of your time.

Looking Your Best for Divorce Court

Looking your best for divorce court might not seem all that important, but first impressions matter. The American justice system is old-fashioned and most judges prefer people to dress respectfully in the courtroom. This means having a professional-looking hairstyle and clothing. In addition, personal style is important, but in the courtroom, it’s best to just keep it somewhat plain and simple. Looking best probably won’t affect your outcome in any major way, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.

Looking Your Best for Divorce Court: Clothing and Style

Why It Matters

Looking your best for divorce court is important because our justice system is very old-fashioned. Many judges prefer that everybody in the courtroom wear professional clothing as a sign of respect for the court system itself. Attorneys still are mostly expected to wear suits, ties, or skirts. When dressing for court, wear what you might wear for a professional job interview.

Hair

Looking your best for divorce court means keeping your hairstyle to something non-flamboyant. For women, it’s best to style it in a polished-looking ponytail or down. A messy bun is probably not the most professional-looking style. For men, it’s best to keep a clean-cut look and tame facial hair. You might love rocking a blue-dyed mohawk in your everyday life, but in court, it’s best to tamper your wilder side down.

Clothing

In addition to your hair, your clothing should also be modest when looking your best for divorce court. You won’t be able to enter if you’re swearing sweats, shorts, flip flops, midriff-baring clothing, or clothes with inappropriate slogans. For men, it’s best to wear shoes and socks, dress pants belted at the waist, a button-down shirt tucked in, and a tie. You can choose to wear a jacket if you’d like. For women, a knee-length dress or skirt that covers your chest modestly will work, so will slacks with a classy blouse.

Style

Personal style is so important to represent who you are as a person. But looking your best for divorce court means looking modest, and sometimes that means tampering down your personal style for the day. If you have a lot of piercings, consider taking them out for court. If you prefer clothing with sequins or a lot of sparkles, consider goes with something more muted. In addition, loud or flashy jewelry or very long nails will probably not go over as well as a more clean-cut traditional style. Save your awesome unique sense of style for the outside world. Looking your best for divorce court is important because first impressions matter. The judge could potentially be making decisions that affect the rest of your life and your children’s lives. You want to strike the right chord with them from the outset. Start by wearing a traditional-looking hairstyle and modest clothing. You want to look like you might be heading to a job interview. Your personal style is important for your everyday life, but in court, it’s most important to look polished and professional. Once you walk out of the courtroom you can go back to showing off your own personal style!

Pet Custody: Who Gets the Dog in a Divorce?

Pet custody is a tricky situation that often comes up during divorce proceedings. Pets are loving members of the family for lots of couples. Determining what should happen to them in a divorce can get very complicated. A lot depends on how the pet is owned. There are different types of ownership – marital property and separate property. If one spouse already owned the dog, then it’s somewhat easier to determine. However, if the couple bought the dog jointly, things can get more complicated. Sometimes split custody is the arrangement that everybody agrees on. And finally, if you have children who are close to the dog, it can affect the outcome as well. Divorce is complicated, but hopefully, you will figure out a way to handle the family pet fairly.

Pet Custody: Who Gets the Dog in a Divorce?

Types of Property Ownership

Pet custody often comes down to when and how the family got the pet. In many states, there are two types of property ownership: marital and separate property. Marital property is anything that you both bought together as a couple. It can also include things you bought during your marriage. Separate property includes things that you bring into the marriage. It can also include gifts or things that you inherited during the course of your marriage.

An Animal Owned Before Marriage

If you or your spouse already owned the pet before you got married, pet custody is a little more cut and dry. In this situation, the pet usually goes to its original owner. However, often couples purchase a pet together. In these situations, it can be much more complicated. A judge would look at several factors to determine who gets the pet.

Pets and Children

One of the factors that a judge might look at to determine pet custody is the custody of the children. If children are particularly close to a pet, it can be especially important. Oftentimes, a judge will want what is best for the children. In a time when things are a bit stressful and up in the air, a family pet can keep kids calmer. The pet might go to the parent who spends the most time with the children.

Joint Custody

Another outcome that is less common in pet custody situations is joint custody. This is where a pet would split its time between two spouses. This doesn’t often happen in North Carolina because most judges consider pets as property. However, if a couple jointly decides that this is what they want, they can include it in their separation agreement. They can also decide on visitation. Pet custody can be a complicated and emotional aspect of divorce. Unfortunately, along with the rest of the stress of divorce, people often forget that they’ll have to figure out what happens with their favorite pets. A lot depends on whether the pet is marital or separate property. If one spouse comes into the marriage with the pet, then they usually will get it in a divorce. In contrast, if the spouses buy the pet together it can get much more complicated. If they can agree to joint custody and visitation this can be part of their separation agreement. Otherwise, a judge will decide. Often judges will take the pet’s relationship with the family children into account as well. Hopefully, you’ll be able to come to an agreement that works for everybody and can keep your relationship with your loving pet.

Maintaining Mutual Friendships After Divorce

Maintaining mutual friendships after a divorce is something that oftentimes gets looked over. A divorce can be messy and stressful. Sometimes you forget that there could still be some decisions to make after it’s final. However, forcing friends to choose sides is never good for anybody. It’s really best if you can figure out a way to maintain your mutual friendships. Have a frank conversation with your ex and your friends about how you plan to keep them all in your life. Set ground rules that you and your ex will stick to. And finally, anticipate that there will probably be some friends that pick sides despite your best efforts. Keeping a friendly relationship with your ex is the best way to keep your mutual friends in both of your lives.

Maintaining Mutual Friendships After Divorce: Don’t Make Your Friends Pick Sides

Have a Conversation with Your Ex

Maintaining mutual friendships after divorce is easiest if you and your ex-partner are both on board. Have a discussion about what you want your relationship to look like post-divorce. If you have children together, it really is best if you can maintain at least some level of trust and friendship. If you both feel strongly about sharing with your friends and not forcing them to pick sides, then it is definitely possible to do.

Have a Conversation with Your Friends

Maintaining mutual friendships after divorce also relies on being up-front with your friends. They probably have no idea how to navigate these waters either. They may feel like they’re being pulled to one side or the other. However, if you talk to them honestly about both of your desire to keep them in both of your lives, hopefully, they’ll be understanding.

Set Ground Rules

It’s important to set ground rules for maintaining mutual friendships after divorce. And the most important one of these is: don’t talk badly about your ex. Don’t try to win them over to your side of the divorce. If you are filling their ear with horrible stories about your ex or the other way around, they’ll be forced to pick sides. It also puts them in an awkward spot. It’s really best just to keep your breakup and your relationship with your ex-private.

Anticipate Some Losses

Finally, it’s important to remember that maintaining mutual friendships after divorce just won’t be possible for every one of your friends. Some will pick sides even if you ask them not to. Expect that your ex’s closest friends will probably drop off your radar a bit. And likewise, your closest friends will most likely not be maintaining friendships with your ex. As time goes on and you and your ex get more comfortable with your situation, maybe it will be possible to rekindle some friendships. Especially if you have children. But, it can take time and there may be a point where you’ll have to just cut your losses. Maintaining mutual friendships after divorce can seem difficult, but it is possible. But it’s only doable if you and your ex are on the same page about it. So talk to your ex directly and lay a plan out for maintaining your friendships. Also discuss your plan with your friends, as they probably don’t really know how to navigate these waters any more than you do. Laying some ground rules for everybody will go a long way in maintaining peace. And finally, accept that some relationships will simply not work once your divorce is finalized. It’s ok to let some friendships go. However, hopefully, you and your ex will be able to maintain a friendly relationship and preserve your mutual friends.