With how hard it can be to date again after a divorce, you’ll probably be pretty happy when you find someone you connect with. When things start to get more “serious”, thoughts of remarrying might cross your mind. However, what if you’re unsure about if things will be a repeat of last time? There’s a few things you can do to help ensure this marriage goes how you want…
Remarrying: Making It Work
Understand your baggage
Remarrying without some kind of baggage is basically impossible. Still, that doesn’t mean you should be afraid of that. Rather, it means you should take the time to understand what this baggage is, and why you may have it. Once you do that, then you can ensure it won’t interfere with your new marriage.
For example, say your last marriage ended due to infidelity. This might cause you to be suspicious of your partner if they’re running late or out of town. You could also have trouble trusting them. Eventually, this could cause problems if you don’t confront and move past it.
Be open & vulnerable
Another thing about remarrying is that it’s important to be open to your new partner. It’s understandable to worry about being too vulnerable. Doing so can make you feel exposed, and bring about fears that your partner will take advantage of that openness, potentially like your last one did.
While that openness can be scary, it’s also an important part of any trusting relationship. You and your partner have to both be able to be honest with each other. If you are willing to be vulnerable, they will be as well, and your bond will strengthen overall.
Keep expectations realistic
Remarrying tends comes with extra expectations. Not only do you want this marriage to go well, but you’ll also probably be comparing it to your previous one. Sometimes, these expectations can get a little out of hand, and take a toll on your relationship when things don’t live up to them.
To avoid this, you and your partner should keep those expectations realistic. Try to sit down and talk to each other about some of those key expectations you have. These could be about finances, handling conflicts, raising kids, or anything else you may think of. That way, you can both be on the same page and get your expectations set accordingly.