Divorce Health Issues: Avoiding a Decline

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can affect a lot of areas of your life, even when it’s over. Something you should be especially aware of are divorce health issues. These issues are best addressed early on, which is why it’s crucial to recognize the signs…

Divorce Health Issues: What To Watch

Mental health

Your mental health is one area where divorce health issues can pop up. Divorce tends to cause a lot of stress, as you try to juggle the process itself and the rest of your life. It can also bring about a lot of uncertainty over what your life will be like when the divorce is finished. These can cause pretty high levels of anxiety.

Depression is also a common health issue. Usually, this is due to feeling like a failure after your divorce. It could also be caused by self-esteem issues which arise post-divorce. Seeking out professional help early on can prevent these issues from getting worse.

Weight change

Weight change is also another common divorce health issue. For some, they might find themselves eating too much after their divorce. This is because of how eating “comfort foods”, like their name implies, makes them feel better. However, many of these choices are unhealthy, leading to weight gain.

Other times, a person may not eat enough. They might experience a loss of appetite, and barely eat as much as they should. This can cause them to rapidly lose an unhealthy amount of weight. Ultimately, following a healthy balanced diet can prevent these problems and make you feel better with more energy.

Sleep problems

Many divorce health issues can impact or be related to sleep. Insomnia, for example, tends to be a common issue for many. Others might struggle to sleep consistently through the night, and constantly wake up. A lack of sleep can then lead to issues with one’s mental and physical health.

Too much sleep can also be unhealthy as well. Usually, a desire to sleep constantly can be a sign of depression. Plus, you’ll also prevent yourself from reaching post-divorce goals if you’re sleeping all the time. Avoiding things like caffeine, and going to sleep consistently at proper times can help you get the right amount of sleep.

Individual Therapy: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Before your divorce, you may have tried out couples counseling to address the issues you were facing. However, now that you are divorcing, it may be good to seek out individual therapy. You might be hesitant, based on experiences in the past. But, there are a few benefits you might find by doing so…

Individual Therapy: Potential Benefits

Extra support

When divorcing, a strong support system is very important. For most people, this means leaning on their friends and family. Still, you may need a bit of extra help during this time. That’s one of the potential benefits you can get from individual therapy.

A therapist is able to provide you with professional support that friends or family can’t. This is especially helpful if you’re experiencing some strong negative emotions. A therapist can help you to understand how you feel, and come up with ways to get your mind in a better place.

Honest opinion

Individual therapy can also give you some much-needed honest feedback. While your friends and family may want to help you, they may also give you some biased feedback. This could involve them blaming your spouse for all the things which went wrong, even if that isn’t entirely true. As a result, your own decision making could get influenced in a negative way.

However, a therapist will be able to provide you with honest feedback. They’ll be able to let you know where you may have made mistakes in your marriage as well. While it may be painful, it’ll ultimately be better for you in the long run. Not only will it help clear up your decision making, but it’ll also improve your future relationships.

Help your family

If you have kids, then you’ll know divorce can also be pretty tough on them too. Understandably, you’ll want to help them, but may not know exactly what to do. This is another area where individual therapy can come in handy.

A therapist can help explain what your kids may be feeling during this time. They can also work with you to come up with ways to help them, and protect them from the divorce process. Even if you’re angry at your ex, you’ll be able to ensure your kids remain okay.

Divorce Frustration: Wiping the Slate Clean

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce isn’t always a smooth and stress-free process. This can cause you a lot of divorce frustration. Still, it’s not good to let that frustration get in your way. Rather, you’ll want to take a moment and try to re-focus…

Divorce Frustration: How To Re-Focus

Stop and breathe

Divorce frustration tends to have a bit of a snowball effect. Once something gets you upset, it’ll feel like every other inconvenience will just add onto it. This can leave you feeling immensely frustrated and pretty angry too. This could cause you to act a bit irrationally, which could lead to you making a mistake.

Therefore, when you feel that frustration coming, take a moment to stop and breathe. If you’re able to calm yourself down ahead of time, then you can avoid the massive headache that can come with being frustrated. Plus, being in a calm state of mind helps you see the situation more clearly and pick the best decision.

Consider what you can control

A lot of divorce frustration also comes from things outside of your control. For instance, you might get frustrated at something your ex says or does to you. However, you can’t control how someone will act or what they can say. Instead, you can only control what you do and say.

As a result, don’t get frustrated over things you can’t control. While you can’t control what your ex says or does, you can control how you’ll respond to them. If you respond in a better fashion, you can make them realize their actions won’t get to you. This can help you immensely as the divorce goes on.

Consider a different approach

You can also experience divorce frustration if your view is too narrow. Many people set themselves on something and refuse to change their minds. For example, say you have a specific custody agreement in mind, and your ex disagrees. If you aren’t able to consider different approaches, then you’re going to get frustrated.

On the other hand, if you’re willing to compromise and work with them, you can both avoid frustration. Therefore, don’t be afraid to consider a different perspective. After all, it could be even better than what you had thought of!

Second Marriage Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Getting remarried can be exciting, but for a lot of couples, it’ll end in divorce again. There’s a few different reasons behind second marriage divorce. Knowing the reasons can help you see where most of these second attempts go wrong…

Second Marriage Divorce: Why They Occur

Marrying for the wrong reasons

One common reason for second marriage divorce is when people get married for the wrong reasons. After a divorce, people tend to feel pretty lonely and have low self-esteem. This can make them cling onto the first person who shows them any interest.

A person might do this, despite not knowing this other person all to well. However, due to not wanting to be alone, they may try and rush into a new marriage, thinking they’re in love. Eventually, the reality sets in, and they realize things aren’t going to work out.

Issues from the past

Baggage from the previous marriage is also a common reason for second marriage divorce. Understandably, getting divorced is going to have a bit of an impact. For example, it might make you reluctant to open up to your partner. Or, you might constantly worry that they’re going to cheat on you.

This baggage can make it hard for a second marriage to succeed. If you’re constantly doubting or hiding things from your partner, they’re going to feel like you don’t appreciate or trust them. This can eventually reach the point where another divorce is on the horizon.

Experience from before

Previous divorce experience can make a second marriage divorce more likely to occur. The thing is, if you’ve divorced already, then you know what it’s like. Odds are, you’ve learned some pretty important lessons about what you should or shouldn’t do. This can make the process not that scary anymore.

Therefore, if your new marriage isn’t going how you like, then you won’t be as afraid of divorce like you were in the past. Instead, you know what you need to do and how to get through it in one piece. Rather than being stuck in another bad marriage, you’ll be more willing to cut it off and keep looking.

Coping Post-Divorce: Healthy Outlets

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce tends to be rough for those involved. In fact, it could develop into full-blown depression. Therefore, it’s good to know how to practice healthy coping post-divorce. Doing so can help you really start to turn things around…

Coping Post-Divorce: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Talk it out

One useful way to practice good coping post-divorce is by talking to others. It isn’t healthy to just allow for your thoughts and feelings to stay bottled up. If you do, they’ll just start to get worse and worse over time. Eventually, they’ll boil over and be released in a much more unhealthy way.

Instead, it’s a good idea to try and talk to someone about how you feel. This could involve meeting with a therapist or counselor to work on your emotions. Or, it could just mean talking to a close friend or family. Sometimes, all you need is someone to listen to you.

Express yourself

Another way to engage in some productive coping post-divorce is by expressing yourself. Talking can always be good for getting those feelings out there. But, maybe you feel certain things you can’t describe by just talking. In these cases, it helps to find other ways to express how you feel.

For instance, many people like to try creative writing, such as poems or short stories. Others like to try their hand at painting or photography. If you can find a good way to express your creative side, then it can seriously help with your coping process.

Get active

A lot of people like to include getting active as part of their coping post-divorce process. This is for good reason: exercise has been proven to help people think clearer and feel better. Plus, getting in shape also provides a nice self-esteem boost at a time when you could really use it.

The nice thing about exercise is you have a lot of different options out there as to what you’d like to do. In addition, you can do it practically anywhere. Aside from joining a gym, you can always walk or run outside, or bring the gym to your home! That way, you can find what works for you needs.

Realistic Expectations in Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Expectations can really make or break a marriage. If your expectations are too high, or impossible to live up to, then it can become difficult to adjust to your new way of life. Therefore, it’s important to set up realistic expectations of divorce. Doing so will help you and your partner avoid some constant arguments and issues…

Realistic Expectations in Marriage: Commitment and Struggle

Commitment

Commitment to your marriage is one of the most standard realistic expectations. A marriage is basically like an agreement between you and your partner. Based on your love for each other, you agree to be together and trust you’ll both hold up that end of the agreement. If that commitment is violated, then so is the trust and love that founded the marriage.

Still, it’s important to help reaffirm that trust between the both of you. There’s a couple ways you can do this. Maybe you give your partner verbal affection that makes them confident in your commitment. Or, you do special things with them to show you care. Doing things like these can help show you’re fulfilling that expectation.

Open communication

Healthy communication is also another of the realistic expectations you should have. Couples should be able to talk to each other openly and honestly. A marriage where partners lie to each other and are scared to be honest isn’t a healthy one. Eventually, this will cause things to get worse over time.

Rather, you both should be able to have good, honest discussions. That’s especially true for when you disagree. Instead of getting right into an argument, listen to and respect what each of you have to say. That way, you can work together on a solution that works.

Spending time with each other

Being with one another seems like a pretty straightforward matter. However, this is one of the realistic expectations couples struggle with. It’s always important to spend some quality time with your partner. Still, you also have to accept there will be times you aren’t together either.

Both of you have other important people in your lives, like family and friends. Therefore, it makes sense you’d like to also spend time with them. Both you and your partner should respect that, and even encourage it. As long as you spend plenty of time together too, then it shouldn’t be an issue.

Marriage Misconceptions: Healthy Relationships

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You can trace many common divorce reasons back to common marriage misconceptions. Everyone enters a marriage with an idea of how it should be. However, these myths can end up putting you on a fast-track towards divorce…

Marriage Misconceptions: Keeping it Healthy

“Good marriages don’t need work”

One of the common marriage misconceptions is thinking marriages don’t require work. We all like to imagine that things will just work between you and your spouse. After all, everyone wants that “happy-ever-after” relationship. The thing is, though, is that those don’t happen overnight.

The fact is that your marriage is going to need some work. You and your partner might get along fine now. But, there’ll still be things you have to deal with and learn from together. Investing that time in now will help ensure things last into the future.

“My partner should know how I feel”

Another of the common marriage misconceptions are partners thinking the other should know how they feel at all times. Instead of telling their partner how they feel, they think their partner shouldn’t need to be told. As a result, this tends to lead to a whole host of communication issues and arguments.

Communication is crucial for any good relationship. Remember: you and your partner aren’t mind readers. You’re not going to know how the other feels or thinks all the time. That’s why it’s important to let each other know if something is wrong, so you can work together on a solution.

“We should never argue”

Arguments are another source of common marriage misconceptions. A lot of people will think that they should never have any kind of arguments in their marriage. If they do argue, then it means that their marriage isn’t going to last and there’s some kind of issue between the both of them.

The thing is, arguments are going to happen. That’s a natural part of any relationship. However, what matters is how often these arguments are, and what they’re about. If they happen all the time, and over trivial things, then it could be an issue. If not, then it’s something you can settle with each other in a healthy way.

Credit Cards During Divorce: Their Impact

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how expensive divorce is, you don’t want to add more costs than you need to. That means you should be careful with your credit cards during divorce. While they can be useful, you also need to make sure they don’t hurt your finances in the process…

Credit Cards During Divorce

Watch your accounts

Before using any credit cards during divorce, you should first make sure the accounts are secure. Many couples like to open up joint accounts, or joint cards. While that might’ve been fine before, it could now be an issue. After all, you don’t want to be accountable for debt that isn’t yours.

If you have a joint account, then you can try to see if you can make it into a sole account. Still, it may just be safer to have the account closed, and then open up a new one. You don’t want a vindictive ex trying to access a joint account and try to hurt you financially.

Use them sparingly

Another good idea is the use credit cards during divorce in a sparring manner. It can be tempting to use them due to the more-flexible payment schedule. However, you might be setting yourself for a big debt issue. Instead, try to limit when you use them.

A good idea is to use them for things you’d have to buy anyways. For example, that may include things like gas or groceries. That way, not only do you keep your payments low, but you can also work on boosting your credit score at the same time.

Make payments on time

Be sure you make your payments on time when using credit cards during divorce. Late payments will mean late fees, and an increase on your interest rate. Eventually, if you fall behind on a lot of payments, your credit score is going to take a serious hit.

It might be helpful to set up automated payments for your credit card bills. Many banks will let you set it up so your payments can be made every month on time. That way, you’ll have one less thing to worry about.

New Year Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You might not feel all that excited entering a new year after a divorce. However, a new year post-divorce doesn’t have to be something which gets you down. Rather, there are some things you can do to make this year something to look forward too…

New Year Post-Divorce: Making Big Changes

Reflect on your ex

Most people would hope to leave behind their ex in a new year post-divorce. Still, it would be good to take some time and reflect on them. It’s somewhat common for people to have an idealized version of their ex. Even after the divorce, they might start to think about if things were “really that bad”.

That’s why it helps to reflect on them now. Really think about how they acted and what caused you to want to leave. Even those little things which got under your skin help you realize who they really were. Once you do this, you can be glad you won’t have to deal with it again.

Set new goals

A new year post-divorce also comes with new freedoms. At this point, you get to call the shots again for your life. You won’t have to worry about someone telling you what you can or can’t do. Rather, you can finally start doing things you want to do again.

This is a perfect time to set some new goals to achieve. For instance, maybe you set a goal to go back to school and get more education for a better job. Or, maybe you want to try and improve your skills in a hobby you like. Goals like these will be a great source of motivation for you in the new year.

Reinvent yourself

Starting a new year post-divorce can be great for reinventing yourself. Again, that new freedom allows for you to become the person you want to be. That means you can change things up. Maybe you get a new wardrobe, a new haircut, or even go for tattoos and piercings! It’s really up to you.

By taking these steps, you can also begin to really appreciate yourself again. It can be tough to feel all that great after a divorce. However, if you really begin to take steps to improve yourself, you’ll soon find you have a lot to be excited about.

Negative Divorce Behavior

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can leave you stressed and confused, even if it’s amicable. This can potentially cause you to engage in some negative divorce behavior. Avoiding this behavior is crucial for getting through your divorce as smoothly as possible…

Negative Divorce Behavior: Avoiding Nasty Habits

Refusing to talk

Communication problems are an example of negative divorce behavior which can really set you back. Understandably, if you feel hurt because of the divorce, you might not want to talk to your ex all that much. This is especially true if things ended on very negative terms. However, this can end up making things difficult for you.

Being able to communicate with your ex means you can both work on the divorce outcome. You can come to an agreement which works for you both much easier when you can communicate. Still, you might not be up for face-to-face meetings yet. In that case, you can use things like email or phone calls to get the job done.

Place unfair blame

Playing the “blame game” is also another type of negative divorce behavior to avoid. The problem with placing blame is that it’s a very natural response to divorce. After all, it’s easy to say that your ex is behind all the reasons why things didn’t work out. Still, this is going to have some negative side-effects for you and your divorce.

For starters, it’s going to make it hard for your ex to want to talk to you if you blame them all the time. Also, it means you aren’t reflecting on what you might have done yourself that contributed to the divorce. Remember, a marriage is a two-person matter; both of you need to be able to reflect and learn from what’s happened.

Rushing to move on

You probably want to move on from your divorce as soon as you can. However, you have to be careful not to rush too quickly. Trying to rush to get through everything is a form of negative divorce behavior that many people tend to struggle with.

For instance, they might try and rush through the divorce, which usually leaves them without the outcome they wanted. Sometimes, they might rush into dating again too soon, in an effort to replace the loneliness they feel. Instead, it’s much better to take your time and handle things right, rather than by rushing.