Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Running into your ex after a divorce might be an experience you’re absolutely dreading. If you and your ex parted ways in a bitter divorce battle, the thought of running into them might have you sweating. But unfortunately, if you live in the same area, the chances are high that you’ll see them at some point. If you have children together, it’s even more likely that you’ll see them at events for your kids. Establish boundaries at the outset of your divorce. Keep living your life though – don’t avoid places you enjoy just because your ex might be there. If you do see them, try not to make a scene or get into an argument. Remember, taking the high road is almost always the best policy. Hopefully, you and your ex will learn to co-exist peacefully in the same city and you won’t fear running into them forever.

Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Establish Boundaries

Running into your ex after a divorce can be a bit of a shock if you see them unexpectedly. However, you can establish boundaries with them during the divorce itself. If there are certain classes you take together, or activities you both participate in, you can figure out whether or not to continue these. If you do not want to see each other, you can establish that early. You can handle children’s events the same way. If you’d rather not run into them, plan to divvy up events so that you don’t overlap with each other.

Keep Living Your Life

After running into your ex after a divorce, you might be tempted to avoid that place where you saw them. But really, it’s possible to run into them anywhere. If you avoid every place you think that they might show up, you’ll end up limiting your own happiness. Keep living your life. If you run into them, you run into them. Avoiding places you enjoy will just make you unhappy in the end, and gives them all the power that you fought hard for.

Don’t Make a Scene

If the dreaded event occurs, try not to make a scene. Running into your ex after a divorce might be a shock to the system. But making a public scene is really not the solution. You’ve already hashed out your divorce, so arguing after the fact will get you nowhere. You two got divorced for a reason, it’s unlikely that you’ll change their minds about anything or that they’ll change yours.

Take the High Road

Running into your ex after a divorce can happen anytime. And it’s possible that you’ll also meet their new partner or they’ll meet your new partner. It’s always best to take the high road. Try to speak with confidence and don’t stoop to arguing with them or acting bitter. The happier you seem after your divorce, the more they’ll realize what a great catch you were that they let go. Act politely, calmly, and with confidence, and keep the encounter short. Running into your ex after a divorce is just one of many painful milestones that you probably will face during a separation. However, living in fear of it will only make you unhappy. Don’t avoid places where you think you might run into your ex because then you’ll just be limiting your own freedom. You can set boundaries at the outset of your divorce so that you know you won’t run into them any more than is needed. If it does happen, try to remain calm and speak with confidence. Don’t make a public scene or try to get into an argument over your divorce. Take the high road and show that you have moved on maturely. Hopefully, you won’t run into them often, but when you do you’ll be able to handle it with confidence and grace.

New Partner Introductions: When It’s Appropriate

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you decide to try and date after your divorce, it can be pretty exciting when you find someone you really connect with. However, if you have kids, then you might be worried about making those new partner introductions. Having your partner meet your kids can be a bit nerve-wracking. That’s why you’ll want to make sure you help things go as smoothly as possible…

New Partner Introductions: Proper Setup

Decide a time

It’s important to decide an appropriate time to make new partner introductions. Mainly, you want to make sure you’re serious about your relationship. That means things are stable and well-established between you and your partner. Doing introductions too soon could cause your kids to develop attachments to partners who won’t be there for long.

Make sure you also handle these meetings during your parenting time. You don’t want to make these introductions while your ex is watching the kids. Not only will this confuse the kids, but it’ll also create tension between you and your ex.

Temper expectations

You’ll also want to temper your expectations for new partner introductions. Many parents want to make their partner’s first impressions go off without any issue. As a result, they place a lot of pressure on themselves and set high expectations. If those expectations aren’t reached, then they’ll feel like the whole thing was a failure.

The thing is, first impressions are rarely ever perfect, and this is no different. Things may be a bit awkward for your partner and kids, but that’s okay. This is just the first step in creating a relationship between them. Keep your expectations realistic and remember there will be more chances down the line to build a strong relationship.

Consider an activity

Something which can help break the ice during new partner introductions is when you do something together. Just bringing in your new partner and having a more-formal sit down can be awkward for everyone. Instead, doing some kind of activity can help everyone relax and make a good impression.

For example, you could decide to watch your kid’s favorite movie of show together. Or you could play on of their favorite games with them. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s something your kids enjoy and that you participate, so you can help both your partner and your kids feel a bit more at-ease.

Anxious Teen: Co-Parenting Woes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Going through a divorce as a parent can be tough. After all, you don’t want to make things harder for your kids, especially if you have an anxious teen. With how tough being a teenager can be, it’s good for you and your ex to keep these key things in mind when co-parenting…

Anxious Teen: How To Help

Have clear boundaries

During this time, an anxious teen is going to need your support more than ever. Even if they appear to be distant, they still want to have your love and spend time with you. Still, you need to make sure that you have good boundaries because of this.

Mainly, you want to avoid talking about things related to their other parent with them. Don’t use them as a source for venting your frustrations. This will just make them more anxious, especially when they’re with their other parent. Instead, focus on what you can do together to improve your bond.

Set a good example

It’s important that you set a good example for your anxious teen. Studies have shown that teens are very much influenced by how their parents act. For instance, children of parents who tend to fight and argue a lot tends to have higher rates of anxiety and depression.

On the other hand, children of positive and supportive parents are much happier and recover from a divorce faster. This is a time where your teen is going to be trying to figure out who exactly they are. By being a good role model, you’ll help them find some positive answers to those questions.

Encourage co-parent connection

If you feel pretty poorly towards your ex, then you may be wary about letting your anxious teen spend time with them. However, this can result in your teen feeling “alienated” towards their other parent. Not only will this harm their relationship with their parent, but it’ll also cause conflict between you and your ex.

Your child needs to get support from both you and their other parent. At this point in their lives, they need to know that their parents still love them. Therefore, encourage your teen to spend time with their other parent, even on days where they may say they “aren’t in the mood.” They’ll quickly realize how important this time is.

Staying Friends with Your Ex: Post Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Not all divorces have to end poorly. It is possible to stay friends with your ex after a divorce. This may not be an immediate instant thing, but it is possible. However, you have many memories and experiences together, and know each other in a way that nobody else does. Just because you are no longer a romantic couple doesn’t mean you have to lose the great friendship you once had. This may be easier for some parties than others, and impossible for some all together.

Staying Friends with Your Ex: Tips

Time

The first key to staying friends with your ex is time. Divorce is never easy, no matter who initiated it. You may need time to heal and forgive. Give yourself time to work through your feelings. This could range from anger, sadness, denial, disgust, self-pity, or relief. It is important to take the time to grieve the loss of the relationship. Do not be afraid to cry. Have a girls night, or talk with someone about the feelings you are having.

Move Slowly

Do not expect it to be a quick process when trying to stay friends with your ex. Just because you want to be friends does not mean that relationship has to start as soon as the divorce papers are signed. You have to move at a pace that is right for both you and your partner. Remember, there was a reason that one of you broke things off in the first place.

If you are co-parenting, there is the chance for a family together to allow the new friendship to develop. For example, you could schedule family activities together like game night or weekly dinner together. Just take baby steps.

No Intimacy

Intimacy could complicate things. Just because you are wanting to stay friends with your ex does not open the door for intimacy. Do not let yourself fall into the trap that it is okay because you have done it before when you were married. The hormone that is released from intimacy is called oxytocin, and connects you to someone on a deep, emotional level. This could make things complicated, and lead you down a path that you do not want to go down. If you want to just be friends, and not friends with benefits, with your ex, stay away from intimacy.

Build Trust

After everything that happened before and during the divorce, it may feel difficult to trust one another. However, trust is an important part to becoming friends with your ex. A good place to start rebuilding trust is to follow through on what you say you will do. You should also tell the truth, keep your promises, and not bad mouth your ex to other people.

While staying friends with your ex may seem like a lofty goal, it is certainly possible by just following these steps. Remember, it will take time and may be a slow process, but work on building trust and a friendship may come in time.

Finding the Right Moment to Bring Up Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Finding the right moment to bring up divorce can mean the difference between getting an honest and thoughtful response from your partner or getting into a massive argument. Divorce is a bell that you cannot un-ring, so you should never just threaten it during a fight. Instead, you should put thought and time into your decision to even broach the subject, and feel confident that this is something you want to bring up with your spouse. The dynamic of your relationship might change after the conversation, even if you wind up staying together. Make sure you find the right setting so that you can have an open and vulnerable conversation. Start things off on the right foot by explaining where you are coming from and that you’ve put a lot of thought into this. Finally, be prepared for many different reactions. You might need to be patient and let your spouse think about the things you’ve said for a while and process. Hopefully, you both will wind up on the same page as far as the future of your relationship goes.

Finding the Right Moment to Bring Up Divorce: Planning Ahead

Not During a Fight

When finding the right moment to bring up divorce with your spouse, the most important thing to remember is not to do it during a fight. Throwing around divorce when you are extremely upset will make it seem like an idle threat, and can be very harmful to your relationship. Your partner might not realize that you are serious about your intentions, and it might come across as if you haven’t put any thought into it. Threatening divorce during fights can weaken your partner’s trust in you and can eventually cause damage to your marriage.

Right Setting

Finding the right moment to bring up divorce also means finding the right setting. You definitely don’t want to be overheard having this conversation, so choose someplace private. Your partner might also react emotionally, so make sure that you are alone together and not where others might see. Make sure that you and your spouse have plenty of uninterrupted time to discuss things, so make any childcare arrangements you need to to ensure that young ears aren’t overhearing you.

How to Begin the Conversation

Begin the conversation by letting them know that this isn’t a decision that you take lightly. Explain where you are coming from and the steps that you are taking to try to resolve issues with them before suggesting divorce. It can be helpful to let them know your thoughts, and then explain that you’d like to know how they are feeling about your relationship’s future as well. You might both be on the same page, or this might come as a shock to them. Be open to discussing things like marital counseling or a trial separation if they seem very reluctant to consider divorce.

Anticipating Possible Reactions

Finally, after finding the right moment to bring up divorce, you’ll need to give your partner some space to process the conversation. They might react in many different ways. They might become upset, cry, express anger, disbelief, hurt, or many other emotions. Try not to get defensive, and instead, let them know that you will be patient and give them time to think about your conversation. If things feel like they are heading towards an argument, excuse yourself from the conversation altogether and ask that you revisit things when you both have had time to think.

If you and your partner are on rocky ground and you are no longer happy in your marriage, it might be time to look at separating and moving down different paths in life. However, finding the right moment to bring up divorce can be difficult. You always want to ensure that your partner realizes this is something that you are giving a lot of thought to. So don’t bring up the topic during a fight or throw it around idly as a threat during arguments. Instead, find a quiet and private setting and make sure that you have plenty of uninterrupted time to discuss things. Let your partner know how much thought you are giving the idea of divorce, and tell them the reasons why you feel it’s the best option. Give them space to process their feelings and anticipate that they might have a lot of emotional reactions. If the conversation is devolving into an argument and doesn’t feel like it will be productive, give them space to think things over and revisit the conversation when you are both calmer. Hopefully, you both will be on the same page when it comes to your future and can move forward with an amicable divorce or can work on rebuilding your relationship back stronger than ever together.

Managing Unsupportive Family During Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Dealing with unsupportive family during divorce can be frustrating. A divorce is one of the most stressful things a person can go through. But unfortunately for many, their family isn’t as supportive as they would hope. It might be that family members don’t approve of the concept of divorce. Or it could be that they simply don’t know the intimate details of your relationship and why it didn’t work out. You can try to convince them if you want, but ultimately, it’s not your issue. It’s theirs. You might just need to accept that they won’t be emotionally supportive and ask for their help in other ways. Then, you can find your own support system. Hopefully, you can get the encouragement and peace of mind from friends or support groups to help you get through this difficult period.

Managing Unsupportive Family During Divorce: Finding Your Support Network

Try to Find Out Why

If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, there might be several reasons why. It could be that they just disagree with the notion of divorce at all. Or it could just be that they don’t know what went on in your relationship. It’s not really your job to explain the intimate details of your life to everybody. However, if you are wanting them to better understand the situation, you can share what you feel comfortable with.

Accept That It’s Not Your Issue

Whether you’ve shared the details of why you’re divorcing or not, the fact of the matter is that this is a decision that is yours alone to make. If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, you might just have to accept that they aren’t going to change their attitudes. It’s not your issue, it’s theirs. You have to respect your own emotional boundaries. And it’s not your job to convince anybody.

Ask Them to Help Where They Can

Unsupportive family during divorce can be hurtful and painful to deal with. You probably won’t get the emotional support or sympathy that you need from them. However, you can ask that they still help you in other ways. For example, if you need financial assistance, housing assistance, or help with childcare. Just know that you’ll need to find your emotional support elsewhere.

Find Your Own Network

If family isn’t being helpful, you can build your own support network. Often, friends are more helpful during divorce than family anyway. They often know more details of your relationship and why you chose to end the marriage. You can also try local support groups to find other people who are experiencing similar emotions. If you are struggling, speak with a therapist.

If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, it can really affect your trust. You expect your family to support you no matter what. However, it’s not uncommon for people going through divorce to have to turn elsewhere for emotional support. Whether it’s a moral issue with divorce itself or they simply don’t know the story, it’s not up to you to convince them. Instead, ask for help where you can but know that you’ll need to find a sympathetic ear elsewhere. Built a support network around yourself through friends or support groups. Hopefully, they’ll be able to give you all the help you need to get through this difficult chapter and begin looking forward to the next.

Giving Yourself Permission for a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Sometimes, giving yourself permission for a divorce is harder than you might think. We often feel pressure to stay in relationships that don’t work out just for the sake of appearances. But letting go of your preconceived notions and allowing yourself the freedom to make the decision is important. It’s okay to listen to the input of others, but ultimately, the decision needs to be yours alone. Furthermore, if you have family members that are not supportive, you’ll need to establish some healthy boundaries. While it can be intimidating, there are many positives on the other side of divorce. For example, you are getting out of a negative relationship, freeing yourself up to focus on your own priorities, and getting to strike out on a new path that will hopefully make you happier.

Giving Yourself Permission for a Divorce: Letting Go of Preconceived Notions

Why It’s Difficult

Giving yourself permission for a divorce can be more difficult than you might think because we often have so many preconceived notions of what marriage should look like. There is societal pressure to make your relationship work out. While the stigma of divorce is lessening, you still might face awkward questions from friends and family. Sometimes, letting go of the future that you imagined for yourself can be incredibly hard, even if things aren’t working well. So sometimes, giving yourself that freedom to pursue a divorce is the hardest step of the whole process.

Making The Decision Yours Alone

Your friends and family will likely have some strong ideas about your marriage, but giving yourself permission for a divorce is your decision alone. Try not to let others influence you, because they don’t really know the ins and outs of your relationship. Nobody knows what’s going on behind closed doors. If you are considering pursuing a divorce, you need to sit down and weigh your options without input from others first.

Fighting Stigma

You might also face some stigma or judgement from friends and family members. Especially older family members that might be from a generation where divorce was not common. Again though, your decisions are yours to make. If your friends or family are not respecting your decision, then you’ll need to set some boundaries with them. For example, “I don’t want to discuss the divorce with you at this time. If you can’t be respectful of that decision, then we need to take some time apart.”

The Positives

While giving yourself permission for a divorce can feel scary, there are actually a lot of positives to making the decision. You are prioritizing your happiness, and you can now focus on the things that you want to focus on. For example, now is the time to pursue hobbies or friendships that you have neglected. It’s also a great time to really work on your self-confidence and self-care. Furthermore, if you have children, you are showing that it’s okay to step away from a relationship if it isn’t the right fit. Getting through the formality of the divorce is a long process, but on the other side of it, you will hopefully feel relief and at peace with your decision.

Considering divorce is a big deal, and it’s something that can weigh heavily on you. If you are waffling back and forth, sometimes, giving yourself permission for a divorce can be the hardest step to take. But once you do decide, you’ll have a clear path moving forward for what you need to do next. Let go of your preconceived notions, or any pressure you feel to keep a relationship going just for the sake of appearances. It’s hard to let go of the future that you’ve always imagined with your partner. But if your relationship isn’t bringing you happiness, that future is lost anyway. Make the decision on your own, without worrying about judgement from friends and family. If they are unsupportive of your decision, you might need to set some boundaries or even take a break from interacting with them until the dust settles. While it’s scary, the positives are that you can now follow your own path and prioritize your own needs. Plus, you can model healthy relationship-seeking for your children, and maybe even meet somebody new that is a better fit for you and can give you the future you’ve always wanted.

Red Flags to Watch for in Your Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Knowing the red flags to watch for in your marriage can help you make sure that you aren’t missing warning signs that things aren’t going smoothly. Sometimes, it’s hard to recognize when a marriage is on the rocks until it’s too late. We often get in a rut, and don’t realize how much time passes without things improving. If you are feeling a little stuck, make sure that you and your partner aren’t displaying any of the below warning signs. For example, if there is a lot of unhealthy conflict, or even more concerning, aggression. Additionally, resentment can tear away at a marriage. This can often arise from feeling like the relationship is one-sided. Finally, if you feel like your partner is lying to you or hiding things, it can be a definite warning sign that you two need to really examine your relationship. Hopefully, if you find any of these red flags, you can take precautions to help get your marriage back on track or have a healthy conversation about divorce.

Red Flags to Watch for in Your Marriage: Warning Signs that Things are Going South

Unhealthy Conflict

One of the main red flags to watch for in your marriage is unhealthy conflict. Every couple has disagreements from time to time. However, if huge arguments are becoming the norm in your life, it might be time to really examine your relationship. Furthermore, your arguments shouldn’t involve a lot of shouting, name-calling, or aggression. If this is the case, it’s important to speak to a marriage counselor or somebody that can help you learn to deal with conflict in a healthy way.

Resentment

Another of the red flags to watch for in your marriage is resentment. Resentment often builds and builds and builds until one partner explodes and takes the other by surprise with a year’s worth of complaints. Instead, make sure that you are both checking in with each other periodically to make sure that you both feel that you’re being treated equally in the relationship.

Lack of Effort

Feeling of resentment often arise because one parter feels like they are contributing a lot more effort to the relationship than the other. Or they feel that their partner is not supporting them very well emotionally. A lot of these types of feelings can come up with things like household responsibilities, childcare responsibilities, or mental work is not equally divided. Make sure that you work together to figure out the things that need to be done and divvy up tasks equally.

Deception

Finally, another important one of the red flags to watch for in your marriage is deception. If you feel like your partner is lying to you or hiding things, it might be an indication that you need to have a serious conversation. Similarly, if you are feeling like you need to hide things from your partner, it’s a warning sign. For example, this might include things like texting or flirting with a coworker, hiding financial trouble, or covering up how much you are drinking. All of these things can lead to significant cracks in your marriage.

The red flags to watch for in your marriage will be slightly different for every couple. However, in general, it’s important to make sure that you both are continuing to show up for one another and discuss your relationship. If it feels like conflict is becoming the norm, or your fights devolve into aggressive or unhealthy places, it might be trouble. Additionally, failing to divide up household responsibilities can quickly lead to resentment, as can a one-sided relationship. Make sure that you are both putting equal effort into keeping your relationship strong. Finally, if you or your partner are hiding things or lying, it’s a definite warning sign that there is something wrong with the relationship. If you notice any of these things, it’s helpful to get professional help from somebody like a marriage counselor. They can help you navigate difficult conversations, and help you figure out if you both are wanting to recommit to the marriage or consider alternatives like divorce. Hopefully, you can both come to an agreement and move forward peacefully with whichever you choose.

Where to Meet Somebody After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be scary to start thinking about how and where to meet somebody after divorce. Especially if you’ve been in a relationship for years. Dipping your toes back into the dating pool can be a little intimidating, so try to take things at your own speed. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of time to heal from your divorce before trying to get back into dating. However, when you’re ready, dating apps are a great place to start. It’s also great to ask friends if they know of anybody that might be a good match. You can always meet people out and about if you have a great attitude. And finally, meetup groups and group activities are a great way to meet new people, including new potential partners. Take your time, and try to enjoy the dating game.

Where to Meet Somebody After Divorce: Getting Back into the Dating Pool

Dating Apps

Dating apps are one of the best places to start when looking to meet somebody after divorce. There are plenty of different types of dating apps available. Some are free and some require an up-front or monthly fee. There are dating apps for divorcees specifically, as well as older adults or adults with certain interests. Just make sure to practice safe dating practices when meeting somebody new and meet in a public place. Let a friend know exactly where you are going to meet, and send them your date’s contact information. Make sure they check in on you if you do not text them that you’re safely home after the date. You can also share your location with them for added safety.

Ask a Friend

Another great way to meet somebody after divorce is to ask your friends to set you up. Ask them if they have any single friends that might be a good match. You also have the added bonus that you know a little bit about the person up front. You can also meet in a low-stakes situation, like a group hangout or backyard BBQ, rather than a blind date. Having your friends pre-vet your date can help ensure that it’s somebody safe and that you won’t face any cat-fishing type surprises when you show up for your date.

Out and About

Don’t forget about the potential to meet somebody new after divorce when you are just out and about during your day. Try to smile at people, and be outgoing and social. Start up a conversation with the cutie next to you in line at the coffee shop. Or chat about your pups with somebody you meet at the dog park. You never know where you might meet somebody new, but being friendly and outgoing is a great way to start.

Meetup Groups

Finally, meetup groups are another place to meet somebody after divorce. There are meetup groups for tons of different activities, like sports or hobbies. You could try intramural sports or an exercise class. You could also try a local art class, or take a tour of a museum. Find something that interests you, like rock climbing, and sign up to take a class or find a meetup group. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests as well as potential partners. There are also specific meetup groups for divorcees looking to connect with new friends.

Getting back into the dating pool after divorce can feel a little scary. It’s important to make sure that you’ve given yourself plenty of time to process your divorce and emotionally heal. Don’t compare your healing journey to anybody else’s or feel pressured to move on quicker than you feel comfortable with. Once you are ready to date again, it can be hard to know where to even meet somebody after divorce. There are tons of dating apps, and even ones specifically for divorcees. You can also ask your friends to set you up with singles they know. Try to be friendly and approachable in your day to day life by smiling and being kind. And finally, try local meetup groups for hobbies or interests that you are excited about. You might make some new friends, but you also might meet somebody that you spark a connection with. You never know when you’ll meet somebody, but having an open and confident attitude is a great place to start.

What to Wear to Divorce Court: Dress for Success

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When preparing for divorce court there is so much to do. You’ll have meetings with your attorney and have tons of legal paperwork to prep. But sometimes people forget to prepare what they’re going to wear to divorce court. First impressions are important, and some judges are more conservative than others. It’s best to play it safe and dress as if you were going for a job interview. Here are some tips to help you look prepared!

What to Wear to Divorce Court: First Impressions Matter

Clothing for Men

When deciding what to wear to divorce court, business attire is best. Wear long slacks with a belt and shoes with matching socks. Also, a collared shirt with a tie should be work. You can choose to wear a jacket or not. However, it’s always a good idea to have one in case the courtroom is cold. Shorts are never allowed, and you should not wear jeans. Ditch the hat as well, and make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too baggy.

Clothing for Women

Business attire is also what women should wear to divorce court. A business suit isn’t necessary, but you should wear dress slacks or a skirt. Make sure a skirt goes to your knees or longer. A nice blouse or even a conservative dress would work well. Make sure that nothing is too low-cut or revealing. Also, make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too tight. Leave the flashy sequins at home and opt for a more neutral outfit. You could be in divorce court for a long time, so bringing a sweater or light jacket is a good idea. You don’t necessarily need to wear heels, but stay away from tennis shoes or flip flops.

Accessories

The main goal in choosing what to wear to divorce court is to keep things neutral and non-attention grabbing. Try not to wear flashy accessories. If you have a lot of piercings, it might be best to remove some while you go to court. Cover up tattoos as well. Men and women should have clean, neat hair in a polished and neutral style. Also, now is possibly not the best time for very long acrylic nails or blue hair. Finally, keep makeup subtle and unobtrusive. The more conservative you can look, the better.

Having your own sense of style is great! Flashy accessories and dyed hair might be how you express yourself. That’s perfectly fine, but in divorce court, you might be more successful if you tone down your natural flair. Everything you wear to divorce court should be modest and polished. You want to look clean, neat, and dependable. Although you may want to show off your flashy side, you’ll probably benefit in the long run by playing by the court’s rules.