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Co-Parenting Positivity

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Going through a divorce is pretty tough, especially if you have to transition into being a co-parent. This can make it hard to feel optimistic about the future. However, it’s key that you try and focus on some co-parenting positivity. Having a positive outlook will help make your experience a lot easier…

 Co-Parenting Positivity: Keep Optimistic

Consider what you’re thankful for

A great way to create some co-parenting positivity is by considering all the things you’re thankful for. It’s easy to focus on all the negatives after a divorce. While you didn’t plan for this situation, there’s still plenty of things you can appreciate.

For instance, you can be thankful that your kids are healthy and that you can still be a parent to them. You can also be grateful for the new opportunities you have following your divorce. When you feel down, take some time to reflect on what’s going good for you. This is a great way to avoid having negativity get into your co-parenting.

Take care of yourself

Keeping healthy is also another good way to maintain some co-parenting positivity. When we feel bad physically, we also tend to feel bad mentally. This can then make it harder for you to co-parent as well as you may like. Getting into some healthy habits can be handy for avoiding this.

Simple things like eating healthier and drinking more water can go a long way in improving your mood. Exercising and getting plenty of sleep will also do the same. You may wonder how this will help you co-parent. However, being well-rested and energized really helps you keep a positive attitude and clear mind.

Talk about what’s important

Communication is always important for any co-parenting plan. Still, what you talk about can be important for your co-parenting positivity. Talking about things unrelated to your kids, especially about your personal life, can quickly put you into a sour mood.

To avoid this, it helps to focus your talks solely on your kids. Keep your conversations brief, with the main topic being about how the kids are doing. After all, you both view your kids as important. Keeping your talks centered around them can help you feel positive and avoid arguments.

COVID Divorce: Questions To Ask

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many couples have put off their divorce plans until after things settle down. In fact, you may be at the point where you’re also considering getting a divorce. Going through with a COVID divorce isn’t an easy decision to make. Therefore, it helps to ask yourself some key questions beforehand…

COVID Divorce: Is It Right For You?

“Is COVID causing your problems?”

When a COVID divorce crosses your mind, you need to consider what exactly the issues are that you’re dealing with. These are stressful times for everyone, and many people have been impacted even if they don’t get sick. Several couples are dealing with not being able to work, which creates a lot of financial stress.

As a result, consider if the issues you’re facing now are because of COVID itself. Do you expect that things will return to normal for your marriage when the situation clears up? If so, step back and consider that maybe it’s just the stress of what’s going on which is getting to you, and how you can better address it.

“Are these pre-existing problems?”

The COVID pandemic has also led couples to consider what problems their relationship has had for a while. In fact, it’s possible that your life beforehand didn’t let you address them properly. For instance, maybe you were both so busy with working all the time. Due to this, you never had time to talk about what was going on.

Now that you have this time, these issues are probably more noticeable. This could be causing you to consider a COVID divorce. First, try and see if you can talk about these problems properly and work towards some changes. This time could be useful for seeing what changes will help your relationship for the better!

“What’s my plan?”

Maybe you’re completely set on a COVID divorce. At this point, you don’t think that you can fix things with your spouse. Still, you won’t want to just try and start a divorce right away. During these times, it’s important that you have a plan in mind.

It’s good to make sure that you’ll have a place to stay and a good source of income before starting your divorce. You should also try and get some important documents together ahead of time. Remember that you won’t want to rush; doing so will just make things trickier for you!

Anxious Teen: Co-Parenting Woes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Going through a divorce as a parent can be tough. After all, you don’t want to make things harder for your kids, especially if you have an anxious teen. With how tough being a teenager can be, it’s good for you and your ex to keep these key things in mind when co-parenting…

Anxious Teen: How To Help

Have clear boundaries

During this time, an anxious teen is going to need your support more than ever. Even if they appear to be distant, they still want to have your love and spend time with you. Still, you need to make sure that you have good boundaries because of this.

Mainly, you want to avoid talking about things related to their other parent with them. Don’t use them as a source for venting your frustrations. This will just make them more anxious, especially when they’re with their other parent. Instead, focus on what you can do together to improve your bond.

Set a good example

It’s important that you set a good example for your anxious teen. Studies have shown that teens are very much influenced by how their parents act. For instance, children of parents who tend to fight and argue a lot tends to have higher rates of anxiety and depression.

On the other hand, children of positive and supportive parents are much happier and recover from a divorce faster. This is a time where your teen is going to be trying to figure out who exactly they are. By being a good role model, you’ll help them find some positive answers to those questions.

Encourage co-parent connection

If you feel pretty poorly towards your ex, then you may be wary about letting your anxious teen spend time with them. However, this can result in your teen feeling “alienated” towards their other parent. Not only will this harm their relationship with their parent, but it’ll also cause conflict between you and your ex.

Your child needs to get support from both you and their other parent. At this point in their lives, they need to know that their parents still love them. Therefore, encourage your teen to spend time with their other parent, even on days where they may say they “aren’t in the mood.” They’ll quickly realize how important this time is.

Keep Positive During Divorce: Finding Joy

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce tends to shake up a person’s life in many different ways. As a result, it can be hard to keep positive during divorce. However, practicing a few key things can help you keep a positive mindset…

Keep Positive During Divorce: Steps To Take

Embrace some stability

It can be easy to feel like things are slipping out of your control when divorcing. When everything seems to be changing, you’ll want to embrace the things which remain stable. Doing so is important if you want to keep positive during divorce.

For instance, if you’ll be keeping the home, you don’t need to make a ton of changes all at once. Even if you need to move, you can find somewhere close rather than move far away. Plus, remember that you don’t need to jump into new commitments like dating until you feel ready. Instead, try to take this time reorganize and begin adjusting to what life will be like post-divorce.

Accept help from others

If you want to keep positive during divorce, then you should accept some outside help. Those around you who care about you will want to try and do what they can to give you a hand. It can be hard to accept their help, as you may feel like some kind of “burden.” In reality, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Your friends and family care about you, and just like you’d help them when they need it, they want to help you now. Don’t be afraid to lean on them for extra help, especially when you need someone to talk to. If they invite you out to social events, try and make an effort to go even if it feels hard. You’ll be surprised at how much better you’ll feel when you spend your time with them!

Practice some self-improvement

A great way to keep positive during divorce is by focusing on some self-improvement. Making helpful changes can be a great way to balance out those “negative” ones you may be experiencing. In general, most people like to focus on their health, both physically and mentally.

Plenty of research has shown that exercising helps improve our moods and clear our minds. It’s also a great way to get out of the house and potentially meet new people. This makes it great to do along with mental health improvements, as they’ll both tie into one another.

Co-Parenting Pettiness: Setting Differences Aside

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Having a good co-parenting plan is important for sharing custody after your divorce. However, co-parenting pettiness can easily undermine your plans. Identifying and correcting this sort of behavior is important for making your co-parenting experience go smoothly…

Co-Parenting Pettiness: Common Behavior

Procrastination

Procrastinating isn’t just a bad habit to have. It can also be a sign of post-divorce pettiness. For instance, maybe your ex has had something come up, and asks if you can watch the kids for them. Instead of getting back as soon as you can, you instead wait until the last minute to reply.

This is not only frustrating for your ex, but also sets a bad example for your kids. Plus, it also can lead to your ex doing the same in return. Rather, you should do your best to prioritize matters related to your co-parenting agreement.

“Can’t” vs. “Won’t”

Any good co-parenting agreement is going to include some compromises. Still, sometimes that can be hard to accept. There may be times where you don’t want to compromise, but also don’t want to come out and say that you’ll refuse to do something.

Rather, you might tell your ex that you “can’t” do what they’re asking, rather than saying you “won’t.” This is not only unfair to them, but over time, they’ll catch on to how you somehow always have an excuse ready to go. Instead of trying to ignore these conversations, be willing to talk to your ex about the compromise you make and find one which works for you both.

Silent treatment

The silent treatment is a pretty extreme kind of co-parenting pettiness. It’s understandable that you and your ex may not want to talk all that much after your divorce. Nevertheless, you’ll still need to keep some form of communication open due to your custody arrangement. Choosing not to talk at all though is just going to cause problems.

During those times you have to talk to one another, try to keep the conversation brief and to-the-point. Avoid getting sidetracked or trying to pry into their personal life. If in-person conversations don’t work, it may help to keep things strictly over-the-phone or through email.

Post-Divorce Burnout: Moving Forward Healthily

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It isn’t always easy to adjust to your new life after a divorce. However, it’s important to avoid potential post-divorce burnout. Trying out some handy strategies can help you recompose yourself and move forwards with a stronger mindset…

Post-Divorce Burnout: Keep Going

Take time to grieve

If you don’t allow yourself time to grieve, then your chances of experiencing post-divorce burnout are much higher. Now, with how unpleasant those feelings can be, it makes sense that maybe you don’t want to deal with them. The thing is, if you don’t process them now, they’ll just get worse over time.

You won’t want those feelings of sadness or anger to follow you in your post-divorced life. Instead, take the time now to get them out of your system. You’ll probably be surprised to find that you’ll feel a lot better when you do!

Cut out the negativity

Something else which can lead to post-divorce burnout is stress. It isn’t uncommon to feel pretty stressed out after dealing with your ex all throughout the divorce. Plus, you may also be dealing with needing to find a new job, or a new home. The last thing you need is even more stress and negativity coming from those around you.

Interacting with negative people will only bring your mood down. Therefore, try to surround yourself with positive people who want to help you. Those who you leaned on during your divorce can be just as important for you even when it’s over. It may also be good to look for new friends as well, which can help you move on from the divorce.

Have an outlet

It’s helpful to find some kind of outlet for your stress and negative emotions. When you have a way to channel those feeling into something else, it does a lot to prevent post-divorce burnout. The nice thing is that you’ll have a lot of different options that you can choose from.

For example, many people like to have some kind of journal to write in. This lets them write down their feelings, what’s bothering them, and start to get those negative ones out of their system. It may also be good to pick up a creative hobby, which’ll let you de-stress and have fun at the same time.

Post-Divorce Anxiety: Maintaining Mental Health

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Taking care of your mental health is quite important after your divorce. However, many people tend to experience a lot of post-divorce anxiety. This tends to be because of all the changes going on. Seeing what causes this anxiety can help you know ways you can get it under control…

Post-Divorce Anxiety: Emotional Impact of Divorce

Moving

One common reason for post-divorce anxiety is when someone needs to move. The combination of both leaving your spouse, and the place you’ve called home, can be hard to handle. Having to go do things solo in a place that’s new to you can be tough, and leave you full of anxiety.

Still, keep in mind that you got a divorce for a reason. It’s easy to create an idealized version of living with your spouse that didn’t match the reality. Think about all the things they did that frustrated you, and now take comfort in the fact that you can start living on your own terms.

Making new friends

Your social life can also be a cause of post-divorce anxiety. People are social creatures by nature. Even if you’re more introverted, you’ll still like doing things with friends every now and again. With your divorce, you might now find a lot of friends you and your ex had may not stick around like they used to.

While you may still have close friends and family, it’s still always good to try and make new ones. This can seem daunting, but keep in mind you’ve been making friends all throughout your life. Consider going to some kind of social event or a picking up a hobby. These can both be great ways to find like-minded people who you can become friends with.

Extra costs

Your former budget is probably going to need some adjustment after your divorce. It tends to be cheaper and easier to budget when you’re married. Now, you’ll be going back to a single source of income. Add in any extra costs which could’ve came from the divorce, and it can easily get your post-divorce anxiety racing.

Remember that there’s been times before when you’ve had to crunch your budget. You made it through those times, so you can make it through these ones as well. Take some time to really look over your income and expenses, and work out a way to make some savings. Doing so can really help put your mind at ease.

Divorce Causes: Understanding Conflict

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce is something that can happen due to a whole host of reasons. Still, some divorce causes tend to be more common than others. Knowing what these reasons are can shed some insight on what issues couples tend to face…

Divorce Causes: Common Issues

Too much conflict

Constant arguing and fighting are one of the more common divorce causes. Usually, these problems are because of issues communicating. Whenever a disagreement comes up, the couple won’t know how to discuss it properly. This leads them to fight and end up in a worse mood than they already were.

Eventually, it’ll feel like every conversation ends in some kind of argument. Not only is this upsetting for both spouses, but it also doesn’t resolve what the issue was in the first place. The stress and frustration of this can become too much to take, and end up resulting in a divorce.

Infidelity

It’s probably not surprising that infidelity is another of the frequent divorce causes. Cheating is seen as the ultimate betrayal of a partner’s trust. On top of any other issues, cheating tends to be the “last straw” for a spouse. Once they either learn about an affair, they’ll usually go right to divorce.

Partners usually cheat because of issues in the relationship, mainly due to feelings of neglect. Still, infidelity can occur in other ways aside from physical contact. Emotional and financial infidelity are both very real, and can cause a divorce all the same.

Lack of commitment

While marriage should be a big commitment, a lack of that is also among the frequent divorce causes. Now, a lack of commitment doesn’t mean a person will cheat on their partner, although it could contribute to it. Rather, what it means is that they don’t “feel” like they’re married, or that they have a strong bond.

This lack of commitment doesn’t have to be “negative” per say either. Instead, it usually tends to be more neutral, where you feel like your partner is still a friend more than a spouse. It’s possible that over time, a couple can lose strong feelings of love, and end up with a divorce.

Relationship Red Flags & Indicators

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After a divorce, you might be concerned about future serious relationships ending up the same. A good way to avoid repeating past issues is by being aware of some common relationship red flags. These indicators can help you realize when things may not end well in the future…

Relationship Red Flags: What To Watch For

Issues talking

One of the most apparent relationship red flags is when you struggle to talk to your partner. For example, it could be that you can’t talk without things becoming some kind of fight. Or, you might struggle to have them pay attention to what you’re saying and to take you seriously.

If you can’t properly communicate now, then it’ll get even worse when things become more complicated. It’ll be tough to discuss marriage-related things like finances, children, and potentially relocating. If you aren’t able to improve your ability to talk now, you probably don’t want to keep things going for too long.

Lack of trust

A lack of trust is another of the most apparent relationship red flags. Any good relationship is going to be built upon a mutual level of trust. However, your partner might not give you that trust, and instead accuse you of things you haven’t done. On the other hand, your partner might act very shady and make you doubt how honest they are.

Trust issues can manifest in many different ways. It could be that your partner is always trying to track you, who you’re with, and what you’re doing on your phone. They could also constantly go out without telling you why or where they’re at, while acting suspicious. Not having faith in your partner doesn’t bode well for the future of your relationship.

Friends & family don’t like them

Sometimes you need an outside opinion to help you spot relationship red flags. In particular, it can be good to ask how your close friends and family feel about them. If there’s anyone who is going to give you honest feedback, it’ll be them. Plus, you know you can trust them because they’ll have your best interests in mind.

Many people when they’re in the “honeymoon phase” struggle with seeing their partner’s serious flaws. Furthermore, you might not want to hear anything negative said about them. Still, you should listen to what your friends and family have to say. They might be able to clue you in on something which you haven’t realized yet.

Blindside Divorce: Unexpected Turmoil

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce is always hard, but it can be especially rough when it seems to come out of nowhere. A blindside divorce can throw your whole world upside down. However, there are ways you can process the news and get things back on track…

Blindside Divorce: How To Recover

Keep your cool

It can be a bit easier said that done to try and keep calm despite a blindside divorce. After all, this news has probably shocked and hurt you quite a bit. Still, it’s important that you do your best to stay cool.

Letting your emotions get the best of you could cause you to say something you regret. Keep in mind that this is probably something your spouse has been thinking about for some time. During that time, they were able to process everything, but you haven’t had that time. Therefore, keep calm, ask some key questions, and then give yourself time to take it what’s happening.

Lean on loved ones

A blindside divorce isn’t something you want to take on by yourself. Even when you take time to process what’s occurring, it can be hard to juggle all those emotions. As a result, it’s a good idea to lean on your loved ones for some extra support.

These loved ones, usually close friends and family, will be a key part of your divorce support network. That’s why it’s a good idea to start getting some help from them now. Talk to them about how you feel and what’s worrying you. Odds are they can help you calm down, refocus, and feel more optimistic about the future.

Prepare properly

Another negative about a blindside divorce is that it means you haven’t had time to prepare for the divorce. While your spouse has been thinking about what they need to do, you’ll be starting from square one. That’s why you want to start getting things ready as soon as you can.

For instance, it’s good to start gathering important documents, especially financial ones. It’s also good to set up your own finances, like through an independent bank account, if you had been sharing things with your spouse. Preparing properly will help you “catch up” and not fall behind in the divorce.

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