What to Wear to Divorce Court: Dress for Success

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When preparing for divorce court there is so much to do. You’ll have meetings with your attorney and have tons of legal paperwork to prep. But sometimes people forget to prepare what they’re going to wear to divorce court. First impressions are important, and some judges are more conservative than others. It’s best to play it safe and dress as if you were going for a job interview. Here are some tips to help you look prepared!

What to Wear to Divorce Court: First Impressions Matter

Clothing for Men

When deciding what to wear to divorce court, business attire is best. Wear long slacks with a belt and shoes with matching socks. Also, a collared shirt with a tie should be work. You can choose to wear a jacket or not. However, it’s always a good idea to have one in case the courtroom is cold. Shorts are never allowed, and you should not wear jeans. Ditch the hat as well, and make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too baggy.

Clothing for Women

Business attire is also what women should wear to divorce court. A business suit isn’t necessary, but you should wear dress slacks or a skirt. Make sure a skirt goes to your knees or longer. A nice blouse or even a conservative dress would work well. Make sure that nothing is too low-cut or revealing. Also, make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too tight. Leave the flashy sequins at home and opt for a more neutral outfit. You could be in divorce court for a long time, so bringing a sweater or light jacket is a good idea. You don’t necessarily need to wear heels, but stay away from tennis shoes or flip flops.

Accessories

The main goal in choosing what to wear to divorce court is to keep things neutral and non-attention grabbing. Try not to wear flashy accessories. If you have a lot of piercings, it might be best to remove some while you go to court. Cover up tattoos as well. Men and women should have clean, neat hair in a polished and neutral style. Also, now is possibly not the best time for very long acrylic nails or blue hair. Finally, keep makeup subtle and unobtrusive. The more conservative you can look, the better.

Having your own sense of style is great! Flashy accessories and dyed hair might be how you express yourself. That’s perfectly fine, but in divorce court, you might be more successful if you tone down your natural flair. Everything you wear to divorce court should be modest and polished. You want to look clean, neat, and dependable. Although you may want to show off your flashy side, you’ll probably benefit in the long run by playing by the court’s rules.

The Pros and Cons Of Sole Custody: Weighing Options

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Custody battles are one of the most stressful things a couple can go through. There are pros and cons of sole custody versus joint custody. A lot depends on the situation and parents involved. You need to weigh the options and decide if seeing sole custody is the right decision for you, your children, and your ex-partner.

The Pros and Cons of Sole Custody: Is This The Right Move?

Positives of Sole Custody

When debating the pros and cons of sole custody, it is important to know the reason why you are seeking it. If there was abuse or neglect towards you or the children, then it might be best for them to be entirely in your care. Similarly, if there are substance abuses or severe mental illness that could impair somebody’s judgment, it might be safer to keep the children with one parent only. The positives in this instance would be that you could feel confident that your children are safe. Another positive is that if it’s only you making decisions for your children, you don’t have to discuss options with your ex. There can be less stress over important decisions.

Negatives of Sole Custody

Another thing to consider when debating the pros and cons of sole custody is that although you won’t have to run every decision by your partner, you also don’t have them to bounce ideas off of. If stressful situations arise with your kids, you won’t have the benefit of your partner’s advice. Another thing to consider is how overwhelming taking care of children full time alone can be. And of course, seeking sole custody can be a huge source of pain for the parent that loses custody. It can lead to feelings of resentment between you and your ex, as well as your children.

What to Do After You’ve Made Your Decision

After you’ve weighed the pros and cons of sole custody, you might have decided to seek sole or joint custody. If you are seeking joint custody, you and your ex will need to work out a schedule. This also might include finding new places to live or coordinating with child care and school pickups. If you have decided to seek sole custody, you’ll probably want to arrange some childcare help. You’ll need to have backup options for things like school pick-ups and taking children to activities. In case you get sick or work keeps you busy, you’ll need to know who to call for emergency childcare. You also might want to look into help since you are now the sole caregiver, which can be overwhelming.

There are many pros and cons of sole custody. Make sure you weigh the pros and cons to yourself, your children, and your ex-spouse. Seeking sole custody can cause a lot of emotions, so be sure of your decision before you seek it. Once you’ve decided which route to go, try to prepare things in advance as much as possible. This will hopefully make the transition easier for the kids. The most important thing is that you work out a situation where your children are happy and supported.

Benefits of Dating a Divorcee

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Some people overlook divorcees in the dating pool. However, there are many benefits of dating a divorcee. Aside from their life experience, they know what they want in a partner. In addition, they will be unlikely to rush things in a relationship. They hopefully will be quick to recognize issues within a relationship as well. Finally, they have proved that they are committed and hopefully have learned from their first relationship. Try not to count out divorcees as potential partners.

Benefits of Dating a Divorcee: Let Their Experience Work in Your Favor

They Know What They Need in a Partner

One of the major benefits of dating a divorcee is that they have learned what they need in a partner. They know what works in a relationship and what kills a relationship. Divorcees will therefore be honest about their needs and quick to see issues. They have probably also learned their strengths and weaknesses as a partner. As a result, they will be more willing to work on their shortcomings.

They Won’t Rush Into Things

Divorcees are more likely to take things slow in a relationship. One of the important benefits of dating a divorcee is that they will be more likely to make their next relationship work longtime. They will take time to make sure their next partner is a better fit. Because they know the stress of divorce, they won’t be likely to rush into another marriage. Therefore, if they do commit, it will probably be a marriage that lasts forever.

Quick to Recognize Issues

Another of the benefits of dating a divorcee is that they’ll be able to recognize problems brewing. They will be quick to see issues that could harm your relationship. They have seen first hand how some problems can ruin a marriage. Therefore, they know how certain issues can spiral out of control. Because of this, they’ll be quick to address those problems.

They’re Committed

Finally, knowing they are willing to commit is one of the main benefits of dating a divorcee. They have proven that they are willing to commit to a marriage. Even though their first marriage didn’t work out it doesn’t mean it was all their fault. There are many reasons why marriages fail. They’ve proven that they are not afraid of commitment. And hopefully, they’ve learned some valuable lessons from their first marriage.

Dating divorcees can be a great option for somebody looking for a mature partner. One of the many benefits of dating a divorcee is the fact that they are worldly. They have experienced the highs and lows of a relationship. Because of this, they’ll be likely to take that experience into their future relationships and make those even stronger.

What to do if Your Partner is an Emotional Abuser

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

The signs of emotional abuse can be subtle in a relationship. Abusers often focus their energy on making you feel weak or unimportant. If your partner is an emotional abuser, find ways to remember your self-worth. Set boundaries with your partner and stick to them. Get support from a friend or family member you trust. And finally, make an escape plan to get out of the relationship. Know that you are important and worthy of a healthy relationship.

What to do if Your Partner is an Emotional Abuser: How to Cope and Get Help

Focus on Yourself

If your partner is an emotional abuser, they probably spend much of their time tearing you down. Making you feel over-emotional or stupid is a classic sign of emotional abuse. Abusers want you to think that they are the most important person in the world. So they belittle you to make your world revolve around them. Find something that gives you a feeling of self-worth. For example, focus on a hobby or activity that makes you feel proud of yourself. Take time to relax on your own, and make it a point to include self-care in your everyday life.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is an important step to take if your partner is an emotional abuser. Abusers are just grown-up bullies. And bullies respond to strong boundaries. For example, tell them that you’ll walk away if they say something unkind. But you must remember to stick to your boundaries. If you don’t follow through, then you give your abuser more power. Therefore, they won’t take you seriously in the future when you try to set boundaries.

Get Support

Get support from a family member or friend if your partner is an emotional abuser. Confide in them with what you’re going through. Abusers want you to feel that your feelings are invalid. If you even suspect emotional abuse, run it by a family member. Gaslighting, or making your question your own feelings, is a classic weapon of the abuser. But don’t let them make you think their behavior is normal. A friend or family member should help you get some perspective.

Make an Escape Plan

Finally, if your partner is an emotional abuser, make an escape plan. The person you’ve confided in can help with this. Know where you will go and who you can call on for help when you make your exit. Also, keep a list of phone numbers you need. Try to save some money without your partner realizing it. For example, keep it in an account they don’t have access to. Or ask a friend you trust to hold it. Know your partner’s schedule so that you know when you can leave.

Emotional abuse can affect all aspects of your life. Get the help you need if your partner is an emotional abuser. Focus on finding your self-worth and set boundaries with your partner. Get support from somebody you trust, and have them help you make an escape plan. Just remember that you deserve to be in a happy and supportive relationship. Seek counseling if you ever feel overwhelmed. And finally, if you suspect your emotional abuser could ever physically hurt you, seek help.

How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Children

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be hard to know how to make divorce easier on your children. But divorce is incredibly hard on them as well as you. So it’s important to try and be aware of their needs and feelings. It’s important to reassure them frequently that the divorce is not related to them. In addition, always be a good listener when they want to talk about their feelings. Be a team with your ex, at least when it comes to the kids. Put aside your differences to make the transition easier for your children. And finally, get your children to help if they need it or ask for it. Divorce is hard on everybody, but your children will need your support.

How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Children: Help Your Kids Through It

Reassure Them

The most important thing to make divorce easier on your children is to constantly be reassuring. No matter what you or your partner tell them, children are very apt to blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Tell them repeatedly that they are not to blame. You also need to reassure them that their lives will settle back down soon. The divorce process can be hard, but knowing that their schedule will be more predictable in the future is helpful for kids. And finally, reassure them of how much you love them. Even older children are going through an especially fragile time and will need to hear it often.

Listen to Them

Another way to make divorce easier on your children is to listen to them. Some kids are very hesitant to talk about their parents’ divorce. Others have lots of questions and want to discuss their feelings. Don’t try to force your children to talk to you if they don’t want to. But when they do choose to talk, be a good listener. They may say things that upset you, but try to put their feelings first and listen to everything they say.

Be a Team

Being a team player with your ex can be hard. But it can make divorce easier on your children in the end. You may have your differences, and you may feel that your ex is in the wrong. However, your children still see them as loving parents. It’s important not to bad-mouth them in front of your kids. This can upset your children greatly. Try to at least work with your ex when it comes to coordinating schedules for your children so that their schedule stays somewhat dependable.

Get them Help

Finally, make divorce easier on your children by getting them help if they need it. Some children just may not be able to express their emotions in a healthy way. Or be able to talk to you about their feelings. If this is the case, consider talking to a child therapist. They might be able to really help your kids work through their emotions. A therapist or psychologist can be a neutral party for them to who they may feel more comfortable opening up.

Divorce can be incredibly stressful on kids, so it’s important to try and make divorce easier on your children. Try to always reassure them they are not to blame and that you love them. In addition, be a good listener if they want to talk to you about their feelings. Put aside hurt feelings in order to work together with your ex to keep your children’s schedules reliable. And finally, get them professional help if they need it or if they ask for it. Remember that as an adult, you’re better equipped to handle your emotions. Your children will need your help getting through what can be a very stressful time in their lives.

Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Divorce can often leave people questioning their self-esteem. Rebuilding confidence after a divorce is important so that you can begin to get back to living your best life. You can also have more confidence to grow and begin this new chapter of your life on a positive note. Try to refocus on old hobbies or passions that make you feel happy. Reconnecting with old friends can also boost your confidence. Many people find positive affirmations to be extremely helpful with boosting self-confidence. And finally, reach out and get help from a therapist if you feel like it would be helpful. Divorce can shatter your self-confidence, but it’s important to gain it back so you can focus on the exciting adventures to come.

Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce: Get Your Groove Back

Refocus on Old Hobbies

One way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Oftentimes, divorce can be extremely time-consuming and stressful. It’s hard to make time for hobbies. Now that your divorce is final, you can try to get back to hobbies you care about. If you’re a talented painter, make time to paint. Or try to find a new hobby like yoga or meditation. Finding things you’re passionate about can really boost your self-confidence as you hone new skills.

Reconnect with Old Friends

Another way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to reconnect with old friends. You might have lost touch with people in the stress of the divorce process. If that’s the case, take the time now to reach out to them. For example, ask a friend to dinner or for a quick coffee. They can help you process your feelings about the divorce. It’s also confidence-boosting to be around people you care about and who respect you.

Positive Affirmations

Many people find positive affirmations to be very helpful in rebuilding confidence after a divorce. Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself repeatedly in order to reprogram your brain to focus on positivity instead of negative self-talk. Many people find it helpful to write them where they’ll be seen frequently. For example, on the bathroom mirror so that they see them each morning as soon as they wake up. It could be something as simple as “I am worth loving.” Conversely, it could be something specific to yourself like “I will name three things I’m grateful for each morning as I brush my teeth.”

Get Help

Rebuilding confidence after a divorce can be difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to figure it out on your own. Try reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They’ll be able to help you with negative self-talk and self-doubt. They can often recommend ideas for boosting self-confidence. In addition, it can be very helpful just to have another person to vent your feelings to. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. Divorce can be very damaging to your self-confidence. If you’ve realized that you now have lower self-esteem it’s important to rebuild confidence after a divorce. Re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Finding things that you’re good at can to boost your confidence. Next, re-connect with old friends with who you’ve lost touch. In addition, many people find positive affirmations to be helpful with self-confidence. And finally, get help from a professional. A therapist or counselor is a great resource to use if you’re struggling with low self-esteem. If you can build back your self-confidence after a divorce, you can move on to the next exciting stage of life.

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Affording adoption can be a tricky situation for many families. There is no way around it: adoption is expensive. However, there are plenty of different things to look into if you are trying to figure out how to raise the money for adoption. It’s best to start by figuring out your total costs. Then you can try getting creative with fundraising. You can also investigate bank loans to see if financing is possible. And finally, look into tax credits and grants for the public to help offset adoption costs. Hopefully, you can find a way to raise the money needed. Adoption is a beautiful way to add to your family and forever change the life of a child and yourself.

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds to Complete Your Family

Figure Out Your Up Front Costs

The best place to start when looking into affording adoption is to figure out how much it will cost in the end. Your chosen adoption agency will be a good place to start to figure out how much money you’ll need. Don’t forget to budget the cost of travel if you will be traveling to meet your child. You’ll also need to include adoption fees, attorney fees, and the costs of providing the supplies you’ll need for your child.

Fundraising

Affording adoption can also be easier if you try fundraising. There are plenty of creative options to try and raise some money. You can go to your local church to see if they have any programs to help offset adoption costs. You can also try traditional fundraising methods, like starting a GoFundMe page, bake sale, car wash, or garage sales. Many couples begin an adoption blog.

Loans

Affording adoption can also be easier if you apply for a loan. Many banks have options available to help couples afford the steep costs of adoption. Some adoption agencies have financing options as well. You can try taking out a personal loan. In addition, if you own your own house and have equity in it, you might be able to borrow against it using a line of credit.

Grants and Tax Credits

Finally, affording adoption is easier when you look into grants and tax credits. Many federal and national non-profits have grant programs for adoption costs. The IRS also offers a tax credit for adoption. Some jobs will include some benefits for employees looking to adopt.

Affording adoption can be a source of stress for many couples. However, there are many options available to help with the steep costs. The first step is to figure out the total anticipated costs of the adoption process. Don’t forget the costs to the adoption agency, attorney, traveling, outfitting your home, and the general cost of raising a child. You can try fundraising for the money and setting up a GoFundMe or blog to keep friends and family in the loop. Ask your bank about potential loans to help finance the adoption. And finally, look into federal grants and tax credits to help offset the costs. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out how to raise the money to bring the newest member of your family home.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you are wondering if you need a divorce lawyer, you aren’t alone. Divorces can be very expensive and it might be tempting to save the money you’d pay to an attorney for something else. However, an attorney can prevent you from making mistakes that could be incredibly costly. It’s really in your best interest to have representation, even if you believe your divorce will be amicable. There are many risks involved with going it alone in a settlement. Find a divorce lawyer early in the process so that they can prepare you for what to expect. And finally, when choosing a divorce lawyer, make sure they have plenty of experience with similar cases. While it is not legally mandated that you use a divorce attorney, the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer? Weighing Your Options

The Short Answer

The short answer is that yes, in almost all cases, you need to hire a divorce lawyer. Even if you believe your divorce will be amicable, it still will be very complex. The divorce system is very hard to understand if you are not a divorce attorney yourself. It involves a lot of rules, paperwork, and forms. If any of those things are not done properly, you could wind up losing a lot of money. You could also end up losing assets, property, or risk having it affect your custody situation.

The Risks

There are many risks if you choose to not hire a divorce lawyer. If you own property and don’t have representation, you could wind up losing a lot of money or even be stuck paying for a home you don’t own. Having minor children also means you need representation, because you’ll need to decide how your co-parenting will look. Any errors in that and you could be dealing with a nightmare co-parenting situation for years. If you have retirement plans, assets, or are wanting to work out any spousal support you need to hire a divorce attorney.

When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Hire a divorce lawyer early on in the process. Many people find that the best advice is to hire representation before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. They can help you figure out what information you’ll need and prepare you in case your spouse retaliates negatively. They will also walk you through an overview of the process itself which can be very helpful.

How to Pick a Divorce Lawyer

It’s important to pick the right divorce lawyer for your case. Plan to interview several attorneys before making your decision. Don’t just use the recommendation of a friend unless you also feel like it’s a good fit. You want to make sure that your attorney has plenty of experience with cases similar to yours. You also need to make sure that they are within your budget.

Hiring a divorce lawyer is not legally necessary but it is the smartest move if you are going through a divorce. While it might seem expensive, a lawyer can end up getting you more money than you anticipated with your settlement. In addition, the amount of money you could lose if you make any errors could be astronomical. And those errors could also affect you for the rest of your life. This is especially true if you and your spouse own property, or have children, retirement plans, or large assets. Interview several attorneys before deciding on who will represent you, and hire them early in the process. This way they can walk you through every step to make sure you are getting the best settlement. Hiring good legal counsel is priceless and is the only way to truly protect yourself in a settlement.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
While the divorce process is, of course, stressful and painful, you might find that there are unexpected benefits of divorce. There are negative effects as well, but many people are surprised to find some silver linings. Many find that they are more confident after a divorce. In addition, you will likely have more free time. And what’s more, your time is your own. Divorce can be a great way to start some new beginnings and exciting new chapters in your life. Finally, you can also prioritize your own goals and needs without feeling guilty. Divorce is difficult and it can be a very painful process. But hopefully, you will be able to experience some of these positive effects and begin to see your divorce as the start of a new chapter in your life.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce: Surprising Silver Linings

Confidence

Confidence is a very unexpected benefit of divorce. Most people assume that divorce will wreck their self-confidence. However, often the opposite is true. Divorce can be empowering and proof that you have what it takes to fight for what you deserve. What’s more, the thought of being single might be scary. However, after surviving a divorce, obstacles and fears might seem easier to overcome.

Free Time

Another unexpected benefit of divorce is that your time is now your own. You don’t have to worry about catering to your partner’s needs any longer. Or feel guilty when you take time for yourself. If you are now sharing custody of your children you might also have every other weekend free. While it can be a painful transition at first, you might start realizing there are a lot of benefits to having time to yourself now and then.

New Beginnings

Many people look at divorce as the closing of a chapter. But one of the surprising benefits of divorce is that it can be the first chapter in a new phase of life. Ending your marriage allows you to meet new people and even potentially a new partner. It might be just the fresh start you need to make changes in your life that you’ve been putting off for a long time.

Prioritizing Goals

Finally, another of the unexpected benefits of divorce is that you can now prioritize yourself and your own needs. If your marriage was on the rocks before, you might not have been able to take the time you need for self-care. In addition, if you put aside goals you now have the opportunity to reach for them. It’s okay to prioritize yourself now and get exactly what you want for your life.

While it can take a little while to realize the unexpected benefits of divorce, once you are through with the stress of the process itself, you can see the positives. Many find that although they thought they would be less confident, the process was empowering. And what’s more, they went through it and survived. After that, other fears might not seem as scary. Another positive is that your free time is now your own to do with as you please without guilt. You might also have more free time now, especially with shared custody. You can also prioritize your own goals and needs. And finally, divorce can often be the start of a new chapter in your life with exciting opportunities. While it can be painful and difficult, the divorce process is not all negative. There are some unexpected silver linings to look forward to eventually.

Divorce News: Making a Plan

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be hard to bring up divorce with your spouse. However, it can be even harder to break the divorce news to your kids. With how traumatic divorce can be for them, you want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible…

Divorce News: Telling The Kids

Tell them together

When breaking divorce news to your kids, it’s important you and your spouse tell them together. In effect, you’ll both want to maintain a united front. After all, you kids aren’t going to know what you know about the divorce or who suggested it. Doing it together helps tell them you’re still working together.

Also, this avoids sending them any mixed messages. If you tell them first, and your partner does later, it could confuse your kids. Plus, you won’t know what your partner could say. Doing this together is good for making sure you’re both on the same page.

Wait for a good time

Another thing to remember when breaking divorce news to the kids is that timing is key. You don’t want to decide on a divorce, and then immediately tell the kids. You’ll also want to avoid telling them when they’re already angry or upset due to something else. Instead, you should make sure the time is right.

Wait until you and your spouse are sure you’ll divorce, and have some kind of plan set in place. Then, be sure to tell the kids somewhere they feel comfortable, and when they aren’t already emotional. This will help ensure the potential shockisn’t made worse by outside factors.

Know what to tell them

Of course, if you’re breaking divorce news, you should know what exactly you’re going to say. Your kids don’t need all the specific details of what went wrong. Most of it probably won’t make sense to them, especially if they’re younger. Rather, you should give them reassurance and a plan for the future.

Be sure that your kids know they aren’t responsible for the divorce, and that you both still love them. This reassurance is important for helping them start to process what’s going on. Then, tell them what might be happening in the future. If they know what to expect, then it’ll be easier for them to prepare emotionally.