Extra Income: Single Parent Pluses

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After a divorce, newly-single parents may seem to be facing financial hardships they are not used to facing. Because of the difference in income (a dual income home becoming a single income home), it is understandable why parents would need an extra income. Here are some ways you can generate an extra income as a single parent.

Extra Income: Ideas for Single Parents

Writing

Writing is a great idea for an extra income. Because content writing is growing in popularity for a multitude of websites, writing on the side can become a lucrative and easy addition to your income. You can do it on your own time and write as little or as much as you want.

Pet Sitting

There is an art to pet sitting that not everyone has, but it certainly is an extra income that is easy to make. You can start by making small flyers for your neighborhood or simply by word of mouth. Pet sitting can vary from daily walks to over-night, long term stays. You decide what you are comfortable doing and what works best with your schedule. Additionally, the therapy from hanging out with a dog for a little while will boost your mood!

Online Selling

With the growing popularity of online marketplaces, it is easier than ever to sell unused or unwanted items online. You can declutter and earn some cash at the same time! This extra income will require a small amount of time and planning: you’ll have to coordinate with others to meet up.

Tax Preparation

While it is past tax season for this year, you can get your license and prepare for next year’s season. Tax season is busy since literally everyone has to file by a certain date. This form of extra income is seasonal, but worth it if you don’t mind the extra hours.

Part Time Jobs

​While it may seem like a commitment, a part time job will be an extra income that could also bring other benefits. Some stores give a discount for employees that could also help your family. If you get a 10% discount on food and other necessities, you’re not only earning an extra few dollars, but saving them, too!

Divorce Coach: Emotional Support Through Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how difficult divorce can be, you might want to look for some extra help. One useful resource may be a divorce coach. A coach can really help you develop some strategies for tackling your divorce and its challenges…

Divorce Coach: How They Can Help

Plan out your path

It’s not to uncommon for people to feel aimless during their divorce. They might not know where to start, or what they need to do. All of this can quickly get overwhelming, and make things all the more difficult. However, a divorce coach can help you plan out each step and make your divorce a bit more easier.

Plus, a coach doesn’t only have to help you with the divorce itself. They can also help you make some post-divorce life plans as well. That way, not only can you figure out the steps for your divorce, but you can also have those first post-divorce life steps figured out too. That peace of mind can really help you mentally during your divorce.

Talking to your ex

Depending on your divorce situation, you might not be able to simply not talk to your ex anymore. For example, if you and your ex have kids, then you’ll probably have to learn to communicate as co-parents. However, this presents its own set of issues. A divorce coach can help you overcome these issues and make talking to one another easier.

Coaches can help you figure out where you both might have some common ground. Then, from there you can both work together on developing a parenting plan. Of course, this might cause some tensions, especially if your divorce wasn’t so smooth. Still, a coach can also help you figure out what to do when things go sideways.

Manage your emotions

Divorce makes plenty of people’s emotions run a little high. Of course, this can be difficult to deal with. More often than not, these emotions can really make it hard to get through your divorce in a good head-space. That’s where a divorce coach can certainly come in handy.

A coach can help you figure out your emotions, and get a better handle on them. This is especially invaluable for when you have to talk to your ex, or have to handle other divorce matters. Having your emotions well under control can ensure you make the right decisions at the right times.

Negative Divorce Behavior

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can leave you stressed and confused, even if it’s amicable. This can potentially cause you to engage in some negative divorce behavior. Avoiding this behavior is crucial for getting through your divorce as smoothly as possible…

Negative Divorce Behavior: Avoiding Nasty Habits

Refusing to talk

Communication problems are an example of negative divorce behavior which can really set you back. Understandably, if you feel hurt because of the divorce, you might not want to talk to your ex all that much. This is especially true if things ended on very negative terms. However, this can end up making things difficult for you.

Being able to communicate with your ex means you can both work on the divorce outcome. You can come to an agreement which works for you both much easier when you can communicate. Still, you might not be up for face-to-face meetings yet. In that case, you can use things like email or phone calls to get the job done.

Place unfair blame

Playing the “blame game” is also another type of negative divorce behavior to avoid. The problem with placing blame is that it’s a very natural response to divorce. After all, it’s easy to say that your ex is behind all the reasons why things didn’t work out. Still, this is going to have some negative side-effects for you and your divorce.

For starters, it’s going to make it hard for your ex to want to talk to you if you blame them all the time. Also, it means you aren’t reflecting on what you might have done yourself that contributed to the divorce. Remember, a marriage is a two-person matter; both of you need to be able to reflect and learn from what’s happened.

Rushing to move on

You probably want to move on from your divorce as soon as you can. However, you have to be careful not to rush too quickly. Trying to rush to get through everything is a form of negative divorce behavior that many people tend to struggle with.

For instance, they might try and rush through the divorce, which usually leaves them without the outcome they wanted. Sometimes, they might rush into dating again too soon, in an effort to replace the loneliness they feel. Instead, it’s much better to take your time and handle things right, rather than by rushing.

Sharing Spring Break Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Spring break is a fun week off of school for kids. The weather is finally getting a little warmer and it allows for a nice break before the rush of the end of the school year. While most plan for spring break all year with a trip to the beach or an amusement park, some families are sharing spring break for the first time.

As we approach the mid-semester break, let’s discuss the issues that you may be facing for the first time since your separation or divorce.

Sharing Spring Break: First Year Adjustments 

First Time Traveling With(out) You

Maybe your ex has a trip planned for part of spring break. When she mentioned the idea of taking the kids a few hours away for a couple of days, it seemed like no big deal. But, as the day came closer, you’re starting to have second thoughts. Unless there are safety concerns, relax and let your children enjoy their vacation. It might be the first, but it won’t be the last. Sharing spring break means your turn is coming; just look forward to getting to spend that time together.

New Significant Others

Before sharing your new significant other with your children, please remember your ex-spouse and how they will feel. Often times, school breaks coincide with trips that your new significant other will be joining you on. Sharing spring break (and sharing your children) means you’ll need to get permission from your ex before you continue with this. 

Conversely, if your ex wants to bring their new significant other on their vacation with the kids, think about how you’d feel if the roles were reversed. Keep in mind, each family and situation is different and there is no definite timeline to follow.

Spending Spring Break with Friends

As children grow, there is a chance they will want to spend spring break with a friend’s family on their vacation. This is normal, but might be tough. You may both have to agree to let your child spend spring break away from you. Sometimes, sharing spring break doesn’t necessarily mean with just your ex!

Keep in mind your custody agreements with your ex and the arrangements you have for weekly custody. Traveling outside of these agreements could create legal issues. Sharing spring break is a good way to enjoy stress-free time with your children. Make sure to communicate with your ex to create a smooth week. This is a good time to understand the details of your agreements and enjoy quality time with your kids!

Post-Divorce Budget: Managing Your Money

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Getting your new life after your divorce going is easier said than done. In fact, there’s a few things you’ll need to do beforehand. Most notably, this includes setting up a post-divorce budget. Having a good budget can really help you avoid financial stress and begin your new life on the right foot…

Post-Divorce Budget: How To Adapt

Revisit your old one

The building blocks of your post-divorce budget can really come from the old one you had. Now, you’ll certainly have to make some adjustments. After all, you’re probably going from having two sources of income, to only yours. However, there might also be some expenses which you don’t have to worry about, or maybe even some new ones to consider.

Plus, there’s a pretty easy way of visualizing this starter budget. Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper, and have one side be for your income, and another for expenses. Fill each side out, and then add the totals up at the bottom. This quick draft budget can help you see if your finances are in good shape, or if you need to make some changes.

Focus on the necessities

If you find that your post-divorce budget isn’t looking so good, then it’s time to make some cutbacks. That means that you’ll have to focus on the necessities over the more optional things. Basically, you’ll want to prioritize your needs (clothing, food, shelter, and transport) over your wants.

Still, even for your needs, you don’t have to go crazy. For instance, you might need clothes, but that isn’t an excuse to go on a big upscale shopping spree. Buy the things you can comfortably afford, and cut out those other things which are just draining money. This can help you balance out your budget.

Avoid big purchases

A big purchase can really mess with your post-divorce budget. For example, you might be tempted to move to a new house or get a new car as a sort-of kick starter for your new life. However, these kinds of purchases can really hurt your wallet, and leave you stuck in a worse situation in the long run.

Post-Divorce Boundaries: Making Changes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce brings about a lot of changes. One of the changes that can be quite hard to adjust to is the new boundaries. What might’ve been “normal” before can become intrusive or unwelcome. Therefore, it’s time to set some post-divorce boundaries between you and your former spouse. What feels right? What needs a change? And how can these boundaries help you improve your quality of life? Everyone is different, as are there needs. So, it’s time to find what works for you.

Post-Divorce Boundaries: Setting What Feels Right

Spousal Boundaries

The first post-divorce boundaries that people will look to set is with their former spouse. It can feel like there’s so many things that have to be change that it can seem overwhelming. However, it all depends on what you and your spouse feel comfortable with. For example, if you both feel comfortable talking to each other, you can still keep doing so.

But, if things get uncomfortable, or if you’re dealing with an angry spouse, than you’ll probably want to set some post-divorce boundaries. This can be talking only through text/phone calls, or through your lawyers. This similar approach can be applied to other areas like living arrangements and child visitation. Figure out what you and your spouse are comfortable with, and set the boundaries as they become needed.

Boundaries For Personal Obligations

Another set of divorce boundaries to consider are those for personal obligations. Divorce can be draining, and other activities can take up time and energy you might need for it. That’s why it helps to set boundaries for your obligations. Focus on figuring out what you really like and consider taking a break from the rest. This can include things like projects, clubs, and volunteer work. Most people will understand that you need a break while your divorce is going on, and you can add them back into your schedule once the divorce is over.

Boundaries For Friends and Family

Your friends and family can be a great source of support while going through a divorce. However, there can be things about your divorce you don’t want to discuss with them. This is where it helps to establish post-divorce boundaries for them. If your friends or family offer unsolicited advice, it’s okay to tell them something like “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t want to talk about that right now”. Don’t be afraid to be a bit more direct too if they don’t get the message. It’s best to let them know where the boundaries are now so they don’t keep crossing over them inadvertently.

Your divorce is your business. Setting post-divorce boundaries can help make sure you keep it that way. Not only will it make you feel more comfortable, but setting these boundaries will help you have a sense of control over what can be an uneasy time.

Divorce While Living Together

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Usually, most people think that a divorce means one spouse will move out of the house. However, sometimes both partners will stay in the same place. Pulling off a divorce while living together might seem frustrating, but there are ways to make it easier for the both of you…

Divorce While Living Together

Why do it?

Why would a couple decide to do their divorce while living together? As it turns out, there’s a few reasons why they may make this choice. For starters, it can help save money. Doing divorce this way means you don’t have to worry about the costs that come with finding a new place to live.

Also, it might be a good idea if you have kids. It can be hard for them to register the divorce, and then see one of their parents leave right after. If you still decide to live together, you can help your kids understand what’s going on, and prepare for the changes that’ll come.

Cooperation is key

To make your divorce while living together go smoothly, you and your partner will need to work together. In general, this means doing the things you probably did before. For example, you’ll both still want to help with things like cleaning, buying groceries, and handling bill payments.

However, you’ll also want to keep things civil for the kids. In fact, this is a good time to work on a co-parenting plantogether. That way, you’ll have it all sorted out and ready to go once the divorce is finalized.

Have good boundaries

Of course, the biggest hurdle to doing a divorce while living together is avoiding those same issues which lead to the divorce in the first place. To help avoid those problems, it’s important to have good boundaries. These boundaries will help you have some personal space, even when sharing a home.

One thing divorcing couples who are still living together tend to do is set up separate rooms. That way, they have their own space to go to for privacy. It might feel a little “off” at first, but it’s still important to respect those boundaries.

Pet Support During Divorce: Exploring Benefits

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It’s been proven that owning a pet is good for your health. Pets are stress relievers, companions, and a good excuse to get a little exercise or spend some time outside. So, what are the benefits of pet support during divorce? Let’s discuss…

Pet Support During Divorce: What Your Furry Friends Can Do For You… 

Good for You

​The benefits of pet support during divorce go on and on. Pets give their owners an overall better wellbeing and greater happiness. They can relieve stress in a high stress time and help keep your mind off your separation. In addition to that, they are great cuddle buddies and are always happy to see you.

Good for Your Health

One of the obvious benefits of pet support during divorce is the need for physical activity. When you’re grieving a divorce, it can be easy to stay in all day on the couch. A simple walk a couple times a day keeps you active and allows for bonding time. Additionally, a study from the American Heart Association shows that pets can help lower cholesterol and blood pressure.

Good for Children

Children are often confused and lonely when their parents are divorcing. It can be a difficult time for them, needing constant reassurance and extra love. A pet senses this need for extra love and provides just that. Amongst the other benefits of pet support during divorce, pets give children someone to talk to. Putting their thoughts and feelings into words, even to someone who can’t respond, allows a child to come to terms with what’s happening.

Not Just Pets

Other animals can also provide therapeutic relief for children during divorce and they don’t have to live in your home! Horses are healing animals. Learning to care for and ride a horse is a good outlet for built up emotions. Doing so can help ease anger and release frustrations for those who need an outlet. Working in a stable and riding horseback are benefits of pet support during divorce without the live-in component of a pet!

In conclusion, get a pet… Jokes aside, if you happen to be looking for someone loving to share your time with and come home to, consider getting a pet. The benefits of pet support during divorce greatly outweigh the drawbacks, like middle of the night potty breaks or the walks in the rain.

Common Divorce Mistakes: What to Avoid

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how important divorce is, you’re going to want to do it the right way. That means avoiding some common divorce mistakes. These mistakes can really make your divorce a lot harder than it should be…

Common Divorce Mistakes

Being confrontational

One of the common divorce mistakes is being too hostile or angry at your ex. Divorce can cause you to experience a lot of negative emotions, and anger certainly can be one of them. Usually, people will get angry at their ex because they blame them for what went wrong or the divorce itself.

This anger is going to make it hard to get anything done in a productive manner. Plus, it’ll make your position look a lot worse to someone like a judge. Therefore, despite what you might feel inside, it’s important to remain calm and cordial when interacting with your ex.

Refusing to cooperate

Another of the common divorce mistakes is when exes refuse to cooperate. Much like with being angry at your ex, it’s also easy to see why you wouldn’t want to work with them. After all, if your marriage didn’t work out, then how will things suddenly work now? However, you’d be surprised at how important it is.

Both you and your ex are going to want the most positive outcome possible. Being willing to work together and cooperatewill let you achieve that. As you find compromises , you’ll both end up with results that you’re satisfied with. This is better than trying to fight one another, and having no one end up happy with the outcome.

Not having support

A lack of support is one of the common divorce mistakes people don’t realize until it’s too late. Some people think that they either don’t need the help, or don’t want to “burden” others with their issues. As a result, they’ll try and tackle their divorce, and the emotions it brings, by themselves.

Usually, this has a negative effect on both the divorce, and a person’s emotional well-being. The thing is, support is very important for processing those strong emotions and starting the healing process. That’s why you shouldn’t be afraid to seek help from family, friends, counselors, or support groups.

Working Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After your divorce, you’ll probably want to boost your income. One good way to do that is by working post-divorce. However, if you haven’t worked in a while, it can feel a bit intimidating. Still, there’s a few steps you can take to get yourself prepared…

Working Post-Divorce: Getting Prepared

Determine your interests

Before you start working post-divorce, it’s important to determine what exactly you’d like to do. For instance, maybe you’d like to do the work you were doing before your marriage. You already have experience and the basic knowledge down, which can make it easier to start again.

Or, you might want to expand your horizons. In that case, it’s good to start doing some research. Consider what exactly it is you’d like to do, and what sort of jobs would fulfill that desire. You can also see what job fields tend to be hiring, as well as which ones pay better than others.

Improve your skills

Another good thing you should do before working post-divorce is to boost your skills. Even if you haven’t been working for a short while, industries are always making new advancements. Therefore, it might be useful to take something like a computer skills course, which will help you get familiar with the latest programs.

However, you might need something more-intensive, especially if you want to pursue a new career. In these cases, it’s useful to get some more education. You can accomplish this by taking courses at a nearby college. Community colleges in particular are a great way to improve your skills at a lower cost.

Refine your resume

A good resume is important for working post-divorce. After all, just because you haven’t been working doesn’t mean you don’t have marketable skills. Even things like volunteer work or other leadership positions can help boost your chances with a potential employer.

It also helps to have another pair of eyes check your resume. Let a friend or two read over it and check for any spelling or other grammatical errors. A career counselor can also help you make sure that your resume stand out.