Finding New Hobbies After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Finding new hobbies after divorce can be a great way to get out of the house, feel social, and meet new people. And as you improve at a new hobby, you’ll get a boost of self-confidence. It’s normal to want to isolate yourself after divorce, but it can lead to loneliness. So getting out of the house and trying a new class, exercise, or craft can be a great way to break up the monotony. It’s also a great way to meet new people, or even a new partner eventually. Explore different options and get outside of your comfort zone to try something completely new. If you feel overwhelmed or nervous to start, consider bringing a friend along for support. Hopefully, you’ll find a new passion and enjoy improving at your new skill.

Finding New Hobbies After Divorce: Boost Your Confidence

Improve Confidence

One of the reasons why finding new hobbies after divorce is so important is because it can boost confidence. Many people experience insecurity after a divorce, and it’s normal to feel a little less confident than usual. But as you improve at a new skill, it naturally can boost your confidence and make you feel proud of yourself. Having small goals to reach for can also give you something to focus on that can distract you from your divorce.

Meet New People

Another reason why finding new hobbies after divorce is helpful is because it’s a great way to meet new people. You might find new friends to connect with, or even meet a potential new date. Try to be open and friendly to others in an exercise or craft class, or consider joining a meet-up group.

Explore Some Options

When finding new hobbies after divorce, it’s best to get out of your comfort zone and explore some new things. You never know if you have a passion for something until you try it. So consider signing up for a few classes. You might explore new types of exercise like a hiking group, running club, or yoga class. Or hobby classes like painting, ceramics, or acting. If you’re passionate about something, see if there are workshops in your area so you can improve your skills.

Bring a Friend

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with trying to find hobbies after a divorce, it can be helpful to bring a friend along for the ride. Starting something new, or joining a class with strangers can be a little intimidating. Ask a friend or family member to come along with you so that you have somebody to talk to or laugh with after the class.

Finding new hobbies after divorce can be incredibly helpful when it comes to moving on and processing your emotions. It’s normal to want to isolate yourself or stay home when you are experiencing something stressful like a divorce. However, getting out of the house, trying new things, and meeting new people can actually make you feel a lot better, and can boost your self-confidence. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things like an exercise or craft class in something you’ve never tried. You might consider joining a meet-up group so that you can easily meet new people, or bring a friend along if you’re feeling intimidated. You never know when you’ll find your next passion in life, or when you’ll meet a new friend. Plus, when you feel like you’re ready to explore dating again, it can be a great way to meet new potential partners.

Hung Up on Your Ex: What to Do

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you are divorced and still hung up on your ex, it can be hard to get through the day to day of your new life. It’s normal to experience some emotional ups and downs during the divorce process and after it is finalized. But for some, moving forward can be more difficult than for others. And it can take some time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t let anybody pressure you to move on before you feel ready. Take time to confront your grief about your marriage ending. Establish healthy routines for yourself like getting out of the house, getting exercise, focusing on your own happiness, and taking time for your mental health. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things instead of isolating yourself at home. Finally, lean on your support group or consider therapy to really get to the bottom of your lingering feelings. Hopefully, you can get the support you need to begin moving forward.

Hung Up on Your Ex: What to Do and How to Begin to Move On

Confront Your Feelings

If you feel that you’re hung up on your ex, it’s important to really accept your emotions. Many try to deny how they feel, or pretend that a divorce is not a big deal. However, even if you decided mutually to break up, the end of a marriage is still a reason to grieve. Not only are you losing an important person from your everyday life, but a future that you envisioned for yourself for a long time. Allow yourself to grieve and experience the roller coaster of emotions without trying to tamp them down.

Establish Healthy Routines

Another thing that can be helpful if you’re hung up on your ex is to establish some healthy routines. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is important. So try to get outside for some exercise for a little while every day. Eat a balanced meal filled with whole foods, and drink plenty of water. Finally, try to get into a healthy sleep routine so you can be your happiest self. If you struggle to fall asleep, consider getting blackout curtains or a sleep mask. You might also try things like white noise machines, calming music, or a long bath before bed to wind down.

Try New Things

It’s normal for people who are grieving to want to isolate themselves. But this can make it more difficult to move on. So force yourself out of the house each day, and try to be as social as you can be. Invite friends over or ask them to include you in plans so that you don’t feel lonely. Get out and try new activities, like a new hobby or exercise class. Learning a new skill can help you build some self-confidence, especially if you set some small and attainable goals for yourself. Staying busy means less time to focus on your ex.

Get Support

Finally, if you’re hung up your ex, you’ll need to rely on support from friends and family. If you’re feeling especially emotional, call a friend or ask a neighbor to take a walk with you. Speaking to a therapist can also be extremely helpful. They can help you process your emotions, find healthy coping techniques for stress, and help you navigate the grieving process. If you are feeling depressed, speak to your doctor or find support from a grief counselor. There are also things like support groups or meetup groups for divorcees that might allow you to connect to others who have been in a similar situation.

Moving on after a divorce can take different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t try to compare yourself to friends that have been through divorce. Instead, give yourself some grace and patience, and take as long as you need to. If you feel like you’re hung up on your ex, it can make it even harder to move on from the divorce. Don’t try to cover up your feelings, but instead, confront them. It’s okay to take some time to grieve the end of your marriage. Try to take care of your mental and physical health by getting into healthy routines like exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, and getting plenty of sleep. Try to get out of the house and try new things instead of isolating yourself. Learning new skills can help you build confidence and can be a great distraction from thoughts of your ex. Finally, get support from friends or family, or from a therapist to help you begin to move on. Hopefully, you can start to heal from your divorce and begin focusing on the next chapter of your life without grieving your ex too much.

Divorce Coach: Emotional Support Through Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how difficult divorce can be, you might want to look for some extra help. One useful resource may be a divorce coach. A coach can really help you develop some strategies for tackling your divorce and its challenges…

Divorce Coach: How They Can Help

Plan out your path

It’s not to uncommon for people to feel aimless during their divorce. They might not know where to start, or what they need to do. All of this can quickly get overwhelming, and make things all the more difficult. However, a divorce coach can help you plan out each step and make your divorce a bit more easier.

Plus, a coach doesn’t only have to help you with the divorce itself. They can also help you make some post-divorce life plans as well. That way, not only can you figure out the steps for your divorce, but you can also have those first post-divorce life steps figured out too. That peace of mind can really help you mentally during your divorce.

Talking to your ex

Depending on your divorce situation, you might not be able to simply not talk to your ex anymore. For example, if you and your ex have kids, then you’ll probably have to learn to communicate as co-parents. However, this presents its own set of issues. A divorce coach can help you overcome these issues and make talking to one another easier.

Coaches can help you figure out where you both might have some common ground. Then, from there you can both work together on developing a parenting plan. Of course, this might cause some tensions, especially if your divorce wasn’t so smooth. Still, a coach can also help you figure out what to do when things go sideways.

Manage your emotions

Divorce makes plenty of people’s emotions run a little high. Of course, this can be difficult to deal with. More often than not, these emotions can really make it hard to get through your divorce in a good head-space. That’s where a divorce coach can certainly come in handy.

A coach can help you figure out your emotions, and get a better handle on them. This is especially invaluable for when you have to talk to your ex, or have to handle other divorce matters. Having your emotions well under control can ensure you make the right decisions at the right times.

Negative Divorce Behavior

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can leave you stressed and confused, even if it’s amicable. This can potentially cause you to engage in some negative divorce behavior. Avoiding this behavior is crucial for getting through your divorce as smoothly as possible…

Negative Divorce Behavior: Avoiding Nasty Habits

Refusing to talk

Communication problems are an example of negative divorce behavior which can really set you back. Understandably, if you feel hurt because of the divorce, you might not want to talk to your ex all that much. This is especially true if things ended on very negative terms. However, this can end up making things difficult for you.

Being able to communicate with your ex means you can both work on the divorce outcome. You can come to an agreement which works for you both much easier when you can communicate. Still, you might not be up for face-to-face meetings yet. In that case, you can use things like email or phone calls to get the job done.

Place unfair blame

Playing the “blame game” is also another type of negative divorce behavior to avoid. The problem with placing blame is that it’s a very natural response to divorce. After all, it’s easy to say that your ex is behind all the reasons why things didn’t work out. Still, this is going to have some negative side-effects for you and your divorce.

For starters, it’s going to make it hard for your ex to want to talk to you if you blame them all the time. Also, it means you aren’t reflecting on what you might have done yourself that contributed to the divorce. Remember, a marriage is a two-person matter; both of you need to be able to reflect and learn from what’s happened.

Rushing to move on

You probably want to move on from your divorce as soon as you can. However, you have to be careful not to rush too quickly. Trying to rush to get through everything is a form of negative divorce behavior that many people tend to struggle with.

For instance, they might try and rush through the divorce, which usually leaves them without the outcome they wanted. Sometimes, they might rush into dating again too soon, in an effort to replace the loneliness they feel. Instead, it’s much better to take your time and handle things right, rather than by rushing.

Post-Divorce Boundaries: Making Changes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce brings about a lot of changes. One of the changes that can be quite hard to adjust to is the new boundaries. What might’ve been “normal” before can become intrusive or unwelcome. Therefore, it’s time to set some post-divorce boundaries between you and your former spouse. What feels right? What needs a change? And how can these boundaries help you improve your quality of life? Everyone is different, as are there needs. So, it’s time to find what works for you.

Post-Divorce Boundaries: Setting What Feels Right

Spousal Boundaries

The first post-divorce boundaries that people will look to set is with their former spouse. It can feel like there’s so many things that have to be change that it can seem overwhelming. However, it all depends on what you and your spouse feel comfortable with. For example, if you both feel comfortable talking to each other, you can still keep doing so.

But, if things get uncomfortable, or if you’re dealing with an angry spouse, than you’ll probably want to set some post-divorce boundaries. This can be talking only through text/phone calls, or through your lawyers. This similar approach can be applied to other areas like living arrangements and child visitation. Figure out what you and your spouse are comfortable with, and set the boundaries as they become needed.

Boundaries For Personal Obligations

Another set of divorce boundaries to consider are those for personal obligations. Divorce can be draining, and other activities can take up time and energy you might need for it. That’s why it helps to set boundaries for your obligations. Focus on figuring out what you really like and consider taking a break from the rest. This can include things like projects, clubs, and volunteer work. Most people will understand that you need a break while your divorce is going on, and you can add them back into your schedule once the divorce is over.

Boundaries For Friends and Family

Your friends and family can be a great source of support while going through a divorce. However, there can be things about your divorce you don’t want to discuss with them. This is where it helps to establish post-divorce boundaries for them. If your friends or family offer unsolicited advice, it’s okay to tell them something like “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t want to talk about that right now”. Don’t be afraid to be a bit more direct too if they don’t get the message. It’s best to let them know where the boundaries are now so they don’t keep crossing over them inadvertently.

Your divorce is your business. Setting post-divorce boundaries can help make sure you keep it that way. Not only will it make you feel more comfortable, but setting these boundaries will help you have a sense of control over what can be an uneasy time.

Second Marriage Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Getting remarried can be exciting, but for a lot of couples, it’ll end in divorce again. There’s a few different reasons behind second marriage divorce. Knowing the reasons can help you see where most of these second attempts go wrong…

Second Marriage Divorce: Why They Occur

Marrying for the wrong reasons

One common reason for second marriage divorce is when people get married for the wrong reasons. After a divorce, people tend to feel pretty lonely and have low self-esteem. This can make them cling onto the first person who shows them any interest.

A person might do this, despite not knowing this other person all to well. However, due to not wanting to be alone, they may try and rush into a new marriage, thinking they’re in love. Eventually, the reality sets in, and they realize things aren’t going to work out.

Issues from the past

Baggage from the previous marriage is also a common reason for second marriage divorce. Understandably, getting divorced is going to have a bit of an impact. For example, it might make you reluctant to open up to your partner. Or, you might constantly worry that they’re going to cheat on you.

This baggage can make it hard for a second marriage to succeed. If you’re constantly doubting or hiding things from your partner, they’re going to feel like you don’t appreciate or trust them. This can eventually reach the point where another divorce is on the horizon.

Experience from before

Previous divorce experience can make a second marriage divorce more likely to occur. The thing is, if you’ve divorced already, then you know what it’s like. Odds are, you’ve learned some pretty important lessons about what you should or shouldn’t do. This can make the process not that scary anymore.

Therefore, if your new marriage isn’t going how you like, then you won’t be as afraid of divorce like you were in the past. Instead, you know what you need to do and how to get through it in one piece. Rather than being stuck in another bad marriage, you’ll be more willing to cut it off and keep looking.

Divorce Fears: Facing Uncertainty

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can be a pretty intimidating thing, even if you’ve given it a lot of thought. It’s not uncommon to have some divorce fears because of this. However, it is possible to overcome these worries, and pull off a divorce you’ll be confident in…

Divorce Fears: Common Worries

Spouse reacting poorly

One of the divorce fears which is common has to do with breaking the news to one’s spouse. Many people worry about how their partner will take the news. Some are afraid that they’ll get very angry at them. Others worry they’ll react in some other emotional way that they won’t know how to handle.

The thing is, you won’t know how they’ll react until you tell them. Still, you can make it much more likely for them to react in a more understanding manner. Plus, if you can keep things calm, and show a willingness to listen to what they have to say, that can also help prevent things from getting out of hand.

Too much to handle

Another one of the common divorce fears is that divorce will be overwhelming. There’s going to be a lot of different things that you’ll have to figure out while divorce. That’ll include things like co-parenting plans, who will get what, potential moves, etc. There’s also matters related to the divorce, such as if you’ll need to take time off of work or even find a new job.

All of these can feel impossible to manage at first. But it’s important to not let those fears take over. Instead, take some time and really hash out all of these details one at a time. Once you develop basic plans for each of them, they become a lot easier to manage.

Uncertain future

Divorce fears can even extend into what’ll happen once the divorce is over. In fact, most people are worried about how uncertain things will be. Usually, this comes with thoughts about if they made the right decision, or how things like future relationships will go.

Much like with those fears about bringing divorce up, there’s no way to see the future. However, what you can do is work on making the post-divorce life you want a reality. Taking those proper steps once your divorce is over can help put those fears to rest and instead make you optimistic for what’s ahead.

How to Heal from Divorce Trauma

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce trauma is a very real problem that can create issues for many aspects of your life. The stress of the divorce process is often compared to the stress of a loved one dying. It can create lasting emotional scars that can be quite difficult to heal from. It’s important to take some time to acknowledge the trauma. It’s also helpful to give yourself plenty of time and space to grieve. Therapy can be very helpful for dealing with the emotional damage of divorce as well. And finally, there are support groups for divorcees that many find to be very helpful. Hopefully, you can find the emotional support you need to begin the healing process and start to move on towards the next chapter in your life.

How to Heal from Divorce Trauma: Finding Yourself Again

Why is Divorce Traumatic?

Divorce trauma can create similar symptoms to PTSD. It can leave people with difficulties sleeping, negative thoughts about themselves, feelings of isolation, or a loss of interest in normal activities. Going through a divorce means changing everything about your life and the life that you thought you were going to live. And in reality, it is similar to a death in that you are losing a future you envisioned for yourself. Trauma from this type of upheaval can be serious and can impact all aspects of your life.

Acknowledge and Grieve

To help heal from divorce trauma, make sure that you acknowledge the trauma itself. Don’t try to write off your feelings. And don’t let others make you feel like you are overreacting to the situation. Instead, accept that this is an event that deserves grieving. Take the time to feel the emotional ups and downs of the divorce process. Everybody grieves in their way and on their schedule. So take as much time as you need.

Therapy

Therapy can be very helpful for divorce trauma, and there are many different kinds of therapy. For instance, talk therapy can be helpful so that you can organize your thoughts and feelings. Art therapy, creative therapy, or animal therapy can also be helpful for many. These types of therapies give you something else to focus on, and many find them soothing for stress.

Support Groups

Finally, support groups can be very helpful if you are experiencing divorce trauma. There are many people out there who are going through the divorce process. They can better understand exactly how you’re feeling and what struggles you might have. In addition, they provide an outlet for you to share your experiences which can be therapeutic. It’s easy to find local divorce support groups near you.

Divorce trauma can feel overwhelming at times and can create difficulties in all aspects of your life. An intensely stressful divorce can leave you with the same symptoms as other forms of trauma. So make sure that you acknowledge these feelings. Take the time to grieve the life you believed you were going to have. And remember that you are on your schedule and can take as much time as you need. In addition, therapy can be extremely helpful for many people experiencing stress and trauma. And finally, support groups for divorcees can also be very helpful. Search online to find local groups near you that fit your schedule. It can take a while, but healing from divorce trauma is possible in time. Hopefully, you can find the support you need to begin moving through your grief.

Common Divorce Mistakes: What to Avoid

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how important divorce is, you’re going to want to do it the right way. That means avoiding some common divorce mistakes. These mistakes can really make your divorce a lot harder than it should be…

Common Divorce Mistakes

Being confrontational

One of the common divorce mistakes is being too hostile or angry at your ex. Divorce can cause you to experience a lot of negative emotions, and anger certainly can be one of them. Usually, people will get angry at their ex because they blame them for what went wrong or the divorce itself.

This anger is going to make it hard to get anything done in a productive manner. Plus, it’ll make your position look a lot worse to someone like a judge. Therefore, despite what you might feel inside, it’s important to remain calm and cordial when interacting with your ex.

Refusing to cooperate

Another of the common divorce mistakes is when exes refuse to cooperate. Much like with being angry at your ex, it’s also easy to see why you wouldn’t want to work with them. After all, if your marriage didn’t work out, then how will things suddenly work now? However, you’d be surprised at how important it is.

Both you and your ex are going to want the most positive outcome possible. Being willing to work together and cooperatewill let you achieve that. As you find compromises , you’ll both end up with results that you’re satisfied with. This is better than trying to fight one another, and having no one end up happy with the outcome.

Not having support

A lack of support is one of the common divorce mistakes people don’t realize until it’s too late. Some people think that they either don’t need the help, or don’t want to “burden” others with their issues. As a result, they’ll try and tackle their divorce, and the emotions it brings, by themselves.

Usually, this has a negative effect on both the divorce, and a person’s emotional well-being. The thing is, support is very important for processing those strong emotions and starting the healing process. That’s why you shouldn’t be afraid to seek help from family, friends, counselors, or support groups.

Divorce with Adult Children: The Challenges

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Going through a divorce with adult children still presents problems for families. While it may be easier for an adult child to understand the situation better than a younger child, there are still challenges that a family will face.

Divorce with Adult Children: Things to Expect

Emotional Stress

It’s easy to think that divorce will only hurt young children, but divorce with adult children can be challenging too. It can still certainly emotionally affect their grown children. Parents will lean more on their adult children for emotional support, which may not happen with younger children. The parents share more about their personal details with adult children, which can lead to the children feeling uncomfortable and taking sides.

Grown children can also be angrier with their parents, because they think their parents should have divorced earlier. They can carry guilt if they find out their parents only stayed together in an unhappy marriage just for their sake.

Be Understanding and Supportive

While parents are entitled to separate if they choose to, it’s important that the parents try to speak to their kids with facts instead of with emotion. The act of divorce is emotional. However, joking or making rude comments about the other parent is harmful and can lead to a divide.

While divorce with adult children will not lead to custody battles or switching homes during the week, it can still have other implications. Adult children may need space and time to accept that their parents are getting a divorce, so make sure they are given that space if they need it.

Celebrating Holidays

When going through a divorce with adult children, you will still see issues around holidays. This could include trying to determine where the family will spend Thanksgiving or Christmas. If the divorce is amicable, then the best solution will be to try and get the family together and celebrate as one unit. If the divorce was messy, then you may need to split the two holidays with your former spouse. Another option would be to celebrate those holidays on different days than your ex is.

While many people may not think of the tolls of divorce on grown children, it certainly can affect them. It may affect them in different way than it does young kids, but it still will be difficult. Don’t dismiss their feelings and try to work through this difficult together.