Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Running into your ex after a divorce might be an experience you’re absolutely dreading. If you and your ex parted ways in a bitter divorce battle, the thought of running into them might have you sweating. But unfortunately, if you live in the same area, the chances are high that you’ll see them at some point. If you have children together, it’s even more likely that you’ll see them at events for your kids. Establish boundaries at the outset of your divorce. Keep living your life though – don’t avoid places you enjoy just because your ex might be there. If you do see them, try not to make a scene or get into an argument. Remember, taking the high road is almost always the best policy. Hopefully, you and your ex will learn to co-exist peacefully in the same city and you won’t fear running into them forever.

Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Establish Boundaries

Running into your ex after a divorce can be a bit of a shock if you see them unexpectedly. However, you can establish boundaries with them during the divorce itself. If there are certain classes you take together, or activities you both participate in, you can figure out whether or not to continue these. If you do not want to see each other, you can establish that early. You can handle children’s events the same way. If you’d rather not run into them, plan to divvy up events so that you don’t overlap with each other.

Keep Living Your Life

After running into your ex after a divorce, you might be tempted to avoid that place where you saw them. But really, it’s possible to run into them anywhere. If you avoid every place you think that they might show up, you’ll end up limiting your own happiness. Keep living your life. If you run into them, you run into them. Avoiding places you enjoy will just make you unhappy in the end, and gives them all the power that you fought hard for.

Don’t Make a Scene

If the dreaded event occurs, try not to make a scene. Running into your ex after a divorce might be a shock to the system. But making a public scene is really not the solution. You’ve already hashed out your divorce, so arguing after the fact will get you nowhere. You two got divorced for a reason, it’s unlikely that you’ll change their minds about anything or that they’ll change yours.

Take the High Road

Running into your ex after a divorce can happen anytime. And it’s possible that you’ll also meet their new partner or they’ll meet your new partner. It’s always best to take the high road. Try to speak with confidence and don’t stoop to arguing with them or acting bitter. The happier you seem after your divorce, the more they’ll realize what a great catch you were that they let go. Act politely, calmly, and with confidence, and keep the encounter short. Running into your ex after a divorce is just one of many painful milestones that you probably will face during a separation. However, living in fear of it will only make you unhappy. Don’t avoid places where you think you might run into your ex because then you’ll just be limiting your own freedom. You can set boundaries at the outset of your divorce so that you know you won’t run into them any more than is needed. If it does happen, try to remain calm and speak with confidence. Don’t make a public scene or try to get into an argument over your divorce. Take the high road and show that you have moved on maturely. Hopefully, you won’t run into them often, but when you do you’ll be able to handle it with confidence and grace.

Anxious Teen: Co-Parenting Woes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Going through a divorce as a parent can be tough. After all, you don’t want to make things harder for your kids, especially if you have an anxious teen. With how tough being a teenager can be, it’s good for you and your ex to keep these key things in mind when co-parenting…

Anxious Teen: How To Help

Have clear boundaries

During this time, an anxious teen is going to need your support more than ever. Even if they appear to be distant, they still want to have your love and spend time with you. Still, you need to make sure that you have good boundaries because of this.

Mainly, you want to avoid talking about things related to their other parent with them. Don’t use them as a source for venting your frustrations. This will just make them more anxious, especially when they’re with their other parent. Instead, focus on what you can do together to improve your bond.

Set a good example

It’s important that you set a good example for your anxious teen. Studies have shown that teens are very much influenced by how their parents act. For instance, children of parents who tend to fight and argue a lot tends to have higher rates of anxiety and depression.

On the other hand, children of positive and supportive parents are much happier and recover from a divorce faster. This is a time where your teen is going to be trying to figure out who exactly they are. By being a good role model, you’ll help them find some positive answers to those questions.

Encourage co-parent connection

If you feel pretty poorly towards your ex, then you may be wary about letting your anxious teen spend time with them. However, this can result in your teen feeling “alienated” towards their other parent. Not only will this harm their relationship with their parent, but it’ll also cause conflict between you and your ex.

Your child needs to get support from both you and their other parent. At this point in their lives, they need to know that their parents still love them. Therefore, encourage your teen to spend time with their other parent, even on days where they may say they “aren’t in the mood.” They’ll quickly realize how important this time is.

Staying Friends with Your Ex: Post Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Not all divorces have to end poorly. It is possible to stay friends with your ex after a divorce. This may not be an immediate instant thing, but it is possible. However, you have many memories and experiences together, and know each other in a way that nobody else does. Just because you are no longer a romantic couple doesn’t mean you have to lose the great friendship you once had. This may be easier for some parties than others, and impossible for some all together.

Staying Friends with Your Ex: Tips

Time

The first key to staying friends with your ex is time. Divorce is never easy, no matter who initiated it. You may need time to heal and forgive. Give yourself time to work through your feelings. This could range from anger, sadness, denial, disgust, self-pity, or relief. It is important to take the time to grieve the loss of the relationship. Do not be afraid to cry. Have a girls night, or talk with someone about the feelings you are having.

Move Slowly

Do not expect it to be a quick process when trying to stay friends with your ex. Just because you want to be friends does not mean that relationship has to start as soon as the divorce papers are signed. You have to move at a pace that is right for both you and your partner. Remember, there was a reason that one of you broke things off in the first place.

If you are co-parenting, there is the chance for a family together to allow the new friendship to develop. For example, you could schedule family activities together like game night or weekly dinner together. Just take baby steps.

No Intimacy

Intimacy could complicate things. Just because you are wanting to stay friends with your ex does not open the door for intimacy. Do not let yourself fall into the trap that it is okay because you have done it before when you were married. The hormone that is released from intimacy is called oxytocin, and connects you to someone on a deep, emotional level. This could make things complicated, and lead you down a path that you do not want to go down. If you want to just be friends, and not friends with benefits, with your ex, stay away from intimacy.

Build Trust

After everything that happened before and during the divorce, it may feel difficult to trust one another. However, trust is an important part to becoming friends with your ex. A good place to start rebuilding trust is to follow through on what you say you will do. You should also tell the truth, keep your promises, and not bad mouth your ex to other people.

While staying friends with your ex may seem like a lofty goal, it is certainly possible by just following these steps. Remember, it will take time and may be a slow process, but work on building trust and a friendship may come in time.

Finding the Right Moment to Bring Up Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Finding the right moment to bring up divorce can mean the difference between getting an honest and thoughtful response from your partner or getting into a massive argument. Divorce is a bell that you cannot un-ring, so you should never just threaten it during a fight. Instead, you should put thought and time into your decision to even broach the subject, and feel confident that this is something you want to bring up with your spouse. The dynamic of your relationship might change after the conversation, even if you wind up staying together. Make sure you find the right setting so that you can have an open and vulnerable conversation. Start things off on the right foot by explaining where you are coming from and that you’ve put a lot of thought into this. Finally, be prepared for many different reactions. You might need to be patient and let your spouse think about the things you’ve said for a while and process. Hopefully, you both will wind up on the same page as far as the future of your relationship goes.

Finding the Right Moment to Bring Up Divorce: Planning Ahead

Not During a Fight

When finding the right moment to bring up divorce with your spouse, the most important thing to remember is not to do it during a fight. Throwing around divorce when you are extremely upset will make it seem like an idle threat, and can be very harmful to your relationship. Your partner might not realize that you are serious about your intentions, and it might come across as if you haven’t put any thought into it. Threatening divorce during fights can weaken your partner’s trust in you and can eventually cause damage to your marriage.

Right Setting

Finding the right moment to bring up divorce also means finding the right setting. You definitely don’t want to be overheard having this conversation, so choose someplace private. Your partner might also react emotionally, so make sure that you are alone together and not where others might see. Make sure that you and your spouse have plenty of uninterrupted time to discuss things, so make any childcare arrangements you need to to ensure that young ears aren’t overhearing you.

How to Begin the Conversation

Begin the conversation by letting them know that this isn’t a decision that you take lightly. Explain where you are coming from and the steps that you are taking to try to resolve issues with them before suggesting divorce. It can be helpful to let them know your thoughts, and then explain that you’d like to know how they are feeling about your relationship’s future as well. You might both be on the same page, or this might come as a shock to them. Be open to discussing things like marital counseling or a trial separation if they seem very reluctant to consider divorce.

Anticipating Possible Reactions

Finally, after finding the right moment to bring up divorce, you’ll need to give your partner some space to process the conversation. They might react in many different ways. They might become upset, cry, express anger, disbelief, hurt, or many other emotions. Try not to get defensive, and instead, let them know that you will be patient and give them time to think about your conversation. If things feel like they are heading towards an argument, excuse yourself from the conversation altogether and ask that you revisit things when you both have had time to think.

If you and your partner are on rocky ground and you are no longer happy in your marriage, it might be time to look at separating and moving down different paths in life. However, finding the right moment to bring up divorce can be difficult. You always want to ensure that your partner realizes this is something that you are giving a lot of thought to. So don’t bring up the topic during a fight or throw it around idly as a threat during arguments. Instead, find a quiet and private setting and make sure that you have plenty of uninterrupted time to discuss things. Let your partner know how much thought you are giving the idea of divorce, and tell them the reasons why you feel it’s the best option. Give them space to process their feelings and anticipate that they might have a lot of emotional reactions. If the conversation is devolving into an argument and doesn’t feel like it will be productive, give them space to think things over and revisit the conversation when you are both calmer. Hopefully, you both will be on the same page when it comes to your future and can move forward with an amicable divorce or can work on rebuilding your relationship back stronger than ever together.

How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Children

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be hard to know how to make divorce easier on your children. But divorce is incredibly hard on them as well as you. So it’s important to try and be aware of their needs and feelings. It’s important to reassure them frequently that the divorce is not related to them. In addition, always be a good listener when they want to talk about their feelings. Be a team with your ex, at least when it comes to the kids. Put aside your differences to make the transition easier for your children. And finally, get your children to help if they need it or ask for it. Divorce is hard on everybody, but your children will need your support.

How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Children: Help Your Kids Through It

Reassure Them

The most important thing to make divorce easier on your children is to constantly be reassuring. No matter what you or your partner tell them, children are very apt to blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Tell them repeatedly that they are not to blame. You also need to reassure them that their lives will settle back down soon. The divorce process can be hard, but knowing that their schedule will be more predictable in the future is helpful for kids. And finally, reassure them of how much you love them. Even older children are going through an especially fragile time and will need to hear it often.

Listen to Them

Another way to make divorce easier on your children is to listen to them. Some kids are very hesitant to talk about their parents’ divorce. Others have lots of questions and want to discuss their feelings. Don’t try to force your children to talk to you if they don’t want to. But when they do choose to talk, be a good listener. They may say things that upset you, but try to put their feelings first and listen to everything they say.

Be a Team

Being a team player with your ex can be hard. But it can make divorce easier on your children in the end. You may have your differences, and you may feel that your ex is in the wrong. However, your children still see them as loving parents. It’s important not to bad-mouth them in front of your kids. This can upset your children greatly. Try to at least work with your ex when it comes to coordinating schedules for your children so that their schedule stays somewhat dependable.

Get them Help

Finally, make divorce easier on your children by getting them help if they need it. Some children just may not be able to express their emotions in a healthy way. Or be able to talk to you about their feelings. If this is the case, consider talking to a child therapist. They might be able to really help your kids work through their emotions. A therapist or psychologist can be a neutral party for them to who they may feel more comfortable opening up.

Divorce can be incredibly stressful on kids, so it’s important to try and make divorce easier on your children. Try to always reassure them they are not to blame and that you love them. In addition, be a good listener if they want to talk to you about their feelings. Put aside hurt feelings in order to work together with your ex to keep your children’s schedules reliable. And finally, get them professional help if they need it or if they ask for it. Remember that as an adult, you’re better equipped to handle your emotions. Your children will need your help getting through what can be a very stressful time in their lives.

Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Divorce can often leave people questioning their self-esteem. Rebuilding confidence after a divorce is important so that you can begin to get back to living your best life. You can also have more confidence to grow and begin this new chapter of your life on a positive note. Try to refocus on old hobbies or passions that make you feel happy. Reconnecting with old friends can also boost your confidence. Many people find positive affirmations to be extremely helpful with boosting self-confidence. And finally, reach out and get help from a therapist if you feel like it would be helpful. Divorce can shatter your self-confidence, but it’s important to gain it back so you can focus on the exciting adventures to come.

Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce: Get Your Groove Back

Refocus on Old Hobbies

One way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Oftentimes, divorce can be extremely time-consuming and stressful. It’s hard to make time for hobbies. Now that your divorce is final, you can try to get back to hobbies you care about. If you’re a talented painter, make time to paint. Or try to find a new hobby like yoga or meditation. Finding things you’re passionate about can really boost your self-confidence as you hone new skills.

Reconnect with Old Friends

Another way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to reconnect with old friends. You might have lost touch with people in the stress of the divorce process. If that’s the case, take the time now to reach out to them. For example, ask a friend to dinner or for a quick coffee. They can help you process your feelings about the divorce. It’s also confidence-boosting to be around people you care about and who respect you.

Positive Affirmations

Many people find positive affirmations to be very helpful in rebuilding confidence after a divorce. Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself repeatedly in order to reprogram your brain to focus on positivity instead of negative self-talk. Many people find it helpful to write them where they’ll be seen frequently. For example, on the bathroom mirror so that they see them each morning as soon as they wake up. It could be something as simple as “I am worth loving.” Conversely, it could be something specific to yourself like “I will name three things I’m grateful for each morning as I brush my teeth.”

Get Help

Rebuilding confidence after a divorce can be difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to figure it out on your own. Try reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They’ll be able to help you with negative self-talk and self-doubt. They can often recommend ideas for boosting self-confidence. In addition, it can be very helpful just to have another person to vent your feelings to. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. Divorce can be very damaging to your self-confidence. If you’ve realized that you now have lower self-esteem it’s important to rebuild confidence after a divorce. Re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Finding things that you’re good at can to boost your confidence. Next, re-connect with old friends with who you’ve lost touch. In addition, many people find positive affirmations to be helpful with self-confidence. And finally, get help from a professional. A therapist or counselor is a great resource to use if you’re struggling with low self-esteem. If you can build back your self-confidence after a divorce, you can move on to the next exciting stage of life.

Divorce News: Making a Plan

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be hard to bring up divorce with your spouse. However, it can be even harder to break the divorce news to your kids. With how traumatic divorce can be for them, you want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible…

Divorce News: Telling The Kids

Tell them together

When breaking divorce news to your kids, it’s important you and your spouse tell them together. In effect, you’ll both want to maintain a united front. After all, you kids aren’t going to know what you know about the divorce or who suggested it. Doing it together helps tell them you’re still working together.

Also, this avoids sending them any mixed messages. If you tell them first, and your partner does later, it could confuse your kids. Plus, you won’t know what your partner could say. Doing this together is good for making sure you’re both on the same page.

Wait for a good time

Another thing to remember when breaking divorce news to the kids is that timing is key. You don’t want to decide on a divorce, and then immediately tell the kids. You’ll also want to avoid telling them when they’re already angry or upset due to something else. Instead, you should make sure the time is right.

Wait until you and your spouse are sure you’ll divorce, and have some kind of plan set in place. Then, be sure to tell the kids somewhere they feel comfortable, and when they aren’t already emotional. This will help ensure the potential shockisn’t made worse by outside factors.

Know what to tell them

Of course, if you’re breaking divorce news, you should know what exactly you’re going to say. Your kids don’t need all the specific details of what went wrong. Most of it probably won’t make sense to them, especially if they’re younger. Rather, you should give them reassurance and a plan for the future.

Be sure that your kids know they aren’t responsible for the divorce, and that you both still love them. This reassurance is important for helping them start to process what’s going on. Then, tell them what might be happening in the future. If they know what to expect, then it’ll be easier for them to prepare emotionally.

Finding New Hobbies After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Finding new hobbies after divorce can be a great way to get out of the house, feel social, and meet new people. And as you improve at a new hobby, you’ll get a boost of self-confidence. It’s normal to want to isolate yourself after divorce, but it can lead to loneliness. So getting out of the house and trying a new class, exercise, or craft can be a great way to break up the monotony. It’s also a great way to meet new people, or even a new partner eventually. Explore different options and get outside of your comfort zone to try something completely new. If you feel overwhelmed or nervous to start, consider bringing a friend along for support. Hopefully, you’ll find a new passion and enjoy improving at your new skill.

Finding New Hobbies After Divorce: Boost Your Confidence

Improve Confidence

One of the reasons why finding new hobbies after divorce is so important is because it can boost confidence. Many people experience insecurity after a divorce, and it’s normal to feel a little less confident than usual. But as you improve at a new skill, it naturally can boost your confidence and make you feel proud of yourself. Having small goals to reach for can also give you something to focus on that can distract you from your divorce.

Meet New People

Another reason why finding new hobbies after divorce is helpful is because it’s a great way to meet new people. You might find new friends to connect with, or even meet a potential new date. Try to be open and friendly to others in an exercise or craft class, or consider joining a meet-up group.

Explore Some Options

When finding new hobbies after divorce, it’s best to get out of your comfort zone and explore some new things. You never know if you have a passion for something until you try it. So consider signing up for a few classes. You might explore new types of exercise like a hiking group, running club, or yoga class. Or hobby classes like painting, ceramics, or acting. If you’re passionate about something, see if there are workshops in your area so you can improve your skills.

Bring a Friend

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with trying to find hobbies after a divorce, it can be helpful to bring a friend along for the ride. Starting something new, or joining a class with strangers can be a little intimidating. Ask a friend or family member to come along with you so that you have somebody to talk to or laugh with after the class.

Finding new hobbies after divorce can be incredibly helpful when it comes to moving on and processing your emotions. It’s normal to want to isolate yourself or stay home when you are experiencing something stressful like a divorce. However, getting out of the house, trying new things, and meeting new people can actually make you feel a lot better, and can boost your self-confidence. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things like an exercise or craft class in something you’ve never tried. You might consider joining a meet-up group so that you can easily meet new people, or bring a friend along if you’re feeling intimidated. You never know when you’ll find your next passion in life, or when you’ll meet a new friend. Plus, when you feel like you’re ready to explore dating again, it can be a great way to meet new potential partners.

Hung Up on Your Ex: What to Do

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you are divorced and still hung up on your ex, it can be hard to get through the day to day of your new life. It’s normal to experience some emotional ups and downs during the divorce process and after it is finalized. But for some, moving forward can be more difficult than for others. And it can take some time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t let anybody pressure you to move on before you feel ready. Take time to confront your grief about your marriage ending. Establish healthy routines for yourself like getting out of the house, getting exercise, focusing on your own happiness, and taking time for your mental health. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things instead of isolating yourself at home. Finally, lean on your support group or consider therapy to really get to the bottom of your lingering feelings. Hopefully, you can get the support you need to begin moving forward.

Hung Up on Your Ex: What to Do and How to Begin to Move On

Confront Your Feelings

If you feel that you’re hung up on your ex, it’s important to really accept your emotions. Many try to deny how they feel, or pretend that a divorce is not a big deal. However, even if you decided mutually to break up, the end of a marriage is still a reason to grieve. Not only are you losing an important person from your everyday life, but a future that you envisioned for yourself for a long time. Allow yourself to grieve and experience the roller coaster of emotions without trying to tamp them down.

Establish Healthy Routines

Another thing that can be helpful if you’re hung up on your ex is to establish some healthy routines. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is important. So try to get outside for some exercise for a little while every day. Eat a balanced meal filled with whole foods, and drink plenty of water. Finally, try to get into a healthy sleep routine so you can be your happiest self. If you struggle to fall asleep, consider getting blackout curtains or a sleep mask. You might also try things like white noise machines, calming music, or a long bath before bed to wind down.

Try New Things

It’s normal for people who are grieving to want to isolate themselves. But this can make it more difficult to move on. So force yourself out of the house each day, and try to be as social as you can be. Invite friends over or ask them to include you in plans so that you don’t feel lonely. Get out and try new activities, like a new hobby or exercise class. Learning a new skill can help you build some self-confidence, especially if you set some small and attainable goals for yourself. Staying busy means less time to focus on your ex.

Get Support

Finally, if you’re hung up your ex, you’ll need to rely on support from friends and family. If you’re feeling especially emotional, call a friend or ask a neighbor to take a walk with you. Speaking to a therapist can also be extremely helpful. They can help you process your emotions, find healthy coping techniques for stress, and help you navigate the grieving process. If you are feeling depressed, speak to your doctor or find support from a grief counselor. There are also things like support groups or meetup groups for divorcees that might allow you to connect to others who have been in a similar situation.

Moving on after a divorce can take different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t try to compare yourself to friends that have been through divorce. Instead, give yourself some grace and patience, and take as long as you need to. If you feel like you’re hung up on your ex, it can make it even harder to move on from the divorce. Don’t try to cover up your feelings, but instead, confront them. It’s okay to take some time to grieve the end of your marriage. Try to take care of your mental and physical health by getting into healthy routines like exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, and getting plenty of sleep. Try to get out of the house and try new things instead of isolating yourself. Learning new skills can help you build confidence and can be a great distraction from thoughts of your ex. Finally, get support from friends or family, or from a therapist to help you begin to move on. Hopefully, you can start to heal from your divorce and begin focusing on the next chapter of your life without grieving your ex too much.

Divorce Coach: Emotional Support Through Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how difficult divorce can be, you might want to look for some extra help. One useful resource may be a divorce coach. A coach can really help you develop some strategies for tackling your divorce and its challenges…

Divorce Coach: How They Can Help

Plan out your path

It’s not to uncommon for people to feel aimless during their divorce. They might not know where to start, or what they need to do. All of this can quickly get overwhelming, and make things all the more difficult. However, a divorce coach can help you plan out each step and make your divorce a bit more easier.

Plus, a coach doesn’t only have to help you with the divorce itself. They can also help you make some post-divorce life plans as well. That way, not only can you figure out the steps for your divorce, but you can also have those first post-divorce life steps figured out too. That peace of mind can really help you mentally during your divorce.

Talking to your ex

Depending on your divorce situation, you might not be able to simply not talk to your ex anymore. For example, if you and your ex have kids, then you’ll probably have to learn to communicate as co-parents. However, this presents its own set of issues. A divorce coach can help you overcome these issues and make talking to one another easier.

Coaches can help you figure out where you both might have some common ground. Then, from there you can both work together on developing a parenting plan. Of course, this might cause some tensions, especially if your divorce wasn’t so smooth. Still, a coach can also help you figure out what to do when things go sideways.

Manage your emotions

Divorce makes plenty of people’s emotions run a little high. Of course, this can be difficult to deal with. More often than not, these emotions can really make it hard to get through your divorce in a good head-space. That’s where a divorce coach can certainly come in handy.

A coach can help you figure out your emotions, and get a better handle on them. This is especially invaluable for when you have to talk to your ex, or have to handle other divorce matters. Having your emotions well under control can ensure you make the right decisions at the right times.