Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Running into your ex after a divorce might be an experience you’re absolutely dreading. If you and your ex parted ways in a bitter divorce battle, the thought of running into them might have you sweating. But unfortunately, if you live in the same area, the chances are high that you’ll see them at some point. If you have children together, it’s even more likely that you’ll see them at events for your kids. Establish boundaries at the outset of your divorce. Keep living your life though – don’t avoid places you enjoy just because your ex might be there. If you do see them, try not to make a scene or get into an argument. Remember, taking the high road is almost always the best policy. Hopefully, you and your ex will learn to co-exist peacefully in the same city and you won’t fear running into them forever.

Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Establish Boundaries

Running into your ex after a divorce can be a bit of a shock if you see them unexpectedly. However, you can establish boundaries with them during the divorce itself. If there are certain classes you take together, or activities you both participate in, you can figure out whether or not to continue these. If you do not want to see each other, you can establish that early. You can handle children’s events the same way. If you’d rather not run into them, plan to divvy up events so that you don’t overlap with each other.

Keep Living Your Life

After running into your ex after a divorce, you might be tempted to avoid that place where you saw them. But really, it’s possible to run into them anywhere. If you avoid every place you think that they might show up, you’ll end up limiting your own happiness. Keep living your life. If you run into them, you run into them. Avoiding places you enjoy will just make you unhappy in the end, and gives them all the power that you fought hard for.

Don’t Make a Scene

If the dreaded event occurs, try not to make a scene. Running into your ex after a divorce might be a shock to the system. But making a public scene is really not the solution. You’ve already hashed out your divorce, so arguing after the fact will get you nowhere. You two got divorced for a reason, it’s unlikely that you’ll change their minds about anything or that they’ll change yours.

Take the High Road

Running into your ex after a divorce can happen anytime. And it’s possible that you’ll also meet their new partner or they’ll meet your new partner. It’s always best to take the high road. Try to speak with confidence and don’t stoop to arguing with them or acting bitter. The happier you seem after your divorce, the more they’ll realize what a great catch you were that they let go. Act politely, calmly, and with confidence, and keep the encounter short. Running into your ex after a divorce is just one of many painful milestones that you probably will face during a separation. However, living in fear of it will only make you unhappy. Don’t avoid places where you think you might run into your ex because then you’ll just be limiting your own freedom. You can set boundaries at the outset of your divorce so that you know you won’t run into them any more than is needed. If it does happen, try to remain calm and speak with confidence. Don’t make a public scene or try to get into an argument over your divorce. Take the high road and show that you have moved on maturely. Hopefully, you won’t run into them often, but when you do you’ll be able to handle it with confidence and grace.

Looking Your Best for Divorce Court

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Looking your best for divorce court might not seem all that important, but first impressions matter. The American justice system is old-fashioned and most judges prefer people to dress respectfully in the courtroom. This means having a professional-looking hairstyle and clothing. In addition, personal style is important, but in the courtroom, it’s best to just keep it somewhat plain and simple. Looking best probably won’t affect your outcome in any major way, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.

Looking Your Best for Divorce Court: Clothing and Style

Why It Matters

Looking your best for divorce court is important because our justice system is very old-fashioned. Many judges prefer that everybody in the courtroom wear professional clothing as a sign of respect for the court system itself. Attorneys still are mostly expected to wear suits, ties, or skirts. When dressing for court, wear what you might wear for a professional job interview.

Hair

Looking your best for divorce court means keeping your hairstyle to something non-flamboyant. For women, it’s best to style it in a polished-looking ponytail or down. A messy bun is probably not the most professional-looking style. For men, it’s best to keep a clean-cut look and tame facial hair. You might love rocking a blue-dyed mohawk in your everyday life, but in court, it’s best to tamper your wilder side down.

Clothing

In addition to your hair, your clothing should also be modest when looking your best for divorce court. You won’t be able to enter if you’re swearing sweats, shorts, flip flops, midriff-baring clothing, or clothes with inappropriate slogans. For men, it’s best to wear shoes and socks, dress pants belted at the waist, a button-down shirt tucked in, and a tie. You can choose to wear a jacket if you’d like. For women, a knee-length dress or skirt that covers your chest modestly will work, so will slacks with a classy blouse.

Style

Personal style is so important to represent who you are as a person. But looking your best for divorce court means looking modest, and sometimes that means tampering down your personal style for the day. If you have a lot of piercings, consider taking them out for court. If you prefer clothing with sequins or a lot of sparkles, consider goes with something more muted. In addition, loud or flashy jewelry or very long nails will probably not go over as well as a more clean-cut traditional style. Save your awesome unique sense of style for the outside world. Looking your best for divorce court is important because first impressions matter. The judge could potentially be making decisions that affect the rest of your life and your children’s lives. You want to strike the right chord with them from the outset. Start by wearing a traditional-looking hairstyle and modest clothing. You want to look like you might be heading to a job interview. Your personal style is important for your everyday life, but in court, it’s most important to look polished and professional. Once you walk out of the courtroom you can go back to showing off your own personal style!

Practicing Self-Care After Your Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you’ve gone through a divorce, you may feel like you’ve been through the wringer. Divorce can be incredibly painful and the stress of it is often compared to the stress of losing a loved one. Self-care after your divorce is so important for your mental health. You deserve to focus on yourself for a little while and heal. Do this by giving yourself time to grieve. Get back to your hobbies and interests. Reconnect with friends since you’ve most likely been very busy. And finally, accept help when it’s offered. You’ve been through so much, giving yourself some self-care is necessary for your mental well-being.

Practicing Self-Care After Your Divorce: Taking Time for Yourself

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

Self-care after your divorce starts with giving yourself time and space to experience emotions. You might have been feeling pressure to stay strong. You’ve also probably been very busy lately. You might not have had time really accept your new life. Take time to grieve the loss of your marriage and also the vision you had of your future. It’s okay to swing from emotion to emotion. Now that your divorce is final, you can take the time to feel all the emotions you’ve been too busy to really experience.

Get Back to Your Passions

Another way to practice self-care after your divorce is to get back to your passions. Maybe you had hobbies that you’ve been too stressed or busy to focus on lately. If so, take some time to get back into those. You can also try out a new hobby by taking a class. A bonus of this is that you also could meet new people by doing this. A new hobby can take your mind off of thinking about your divorce.

Reconnect with Friends

Self-care after your divorce should include reconnecting with friends. Sometimes people are hesitant to get together with friends while they go through the divorce process. This is because they don’t really want to discuss the divorce or are afraid of giving away information to a mutual friend. In addition, if you’ve been in a controlling relationship, your partner might not have even let you spend a lot of time with others. If you’ve fallen out of touch with friends for any of these reasons, now is the time to reconnect. Getting out of the house and socializing will help you take your mind off of your divorce.

Accept Help

Finally, self-care after your divorce can include accepting help when it’s offered. Maybe a friend or family member is willing to watch your kids give you a night off. Take them up on the offer! You may even find that a therapist is very helpful in helping your deal with any leftover stress. Many people find it difficult to accept help from others. But you’ve been through enough stress, and you deserve to accept some help.

Self-care after your divorce is so important for your mental well-being. You’ve been through so much stress and deserve to have some time to take care of yourself. Give yourself time and space to experience the range of emotions that come with such a big life change. Get back to your old hobbies or find a new interest to focus on. Reconnect with old friends to help get your mind off of the divorce. And finally, accept help when it’s offered to you. Your friends and family just want what’s best for you. You’ve been through a major life change, and giving yourself a little self-love is important for your mental health.

What to Include in a Prenup Agreement?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Many people might have strong feelings about a prenup agreement. Some believe it’s a great way to protect yourself before marriage and others find it un-romantic. If you do decide to move forward with a prenup you should make sure and define your personal vs marital assets. In addition, you should also define personal and marital debts. You can also choose to make provisions for children from an earlier marriage. And finally, you might choose to include a sunset provision that nullifies the prenup after a certain amount of years of marriage. If you do choose to ask for a prenup, make sure and speak with a knowledgeable attorney to make sure you are protecting yourself and your children.

What to include in a Prenup Agreement? How to Best Protect Yourself

Personal vs Marital Assets

One of the main reasons that people decide to get a prenup agreement is to define personal assets vs marital assets. If one partner is coming into a marriage with more wealth or assets, they may want to keep them separate. This would be different than money that you acquire during your marriage. This can also apply to things like family heirlooms. This is a way to ensure that specific items or money stay with you if the marriage ends.

Personal vs Marital Debts

Similar to personal and marital assets, many choose to get a prenup agreement to protect themselves from debt. If your partner is bringing a lot of debt into the marriage and you don’t want to risk being stuck with it during a divorce, you can specify this in a prenup. You would split any debts that you incurred together during the marriage equally if you divorce.

Dependents from Previous Marriage

Another important thing to include in a prenup agreement is provisions for any children from a previous marriage. This is a way for you to set aside money or property that they will inherit if you get a divorce. It keeps these from being able to be split during a divorce. If there are specific heirlooms that you want them to have you can include them in a prenup.

Sunset Provision

Finally, one uncommon clause that some people choose to include in a prenup agreement is a sunset provision. Many people think that spelling out the terms of your divorce is very unromantic when planning a wedding. However, with a sunset provision, the prenup would be null after a certain amount of years of marriage. This can be a way to put a partner at ease if they are hesitant about a prenup for emotional reasons. It shows that if your marriage stands the test of time, the prenup doesn’t need to be worried about anymore.

A prenup agreement can be a really good way to protect yourself financially in the event of a divorce. It can also protect any children you have from an earlier marriage. Make sure to include any personal wealth or property that you want to keep separate from joint assets. In addition, you can protect yourself from inheriting your partner’s debt through a prenup. You can also provide for your existing children by specifying what they would still inherit if you divorce. And finally, you can choose to include a sunset provision to end the prenup after a period of time. While it can be a polarizing thing to bring up before marriage, a prenup agreement can really be a good way to protect yourself financially.

Survival Tips for Divorce: Dealing with the Stress

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce is hard. In fact, some people think it’s as stressful as the death of a loved one. Because in a way, you are losing something very valuable. However, some quick survival tips for divorce can help you deal with the stress and cope with the hurt of the divorce process. First of all, lean on family and friends. They’ll be your biggest advocates and help you through this difficult time. Ask professionals to get involved, like an attorney and a therapist. Practice self-care to keep yourself sane. And finally, try to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. You’ll be getting a fresh start and can hopefully find a new partner someday that is better suited for you.

Survival Tips for Divorce: Dealing with the Stress and Coping with the Hurt

Lean on Friends

One of the most important survival tips for divorce is to lean on family and friends. Divorce is one of the most difficult things you can go through. You’ll need to surround yourself with people who love you to help you deal with the stress. Try to get comfortable asking for help. Your friends and family genuinely want to help you, so lean on them when you’re overwhelmed. Let them cook you food or take your children off your hands for a night. Try to let them shoulder some of the emotional stress you’re feeling.

Ask the Professionals

Another important survival tip for divorce is to get professionals involved. You’ll want an experienced and knowledgeable attorney by your side every step of the way. They’ll be your advocate and protect your interests in court. In addition, you may find that speaking with a therapist is helpful. While friends and family can be very supportive, sometimes a trained professional can be even more helpful.

Practice Self-Care

Practicing self-care is one of the survival tips for divorce that gets neglected the most. Divorce is a long and stressful process. If you don’t take time to take care of yourself, you’ll burn out. Try to take breaks here and there when you can and pamper yourself a little. Maybe that means taking yourself out for a meal. Or renting a movie and eating all the snacks you want. You might even try a massage or a long bubble bath. Whatever self-care looks like to you, make time for it to keep yourself sane.

Look at the Fresh Start

Finally, one last one of the survival tips for divorce is to try and look on the bright side of things. Rather than focusing on the negatives or the hurt feelings, try to find the positives. A divorce is long and grueling. But ultimately it means the end of a relationship that wasn’t working for you. So divorce means you’re getting a fresh start. Try to let go of any bitterness and focus on how you want your future to look.

Divorce is incredibly difficult, but these survival tips for divorce can hopefully help you manage. Lean on your friends and family as much as you can because they honestly probably want to help you. In addition, call in the big guns and hire professionals to help you. An attorney and a therapist can make the entire process much more manageable. Make time for self-care so that you can start fresh and energized. And finally, try to focus on the fresh start you’re getting after your divorce, instead of the hurt. Try to think about what you’d like your future to look like. Before you know it, you’ll be finalizing your divorce and moving on to more healthy relationships.

Is it Time for a Divorce? When to Call it Quits

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Wondering when it is time for a divorce might be stressing you out if you and your partner are having relationship troubles. It depends on your unique situation, but below are some things to consider if you’ve been considering divorce. If you and your partner have different visions for your future that can’t be changed, you may not be able to make your marriage work. In addition, if you’ve lost respect for one another, support, or intimacy it may be time. Counseling can be helpful for many couples who are considering divorce, so if you’ve tried it without success, maybe now is the time. And finally, if you’re both on the same page that you want a divorce, then it’s definitely time. Divorce can be stressful, but it’s better to figure that out now than continue to drag out a marriage that isn’t working.

Is it Time for a Divorce: When to Call it Quits on a Marriage

You Have Different Visions for Your Future

It might be time for a divorce if you and your partner have completely different visions of your future. Especially if neither of you is willing to change your mind. Compromise is a huge factor in a successful marriage. However, there may be things that you simply can’t come to an agreement on. For example, whether or not to have children. If you aren’t on the same page with where you want your lives to go, you might not be able to make the marriage work. Even if you want to.

You’ve Lost Respect, Support, and Intimacy

Another way to tell if it’s time for a divorce is if you’ve lost respect, support, and intimacy. A relationship is only successful if you and your spouse respect one another. You need to be each other’s biggest supporter to get through the tough times. Intimacy is also important in a relationship. Not just sexual intimacy but friendship and love as well. If your relationship is lacking these things, it might be time to consider separating.

You’ve Tried Counseling

Marriage counseling is very helpful for many couples. It can be one of the best ways to avoid divorce if you and your spouse are having relationship troubles. However, if you’ve tried counseling and it hasn’t worked, you might turn to divorce. A professional counselor or therapist might be able to help you work through problems in your marriage. However, if they’ve been unsuccessful it could mean that you two are simply not going to be able to work things out. If that’s the case then it might be time for a divorce.

You’re On the Same Page

Finally, you’ll definitely know it’s time for a divorce if you and your spouse are on the same page about wanting one. Some couples mutually decide that divorce is the right path for them. In these situations, divorce can be a bit smoother. However, sometimes one partner is very reluctant to go down this path. It’s important to really talk honestly with your partner about how you’re feeling. If they’re feeling the same way and you both feel that you’ve done everything you can, it might be time to end your marriage.

It’s hard to know when to give up on your marriage, but unfortunately, some just do not work out. If you and your partner have very different views of your future lives, you may not be able to reconcile. In addition, if you’ve lost respect, support, and intimacy it might be a red flag. Marriage counseling can be helpful, but if you’ve tried it unsuccessfully then you might be ready for a divorce. And finally, if you and your spouse both agree that you want the divorce, then it’s definitely time to hire a divorce attorney and get started. Deciding when it’s time for a divorce can be scary and sad. However, it’s much better to get on the same page and move forward with a divorce than to stay in an unhappy marriage.

The Positives of Divorce: Find Your Happy

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce is tough. There’s no getting around it. Going through a divorce can leave you emotionally and financially drained. But there are also plenty of positives of divorce. For one, you get your freedom back. For another, your kids will probably be better off. And finally, you get to have the thrill of falling in love again in your future. It’s stressful now, but there are still silver linings to look forward to.

The Positives of Divorce: Find Your Happy Again

Freedom

One of the biggest positives of divorce? Freedom! Going through the end stages of a relationship can feel overwhelming. You’ve probably been in and out of court and fighting with your ex. Once your divorce is finalized, you’ll be free to take your time back for yourself. Find a new hobby or revive an old one. Hang out with friends that you’ve been neglecting. You’re free to make your own plans without having to coordinate with your ex. If you’ve been in a controlling or abusive relationship, you’re now free to live the way you want.

Best for Children

Many couples try to “stick it out” in a relationship that isn’t working for the sake of their kids. But staying with the wrong person can mean added stress and fighting. This kind of atmosphere isn’t what’s best for your children. You and your ex getting along and supporting each other as a divorced couple will make them happier in the long run. One of the positives of divorce is that all in all, it’s probably what’s best for your kids. Your children will probably grow to respect your decision as they get older. You also don’t want to set the example of marriage being unhappy for them.

Possibility of New Love

One of the most fun positives of divorce is that you get to start dating again. While it can feel overwhelming, don’t forget to have fun. New relationships can be exciting. You get to have another first kiss! You also get to use what you learned from your first marriage to make any future relationships even stronger. Now you know exactly what you need out of a partner. You might be quicker to recognize red flags in a relationship. And hopefully, you’ve gained some self-confidence along the way. This will serve to make any future relationships stronger than ever.

Although divorce is one of the most difficult things a person can go through, don’t forget that there are positives of divorce too. Try to remember that you are making the decision that’s best for yourself and your children. And don’t forget to enjoy your new freedom and dating possibilities!

Your First Valentine’s Day After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It’s your first Valentine’s day after divorce and you are dreading it completely. It’s just one more reminder of your relationship being over. However, Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be a difficult holiday. You can still enjoy your day if you re-focus your attention. If you have children, make the day really special for them. You could also go out with single friends and enjoy “Galentines Day.” Or take yourself out for a fun date night. You can still enjoy the day even if you are struggling through a divorce.

Your First Valentine’s Day After Divorce: Enjoy the Holiday Differently

Focus on Your Kids

If you have children, your first Valentine’s Day after divorce could just focus on them instead. Make a big to-do and celebrate the holiday. It’s a day for celebrating love after all, and who loves you more than your children? Decorate the house and surprise them with Valentine’s themed breakfast. Make Valentine’s cards together to send to family and friends. Gorge on candy and watch a movie while having a picnic on a blanket on the floor. You can make it a special and loving memory without focusing on being single.

Celebrate Galentines Day

If you’re trying to survive your first Valentine’s Day after divorce, lean on your friends. So-called “Galentine’s Day” is a day meant for loving your girlfriends. Whether they’re single or in a relationship, take February 13th to focus on your friendship and celebrate one another. Go out for a fancy meal and clink champagne glasses. You could exchange flowers and chocolate together. Take some time to spread the love with the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin.

Take Yourself on a Date

If it’s your first Valentine’s Day after divorce, you could always take yourself out for a date yourself. Or bring a fancy date in if you aren’t comfortable being alone in public quite yet. Order takeout from your favorite restaurant and get a bottle of your favorite wine. And don’t forget dessert! Conversely, you could go see a movie alone – nobody will notice that you’re by yourself once the lights go down. You could even just relax and take time to do something that you love. For example, a fancy bubble bath with relaxing music.

Surviving your first Valentine’s Day after divorce can be daunting to think about. But it doesn’t have to be a source of stress. You can still appreciate the love of the holiday even if you’re single. Make special memories with your children, or go out with your friends and makeover each other. You could also take yourself on a date and take time to do things that you love. Remember that you got divorced for a reason, and even though holidays such as this can be hard, you made the decision that was right for you.

Emotionally Prepare for Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you are heading down the road to divorce, you may be feeling overwhelmed. It’s hard to know what to expect when facing divorce. You need to emotionally prepare for divorce by addressing the various feelings you’ll be having. Anger is a big factor when going through a divorce, but letting go of the idea of “winning” will help you in the long run. Also, let yourself grieve all the changes you’ll be facing. Also, let go of guilt, especially when it comes to your children. And finally, let go of shame because there is nothing wrong with making a decision that is best for your family. Mentally prepare yourself for the emotions you might be feeling so you can maintain your well-being.

Emotionally Prepare for Divorce: Facing Your Feelings

Let Go of the Idea of “Winning”

One of the strongest emotions that you might be feeling is anger. Divorce can be so draining mentally, and tensions get heightened. You or your spouse might let your anger boil over from time to time and say hurtful things. Emotionally prepare for divorce by trying to let go of the idea of “winning” the divorce. Because this is a response to your anger, it’s not the most productive way to approach a divorce. Your ultimate goal is to create a better life for yourself and your children. If you come into a divorce wanting to “win”, you may not see clearly and be able to get perspective on the things that will help you all be happier.

Let Yourself Grieve

Your entire life is changing, emotionally prepare for divorce by accepting your grief. Perhaps you had your life all planned out and this came as a sudden shock. Or maybe you saw the divorce coming on for the past few years. Whatever your situation is, a divorce is still a complete change in your life. You’re allowed to grieve the life you thought you’d be having when you got married. Take time to really let yourself feel emotional about the divorce.

Let Go of Guilt

Guilt can be a huge factor when you emotionally prepare for divorce. Especially when there are children involved. Many parents feel tremendous guilt over divorcing. However, they often overlook that in the long run, their children might be much happier. Children pick up on stress and anger. If you and your partner are constantly fighting in front of them, divorce is probably healthier. Seeing you and your partner co-parenting healthily and happily will be better for them.

Let Go of Shame

There is a stigma of shame around divorce that really shouldn’t exist. The reasons for your divorce are nobody’s business unless you feel like sharing. When you emotionally prepare for divorce, try to let go of shame. You are making a decision that is better for yourself. You’re taking charge of your life and giving yourself a chance to be happier. If you have children, they may see you taking control as a show of how strong you are. As a result, they’ll respect you more for going forward with a divorce.

When you emotionally prepare for divorce, you need to be aware of all the feelings you might experiences. Try to let go of your anger and the notion of “winning” the divorce. Focus on the end goal of a happier family. Prepare for grief because your whole world is changing. Let go of guilt, especially when it comes to children because you are ultimately making the healthier choice for them. And finally, let go of shame. You’re making a change for the best, and you should be proud of yourself for taking control of your life.

How-to Identify Financial Abuse in a Relationship

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When you think of domestic violence and abuse, you probably think of physical and verbal abuse. However, there are many forms of abuse. Oftentimes, financial abuse is overlooked. According to a study by the Centers for Financial Security, 99% of domestic violence cases also involved financial abuse. In fact, it is often the first sign of dating violence and domestic abuse. Learn the signs of financial abuse in a relationship so that you can protect yourself.

How-to Identify Financial Abuse in a Relationship: Knowing the Signs

What is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse can vary from situation to situation. There is no one perfect example of it. However, it does involve controlling someone’s ability to get, use, and maintain financial resources. The victims may even be prevented from working so that they are unable to make or access money for themselves. In addition, the victims of financial abuse in a relationship may have their own money stolen or limited by their abuser. If the victim does have access to money, they may have to account for any of it that they use.

Look for Signs of Abuse

While every situation is different, there are certain things you can pay attention to. First, abusers may use or controls the money you have earned or saved. Examples of this include using your money or credit cards for their own benefit without asking. They may also ask to borrow money from you and never repay it. Also, they may ruin your credit by charging things to your account and not paying them off. Another sign of financial abuse in a relationship is if they have a double standard when it comes to spending. For example, they may spend money on entertainment, dining out, and clothing but criticize you when you make similar purchases

They may start to control where you can or can not work, and may even make you quit your job. In addition, they may actually try to sabotage your job. It is possible for them to go as far as hiding your car keys or removing your car battery so that you can not show up to work. These are only just a few of the signs of financial abuse, but there are many more.

Get Help

If you or someone you know is a victim of financial abuse in a relationship, get help right away. Call a counselor, advocate, or religious leader. Remember that financial abuse is not something that gets better with time. Oftentimes, it can actually end up leading to other types of abuse. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained professionals. Do not wait until it is too late to get help.