How-to Decide if You Should Date a Divorcee

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Statistics say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That means there are going to be quite a few divorcees out there. When you are on the dating scene, you are likely to encounter several, or many, divorcees. There are going to be different pros and cons that come with dating someone who has been divorced before. Here are some things to consider if you are trying to decide if you should date a divorcee.

How-to Decide if You Should Date a Divorcee: Choosing a Relationship

Commitment

Divorcees have already made a commitment to marriage (at least) once already. This likely means that they will have a clearer mindset about the reality of marriage and the problems that can arise. Due to this, they may be slower to make another commitment again. However, know that once they do make a commitment, they are more likely to stick with it. They will not want to go through the pain of another separation again. This is all good to know if you are going to date a divorcee.

They will have experienced what worked and what did not work in a relationship. They will also have experienced a wedding, marriage, and end of a marriage. Through all of the highs and lows of this process, they will have learned a lot about themselves and what is important to them. This may have made them more well-rounded as a person. This experience is invaluable when forming a new relationship. However, these experiences could also make a divorcee bitter as well.

Family Ties

It is also good to consider the family ties that come along with a divorcee. There will always be a tie, in some way or another, with an ex. This same thing is true if this person has children. No matter the age of the children, or whether or not they live with their parent or not, the kids will come as part of the package. When children are involved, your partner will likely have to have contact with their ex. This can especially be difficult when a new relationship is developing.

If you are going to date a divorcee, you will have to honestly ask yourself if you are able to accept these family ties. Know that your partner may take a while to introduce you to his or her children. This is nothing against you, it is just protecting the children’s feelings and emotions. If this relationship turns into marriage, you will need be comfortable that you will become a stepparent. Depending on the situation, this could be a really amazing or challenging transition.

How-to Work with a Financial Advisor During Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can be very difficult on your financial situation. If you relied on dual-incomes to make ends meet, or your partner was the only one who worked, this can be especially challenging. Divorce may force you to change your lifestyle and spending habits. If you find finances to be an unpleasant and overwhelming thing to think about, you are in luck. Financial advisors are professionals that specialize in helping people with their finances. Learn how to work with a financial advisor during divorce.

How-to Work with a Financial Advisor During Divorce: Manage Your Finances

Financial Goals

Financial planners and advisors can help you get on track and work towards the goals you want to achieve. Unfortunately, according to a study, only 5% of women work with a financial advisor during divorce. However, these professionals can be as asset as part of a divorce team. In fact, 61% of women who did not use a financial planner wish that they would have worked with one during their divorce.

If you have not already, it is good to sit down and figure out your financial goals. Thinking these through will help you be able to work towards reaching your goals. Some good financial goals include paying off your debt, having a comfortable retirement, and saving for an emergency fund. Others include being able to buy a new home, creating another income source, or building wealth through investments.

Benefits

One of the benefits of using a financial planner is that they can help you evaluate your lifestyle. They will help you take a hard look at your finances both before and after the divorce. This will be helpful for even looking at different things like covering expenses, buying insurance, creating a budget, and paying bills.

Another benefit of working with a financial advisor during divorce is that they can help you look at your assets. This will include hidden gems you may not have remembered, and which assets to fight for during your divorce. Consider things like jewelry, investments, college funds and retirement accounts. The financial advisor will be able to determine what is worth asking for and also set up a plan to help you achieve financial freedom.

Although this is an underutilized resource, working with a financial advisor during divorce is a smart move. They will help you to be able to start off on the right track during and after your divorce. You will be glad they were part of your divorce team.

How-to Prepare for the Holidays as a Single Parent

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The holiday season is just around the corner. This is a time for food, festivities and family. However, for some people, this may be a season of firsts as well. Anyone who has just gone through a divorce may be feeling the dread of going through the holidays alone. This may be your first year preparing for the holidays as a single parent. While the season may feel a bit different, you can still make it special.

How-to Prepare for the Holidays as a Single Parent: Creating New Traditions

Plans with Ex

If you are recently divorced and trying to figure out the holidays as a single parent, know that you will need to discuss and coordinate with your ex. This includes visits as well as gift giving. You want to make sure you are not overlapping one another’s gifts, and that each parent is on the same page. Do not try and outdo your ex with lavish, expensive gifts. If the roles are reversed and your ex is giving over the top gifts that are out of your budget, do not throw your kids into the middle of an argument. Instead, you can give your kids the precious gift of time. If your kids will be with your ex, do not show anger when they go off with their other parent. Do not make them feel guilty or conflicted. Let them know you will look forward to celebrating with them when they get back and tell them to have a great time!

New Traditions

Since the holidays will look different the first year you celebrate the holidays as a single parent, try and create new, fun traditions. However, do not forget your old traditions too, as long as they fit your your new situation. You can do this whether you have young children or adult children. If this will be your first year alone without your ex or your kids, make other plans for your celebrations. Spend time with your extended family, friends, or other single parents who may also be alone. Also, remember that there is not a rule that a holiday must only be celebrated exclusively on one certain day. An early, or delayed, celebration with friends and family just gives you an extended holiday season, and can be just as special too. Celebrating the holidays as a single parent for the first time may be a challenge. However, you will be able to get through it successfully. Enjoy old traditions if they are not too painful or no longer fit your family, and create new traditions too. Be considerate of your kids and their other parent, and keep any anger or disagreements to yourself for the sake of your kids. Remember, this will be a new way to celebrate the holidays for them too.

How-to Find a Job After a Divorce: Hitting Your Stride

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Getting a divorce could mean having to reenter the job market. It is common that spouses that were “stay-at-home” parents before the split, but may need to find a job after the split. During the separation period, you will have to take a good hard look at your financial situation. Depending on your circumstances, you may determine that without income, you will not be able to afford the same time of lifestyle you have been accustomed to. Therefore, it is important to know how to find a job after a divorce. With a little time, effort, and patience, it is possible to reenter the workforce.

How-to Find a Job After a Divorce: Reentering the Workforce

Pick a Path

First, to find a job after a divorce, you will have to determine which career path you want to pursue. Keep in mind that just because you went to school for something, or worked in that industry before, does not mean you have to return to that field. It is a good idea to do some research about different career options. Ask your friends about their careers, and if they enjoy them. You could get inspiration from them! Doing online searches is a good option as well.

This is a great opportunity to do some soul-searching and determine what you want to do with your life. Start by thinking about what you love doing and what you are passionate about. Even if you can not turn your exact passion into a career, try and evaluate what it is about that hobby and see if you can apply that into another career path. Perhaps you enjoy playing team sports. Do you enjoy the socialization part of it? Or perhaps the competitive or strategic part of it? These different aspects can translate into different types of careers you could consider.

Set Yourself Up For Success

When trying to find a job after a divorce, you will want to take the steps to set yourself up for success. You will want to make sure to create an updated resume and cover letter so that you are prepared to apply for jobs. Have a friend you trust, or a career coach, to read it and give you feedback. Don’t forget to let your friends know that you are on the job hunt. They may know of positions or have connections that may be able to help you out.

If you don’t already have one, create a profile on LinkedIn. This will help potential employers find you, and help you to connect with others in your desired field. Having an update LinkedIn profile is an important step in the job hunting process. Many employers will even have a spot on their job applications for you to share your LinkedIn account name.

Apply

Applying for jobs can be frustrating and draining. You may hear a lot of “no’s”, or even get ignored, before getting a “yes”. Do not get discouraged. If you are not getting any luck, consider getting a career coach, or speaking with a recruiter. These can be helpful resources when trying to find a job after a divorce.

Education

If you absolutely can not find a job that you like and can support you without going back to school, you can pursue further education. There are plenty of programs out there that are geared towards adult students. Most of these even provide schedules that work around work schedules. This could allow you to find an interim job to be able to make money, plus still be able to take classes. Keep in mind that just because you go back to school for something doesn’t mean you will automatically land your dream job in that field. It could still take time, effort and patience to get to where you want to be. You may have to work some entry-level jobs initially, but you can still get to the career that you want with a little work.

How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Exercise is a great way to feel happier and relieve stress after your divorce. However, it’s also great for its physical health benefits too. Therefore, it’s good to know some helpful strategies to get fit post-divorce. That way, you can really get as much out of your workout as possible…

How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce: Key Techniques

Eat right

Your diet is important if you want to get fit post-divorce. After all, if you don’t eat healthy, then your workout will go to waste. As such, don’t fall into the trap into thinking you can just eat whatever and “sweat it out.” Instead, you should focus on creating a healthy diet which will help support your body during a workout and refuel it afterwards.

For example, eating fruits and vegetables before you work out is better than doing so afterwards, as they’ll be able to help fuel your workout. Afterwards, protein and carbs will be key. Many dietary experts suggest that a 3:1 ratio of carbs-to-protein is best for helping your body recover.

Find a good workout plan

When you want to get fit post-divorce, you should have a good workout plan. Different plans will focus on different parts of the body. Others may specialize in specific goals, like weight loss or muscle gain. Which plan you pick depends on what exercise goals you want to achieve.

Plus, you have a lot of choices to choose from. It’s also easy to mix and max parts of different plans to get a more-complete custom plan. This is good for when you want to add some variety, as your body may build resistance to your normal routine. Mixing things up ensures you get a good workout every time.

Get enough sleep

Sleep is a key element when you want to get fit post-divorce. Sleep is crucial for giving your body time to recover from your workouts and get ready for the next day. In particular, it gives your muscles a chance to heal and get stronger from your exercises. Skimping on sleep can minimize the results you get from your workouts.

In general, it’s good to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. In fact, working out may make it easier for you to fall asleep. The combination of exercising wearing you out while also improving your body tends to lead to better, longer sleep for many people.

How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

In some divorce arrangements, parents may end up with split custody of their children. Split custody is different than joint custody. This is a child custody arrangement in which one parent has sole custody of one or more children. Then, the other parent has sole custody of the remaining siblings. This arrangement can be difficult for both the parents and the children. If this applies to you, learn how to manage having split custody of your kids.

How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids: Divorce Arrangements

Difficulties

Having split custody of your kids can be difficult. One of the hardest parts about it is that your kids may never actually get to see one another. If one child spends all week at moms, while the other spends all week at dads, and they switch on the weekend, they will never be together. Going to living with only one parent at a time can be a big change for children. Compound that with also no longer living with their siblings too, and that makes it even more of an adjustment.

Benefits

On the other hand, there can be some benefits of having split custody of your kids. For example, this could be beneficial if one child is combative or physically or emotionally abusive to the other. In this case, it may be best to have both of the siblings separated. Another example is if one child has special needs. Depending on how severe the disabilities are, one parent may need to solely focus on taking care of the child with special needs. A parent who works away from home full-time likely would not be able to take care of a special needs child in the same way a stay-at-home parent can.

In some cases, if there are large age gaps between siblings, each may prefer to live with a different parent. Another situation is if one parents lives close to a special school that would be beneficial for one child, that child may choose to live with that parent. For example, if there is a really good school of the arts, and a child really wants to be in that program, they may decide to live at the house closest to that school. This could also apply to certain schools for kids with physical or learning disabilities.

There are definitely pros and cons to having split custody of your kids. However, if you make decisions with your children’s best interest in mind, you can manage this unusual situation.

How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After your divorce is finalized, or even during the separation process, you may want to find a new hobby. These can occupy your time and give you something to look forward to. There are so many different types of hobbies out there that there will be no shortage things you could choose. However, the pandemic does make this a little bit more difficult. To make things easier, you need to look for Covid-friendly hobbies.

How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce: Enjoyable Distractions

Virtual Cooking Classes

If you are looking to find Covid-friendly hobbies, cooking classes help to make cooking fun. There are so many cooking classes you could take. Some culinary schools or community colleges offer cooking classes as a continuing education program. Some of these courses are offered online, which is perfect for this current environment. They offer single classes, or sets of classes, that could last a few days to a few months. You could always sign up with a friend to take these classes with you for extra fun. You will learn a great skill or at least some new recipes, plus get to eat some delicious food at the end of the class.

Skill Pop is another place to take a culinary class. While they typically offer classes in-person, they now offer classes online for a Covid-friendly option. Skill Pop even offers cooking decorating classes, which can prepare you to wow your friends when pandemic ends.

Exercise

Sure, many gyms are closed now due to Covid-19, but that does not mean that you can’t exercise. When you are trying to find Covid-friendly hobbies, exercise is one of the best ones you can do. Exercise boosts your mood and relieves stress, plus is good for your health. You do not have to pick up strenuous exercise for you to see positive benefits. If you aren’t into running, cycling, or hiking, you could still get in exercise by walking or doing yoga.

Read

Reading a good book is can be therapeutic for some people. It is possible to even get lost in a good book. When considering Covid-friendly hobbies, grab a good book. There are even virtual book clubs you can join. Get a group of friends to join in, or sign-up for an established book club. You can safely read on your own, but still get the socialization aspect from your virtual book club!

How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After your divorce, you may find yourself needing to move to a new home. Once you make this move, you’ll want to then focus on setting up your post-divorce place. There’s a few things in particular that you can do to really make this new home feel like it’s yours…

How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place: Exciting Changes

Get new furniture

When you move to your post-divorce place, you’ll probably have some furniture to bring along. However, it may be worn or more your ex’s style than yours. Brining in this older furniture can throw off the new feeling your house should bring you.

That’s why it’s good to get some new furniture. Now, you don’t have to worry about if your spouse likes it or not. Instead, you can get whatever appeals to your style and tastes, which helps to make you feel like you really own this new home.

Consider your lighting

Lighting is also important for your post-divorce place. Having more light in your home can not only help you see things, but it’ll also improve your mood. Plus, having more natural light will mean you don’t need to turn the lights on all the time. This will help save some extra money on your power bill!

Try to see if there’s anything you can change about your windows or curtains that’ll allow in more light. Don’t forget to look at your interior lighting as well. It’s best to pick some soft, warm lights rather than harsher ones. This will allow for you to have plenty of light without it being abrasive.

Explore some art

Décor is a good way to express yourself in your post-divorce place. Much like with your furniture, you can now pick the sort of décor which fits your tastes the best. Art in particular is a good way to show off your tastes while also tying your rooms together.

These days, it’s pretty easy to find prints of your favorite art online. That allows for you to get a lot of great pieces for relatively cheap. You can also set up your rooms with themes based around your art. This can help each different room in your home feel unique.

How-to Know if You Need Couples Therapy

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Things have been rough lately, and both of you are feeling frustrated. You may be wondering if you feel therapy or counseling is a sign of weakness, but it actually is a sign of strength. This is a step towards working on making your relationship better. Here are some signs that you may need to go to couples therapy.

How-to Know if You Need Couples Therapy

Lack of Trust

It may be time to go to couples therapy if your trust has been broken. A lack of trust can be detrimental to a relationship. Some examples of how trust could be broken would be catching your spouse in a huge lie, or even finding out they have been having an affair. However, if you and your partner are willing to try and work through this, talking with a therapist where you can openly and safely express yourself may be a good place to start.

Ongoing Conflict

If you and your spouse are always arguing, it could be a good idea to go to couples therapy. Constant conflict is not healthy for any relationship. Additionally, even if you are just noticing that the frequency of your arguments is increasing, it is never too early to stop a problem before it gets worse. Get ahead of the issue and talk to someone.

Something Feels Different

Is there something that just feels off about your marriage? This could be a disconnect physically, emotionally, or mentally. In additon, there could be underlying resentment or distrust that is even pulling you apart. You may not even be able to pinpoint it to determine what it is. Whatever it is, it is worth addressing with a couples therapist.

Lack of Communication

Another reason to go to a couples therapist is if you and your spouse have a lack of communication. For instance, you could live in the same house together, but never have any sort of meaningful conversation with any depth. This could make you drift apart from your partner. A councilor could help give you the tools to communicate better. Above all, this could increase the quality of the conversations you have with your spouse.

In conclusion, couples therapy can be a big benefit to couples that are drifting apart or are going through a rough spot. However, it can also be useful to curb an issue before it even gets big too. It is never too early to get ahead of a problem and work towards a happy and healthy marriage.

How-to Know If You’re Ready to Remarry

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you are considering marrying someone again after divorce, there is a lot to consider. A second, third, or whatever number marriage can be more complicated than the first. There are many other factors and things to consider if you are wanting to get married again. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you are considering if you are ready to remarry.

How-to Know If You’re Ready to Remarry: Things to Consider

Ask Yourself ‘Why’?

If you are wondering if you are ready to remarry, you will want to ask yourself why you are wanting to marry again. When you look deep down, you may see some warning flags. If not, that is a good sign. For example, are you lonely and just wanting some companionship? Do not marry again just because you are the only single one in your social group, or to please your family.

Do not remarry solely for financial gain. Financial need can be a great motivator for some to marry again. For example, single parents who are struggling to support their children may find it desirable to have extra financial help. Regardless of your gender, don’t marry someone because it will relieve financial stress or help further a corporate career.

Have You Given Yourself Enough Time?

After a divorce, you have a lot to process emotionally, mentally and physically. Make sure you have given yourself enough time to work through these things. You need to have things handled on your end before you can be a good spouse to someone else. Make sure you are not harboring any anger or resentment towards your ex, or even still in love with your ex. If you have not dealt with these feeling, you will take those into your new marriage. Make sure that you are actually ready to remarry. Consider looking deep down into why your first marriage failed, and even consider therapy to make sure those old wounds have truly healed.

Some people rush into new relationships as soon as they split from their ex. Then, after only a few months, they want to get very serious with them. Make sure you give yourself time in this new relationship, even if you have known this person for a while before dating them. You will want to make sure you have had time to get to know them well. It is easy for someone to only show you their good side for the first few months.

Ex’s and Children

The second time around, a marriage may involve blending families. You will have to consider how their ex or children feel about you, and how you feel about them. This also applies to you with your ex and children as well. You are not just marrying one person, you’re entering the relationship with the whole bunch. Make sure that you can handle these relationships and that they will be healthy ones in the long run.

Consider all of these things when you are wondering if you are ready to remarry again. If you feel confident about all of your answers, then you are off of a great start.