Managing Unsupportive Family During Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Dealing with unsupportive family during divorce can be frustrating. A divorce is one of the most stressful things a person can go through. But unfortunately for many, their family isn’t as supportive as they would hope. It might be that family members don’t approve of the concept of divorce. Or it could be that they simply don’t know the intimate details of your relationship and why it didn’t work out. You can try to convince them if you want, but ultimately, it’s not your issue. It’s theirs. You might just need to accept that they won’t be emotionally supportive and ask for their help in other ways. Then, you can find your own support system. Hopefully, you can get the encouragement and peace of mind from friends or support groups to help you get through this difficult period.

Managing Unsupportive Family During Divorce: Finding Your Support Network

Try to Find Out Why

If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, there might be several reasons why. It could be that they just disagree with the notion of divorce at all. Or it could just be that they don’t know what went on in your relationship. It’s not really your job to explain the intimate details of your life to everybody. However, if you are wanting them to better understand the situation, you can share what you feel comfortable with.

Accept That It’s Not Your Issue

Whether you’ve shared the details of why you’re divorcing or not, the fact of the matter is that this is a decision that is yours alone to make. If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, you might just have to accept that they aren’t going to change their attitudes. It’s not your issue, it’s theirs. You have to respect your own emotional boundaries. And it’s not your job to convince anybody.

Ask Them to Help Where They Can

Unsupportive family during divorce can be hurtful and painful to deal with. You probably won’t get the emotional support or sympathy that you need from them. However, you can ask that they still help you in other ways. For example, if you need financial assistance, housing assistance, or help with childcare. Just know that you’ll need to find your emotional support elsewhere.

Find Your Own Network

If family isn’t being helpful, you can build your own support network. Often, friends are more helpful during divorce than family anyway. They often know more details of your relationship and why you chose to end the marriage. You can also try local support groups to find other people who are experiencing similar emotions. If you are struggling, speak with a therapist.

If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, it can really affect your trust. You expect your family to support you no matter what. However, it’s not uncommon for people going through divorce to have to turn elsewhere for emotional support. Whether it’s a moral issue with divorce itself or they simply don’t know the story, it’s not up to you to convince them. Instead, ask for help where you can but know that you’ll need to find a sympathetic ear elsewhere. Built a support network around yourself through friends or support groups. Hopefully, they’ll be able to give you all the help you need to get through this difficult chapter and begin looking forward to the next.

Giving Yourself Permission for a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Sometimes, giving yourself permission for a divorce is harder than you might think. We often feel pressure to stay in relationships that don’t work out just for the sake of appearances. But letting go of your preconceived notions and allowing yourself the freedom to make the decision is important. It’s okay to listen to the input of others, but ultimately, the decision needs to be yours alone. Furthermore, if you have family members that are not supportive, you’ll need to establish some healthy boundaries. While it can be intimidating, there are many positives on the other side of divorce. For example, you are getting out of a negative relationship, freeing yourself up to focus on your own priorities, and getting to strike out on a new path that will hopefully make you happier.

Giving Yourself Permission for a Divorce: Letting Go of Preconceived Notions

Why It’s Difficult

Giving yourself permission for a divorce can be more difficult than you might think because we often have so many preconceived notions of what marriage should look like. There is societal pressure to make your relationship work out. While the stigma of divorce is lessening, you still might face awkward questions from friends and family. Sometimes, letting go of the future that you imagined for yourself can be incredibly hard, even if things aren’t working well. So sometimes, giving yourself that freedom to pursue a divorce is the hardest step of the whole process.

Making The Decision Yours Alone

Your friends and family will likely have some strong ideas about your marriage, but giving yourself permission for a divorce is your decision alone. Try not to let others influence you, because they don’t really know the ins and outs of your relationship. Nobody knows what’s going on behind closed doors. If you are considering pursuing a divorce, you need to sit down and weigh your options without input from others first.

Fighting Stigma

You might also face some stigma or judgement from friends and family members. Especially older family members that might be from a generation where divorce was not common. Again though, your decisions are yours to make. If your friends or family are not respecting your decision, then you’ll need to set some boundaries with them. For example, “I don’t want to discuss the divorce with you at this time. If you can’t be respectful of that decision, then we need to take some time apart.”

The Positives

While giving yourself permission for a divorce can feel scary, there are actually a lot of positives to making the decision. You are prioritizing your happiness, and you can now focus on the things that you want to focus on. For example, now is the time to pursue hobbies or friendships that you have neglected. It’s also a great time to really work on your self-confidence and self-care. Furthermore, if you have children, you are showing that it’s okay to step away from a relationship if it isn’t the right fit. Getting through the formality of the divorce is a long process, but on the other side of it, you will hopefully feel relief and at peace with your decision.

Considering divorce is a big deal, and it’s something that can weigh heavily on you. If you are waffling back and forth, sometimes, giving yourself permission for a divorce can be the hardest step to take. But once you do decide, you’ll have a clear path moving forward for what you need to do next. Let go of your preconceived notions, or any pressure you feel to keep a relationship going just for the sake of appearances. It’s hard to let go of the future that you’ve always imagined with your partner. But if your relationship isn’t bringing you happiness, that future is lost anyway. Make the decision on your own, without worrying about judgement from friends and family. If they are unsupportive of your decision, you might need to set some boundaries or even take a break from interacting with them until the dust settles. While it’s scary, the positives are that you can now follow your own path and prioritize your own needs. Plus, you can model healthy relationship-seeking for your children, and maybe even meet somebody new that is a better fit for you and can give you the future you’ve always wanted.

Red Flags to Watch for in Your Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Knowing the red flags to watch for in your marriage can help you make sure that you aren’t missing warning signs that things aren’t going smoothly. Sometimes, it’s hard to recognize when a marriage is on the rocks until it’s too late. We often get in a rut, and don’t realize how much time passes without things improving. If you are feeling a little stuck, make sure that you and your partner aren’t displaying any of the below warning signs. For example, if there is a lot of unhealthy conflict, or even more concerning, aggression. Additionally, resentment can tear away at a marriage. This can often arise from feeling like the relationship is one-sided. Finally, if you feel like your partner is lying to you or hiding things, it can be a definite warning sign that you two need to really examine your relationship. Hopefully, if you find any of these red flags, you can take precautions to help get your marriage back on track or have a healthy conversation about divorce.

Red Flags to Watch for in Your Marriage: Warning Signs that Things are Going South

Unhealthy Conflict

One of the main red flags to watch for in your marriage is unhealthy conflict. Every couple has disagreements from time to time. However, if huge arguments are becoming the norm in your life, it might be time to really examine your relationship. Furthermore, your arguments shouldn’t involve a lot of shouting, name-calling, or aggression. If this is the case, it’s important to speak to a marriage counselor or somebody that can help you learn to deal with conflict in a healthy way.

Resentment

Another of the red flags to watch for in your marriage is resentment. Resentment often builds and builds and builds until one partner explodes and takes the other by surprise with a year’s worth of complaints. Instead, make sure that you are both checking in with each other periodically to make sure that you both feel that you’re being treated equally in the relationship.

Lack of Effort

Feeling of resentment often arise because one parter feels like they are contributing a lot more effort to the relationship than the other. Or they feel that their partner is not supporting them very well emotionally. A lot of these types of feelings can come up with things like household responsibilities, childcare responsibilities, or mental work is not equally divided. Make sure that you work together to figure out the things that need to be done and divvy up tasks equally.

Deception

Finally, another important one of the red flags to watch for in your marriage is deception. If you feel like your partner is lying to you or hiding things, it might be an indication that you need to have a serious conversation. Similarly, if you are feeling like you need to hide things from your partner, it’s a warning sign. For example, this might include things like texting or flirting with a coworker, hiding financial trouble, or covering up how much you are drinking. All of these things can lead to significant cracks in your marriage.

The red flags to watch for in your marriage will be slightly different for every couple. However, in general, it’s important to make sure that you both are continuing to show up for one another and discuss your relationship. If it feels like conflict is becoming the norm, or your fights devolve into aggressive or unhealthy places, it might be trouble. Additionally, failing to divide up household responsibilities can quickly lead to resentment, as can a one-sided relationship. Make sure that you are both putting equal effort into keeping your relationship strong. Finally, if you or your partner are hiding things or lying, it’s a definite warning sign that there is something wrong with the relationship. If you notice any of these things, it’s helpful to get professional help from somebody like a marriage counselor. They can help you navigate difficult conversations, and help you figure out if you both are wanting to recommit to the marriage or consider alternatives like divorce. Hopefully, you can both come to an agreement and move forward peacefully with whichever you choose.

Where to Meet Somebody After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be scary to start thinking about how and where to meet somebody after divorce. Especially if you’ve been in a relationship for years. Dipping your toes back into the dating pool can be a little intimidating, so try to take things at your own speed. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of time to heal from your divorce before trying to get back into dating. However, when you’re ready, dating apps are a great place to start. It’s also great to ask friends if they know of anybody that might be a good match. You can always meet people out and about if you have a great attitude. And finally, meetup groups and group activities are a great way to meet new people, including new potential partners. Take your time, and try to enjoy the dating game.

Where to Meet Somebody After Divorce: Getting Back into the Dating Pool

Dating Apps

Dating apps are one of the best places to start when looking to meet somebody after divorce. There are plenty of different types of dating apps available. Some are free and some require an up-front or monthly fee. There are dating apps for divorcees specifically, as well as older adults or adults with certain interests. Just make sure to practice safe dating practices when meeting somebody new and meet in a public place. Let a friend know exactly where you are going to meet, and send them your date’s contact information. Make sure they check in on you if you do not text them that you’re safely home after the date. You can also share your location with them for added safety.

Ask a Friend

Another great way to meet somebody after divorce is to ask your friends to set you up. Ask them if they have any single friends that might be a good match. You also have the added bonus that you know a little bit about the person up front. You can also meet in a low-stakes situation, like a group hangout or backyard BBQ, rather than a blind date. Having your friends pre-vet your date can help ensure that it’s somebody safe and that you won’t face any cat-fishing type surprises when you show up for your date.

Out and About

Don’t forget about the potential to meet somebody new after divorce when you are just out and about during your day. Try to smile at people, and be outgoing and social. Start up a conversation with the cutie next to you in line at the coffee shop. Or chat about your pups with somebody you meet at the dog park. You never know where you might meet somebody new, but being friendly and outgoing is a great way to start.

Meetup Groups

Finally, meetup groups are another place to meet somebody after divorce. There are meetup groups for tons of different activities, like sports or hobbies. You could try intramural sports or an exercise class. You could also try a local art class, or take a tour of a museum. Find something that interests you, like rock climbing, and sign up to take a class or find a meetup group. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests as well as potential partners. There are also specific meetup groups for divorcees looking to connect with new friends.

Getting back into the dating pool after divorce can feel a little scary. It’s important to make sure that you’ve given yourself plenty of time to process your divorce and emotionally heal. Don’t compare your healing journey to anybody else’s or feel pressured to move on quicker than you feel comfortable with. Once you are ready to date again, it can be hard to know where to even meet somebody after divorce. There are tons of dating apps, and even ones specifically for divorcees. You can also ask your friends to set you up with singles they know. Try to be friendly and approachable in your day to day life by smiling and being kind. And finally, try local meetup groups for hobbies or interests that you are excited about. You might make some new friends, but you also might meet somebody that you spark a connection with. You never know when you’ll meet somebody, but having an open and confident attitude is a great place to start.

What to Wear to Divorce Court: Dress for Success

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When preparing for divorce court there is so much to do. You’ll have meetings with your attorney and have tons of legal paperwork to prep. But sometimes people forget to prepare what they’re going to wear to divorce court. First impressions are important, and some judges are more conservative than others. It’s best to play it safe and dress as if you were going for a job interview. Here are some tips to help you look prepared!

What to Wear to Divorce Court: First Impressions Matter

Clothing for Men

When deciding what to wear to divorce court, business attire is best. Wear long slacks with a belt and shoes with matching socks. Also, a collared shirt with a tie should be work. You can choose to wear a jacket or not. However, it’s always a good idea to have one in case the courtroom is cold. Shorts are never allowed, and you should not wear jeans. Ditch the hat as well, and make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too baggy.

Clothing for Women

Business attire is also what women should wear to divorce court. A business suit isn’t necessary, but you should wear dress slacks or a skirt. Make sure a skirt goes to your knees or longer. A nice blouse or even a conservative dress would work well. Make sure that nothing is too low-cut or revealing. Also, make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too tight. Leave the flashy sequins at home and opt for a more neutral outfit. You could be in divorce court for a long time, so bringing a sweater or light jacket is a good idea. You don’t necessarily need to wear heels, but stay away from tennis shoes or flip flops.

Accessories

The main goal in choosing what to wear to divorce court is to keep things neutral and non-attention grabbing. Try not to wear flashy accessories. If you have a lot of piercings, it might be best to remove some while you go to court. Cover up tattoos as well. Men and women should have clean, neat hair in a polished and neutral style. Also, now is possibly not the best time for very long acrylic nails or blue hair. Finally, keep makeup subtle and unobtrusive. The more conservative you can look, the better.

Having your own sense of style is great! Flashy accessories and dyed hair might be how you express yourself. That’s perfectly fine, but in divorce court, you might be more successful if you tone down your natural flair. Everything you wear to divorce court should be modest and polished. You want to look clean, neat, and dependable. Although you may want to show off your flashy side, you’ll probably benefit in the long run by playing by the court’s rules.