Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce
Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce
Establish Boundaries
Running into your ex after a divorce can be a bit of a shock if you see them unexpectedly. However, you can establish boundaries with them during the divorce itself. If there are certain classes you take together, or activities you both participate in, you can figure out whether or not to continue these. If you do not want to see each other, you can establish that early. You can handle children’s events the same way. If you’d rather not run into them, plan to divvy up events so that you don’t overlap with each other.Keep Living Your Life
After running into your ex after a divorce, you might be tempted to avoid that place where you saw them. But really, it’s possible to run into them anywhere. If you avoid every place you think that they might show up, you’ll end up limiting your own happiness. Keep living your life. If you run into them, you run into them. Avoiding places you enjoy will just make you unhappy in the end, and gives them all the power that you fought hard for.Don’t Make a Scene
If the dreaded event occurs, try not to make a scene. Running into your ex after a divorce might be a shock to the system. But making a public scene is really not the solution. You’ve already hashed out your divorce, so arguing after the fact will get you nowhere. You two got divorced for a reason, it’s unlikely that you’ll change their minds about anything or that they’ll change yours.Take the High Road
Running into your ex after a divorce can happen anytime. And it’s possible that you’ll also meet their new partner or they’ll meet your new partner. It’s always best to take the high road. Try to speak with confidence and don’t stoop to arguing with them or acting bitter. The happier you seem after your divorce, the more they’ll realize what a great catch you were that they let go. Act politely, calmly, and with confidence, and keep the encounter short. Running into your ex after a divorce is just one of many painful milestones that you probably will face during a separation. However, living in fear of it will only make you unhappy. Don’t avoid places where you think you might run into your ex because then you’ll just be limiting your own freedom. You can set boundaries at the outset of your divorce so that you know you won’t run into them any more than is needed. If it does happen, try to remain calm and speak with confidence. Don’t make a public scene or try to get into an argument over your divorce. Take the high road and show that you have moved on maturely. Hopefully, you won’t run into them often, but when you do you’ll be able to handle it with confidence and grace.Practicing Self-Care After Your Divorce
If you’ve gone through a divorce, you may feel like you’ve been through the wringer. Divorce can be incredibly painful and the stress of it is often compared to the stress of losing a loved one. Self-care after your divorce is so important for your mental health. You deserve to focus on yourself for a little while and heal. Do this by giving yourself time to grieve. Get back to your hobbies and interests. Reconnect with friends since you’ve most likely been very busy. And finally, accept help when it’s offered. You’ve been through so much, giving yourself some self-care is necessary for your mental well-being.
Practicing Self-Care After Your Divorce: Taking Time for Yourself
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
Self-care after your divorce starts with giving yourself time and space to experience emotions. You might have been feeling pressure to stay strong. You’ve also probably been very busy lately. You might not have had time really accept your new life. Take time to grieve the loss of your marriage and also the vision you had of your future. It’s okay to swing from emotion to emotion. Now that your divorce is final, you can take the time to feel all the emotions you’ve been too busy to really experience.
Get Back to Your Passions
Another way to practice self-care after your divorce is to get back to your passions. Maybe you had hobbies that you’ve been too stressed or busy to focus on lately. If so, take some time to get back into those. You can also try out a new hobby by taking a class. A bonus of this is that you also could meet new people by doing this. A new hobby can take your mind off of thinking about your divorce.
Reconnect with Friends
Self-care after your divorce should include reconnecting with friends. Sometimes people are hesitant to get together with friends while they go through the divorce process. This is because they don’t really want to discuss the divorce or are afraid of giving away information to a mutual friend. In addition, if you’ve been in a controlling relationship, your partner might not have even let you spend a lot of time with others. If you’ve fallen out of touch with friends for any of these reasons, now is the time to reconnect. Getting out of the house and socializing will help you take your mind off of your divorce.
Accept Help
Finally, self-care after your divorce can include accepting help when it’s offered. Maybe a friend or family member is willing to watch your kids give you a night off. Take them up on the offer! You may even find that a therapist is very helpful in helping your deal with any leftover stress. Many people find it difficult to accept help from others. But you’ve been through enough stress, and you deserve to accept some help.
Self-care after your divorce is so important for your mental well-being. You’ve been through so much stress and deserve to have some time to take care of yourself. Give yourself time and space to experience the range of emotions that come with such a big life change. Get back to your old hobbies or find a new interest to focus on. Reconnect with old friends to help get your mind off of the divorce. And finally, accept help when it’s offered to you. Your friends and family just want what’s best for you. You’ve been through a major life change, and giving yourself a little self-love is important for your mental health.
Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce
Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce: Get Your Groove Back
Refocus on Old Hobbies
One way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Oftentimes, divorce can be extremely time-consuming and stressful. It’s hard to make time for hobbies. Now that your divorce is final, you can try to get back to hobbies you care about. If you’re a talented painter, make time to paint. Or try to find a new hobby like yoga or meditation. Finding things you’re passionate about can really boost your self-confidence as you hone new skills.Reconnect with Old Friends
Another way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to reconnect with old friends. You might have lost touch with people in the stress of the divorce process. If that’s the case, take the time now to reach out to them. For example, ask a friend to dinner or for a quick coffee. They can help you process your feelings about the divorce. It’s also confidence-boosting to be around people you care about and who respect you.Positive Affirmations
Many people find positive affirmations to be very helpful in rebuilding confidence after a divorce. Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself repeatedly in order to reprogram your brain to focus on positivity instead of negative self-talk. Many people find it helpful to write them where they’ll be seen frequently. For example, on the bathroom mirror so that they see them each morning as soon as they wake up. It could be something as simple as “I am worth loving.” Conversely, it could be something specific to yourself like “I will name three things I’m grateful for each morning as I brush my teeth.”Get Help
Rebuilding confidence after a divorce can be difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to figure it out on your own. Try reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They’ll be able to help you with negative self-talk and self-doubt. They can often recommend ideas for boosting self-confidence. In addition, it can be very helpful just to have another person to vent your feelings to. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. Divorce can be very damaging to your self-confidence. If you’ve realized that you now have lower self-esteem it’s important to rebuild confidence after a divorce. Re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Finding things that you’re good at can to boost your confidence. Next, re-connect with old friends with who you’ve lost touch. In addition, many people find positive affirmations to be helpful with self-confidence. And finally, get help from a professional. A therapist or counselor is a great resource to use if you’re struggling with low self-esteem. If you can build back your self-confidence after a divorce, you can move on to the next exciting stage of life.How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Children
It can be hard to know how to make divorce easier on your children. But divorce is incredibly hard on them as well as you. So it’s important to try and be aware of their needs and feelings. It’s important to reassure them frequently that the divorce is not related to them. In addition, always be a good listener when they want to talk about their feelings. Be a team with your ex, at least when it comes to the kids. Put aside your differences to make the transition easier for your children. And finally, get your children to help if they need it or ask for it. Divorce is hard on everybody, but your children will need your support.
How to Make Divorce Easier on Your Children: Help Your Kids Through It
Reassure Them
The most important thing to make divorce easier on your children is to constantly be reassuring. No matter what you or your partner tell them, children are very apt to blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Tell them repeatedly that they are not to blame. You also need to reassure them that their lives will settle back down soon. The divorce process can be hard, but knowing that their schedule will be more predictable in the future is helpful for kids. And finally, reassure them of how much you love them. Even older children are going through an especially fragile time and will need to hear it often.
Listen to Them
Another way to make divorce easier on your children is to listen to them. Some kids are very hesitant to talk about their parents’ divorce. Others have lots of questions and want to discuss their feelings. Don’t try to force your children to talk to you if they don’t want to. But when they do choose to talk, be a good listener. They may say things that upset you, but try to put their feelings first and listen to everything they say.
Be a Team
Being a team player with your ex can be hard. But it can make divorce easier on your children in the end. You may have your differences, and you may feel that your ex is in the wrong. However, your children still see them as loving parents. It’s important not to bad-mouth them in front of your kids. This can upset your children greatly. Try to at least work with your ex when it comes to coordinating schedules for your children so that their schedule stays somewhat dependable.
Get them Help
Finally, make divorce easier on your children by getting them help if they need it. Some children just may not be able to express their emotions in a healthy way. Or be able to talk to you about their feelings. If this is the case, consider talking to a child therapist. They might be able to really help your kids work through their emotions. A therapist or psychologist can be a neutral party for them to who they may feel more comfortable opening up.
Divorce can be incredibly stressful on kids, so it’s important to try and make divorce easier on your children. Try to always reassure them they are not to blame and that you love them. In addition, be a good listener if they want to talk to you about their feelings. Put aside hurt feelings in order to work together with your ex to keep your children’s schedules reliable. And finally, get them professional help if they need it or if they ask for it. Remember that as an adult, you’re better equipped to handle your emotions. Your children will need your help getting through what can be a very stressful time in their lives.
Survival Tips for Divorce: Dealing with the Stress
Divorce is hard. In fact, some people think it’s as stressful as the death of a loved one. Because in a way, you are losing something very valuable. However, some quick survival tips for divorce can help you deal with the stress and cope with the hurt of the divorce process. First of all, lean on family and friends. They’ll be your biggest advocates and help you through this difficult time. Ask professionals to get involved, like an attorney and a therapist. Practice self-care to keep yourself sane. And finally, try to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. You’ll be getting a fresh start and can hopefully find a new partner someday that is better suited for you.
Survival Tips for Divorce: Dealing with the Stress and Coping with the Hurt
Lean on Friends
One of the most important survival tips for divorce is to lean on family and friends. Divorce is one of the most difficult things you can go through. You’ll need to surround yourself with people who love you to help you deal with the stress. Try to get comfortable asking for help. Your friends and family genuinely want to help you, so lean on them when you’re overwhelmed. Let them cook you food or take your children off your hands for a night. Try to let them shoulder some of the emotional stress you’re feeling.
Ask the Professionals
Another important survival tip for divorce is to get professionals involved. You’ll want an experienced and knowledgeable attorney by your side every step of the way. They’ll be your advocate and protect your interests in court. In addition, you may find that speaking with a therapist is helpful. While friends and family can be very supportive, sometimes a trained professional can be even more helpful.
Practice Self-Care
Practicing self-care is one of the survival tips for divorce that gets neglected the most. Divorce is a long and stressful process. If you don’t take time to take care of yourself, you’ll burn out. Try to take breaks here and there when you can and pamper yourself a little. Maybe that means taking yourself out for a meal. Or renting a movie and eating all the snacks you want. You might even try a massage or a long bubble bath. Whatever self-care looks like to you, make time for it to keep yourself sane.
Look at the Fresh Start
Finally, one last one of the survival tips for divorce is to try and look on the bright side of things. Rather than focusing on the negatives or the hurt feelings, try to find the positives. A divorce is long and grueling. But ultimately it means the end of a relationship that wasn’t working for you. So divorce means you’re getting a fresh start. Try to let go of any bitterness and focus on how you want your future to look.
Divorce is incredibly difficult, but these survival tips for divorce can hopefully help you manage. Lean on your friends and family as much as you can because they honestly probably want to help you. In addition, call in the big guns and hire professionals to help you. An attorney and a therapist can make the entire process much more manageable. Make time for self-care so that you can start fresh and energized. And finally, try to focus on the fresh start you’re getting after your divorce, instead of the hurt. Try to think about what you’d like your future to look like. Before you know it, you’ll be finalizing your divorce and moving on to more healthy relationships.
Is it Time for a Divorce? When to Call it Quits
Wondering when it is time for a divorce might be stressing you out if you and your partner are having relationship troubles. It depends on your unique situation, but below are some things to consider if you’ve been considering divorce. If you and your partner have different visions for your future that can’t be changed, you may not be able to make your marriage work. In addition, if you’ve lost respect for one another, support, or intimacy it may be time. Counseling can be helpful for many couples who are considering divorce, so if you’ve tried it without success, maybe now is the time. And finally, if you’re both on the same page that you want a divorce, then it’s definitely time. Divorce can be stressful, but it’s better to figure that out now than continue to drag out a marriage that isn’t working.
Is it Time for a Divorce: When to Call it Quits on a Marriage
You Have Different Visions for Your Future
It might be time for a divorce if you and your partner have completely different visions of your future. Especially if neither of you is willing to change your mind. Compromise is a huge factor in a successful marriage. However, there may be things that you simply can’t come to an agreement on. For example, whether or not to have children. If you aren’t on the same page with where you want your lives to go, you might not be able to make the marriage work. Even if you want to.
You’ve Lost Respect, Support, and Intimacy
Another way to tell if it’s time for a divorce is if you’ve lost respect, support, and intimacy. A relationship is only successful if you and your spouse respect one another. You need to be each other’s biggest supporter to get through the tough times. Intimacy is also important in a relationship. Not just sexual intimacy but friendship and love as well. If your relationship is lacking these things, it might be time to consider separating.
You’ve Tried Counseling
Marriage counseling is very helpful for many couples. It can be one of the best ways to avoid divorce if you and your spouse are having relationship troubles. However, if you’ve tried counseling and it hasn’t worked, you might turn to divorce. A professional counselor or therapist might be able to help you work through problems in your marriage. However, if they’ve been unsuccessful it could mean that you two are simply not going to be able to work things out. If that’s the case then it might be time for a divorce.
You’re On the Same Page
Finally, you’ll definitely know it’s time for a divorce if you and your spouse are on the same page about wanting one. Some couples mutually decide that divorce is the right path for them. In these situations, divorce can be a bit smoother. However, sometimes one partner is very reluctant to go down this path. It’s important to really talk honestly with your partner about how you’re feeling. If they’re feeling the same way and you both feel that you’ve done everything you can, it might be time to end your marriage.
It’s hard to know when to give up on your marriage, but unfortunately, some just do not work out. If you and your partner have very different views of your future lives, you may not be able to reconcile. In addition, if you’ve lost respect, support, and intimacy it might be a red flag. Marriage counseling can be helpful, but if you’ve tried it unsuccessfully then you might be ready for a divorce. And finally, if you and your spouse both agree that you want the divorce, then it’s definitely time to hire a divorce attorney and get started. Deciding when it’s time for a divorce can be scary and sad. However, it’s much better to get on the same page and move forward with a divorce than to stay in an unhappy marriage.
Missing Your Children Because of Split Custody
If you have recently gone through a divorce, you might be missing your children because of split custody. Suddenly going from having your children with you all the time to having to take turns with their other parent can be incredibly hard. Remember that you will eventually adjust to the new normal of your schedule. However, in the short term, try to use modern technology to your advantage. Talk to a friend or therapist if you need a sympathetic ear. Find a hobby to fill your time, and plan to focus on yourself for a little while. It can be difficult to spend time away from your children, but you’ll adjust to your custody arrangement in time. Just remember that you and your ex have made the decision that ultimately is the best for your children.
Missing Your Children Because of Split Custody: A New Normal
Use Technology to Your Advantage
Modern technology can be a huge help if you’re missing your children because of split custody. There are tons of apps out there that will allow you to keep up with them even when you’re apart. You can try to schedule times to call them or video chat each night. Make sure that you extend the same courtesy to your ex when they are missing the kids too. If your children are young, it might be harder for them when they see or hear you on the phone. But you and your ex can still exchange pictures or short videos of your children when you’re apart.
Talk to a Friend
If you feel like you need to talk to somebody about missing your children because of split custody, find a friend or therapist that can lend an ear. You might want to speak to a friend who has gone through something similar. They can give you support and offer comfort when you are feeling sad. A therapist can help you find coping strategies for when you’re missing them. Sometimes, another person can put things in perspective and help you remember that it’ll soon be your turn to have the children.
Find a Hobby
The hardest thing about missing your children because of split custody is dealing with boredom. Your life used to be filled with being focused on your kids every minute of the day. Suddenly, you have time to yourself where they don’t need you. Boredom can make you feel even sadder because you might be lonely. Plan in advance for the time that you won’t have them. Plan out a schedule so that you have a structure for your day. Now is a great time to find a new hobby. Focusing your time on a new passion can help take your mind off of missing your kids.
Focus on Yourself
Finally, one other way to feel better if you are missing your children because of split custody is to focus on yourself for a little while. Find something that makes you happy, which will give you something to look forward to when you are away from them. For example, buy a new book or movie that you can put away until you have a weekend without your kids. Or plan to have dinner with a friend without the stress of finding a babysitter. You’ll have a distraction ready to go for when you inevitably feel sad about missing them. Though you miss them, try to take advantage of the time away to focus on yourself for a little while.
Missing your children because of split custody is a hard thing to adjust to. Just remember that you will eventually get used to your new arrangement, and the time away will be easier to handle. Use modern apps and phone calls to stay in touch when you need to talk to them. Find a friend to talk to when you’re feeling sad. Focus on a new hobby to distract yourself, and take some “me” time. Finally, if you are having a hard time adjusting, talk to a therapist. Hopefully, you will be able to remember that your separation was the best thing for your family. Though you miss them when they’re away, you will hopefully adjust soon to your new custody arrangement.
How-to: Find Your Post-Divorce Identity
It isn’t all that uncommon to feel lost during and after your divorce. Considering how much of your life has changed, those feelings are to be expected. However, it’s important to start focusing on your post-divorce identity. Doing so will help you move forwards and begin to feel at peace once again…
How-to: Find Your Post-Divorce Identity: Accept Change
Loss of identity
The reason it can be hard to find your post-divorce identity is because of how much has changed in your life. Of course, there’s the divorce itself to consider. Your marriage probably played a big role in defining who you were. Suddenly losing that part of your identity is going to leave you feeling confused as to what you should do next.
There’s also the fact that you may struggle with being single too. It could be that since it’s been so long since you were single, you don’t know what that kind of life is like. Even things you think you should enjoy can feel odd now that you’re divorced.
Processing change
A large part of finding your post-divorce identity comes down to processing these new changes. This won’t be something that can be done overnight. However, by slowly understanding and accepting these changes, you can begin to feel more confident about yourself and your new life.
In fact, one of the best things to do is to start making changes yourself. That way, you can start to feel like you’re back in control of what’s going on. Some good changes to make can including exercising, eating healthier, and spend more time with friends and family.
Enjoy being in control
Remember that after your divorce, you’re now in total control of your life. You no longer need to worry about what your spouse does or doesn’t want you to do. This gives you a lot of freedom to truly begin creating your post-divorce identity. In particular, you can now do all the things you never felt like you could while married.
Having this new freedom means there’s a whole lot of new opportunities for you to explore. You can try new hobbies, travel to new places, and meet new people. As you do this, you’ll quickly find ways to not only enjoy this new life but also really thrive in it as well.
The Positives of Divorce: Find Your Happy
Divorce is tough. There’s no getting around it. Going through a divorce can leave you emotionally and financially drained. But there are also plenty of positives of divorce. For one, you get your freedom back. For another, your kids will probably be better off. And finally, you get to have the thrill of falling in love again in your future. It’s stressful now, but there are still silver linings to look forward to.
The Positives of Divorce: Find Your Happy Again
Freedom
One of the biggest positives of divorce? Freedom! Going through the end stages of a relationship can feel overwhelming. You’ve probably been in and out of court and fighting with your ex. Once your divorce is finalized, you’ll be free to take your time back for yourself. Find a new hobby or revive an old one. Hang out with friends that you’ve been neglecting. You’re free to make your own plans without having to coordinate with your ex. If you’ve been in a controlling or abusive relationship, you’re now free to live the way you want.
Best for Children
Many couples try to “stick it out” in a relationship that isn’t working for the sake of their kids. But staying with the wrong person can mean added stress and fighting. This kind of atmosphere isn’t what’s best for your children. You and your ex getting along and supporting each other as a divorced couple will make them happier in the long run. One of the positives of divorce is that all in all, it’s probably what’s best for your kids. Your children will probably grow to respect your decision as they get older. You also don’t want to set the example of marriage being unhappy for them.
Possibility of New Love
One of the most fun positives of divorce is that you get to start dating again. While it can feel overwhelming, don’t forget to have fun. New relationships can be exciting. You get to have another first kiss! You also get to use what you learned from your first marriage to make any future relationships even stronger. Now you know exactly what you need out of a partner. You might be quicker to recognize red flags in a relationship. And hopefully, you’ve gained some self-confidence along the way. This will serve to make any future relationships stronger than ever.
Although divorce is one of the most difficult things a person can go through, don’t forget that there are positives of divorce too. Try to remember that you are making the decision that’s best for yourself and your children. And don’t forget to enjoy your new freedom and dating possibilities!