How to Talk About Your Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be incredibly painful to talk about your divorce. However, inevitably it’s going to come up in conversations. It can help to have an idea of what you’d like to say when people ask that doesn’t give away too many details. Start with your close family and friends and then slowly expand the circle of people that know. You might want to give your boss a heads up as well. Have an idea of how you want to approach the conversation. And always avoid trash-talking your ex, and don’t be afraid to remind people that this is something they should keep private. As time goes on it will feel easier and easier to talk about your divorce as you begin to emotionally move on.

How to Talk About Your Divorce: Getting Comfortable with the Conversation

Telling Friends and Family

When you talk about your divorce, it should probably start with your close family. For instance, your parents and siblings. This is a big adjustment for them because the future they imagined for you is changing. Try to leave out the nitty-gritty details and don’t assume that your friends will need to “pick a side.” You don’t need to tell a ton of people until after your divorce is final, so stick to very close friends and family.

Telling Work

While your coworkers don’t necessarily need to know anything about your private life, you might want to let your boss know. It would help if you talked about your divorce with them and maybe your HR rep. This way, they won’t be surprised if you need some time off for court dates. Assure them that it won’t affect your work.

Have a Script

It can help to have a script ready to go when you talk about divorce. Especially if you are telling a casual acquaintance. You could say that although you both wanted it to, the marriage wasn’t working. Ask them to respect your privacy as well. Having something prepared in advance can prevent you from feeling caught off guard if somebody casually asks about it.

Don’t Trash Talk

Finally, the most important thing to remember is to avoid trash-talking about your ex when you talk about your divorce. It can be easy to want to tell everybody about how they hurt you. However, it doesn’t help anything and your ex might find out. This can affect your co-parenting relationship if you have children or can make your divorce even more contentious.


When you begin to talk about your divorce, it can feel very awkward at first. However, eventually, you’ll need to be able to tell people about it in a way that doesn’t invite a lot of questions or nosiness. Have a script ready to go that keeps things short and sweet. Tell your family and close friends first. Then slowly move out to more distant acquaintances after the divorce is final. Don’t let your divorce become office gossip, however, you should let your boss know. Assure them that it won’t affect your work. Have an idea of how to tackle the question if people ask you about your divorce that doesn’t involve trash-talking your ex. Hopefully, you’ll begin to feel less uncomfortable telling people about your divorce as you start to heal and move on with your life.

Home Buying Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When your divorce is over, it might be nice to spruce up the home a bit. However, what if want to live somewhere new? Home buying post-divorce can be a bit complex, which is why you’ll want to make sure you do it right…

Home Buying Post-Divorce

Be financially ready

Before engaging in any home buying post-divorce, you need to be financial prepared. Divorce tends to leave a big impression on a person’s finances. You might have to not just pay divorce costs, but also adapt to a new single-income household. This can leave your finances in a bit of a critical state.

Plus, buying a house isn’t cheap. It’s a big financial commitment, so you need to be sure you’re ready. Consider what you have saved now, and if it’ll cover buying a house and the other costs, like moving. It’s much better to wait and save in order to avoid financial issues.

Know your needs

Another thing to consider when home buying post-divorce is what you need in a house. For instance, if you have kids, you’ll need rooms and space for them. If you don’t, then you could make due with a smaller home. Or, maybe you need a house which is closer to your new job.

When you recognize your needs, you can plan your house searching accordingly. Plus, you’ll also avoid buying a house with things you don’t need. After all, the bigger the house, the more it’ll cost. Saving money when you can is always handy with purchases like these.

Use a professional

Home buying post-divorce isn’t something you want to do blind. Trying to find house and look at them yourself is going to be a struggle. Plus, odds are you don’t know the finer details which you should be looking for. That’s why it’s useful to bring in a professional.

Making use of a real estate agent can help ensure you find the right house for you. These agents will know what homes are available, if they fit your budget, and where they may need repairs or inspections. That way, you don’t get burned on a potentially bad buy.

Divorce News: Making a Plan

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be hard to bring up divorce with your spouse. However, it can be even harder to break the divorce news to your kids. With how traumatic divorce can be for them, you want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible…

Divorce News: Telling The Kids

Tell them together

When breaking divorce news to your kids, it’s important you and your spouse tell them together. In effect, you’ll both want to maintain a united front. After all, you kids aren’t going to know what you know about the divorce or who suggested it. Doing it together helps tell them you’re still working together.

Also, this avoids sending them any mixed messages. If you tell them first, and your partner does later, it could confuse your kids. Plus, you won’t know what your partner could say. Doing this together is good for making sure you’re both on the same page.

Wait for a good time

Another thing to remember when breaking divorce news to the kids is that timing is key. You don’t want to decide on a divorce, and then immediately tell the kids. You’ll also want to avoid telling them when they’re already angry or upset due to something else. Instead, you should make sure the time is right.

Wait until you and your spouse are sure you’ll divorce, and have some kind of plan set in place. Then, be sure to tell the kids somewhere they feel comfortable, and when they aren’t already emotional. This will help ensure the potential shockisn’t made worse by outside factors.

Know what to tell them

Of course, if you’re breaking divorce news, you should know what exactly you’re going to say. Your kids don’t need all the specific details of what went wrong. Most of it probably won’t make sense to them, especially if they’re younger. Rather, you should give them reassurance and a plan for the future.

Be sure that your kids know they aren’t responsible for the divorce, and that you both still love them. This reassurance is important for helping them start to process what’s going on. Then, tell them what might be happening in the future. If they know what to expect, then it’ll be easier for them to prepare emotionally.

Co-Parenting Events: Keys To Success

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When you start to co-parent with your ex, it’s important to remember that you’ll be doing more than just watching the kids every now and then. Things will come up that will inevitably require both of you to be there. In these cases, you will have to learn to manage co-parenting events. These public events can be hard to adjust to, but it’s important you work together to keep the peace…

Co-Parenting Events: Adjusting to Change

Establish roles

When co-parenting events, it helps to establish roles beforehand. In particular, you should determine who is the “on-duty” parent and “off-duty” parent. The on-duty parent is usually the one who was watching the kids before the event began. The off-duty parent, in contrast, is the one who didn’t have the kids and comes on their own.

These roles help prevent you from both trying to compete to parent. Instead, the on-duty one should take the lead, like they would if they were watching the kids at their own home. Meanwhile, the off-duty one should be a bit more relaxed, making sure the kids check in with the on-duty parent if they want permission to do things. Alternating these roles will let you keep things fair.

Respect each other

It’s also important to show respect to each other when co-parenting events. Things might be a little tense or awkward between the both of you, especially if the divorce was recent. Making a public appearance together after splitting can cause you or your partner to get a bit anxious or standoffish. Therefore, you don’t want to make matters worse.

Instead, be respectful of how your ex feels. If they want to talk to you, then they’ll probably make that apparent. However, if they’re a bit more distant, then respect that and don’t try and push them to talk. Doing so can just make them angrier and upset, and put a damper on the event for your kids.

Remember why you’re there

Sometimes, it can be easy to forget why you’re co-parenting events in the first place. Worrying about how your ex is going to act can cause you both to lose sight of the bigger picture. You’re both there to support your kids and show your appreciation for them. As a result, try to use this shared goal to help things go smoothly.

When you and your ex start to get somewhat heated or a disagreement arises, take a step back and think about how you don’t want to ruin things for your kids. Talk things out normally and remember the roles you’ve established for the particular event. This can make it a lot easier to avoid arguments and let your kids have the support they need from both of their parents.

Strengthening Your Marriage After Children

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The baby and toddler years are some of the toughest for parents, so strengthening your marriage after children can seem like a daunting task. But it’s important to start making your relationship a priority again. Start by creating small rituals every day that connect the two of you. Try to practice gratitude with one another, and make a point to recognize their contributions. Support one another when the stress of parenting gets overwhelming. And finally, make time for just the two of you to be alone without kids in tow. It can be hard to find the time to devote to your relationship when you have all the stress of young children. However, it will help strengthen your relationship and make your marriage last.

Strengthening Your Marriage After Children: Surviving the Toddler Years

Create Small Rituals

One of the easy ways of strengthening your marriage after children is to create small rituals every day that connects you. They don’t have to be big. Just simple, easy-to-remember things that you can both look forward to each day. For example, you could share a cup of coffee in the morning before the kids wake up. Or take a few minutes after bedtime to hear about one another’s day. Even just a text message throughout the day can help you feel closer.

Recognize their Contributions

It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of life with young kids and forget to notice all the amazing things that your partner does. But it can help your marriage after children if you try to make a point to recognize the small things they do for you and say out loud how grateful you are. Maybe your partner always takes out the trash without you having to ask, or makes you breakfast in the morning. Maybe it’s just that the groceries show up week after week, or the diaper pail is suddenly empty. No matter how small, if it’s a gesture that makes your life easier, recognize it and thank them.

Support One Another

Another great way of reconnecting in your marriage after children or with little ones in tow is to simply support one another. There will be days when each of you feels burnt out or grieves the loss of the freedom you used to have. Everybody has days where their temper is a bit shorter. Try to jump in and help out more when you sense that your partner is getting frazzled, and hopefully they’ll do the same for you.

Have Some One-on-One Time

Finally, the advice that everybody gets for strengthening your marriage after children is to keep dating each other. This is easier said than done though when leaving the house requires a babysitter. But it truly is important to make time for just the two of you to be together. Even if you don’t leave the house, set aside a little time each week to have dinner together after the kids are in bed. Turn off your phones and focus on one another. If you have the means or the help to go out for a meal or spend an afternoon together, even better. Having a little one-on-one time without kids interrupting or screaming in the background is just what you need to reconnect.

Strengthening your marriage after children is important because those young baby and toddler years are tough on a relationship. You both are probably exhausted, stressed, touched-out, and at the ends of your rope some days. But it truly will make a difference in your happiness if you can find a way to reconnect with your partner. Try to create small rituals together every day. Recognize all that your spouse does for you, and say out loud how grateful you are to them. Help one another out when times get tough. Everybody has bad days, so tag-teaming is the best way to support each other. And finally, carve out time for just the two of you to hang out without distractions. Children consume all their energy and time. But making a little effort to reconnect with your spouse will improve the overall happiness of your entire family.

Starting the Divorce Conversation: How to Begin

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The idea of starting the divorce conversation with your spouse can be painful to consider. However, most people tend to reach a breaking point in their relationship when they decide firmly that they do not want to continue the marriage. If you are at that point, it might be a good idea to speak to an attorney first to understand the legal process of divorce. Make sure that you are certain about your decision because you cannot unring the divorce bell. Pick the right time and place when there won’t be interruptions and try to keep the conversation calm. Your spouse might react in several different ways, but it’s important to stand firm and explain your reasoning. Hopefully, you and your ex will be in mutual agreement and can proceed with an amicable divorce.

Starting the Divorce Conversation: How to Begin the Talk with Your Spouse

Speak to an Attorney First

Many find it helpful to speak to an attorney before starting the divorce conversation. In some states, you’ll need to do a period of separation before you can begin the divorce process. An attorney can help you figure out what the steps are in your state. They can also help you decide if there are any steps you’ll want to take ahead of time to protect your assets before bringing up a divorce if you worry that your spouse might react badly. Having an idea of what you’re getting into can be a great place to start.

Make Sure that You Are Sure

Before starting the divorce conversation, make sure that you are certain about your decision. This is a bell that you cannot unring, so make sure that you won’t change your mind. For example, don’t decide on divorce in the heat of an argument. Rather, take a lot of time to think about all of the repercussions. It can also be helpful to speak with a relationship counselor to make sure that there aren’t ways to work through your problems.

Picking the Right Time

If you’ve considered it carefully and want to move forward with starting the divorce conversation, make sure that you pick your timing carefully. Find a time when you will not be interrupted. If you have small children, find childcare for them. In addition, make sure that you have plenty of time set aside for the conversation. For example, don’t try to spring it on your partner as they rush out the door for work. And finally, don’t bring up divorce in the middle of a heated argument. Instead, you’ll want to find a time when both you and your spouse are in a calm mental space.

Having the Talk

When you finally decide it’s time for starting the divorce conversation, just know that your partner might react in many different ways. For example, they might get upset, angry, or completely surprised. It’s important to keep your tone neutral and calm so that you can have a productive conversation. You want to make sure that you can explain yourself fully, so try not to let yourself get sidetracked by extreme emotions. In addition, if you are set in your decision, convey that. Don’t waver or act uncertain, but instead be firm with what you want.

Starting the divorce conversation is an overwhelming thing to consider. Divorce is a big deal, and not a decision that you should come to light. It can be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor to help you make sure that this is the decision you want to make. In addition, it can also help to speak to an attorney beforehand so that you know what to expect out of the divorce process. Once you are certain about your decision, picking your timing is important. Finally, when you begin the conversation, try to make sure that you are firm but calm. Nobody wants to go through the stressful divorce process, however, staying in an unhealthy marriage can be much worse. Hopefully, you and your partner can move forward with separation and divorce in mutual agreement.

Possible Living Arrangements After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
There are several possible living arrangements after divorce if you and your ex are sharing custody of your children. You’ll each want to be equally involved in their lives. And it’s best to find a solution that doesn’t disrupt their normal life any more than necessary. Some parents opt to keep their original home and let one parent live there while the other rents another place. There are also situations where both parents choose to find their own spaces. However, some more unconventional ideas might work better. Nesting involves parents sharing a home on different days. And finally, double nesting means that parents live as roommates. Figuring out which solution works best for your family will depend on finances, location, and your co-parenting relationship.

Possible Living Arrangements After Divorce: Finding the Best Fit for Shared Custody

One Parent Moves Out

The most conventional of the types of living arrangements after divorce is when one parent keeps the house and the other moves out. In this situation, the parent moving out typically rents another space. The children then go back and forth between the two homes. This works well for many families because kids get to stay in a home that is familiar to them at least part of the time.

Both Parents Find New Homes

Another possible living arrangement after divorce is for both parents to find new places to live. Oftentimes families choose this option if the payments on their home are very expensive and it makes more sense financially to rent smaller, cheaper places. In this situation, children would still move back and forth between the two homes.

Nesting

Nesting is one of the less conventional living arrangements after divorce that is gaining a lot of popularity. In this situation, the children live full-time in their original home. The parents each take turns living in that home with them. Parents might share another location or each has a separate living space for when they are not living in the home with their children. This option allows your children to live in their homes without disruption or the need to shuffle back and forth.

Double Nesting

Finally, while most living arrangements after divorce involve the parents living separately, some families choose something called double nesting. This is when both parents stay in the home with their children and designate separate living quarters within the home that are their own. In this situation, the parents essentially live like roommates sharing a home and children. This is a tricky arrangement that only works if the parents can get along well and co-parent peacefully.

While there are many different living arrangements after divorce, your family might need to consider many variables when deciding which makes the most sense for you. Many families decide to allow one parent to stay in the home while the other parent rents their own space. Others choose to both move-out and find new homes. Both of these situations involve shuffling kids back and forth between two houses. However, if you and your ex do not want to re-locate your children, you can choose to try nesting and each share the home some of the time with your kids. Or if you feel like you can get along well as roommates, double nesting might be for you. However you decide to handle your post-divorce living situation, your children will probably adjust quickly. Hopefully, you can quickly find the solution that works best for your family.

Recovering Financially After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Recovering financially after divorce can be a lengthy process. Divorce is very expensive and can leave you in a very different financial situation than before you started. So it’s important to take stock once the dust settles and see where you are with your finances. Figure out your credit score, and work on rebuilding credit if it’s low. Create a budget and try to stick to it as much as possible. And remember to focus on your savings account so that you are prepared for emergencies and unexpected expenses. It can be helpful to get help from a financial advisor to create a realistic budget. Hopefully, you can begin building up your credit and putting away money for savings.

Recovering Financially After Divorce: Moving On without Going into Debt

Take Stock

After you’ve given yourself a little time to heal, it’s important to take stock of where you are once the divorce is final. Your living situation might have changed as well as your expenses and income. Therefore, it’s helpful to create a list of all of your assets, debts, income, and savings. Figuring out what’s coming in versus going out can help you with recovering financially after divorce.

Find Your Credit Score

Another important aspect of recovering financially after divorce is to figure out your credit score. Your score might change now that you and your ex have separate accounts. And your credit score is very important when you need to make decisions about housing or vehicles. Check your score, and if it’s low, look into ways to bring it up. Make sure to always pay bills on time and pay them in full.

Create a Budget

Now that you are living on your own, you need to create a budget for yourself. This might look very different than the budget that you and your ex shared. It can be helpful when recovering financially after divorce to put yourself on a limited budget to build up your savings. Try to cut back on unnecessary spending like eating out or purchases. At least for a little while until you can get more stable.

Focus on Savings

Finally, when recovering financially after divorce, focus on your savings. It’s important to have healthy savings account so that you are prepared for emergencies. Or for unexpected expenses like medical bills, car maintenance, or house repairs. It’s just you now, so you need to have a safety net for yourself. Focus on an emergency fund first, then move on to saving for things like vacations. Recovering financially after divorce can be a stressful process, and might be an eye-opener if you’ve never lived on your own. It can be scary to go from two incomes to one or to lose the support of a spouse’s income. However, you will find your way soon enough. Take stock of all of your spending and savings once the dust has settled from your divorce. Figure out your credit score and start working on building it up if it’s a little low. Create a budget and try to stick to it as closely as you can. This way, you’ll be able to build up your savings so that you’re prepared for emergencies. Hopefully, you will figure out your finances and become stable quickly as you build your savings up.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
While the divorce process is, of course, stressful and painful, you might find that there are unexpected benefits of divorce. There are negative effects as well, but many people are surprised to find some silver linings. Many find that they are more confident after a divorce. In addition, you will likely have more free time. And what’s more, your time is your own. Divorce can be a great way to start some new beginnings and exciting new chapters in your life. Finally, you can also prioritize your own goals and needs without feeling guilty. Divorce is difficult and it can be a very painful process. But hopefully, you will be able to experience some of these positive effects and begin to see your divorce as the start of a new chapter in your life.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce: Surprising Silver Linings

Confidence

Confidence is a very unexpected benefit of divorce. Most people assume that divorce will wreck their self-confidence. However, often the opposite is true. Divorce can be empowering and proof that you have what it takes to fight for what you deserve. What’s more, the thought of being single might be scary. However, after surviving a divorce, obstacles and fears might seem easier to overcome.

Free Time

Another unexpected benefit of divorce is that your time is now your own. You don’t have to worry about catering to your partner’s needs any longer. Or feel guilty when you take time for yourself. If you are now sharing custody of your children you might also have every other weekend free. While it can be a painful transition at first, you might start realizing there are a lot of benefits to having time to yourself now and then.

New Beginnings

Many people look at divorce as the closing of a chapter. But one of the surprising benefits of divorce is that it can be the first chapter in a new phase of life. Ending your marriage allows you to meet new people and even potentially a new partner. It might be just the fresh start you need to make changes in your life that you’ve been putting off for a long time.

Prioritizing Goals

Finally, another of the unexpected benefits of divorce is that you can now prioritize yourself and your own needs. If your marriage was on the rocks before, you might not have been able to take the time you need for self-care. In addition, if you put aside goals you now have the opportunity to reach for them. It’s okay to prioritize yourself now and get exactly what you want for your life.

While it can take a little while to realize the unexpected benefits of divorce, once you are through with the stress of the process itself, you can see the positives. Many find that although they thought they would be less confident, the process was empowering. And what’s more, they went through it and survived. After that, other fears might not seem as scary. Another positive is that your free time is now your own to do with as you please without guilt. You might also have more free time now, especially with shared custody. You can also prioritize your own goals and needs. And finally, divorce can often be the start of a new chapter in your life with exciting opportunities. While it can be painful and difficult, the divorce process is not all negative. There are some unexpected silver linings to look forward to eventually.

Where to Meet People After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you’ve just gone through a divorce, the idea of getting back into the dating game might have you feeling completely overwhelmed. The idea of going on a date is hard to imagine, but some people don’t even know where to start. If you’re wondering where to meet people after a divorce, try starting with a dating website. You can also ask a friend to set you up. Try looking for local meetup groups to meet other people more casually. And finally, don’t forget to hang out with other single friends because being a group can take the pressure off and bring other singles around. Hopefully, you can get back into the dating game and be well on your way to meeting somebody special.

Where to Meet People After a Divorce: Get Back in the Game

Dating Websites

The first place to start to meet people after a divorce is online. There are tons of dating websites nowadays. You can find sites based on your age, your hobbies, your religion, and more. There are even sites dedicated just to divorcees. You can choose to be upfront about your divorce right there in your profile. Or you can choose to wait until you’ve gone on a date or two to reveal your divorcee status to a new partner. It completely depends on your comfort level.

Ask A Friend

Don’t forget to ask your friends to help you meet people after a divorce. They may not be single, but they could know singles in your area that might be a good match. A bonus of this approach is that you already know that they’re approved by your friends. No need to worry about a stranger being dangerous. In addition, your friends know your personality and might be able to pair you up with somebody that would be a great match for you.

Meetup Group

There are plenty of local meetup groups you can try out if you are trying to meet people after a divorce. Whether you’re looking for a new date or just looking for a new group of friends to hang out with, meetup groups are great. You can find meetup groups to do just about any hobby or activity. Some sports meetups play things like kickball, softball, and volleyball. You can also find hobby groups for artists, hiking, or yoga. This is a great low-pressure way to meet new people. The idea isn’t to find romantic partners, but you never know when you might click with somebody.

Find Other Singles

Sometimes you can meet others more easily when you hang out in a group. Going out with your single friends might be a great way to meet people after a divorce. Single groups attract other single groups. And being in a group setting can take the pressure off of the first meeting with somebody. In addition, your friends can meet your new date at the same time.

Finding a way to meet people after a divorce can be overwhelming. Starting with an online website can be the easiest way to dip your toes back into the dating pool. You can also ask your friends and family if they know of any potential partners. Local meetup groups can help you meet tons of people in your area. And finally, sometimes hanging out with other single friends can help you casually meet other potential partners. The hardest thing about getting back into the dating world is just finding the confidence to start. But knowing where to meet new people can help take some of the pressure off and let you get started. Get back out there and find somebody who can be your new special someone!