Spotting Signs of Depression After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Depression after divorce is very common. Divorce is a hugely stressful event, and it marks the end of a marriage and future that you imagined for yourself. It’s okay to grieve over this loss. However, if the grief seems to be affecting your whole life, it’s important to pay attention to signs of depression. A lack of energy or feeling of hopelessness, or sleep disturbances might indicate some depression as can a lack of enjoyment in things you normally like to do. If the grief is causing problems in your life, or if you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or others, it’s time to seek help immediately. Many treatments might be able to help you overcome these feelings and get back to living your life.

Spotting Signs of Depression After Divorce: Know the Symptoms

Lack of Energy

One of the signs of depression after divorce is a lack of energy. It’s perfectly okay to want to take a little break and rest after your divorce is finalized. After all, it’s an incredibly draining process that can last a long time. However, if many weeks have gone by and you’re finding it hard to muster the energy for leaving the house or participating in activities, it might be time to look for some support.

Sleep Issues

Sleep disturbances can also be one of the symptoms of depression after divorce to watch out for. That might mean insomnia keeping you up all night, or an inability to get out of bed and sleeping the day away. If the pattern is different from your typical sleep, then it’s a cause to speak to a doctor or therapist. Do not try to self-medicate to get to sleep because some sleep medicines can become addictive.

Lack of Enjoyment

Another sign of depression after divorce is a lack of enjoyment in normal activities. If you are finding it difficult to enjoy the things in life that you normally do, it’s a cause for concern. While it’s normal to feel the blues after a divorce, you don’t want it to be sucking all the joy out of your life. In addition, feeling hopeless, or feeling like things will never get back to normal can also be signs of depression.

When to Get Help

It’s important to reach out and get help if you are experiencing symptoms of depression after divorce. There are many therapies, treatments, and medications you can try that might help you get back on your feet and feel like yourself. If you ever have thoughts of harming yourself or others, call for help immediately. Call a friend or family member to help you, call 911, or try the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Depression after divorce is quite common, but that doesn’t make it less concerning or difficult to deal with. It’s important to get the support you need to get through this tough time. If you are noticing signs of depression like a lack of energy, lack of enjoyment out of activities, or sleep disturbances, it’s important to reach out for help. If you experience suicidal thoughts, it’s an emergency. Therapy can be very helpful, as can outpatient and in-patient treatment plans for depression. In addition, there are medications that a doctor might be able to prescribe that can help you overcome these feelings and get back to feeling like yourself. Hopefully, you can get the support you need to get back on your feet and look forward to the next chapter of your life.

Engaging a Divorce Attorney

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Engaging a divorce attorney is in your best interest if you and your spouse are deciding to end your marriage. It’s best to get the process started as soon as possible so that your attorney can make sure that you are protecting yourself financially. Finding the right fit can take a little trial and error, but it’s best to speak to a few different attorneys. Consider the budget and speak to each of the attorneys about how their fees work. And finally, look for an attorney that has experience with cases similar to yours. It’s not necessarily helpful to rely just on the recommendations of friends because their divorce case might be very different from yours. Find an attorney that seems like they will be able to represent you during your divorce best and will help you get the settlement you deserve.

Engaging a Divorce Attorney: Finding the Right Fit

Start Early

Begin the process of engaging a divorce attorney as soon as you realize that divorce is a possibility. You want to ensure that you protect yourself financially if things begin to get ugly with your soon-to-be ex. In addition, they can help you begin gathering all of the information that you’re going to need later on down the road.

Ask Questions

Before engaging a divorce attorney, it’s best to speak to a few options. Try to set up meetings with two or three lawyers. Try to get a feel for their overall approach and how they or their team operate. You’re not looking to find a new best friend, but you need to feel comfortable enough, to be honest with them. Find somebody that you trust to represent you and that will keep things professional.

Consider Budget

It’s important to consider your budget when engaging a divorce attorney. Divorce is expensive. There’s just no getting around that. However, some attorneys charge more than others. When you’re meeting with potential attorneys, ask them how their fee schedule works. They won’t be able to give you a definite answer on how much your divorce will be. There is any number of factors that can affect that. But they should be able to give you some general idea of costs.

Look for Experience

Finally, when engaging a divorce attorney, look for experience. You want to pick somebody that is professional and knows what they’re doing. And more specifically, you want an attorney that has handled cases similar to yours. Especially if you expect your divorce to be complicated with lots of properties, assets, or custody disputes. Engaging a divorce attorney is the best first step you can take to protect yourself as soon as you and your spouse decide to split up. It might seem hasty, but there’s a lot of prep work involved in a divorce. Your attorney can help you get that ball rolling and can protect you financially from your ex doing anything tricky with bank accounts. Meet with several attorneys to decide which you feel like will be a good fit for you. Consider your budget and ask them for a general idea of what to expect cost-wise. And finally, pick an attorney that has a lot of experience in the field, and with cases similar to yours. You should pick somebody that is professional and whom you feel will represent you to the best of their ability. Hiring the right attorney can make a big impact on your divorce settlement.

Battling Divorce Stigma

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Even though divorce is very common, you might still be battling divorce stigma from those around you. Family members, friends, or even strangers might feel like it is their place to discuss your divorce and their thoughts. However, the choices that you make are none of their business. Try to change the conversation around divorce by adjusting your framework for talking about it. Surround yourself with supportive people, and don’t neglect to practice self-care. And finally, if you are still having a difficult time, consider speaking with a therapist or close friend. Hopefully, you can change the narrative and embrace your divorce as an empowering move and one that will improve your future.

Battling Divorce Stigma: Changing the Way We Talk About Divorce

Change the Conversation

The first step in battling divorce stigma is to change the way you see divorce. Instead of looking at it as the end of your marriage, look at it as a window into your future. Going through the process can be draining but don’t let the stigma surrounding divorce make you doubt yourself. You made the right decision and when the dust settles you’ll be able to see this as a new beginning rather than a chapter ending.

Surround Yourself with Support

Another thing that can help with battling divorce stigma is to surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Don’t let those around you drudge up negative thoughts about the divorce. Instead, try to find people that will help you look forward to the future rather than focusing on the past.

Prioritize Self-Care

Don’t forget about self-care when battling divorce stigma. It can be taxing on you emotionally to feel like others are judging you. Make sure that you take time to focus on your mental well-being periodically by doing things that make you feel confident and bring you joy. For example, get plenty of rest, exercise regularly, and get outside in the sun. You can also try things like meditation, deep breathing, and mindfulness for stress relief.

Talk it Out

Finally, battling divorce stigma is easier when you have somebody to talk to about it. Reach out to a therapist or close friend to help you. Sometimes it’s helpful to have a sympathetic ear. And other times, they might be able to give you great advice for handling stressful situations or people in your life. Battling divorce stigma is, unfortunately, still something you might have to deal with. Even though divorce is quite common, you might still get some push-back from old-school family members or friends. Ignore the naysayers and focus on your future instead. Don’t let them make you doubt yourself or your decision. You and your ex made the best decision for both of your futures. Even though divorce is tiring, try to see it as empowering as well. You got through it and you’re on the other side of things. Now you can make whatever kind of future you want for yourself. Try to focus on the positive and surround yourself with others who do the same. Don’t forget about your self-care, and make time for speaking with a therapist or close friend. Hopefully, you can begin to see your divorce as an open door to a more positive future.

Controlling Spouse: Signs of Abuse

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

One thing which is important to remember is that an abusive relationship doesn’t just have to be physical. Emotional abuse is very serious, and commonly comes in the form of a controlling spouse. Knowing some indicators of this attempted control can help you better see if they’re reflected in your own marriage…

Controlling Spouse: Potential Signs

Social isolation

One thing a controlling spouse might do is isolate you socially. People who try and control others are keen to try and limit their time spent with others. This is because they might be jealous, or worry others will threaten their control over you. Due to this, they’ll try and cut them out of your life.

This isolation can apply to both your friends and family. It might start off slowly, like with them getting annoyed when you go out with friends or see family. Eventually, it could escalate into them telling you that you can’t go out at all. When this starts happening, it’s a clear sign they’re trying to control you.

Manipulating emotions

A controlling spouse also tends to be emotionally manipulative. They may do this in a few different ways. One way is by constantly criticizing you in an effort to lower your self-esteem, while making acceptance conditional. For example, they may only give you praise when you do something specifically for them.

Guilt-tripping is also another way they might manipulate you. They’ll do this by making you feel guilty for things you do, even if they aren’t wrong or are outside of your control. If you feel emotionally beholden to them, then they can really begin to control you.

Privacy invasion

Privacy invasion is also something a controlling spouse will do. They want to keep tabs on what you’re doing at all times, leaving you with no sense of privacy. They could try and track your social media activity, or constantly call and text asking where you are. Sometimes, they may even go through your phone or computer when you aren’t looking.

Not only does this show their controlling nature, but it also shows they don’t trust you. Mutual trust is important for any relationship. A lack of trust, combined with this sort of control, indicates potential future problems.

Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are very similar in many ways. Both are legal contracts that protect a couple financially in the event of a divorce. However, prenuptial agreements are for couples that are about to wed, while postnuptial agreements are for couples that have already. Both of the agreements can outline what happens to assets and properties after a couple gets a divorce. However, no matter which type of agreement you’re deciding on, speaking to an experienced attorney is the first step to take. They can help ensure that the agreement is legal and binding and make sure that you protect yourself in the case of a divorce.

Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements: Who Needs What

Prenups

Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are similar in their substance, however, you use them at different times. A prenuptial agreement happens before marriage. Many couples use them if one spouse is coming into the marriage with considerably more assets than the other. They can protect you if your partner brings a lot of debt to the marriage. They can even protect children from previous marriages. If a couple cannot agree on a prenuptial agreement, they might decide not to proceed with the marriage.

Postnuptial Agreement

In contrast, a postnuptial agreement is used after a couple gets married, so it’s too late to call off the wedding at that point. However, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements still cover similar things. For example, they can outline what happens to assets in the case of divorce. They can cover things like spousal support and what happens to debt.

When to Use Each

While prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are similar, it’s important to know when to use each. Couples that did not get prenuptial might later get postnuptial if they are married. A postnuptial might be helpful if one partner has a sudden windfall. For example, if they inherit a large sum of money. In addition, it can protect a spouse if their husband or wife has reckless spending habits and is accumulating large debts.

Creating an Agreement

Both prenuptial and postnuptial agreements need to be written by an experienced attorney. They can help ensure that the agreement is legal and enforceable. Contact an attorney to help you figure out exactly what to include in your agreement so that you are protecting yourself as much as possible.

Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements are both legal documents that can outline what happens to a couple’s assets in the event of a divorce. And both of them are a great way to protect yourself financially in the event of your marriage ending. However, they differ because a prenuptial agreement is for couples that are about to marry, and a postnuptial is for those that are already in a marriage. You can use either one to protect your assets and any children from a previous marriage, and guard yourself against your partner’s debt. If you are wanting to create either a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, you’ll want to contact an experienced attorney. They can ensure that you include everything you need to protect yourself as much as possible.

Spicing Up the Romance in Your Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If your relationship is starting to feel mundane, it might be time for spicing up the romance in your marriage. If you’ve been married for many years, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of living life-like roommates. However, it’s important to always make an effort to keep the romance alive in your relationship. Be spontaneous and try something new. If you are both under a lot of stress, try giving yourselves a break. Increase the physical touch throughout the day, even just small gestures. And finally, show appreciation and gratitude to your partner. Throwing out some compliments here and there doesn’t hurt either! Hopefully, by connecting a little bit more each day, you and your spouse can build the romance back up in your relationship.

Spicing Up the Romance in Your Marriage: Bringing the Heat Back

Be Spontaneous

Being spontaneous can be very helpful in upping romance in your marriage. Many couples find themselves in a “rut” after years together. It’s easy to fall into the same routine, same schedule, same restaurants, and same motions every day. If you break up the monotony and try something new, it can be exciting and get the creative juices flowing. So try a new restaurant, surprise your spouse at work, or take a class together.

Get a Break

Another thing that can be helpful with spicing up the romance in your marriage is to give yourselves a break. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed with the stress of our face-paced lives. And for couples with younger children, it can feel like you never get a moment for yourselves. Hire a babysitter, ask a friend to watch the kids, or put in for a day off at work. Take a little time where you and your spouse can be stress-free and focus on relaxing together.

Physical Touch

Physical touch can go a long way in spicing up the romance in your relationship as well. And this doesn’t mean in the bedroom, although it can certainly help you get there. Instead, touch your partner throughout the day with small gestures of love. For example, a hand on their shoulder as you walk by, or a quick hug can make you feel more re-connected.

Show Appreciation

Finally, one last way of spicing up the romance in your marriage is to show gratitude and appreciation. It’s easy to forget all of the amazing qualities that your partner has. Make a point to compliment them. In addition, thank them out loud if you notice that they do something for you, even if it’s something that seems small. It can also boost your self-esteem and make you feel sexier if you and your partner complement one another frequently.

Spicing up the romance in your marriage can be a great way to reconnect with your spouse and boost your self-confidence. It’s easy to get into a rut, so trying some new things can go a long way in helping you feel more intimate. Try something spontaneous, like surprising them or taking a cooking class together. It’s also helpful to try to get away for a mini vacation together, even if it’s just for a day. Turn off your cell phones and focus on one another. Increase the physical touch throughout your day with small gestures. And finally, complement one another and show appreciation for all the things your partner does. Hopefully, you can fan the flames of your relationship and remind one another why you fell in love in the first place.

Confronting Abuse: Do’s and Don’ts

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Confronting abuse can be a way to exit a relationship, but you need to make sure that you do it safely. An abuser can escalate quickly and turn a confrontational situation into a dangerous one. Don’t engage with them when they are displaying abusive behavior. In addition, don’t try to reason with them about the abuse because likely it will not work and can also escalate the problem. It is a good idea to make an exit plan that gets you away from the relationship safely. And finally, try to find things that build up your self-esteem so that you can begin the healing process. Whether the abuse is emotional, physical, sexual, or financial, it’s inexcusable in a relationship.

Confronting Abuse: Do’s and Don’t to Keep Yourself Safe

Don’t: Engage

When confronting abuse, it’s important not to engage when the abuser is displaying overtly abusive behavior. This will only make the situation worse. For example, if an emotional abuser begins insulting you or questioning your actions, don’t begin arguing back. Instead, set boundaries. Let them know you won’t tolerate their behavior. Tell them if they continue their actions, you’ll leave the room. Then follow through with your boundaries.

Don’t: Try to Reason

Abuse is always about power, so it doesn’t necessarily have a logical reason behind it. Therefore, when confronting abuse, don’t try to reason with your abuser. They will not change their minds, and likely, the abuse will never stop. Instead, try to find a support network. Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist and let them help you figure out a safe exit from the relationship.

Do: Make an Exit Plan

Confronting abuse is not likely going to make it stop. Abusers rarely stop abusing their victims. Instead, things tend to escalate. Therefore, the only way to protect yourself is to leave the relationship. Get a friend or loved one to help you make a plan. Begin saving money and figuring out a safe place to go. Your community will likely have local resources for victims of abuse that can help you find a way out of your situation.

Do: Build Up Self-Esteem

Finally, after confronting abuse, try to find ways to build up your self-esteem. Whether the abuse is physical or emotional, it can leave lasting scars. Abusers thrive on taking away the confidence of their victims. After you exit the relationship, try to find activities that bring you joy and boost your self-confidence. Set reachable goals for yourself and find supportive friends who will cheer you on when you reach those goals.

Confronting abuse can be a dangerous thing to do, so sometimes, simply exiting a relationship is the safer move. Do not engage with an abuser because it can escalate a situation. Instead, set boundaries for yourself and stick to them. Don’t try to reason with an abuser either, but instead, find a support network that will legitimize your feelings. Try to make an exit plan with your support network so that you can leave the relationship safely. And finally, try to build back your self-confidence by finding hobbies or activities that bring you joy. Abuse can be incredibly damaging for victims, so getting away from a relationship as quickly and safely as possible is the only way to protect yourself.

Terminating Parental Rights

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
In North Carolina, there are only a few scenarios where terminating parental rights is possible. This means that a parent gives up their legal rights to make decisions for their child. There are specific rules about when they can terminate and who can file the petition to the court. However, the best way to navigate this situation is with the help of an experienced attorney. Ultimately, the court will decide what is in the best interest of the child. If you are wanting to terminate your rights, or petition the court to terminate somebody else’s parental rights, it’s a big decision that requires a lot of thought and consideration.

Terminating Parental Rights: Why and How

Termination of Parental Rights

Terminating parental rights means that a parent gives up their legal rights to their child. This means that they give up the right to make decisions about them as well as the right to seek custody or visitation. It also ends any child support responsibilities. It’s a big decision that can affect a child’s life for many years.

Grounds for Termination

There are only certain times when terminating parental rights is possible. For example, if a parent abuses or neglects a child. In addition, if a parent is incapable of taking care of a child or willfully abandons them. And finally, if a noncustodial parent fails to pay child support without reason for over a year. There are a few other specific criteria that can be met, but in general, this only applies when children are not being taken care of properly.

Who Can Terminate

Not everybody can bring a petition terminating parental rights. One parent can file a motion against the child’s other parent. In addition, adoptive parents, legal guardians, or social services can also file petitions. A person that the child lives with for two or more years can also file a petition to terminate another parent’s legal rights. And finally, it is possible to file a petition to terminate your parental rights.

The Decision

Ultimately the decision about terminating parental rights falls to the courts. The judge will only grant the termination if it is in the best interests of the child. They will likely consider many factors including the child’s age, and their relationship to both parents. Before filing such a petition, it’s best to consult with an attorney so that you know the full legal implications and significance.

Terminating parental rights is a big deal and no parent should take it lightly. Giving up your rights to your child prevents you from being able to have a hand in making legal decisions for them regarding school, medical care, and other factors. In addition, it gives up your right to custody and visitation. There are only a few circumstances where parental rights might be terminated and only a few parties can bring the petition to terminate. Ultimately, the court will decide if it’s in the best interests of the child. Consulting with an experienced attorney is the best way to ensure that you are making the best decision about such an important matter.

Who Gets the Marital Home in a Divorce?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
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 The question of who gets the marital home in a divorce depends a lot on where you live and your unique situation. This can often be one of the most complicated aspects of a divorce proceeding because it’s often a couple’s biggest asset. In addition, there are always a lot of emotional connections to a family home. When couples are trying to decide what to do about the marital home, there are typically three common options. One spouse might stay in the house while the other moves out. Or both spouses might sell the home and each takes their equal portion. And unfortunately, couples often cannot agree and wind up needing to go into litigation over this and other issues. If this is something you are wondering about, the best thing to do is to hire an experienced divorce attorney who can represent your interest
The question of who gets the marital home in a divorce depends a lot on where you live and your unique situation. This can often be one of the most complicated aspects of a divorce proceeding because it’s often a couple’s biggest asset. In addition, there are always a lot of emotional connections to a family home. When couples are trying to decide what to do about the marital home, there are typically three common options. One spouse might stay in the house while the other moves out. Or both spouses might sell the home and each takes their equal portion. And unfortunately, couples often cannot agree and wind up needing to go into litigation over this and other issues. If this is something you are wondering about, the best thing to do is to hire an experienced divorce attorney who can represent your interests.

Who Gets the Marital Home in a Divorce? Post-divorce Living Arrangements

Questions of Legality

Who gets the marital home in a divorce often depends a lot on what state you live in. In North Carolina, if you are legally married, you and your spouse own your property as tenants by the entirety. This means that you each have an equal share in the house. In other states, things are handled differently. An attorney can help you understand the rules and rights in your state.

One Spouse Stays

Often, the way things are handled in the marital home in a divorce is for one spouse to stay and the other to move out. Often this decision depends on each spouse’s financial situation, job, and custody situation. If one spouse is the main caregiver for the children, it’s often easier for them to stay in the home and let the other spouse move out. However, some couples choose to share the home even after divorce.

Both Spouses Sell

Another common situation that happens with the marital home in a divorce is that both spouses agree to sell the home. Each would get an equal share of the proceeds from the sale. This is often the case for couples in which neither person wants to stay in the home. This might be for emotional or financial reasons.

Spouses Cannot Agree

Finally, and most commonly, spouses cannot agree on how to handle the marital home in a divorce. If this is the case, they often need to go to litigation over the issue. A judge will decide what is the most fair and equitable way to handle the situation. If you are facing this option, the best way to protect yourself is to hire an experienced attorney.

Handling the marital home in a divorce is often a complicated and tricky topic. It can also be one of the more emotional aspects of ending a marriage. Your family home contains so many memories and is often a couple’s biggest asset. A lot depends on where you live, but in North Carolina, couples own their properties equally. If couples can agree outside of court, they often choose for one spouse to move out while the other stays in the home. They might also jointly agree to sell the home and split the proceeds. But more often than not, couples end up in litigation. The best way to handle this situation is to hire an attorney to help you get the settlement and divorce situation that you deserve.

Nesting Co-Parenting: Possible Benefits

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Most parents think that co-parenting involves moving the kids from one parent’s house to another. However, nesting co-parenting offers a different perspective. This alternative way of co-parenting might just be the sort of thing you and your co-parent are looking for…

Nesting Co-Parenting: How Its Different

What is “nesting?”

Nesting co-parenting differs from other co-parenting plans mainly in terms of where the kids stay. Usually, after a divorce, either one parent will keep the home and the other will move, or both will move to new homes. Then, the kids will go in-between each household depending on the co-parenting schedule they come up with.

With a nesting arrangement, the kids will actually stay at the family home. Instead, it’ll be you and your co-parent who will come and go. So, for example, one week you’ll stay at the home with the kids, and then switch with your co-parent. That way, the kids don’t have to constantly go back-and-forth between two new homes.

Benefits to the kids

A nesting co-parenting arrangement can be really beneficial to your kids. Divorce is a major time of change both for you and them. Having to constantly go back and forth between you and your co-parent’s new homes can be very difficult for them. Ultimately, it can be hard for them to really feel “at ease”, even if they’re with one of their parents.

However, by nesting, your kids won’t have to worry about that. Rather, they get to stay in the home that they’re already familiar with. This helps them feel much more at ease with the situation, and not have to worry about constantly moving and bringing things between homes.

Benefits for the parents

Of course, a nesting co-parenting plan doesn’t just help the kids. It can also help you and your co-parent also. For instance, many couples find it’s cheaper to use a nesting plan. The cost of two separate apartments can be cheaper than if you were to both look for new homes. Plus, some co-parents will even “split” an apartment, with one of them staying there while the other is with the kids.

You also won’t have to worry about difficult transitions in-between homes. Rather, you’ll know exactly where your kids will be. You can even have smoother transitions than usual, such as if you drop the kids off at school in the morning and their other parent picks them up. Just make sure you communicate this to both your co-parent and the kids!