How Do Children React to Divorce?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Children react to divorce in many different ways. A lot depends on the family, the situation, and of course, the child. However, some behaviors are very common among children of newly divorced parents. Be on the watch for these behaviors and be prepared to give your child as much support as they need during this tough time. One thing you might see is regression – this could be with sleep, using the bathroom, or other behaviors. Another typical reaction is aggression or new anger issues. Some children feel very sad and begin to internalize the stress as shame. And finally, some children go through intense separation anxiety. Guide your children through all of these emotions by being supportive and allowing them to share their feelings.

How Do Children React to Divorce? Behaviors You Might See

Regressions

One way that many children react to divorce is through various regressions. Regressions happen when a child’s behavior seems to be getting less mature, rather than more mature. For instance, some children might be sleeping well and suddenly start waking up at night. Or some potty-trained children begin to have accidents again. There are many ways that regressions can present themselves. Usually, they will get through the regression on their own with a little guidance.

Aggression

Another way that children react to divorce is aggression. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll start hitting their friends. It could just mean that they are easier to upset or fluster. Or their frustration seems more intense than usual. Guide them to healthy outlets for their strong emotions, like a new hobby or exercise.

Depression

Depression is another way that children react to divorce. It can be very different from child to child. Some children might just become more whiny than usual. Others might be upset easily or spend lots of time crying. And many children begin to feel shame about the divorce and think that they are at fault. You should constantly reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that you love them very much.

Separation Anxiety

Finally, one last way that children react to divorce is through separation anxiety. Their entire world has likely been turned upside down. They may be a little clingier than usual. They are trying to make sure that they hold onto the one constant in their lives – you. Usually, separation anxiety eases with time and with reassurance that you will always come back when you leave. Children react to divorce in a myriad of different ways. Some children get very quiet while others have hundreds of questions. However, many children present with regressions like potty training. Or with aggression and a little more moodiness than usual. Yet others go through depressive stages, and some get more separation anxiety than usual. However your child is handling the divorce, you should reassure them constantly. Many times these changes ease fairly quickly as they get used to a new routine. However, if your child seems to be struggling, reach out to their pediatrician or a child therapist for some guidance. Hopefully, you can help ease your children through this difficult transition and help them handle their emotions.

How to Choose the Right Divorce Attorney

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Choosing the right divorce attorney is an important aspect of the divorce process. Having the best representation on your side can affect the kind of settlement you get. You want to make sure that the attorney you choose is professional and experienced. Ask for references from anybody you interview to make sure that they have some relevant experience. In addition, consider your budget for the divorce and go over costs with them upfront. Don’t just pick the first person you meet, interview a few different lawyers. And finally, remember your needs and what you need from them. You aren’t hiring a new best friend, but a legal representative. Hopefully, you can find a great lawyer who will represent you and get you the settlement you want.

How to Choose the Right Divorce Attorney: Finding the Best Match

Ask for References

Choosing the right divorce attorney starts with making sure that they have plenty of experience. But specifically, you want an attorney that has handled similar cases to yours. You might not necessarily want to go with the lawyer a friend of yours recommends because your cases could be very different. Make sure that they have relevant experience and can help you get what you need out of the divorce.

Consider Budget

It’s also important to consider your budget when picking your divorce attorney. Divorce is incredibly expensive, so you’ll need to budget ahead of time. Anybody you interview should be able to give you an overview of their costs. They might not be able to give you exact details, but they should at least cover up-front costs and a general sense of what you might spend.

Interview Several

It’s also important to interview several lawyers when picking a divorce attorney. Don’t just go with the first person you meet. Instead, interview three or four different attorneys and figure out which will serve your needs best. Make sure that they are professional in their mannerisms, and that they have relevant experience.

Remember Your Needs

Finally, remember what your needs are when choosing a divorce attorney. You are not looking for somebody to commiserate with over your ex. Or somebody to comfort you when you are upset. They don’t need to be your friend or your therapist. They are your legal representative. Find an attorney that will fight hard for your settlement. You will certainly need some emotional support during the divorce process, but your attorney is not the person to go to for that. Choosing the right divorce attorney is a big step in the divorce process. Finally settling on that decision can take a huge weight off your back. Make sure that you interview several different attorneys and ask them about relevant experience. Consider your overall budget when choosing, and ask about up-front and long-term costs during the interview stage. Finally, remember what you need your attorney to do. They don’t need to be a confidant or a friend, they need to be your legal representative. The right attorney can help make the divorce process much less stressful. Take the time to carefully consider your options and make sure that you are picking an attorney that will fight hard for you.

How to Overcome Cheating in a Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Trying to overcome cheating in a marriage is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face. If you or your partner has been unfaithful, it may take some time to figure out how you’d like to move forward. If you choose to continue your marriage, you’ll need to take time to think things over. Make sure that you give yourself time and space to experience all your feelings. Don’t try to get revenge on your partner as this will only make things more complicated. And finally, seek outside help from a friend or professional counselor. Hopefully, if you choose to move forward with your marriage, you’ll have the tools to make it successful.

How to Overcome Cheating in a Marriage: Moving Forward

Take Some Time to Think

The first step in learning to overcome cheating in a marriage is to take some time to yourself. Give yourself some space to think about your relationship. If you were the cheating spouse, try to identify the reasons that led up to the cheating. Figure out if you’re remorseful about what happened and if you want to move forward. If you’ve been cheated on, really consider if you’d like to move forward with working on your marriage. You need to decide if this will even be possible.

Feel Your Feelings

You also want to give yourself some time to feel all your feelings if you’re trying to overcome cheating in a marriage. For example, you might feel sad, angry, confused, hurt, or any number of emotions. If you’re the one who cheated you may be in shock that it happened, and confused about why you let it happen. Give yourself time to experience all of those emotions before making any major decisions about your relationship.

Don’t Retaliate

Do not take revenge immediately after an affair if you’re wanting to overcome cheating in a marriage. Your first instinct may be to retaliate and hurt your spouse the way you’ve been hurt. For example, you may want to trash talk or tell everybody about what happened. However, you need to remember that your friends and family will have strong feelings about what happened and will most likely try to give you the advice to sway you one way or another. You also won’t ever be able to take back the things you say later. In addition, you may even consider getting back at your spouse by having an affair yourself. However, this complicates matters and probably won’t make you feel less hurt. You’ll just be spreading more hurt and division into your marriage.

Seek Outside Help

The biggest help to overcome cheating in a marriage is to seek outside assistance. A trained therapist can offer couples counseling which can help you and your spouse identify ways to make your marriage stronger. In addition, they can give you ways to communicate more openly. There are plenty of in-person therapists and online therapists available right now that can give you assistance. You can confide in your close friends as well, but be careful who you tell. Close friends and family are often very protective of you and might find it hard to forgive your partner later if you decide to move forward with your marriage.

Trying to overcome cheating in a marriage takes time and dedication. You and your partner both need to be equally focused on moving forward in honesty and open communication. Take time to really think about how you’d like your relationship to move forward. Next, take some time to really experience the emotional roller coaster you’re on. You might be feelings guilt, shame, sadness, anger, and many other things but that is ok. Give yourself time to feel them all. Don’t try to get revenge or you will just make more problems for your marriage. And finally, seek outside help if you’re wanting to move forward in a healthy way. While it can be one of the most difficult times of your life, many couples are stronger in the end by overcoming infidelity.

Losing Love: Marital Woes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

One of the hardest things that can happen in a relationship is falling out of love. However, losing love is a very real thing, and occurs for many different reasons. Understanding some of the most common ones can help you see why some couples have this happen…

Losing Love: Why It Happens

Lack of communication

Losing love in a marriage can be due to poor communication. Good communication is important for maintaining the bond between you and your partner. If your communication is lacking, then that bond is going to get weaker. Eventually, it’ll get to the point where the love itself becomes lost.

Communication can fall apart for a wide variety of reasons. You may have both had issues talking to one another about things and had constant arguments. Or, it could have been that you didn’t spend enough time talking to one another. Not having that good, balanced communication can turn those positive feelings for one another into negative ones.

Things started off poorly

Losing love can also occur when a marriage starts off poorly and never recovers. A strong foundation in a marriage is crucial for being able to handle tougher times. Lacking that good base will make it much easier for a couple to drift apart and not be able to come back together when things hit a rough patch.

For instance, it could be that a you or your partner had unrealistic expectations for each other. When you or they don’t met these expectations, it can set a negative tone going forwards. It could also be that you rushed into your marriage without giving your relationship time to mature and be certain that marriage was the right call.

Too clingy

Losing love is usually caused by something that makes couples become distant. Yet, being too close can also be another reason. If you’re too clingy of a partner, then it can end up frustrating your spouse. Eventually, things will get to the point where they want distance more than anything else!

It’s good for couples to spend time with one another. Still, it’s also key to have some individual time, or time spent with family and friends. You can’t be too clingy, or expect your partner to only ever want to spend time with you.

Self-care After Divorce: Exercise is Key

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Life during and after a divorce can be stressful and draining. Because of this, it is very important to make sure you’re remembering to take care of yourself too. Making self-care after divorce a priority will help you to feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically. Especially when exercise is involved…

Self-care After Divorce: Benefits of Exercise

Exercise Makes You Feel Happier

First off, exercise can make your body release endorphins, which can make you feel happy. Divorce can be very tough, and endorphins can help lift your mood and make you feel better. You don’t have to run a marathon in order to get these endorphins flowing. Even just thirty minutes of moderate-intensity exercise can release mood-lifting endorphins.

Exercise Relieves Stress

In the same way, exercise can help relieve stress. Tension and stress can build-up during and after the divorce process. Yoga is a great form of exercise to alleviate stress. It is low-impact, and focuses on breathing, stretching, and mindfulness. Even while gyms are closed due to Covid-19, there are many yoga classes that can be taken on apps like Down Dog or even YouTube. However, yoga isn’t the only exercise to reduce stress; almost any form of exercise can.

Equally important, exercise can help you to sleep better. This is because you may fall asleep faster and sleep deeper. A good night’s rest is a great way to reduce stress levels.

Exercise Helps Improve Health

Weight fluctuations are common during and after a divorce. Whether it’s gaining or losing too much weight, quick changes like this can be unhealthy. When people exercise, they tend to eat healthier and make smarter choices about alcohol and junk food. This can lead to a healthier weight and improving your overall health. When your body is healthier, it will be ready to face any challenges or obstacles that come your way.

Exercise Improves Self-Esteem

Getting out and moving will not only help you feel better, but it will help you look better too. Exercise helps to build and tone muscles, as well as trim fat. In some situations, divorce can hurt someone’s self-esteem. If you feel like you look better, it will help you feel more confident and happier.


While divorce can negatively impact your overall health, stress levels and happiness, exercise is a great way to regain control over these parts of your life. While it’s easy to get caught up in so many other things right after a divorce, don’t forget to take care of yourself.

Divorce Logistics: What To Consider

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

There’s a lot more to a divorce than you may initially think. In particular, you’ll need to consider some divorce logistics that you have to sort out. These factors will be important for making sure you can give your divorce the attention it needs…

Divorce Logistics: Important Elements

Place to stay

One important part of divorce logistics is where you will be staying. Some couples will decide to keep living in the same home while handling the divorce. Usually, this is because they can keep the peace and stay out of each other’s way. This makes it a lot easier for both parties to focus on the divorce.

However, you may not be able to do this. Instead, it may be the case that you need to find some other place to live. While an apartment may be the most apparent solution, you can also reach out to family too. Staying with family can help you save a bit of extra money, which is quite helpful.

Time off work

Your job is also going to be a divorce logistics factor. There’s going to be a lot of times when you’ll need to take care of something which falls on a workday. As such, you’ll need to ensure you can make the time for them by being able to take time off of work.

Most people will make use of things like vacation or sick days to do this. Still, it’s good to try and talk to your boss or supervisor about what’s going on. Many times, they’ll understand what you’re going through and the time you need to take care of it. So long as you can get your work done, they’ll probably be willing to help you out when you need to take some time off.

Watching the kids

Having kids can really change how you approach your divorce. They also are another thing that you need to factor some divorce logistics around. With both work and the divorce, you and your ex probably won’t be able to always watch the kids when needed.

Therefore, you want to make sure someone will be able to watch the kids when needed. Friends and family are great for this. If they can, they’ll usually try and help you out by watching your kids. Of course, well-reviewed babysitters are also good should your friends and family not be available.

How-to Regain Your Confidence After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can really do a number on your confidence and self-esteem. You may feel like you have completely lost your identity. The divorce may have shattered your confidence. This can really affect your mental health. It may take time to get that back. By taking proactive steps, you can regain your confidence after your divorce.

How-to Regain Your Confidence After Divorce: Post-Divorce Healing

Support System

One way to help regain your confidence after divorce is by having a strong support system. Remember that there are people who know and love you. Surround yourself with people who can be beneficial if your overall health and well-being. Being social will not only help you reestablish your life, but also your self-esteem and confidence. This will allow you to show others around you that you are not permanently broken and that this life experience will not define you.

Consider reaching out to people who knew you before before you met your former spouse. You can reconnect with people who are far away distance-wise by using platforms like Skype, Zoom or Facetime. Even during COVID, you can get creative and reconnect with an old workout buddy by using a workout app. The most important thing to remember is that your self-worth is not dependent on your former partner. In the same way, you were a good friend before your partner and you will be a good friend after them too. Your friends will be able to help remind you of all of the great things about yourself that you may not be able to see right now.

Reestablish Your Identity

You will also begin to retain your confidence after divorce by reestablishing your identity. This may mean getting involved in activities you previously enjoyed, or completely reinventing yourself. Start by decorating your space to feel like you. You can do this whether you are still living in the same place as you did when you were married, or if you moved to a new place. Either way, think of this as a fresh start and make your home express your own personality. Think about different hobbies you have been wanting to try, and go try them. You may find something you really enjoy to fill up your time.

In the same way, also participate in things you have previously enjoyed as well. Make a list of all of the things you loved doing and what made you happy. Do you love playing tennis? Getting back on the courts may be just want you need for a confidence boost. This will also give you a boost of serotonin to make you feel happy and feel better. Sometimes, the most important part of reestablishing your identity is just remembering who you are deep down inside.

Divorce can certainly be hard on your self-esteem. However, it is possible to regain your confidence after your divorce. Start by finding a good support system to lean on, and find identity again. Before long, you will be feeling confident once more.

How-to Know if You’re Ready For Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You are at the point that you are questioning your marriage. Perhaps there has been infidelity, lack of trust, abuse or loss of love. Even though all of the signs point to yes, you are still likely questioning whether or not you should get a divorce. Before making the final decision about divorce, there are things you should think about to know if you’re ready for divorce.

How-to Know if You’re Ready For Divorce: Questions to Consider

Do You Have Feelings for Your Partner?

It is very common for people who want to get a divorce still have feelings for their spouse. However, there has been something that has happened that has caused a lack of closeness and intimacy. If you fall into this category, it may be best to try and work things out with your partner. This could prevent you from pulling the trigger if you really are not ready for divorce. Otherwise, you may end up in a situation where you are are feeling a deep loss, and feel worse off than where you were before.

Are You Just Threatening Divorce?

Some people throw out empty threats of divorce when they are mad, or may think or say things they do not mean during an argument. Other times, people can use the threat of divorce to hold power over the other spouse. This is not a healthy way to to act in a relationship. Holding empty threats over someone makes you loose your credibility for the future, plus it is destructive to the relationship.

If you are truly ready for divorce, you need to be able to be at the point that you feel that way over a sustained period of time. You need to be able to truly say that you are ready to close that chapter of your life. You will need to know there is nothing more you can do or give to this relationship. Also, you will need to be able to discuss this with your spouse without blame.

Are You Ready to Handle the Consequences?

There will certainly be negative consequences from divorce. Many people have dreams of a happy family, but sometimes this is not the case. However, divorce brings pain, perhaps even to your children. Keep in mind that it is not worth staying in an unsafe or unhealthy marriage just to prevent other people feeling pain. Just know that if you are ready for divorce, you have to be ready for the consequences that follow.

For example, if you are only wanting a divorce because you are just bored with your spouse, think these following points through. Are you okay with your lifestyle or finances changing? Can you accept your children’s anger and sadness? Can you accept times of insecurity, fear, or the unknown? Are you willing to mentally and emotionally let go of your spouse? While you will waver with your emotions, you need to know that overall, you will be able to answer “yes” to these things to know you are ready for divorce.

How-to Successfully Move Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Following your divorce, it may be tempting to move somewhere new to get a “fresh start.” However, it may not be all that easy to move post-divorce. As such, it’s good to know what steps you can take to improve your chances of success…

How-to Successfully Move Post-Divorce: Helpful Steps

Consider why you want to move

Before you get your move officially underway, it’s important to consider why exactly you want to move post-divorce. There’s a lot of reasons as to why someone may say they want to move. Some want to start over somewhere new away from where their divorce took place. Others believe that there will be better opportunities for them to start doing what they really love instead.

Still, ask yourself if you really need to move in order to do this. Remember, you can make a lot of those positive changes even if you don’t move. You may also need to make extra considerations about your kids if you’re a co-parent.  You’ll only want to move when you’re certain that it’ll be best for you.

Budget ahead of time

Should you decide to move post-divorce, then you’ll want to start working on a budget. Moving isn’t always cheap, especially if you’re going out-of-state. This can make things a bit complicated when coming off of a divorce. Therefore, it’s good to ensure your finances can handle a move.

Consider not just the expected costs, like down payments or rent, but also any additional living costs as well. This can include extra fees, or things like new furniture, utilities, etc. You’ll also want to factor in moving costs, like moving truck rentals, movers, and gas for longer trips.

Talk to the kids

If you’re a single parent, then one of the hardest things can be getting your kids ready for a move post-divorce. The divorce itself already may have caused a lot of change for them. Now, they may have to leave behind things like the school and friends that they were familiar with.

One way to help your kids deal with this, especially if they’re older, is by getting them involved. Ask them for their thoughts of where they’d like to move, or what they’d want out of a school or community. You should also encourage them to keep in touch with their old friends. This will help them feel like an active part of the move, instead of just an unwilling participant.

How-to Begin Healing from Adultery

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You feel betrayed, hurt, and confused. You found out that your spouse has been cheating on you behind your back. In the moment, it may feel like this pain and suffering will never end. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will be able to pick up the pieces and move forward. Whether or not you choose to stick it out or part ways with your spouse is up to you. There is no perfect, one-size-fits-all answer. However, it is important to know what steps you can take to begin healing from adultery.

How-to Begin Healing from Adultery: Picking Up the Pieces

Emotions

If you want to start healing from adultery, you will have to work through multiple stages first. You will feel an overwhelming amount of pain and sadness. This could come with swings of emotions where you are angry at your spouse, then yourself, and back to your spouse again. This could all happen within a matter of moments. You will have lost all trust and have shattered dreams for the future.

During this time, do not make any rash decisions. When you are in emotional pain, you will not be able to make wise decisions at this point. Do not jump into wanting to file for divorce, hurting yourself or getting revenge. Wait until your emotions have leveled out, or you may make a decision that you regret, but cannot take back. There is no set time frame as to how long this stage will last. Your spouse will need to be patient with you during this time. The way you work through this stage is unique to you. Lean on others for support or seek a councilor. Make sure to practice self-care, get enough sleep and eat healthy.

Therapy

It will be helpful to get therapy to work through healing from adultery. While you may be tempted to seek help on your own, it may be better to get therapy as a couple if you are considering continuing the marriage. You will have broken trust in your relationship. Seeking help together could help to rebuild this trust. There have already been enough secrets in this marriage. Individual therapy does not work to rebuild that trust. In fact, it may even make things more complicated. If you are wanting to save your marriage, you need to work through things with your spouse and not apart from them. Sometimes it takes one spouse hearing the other spouse saying why he or she is choosing this relationship and marriage versus giving up.

Working on Your Relationship

While the spouse who cheated on the other spouse is completely at fault for the affair, it is good to look at all of the other surrounding factors. Were there things that were broken in the marriage that could be worked on? Perhaps both spouses lost interest in one another. Try and address the things that were broken so that if you do continue the marriage, these things are not a continuous pain point.

It is also important to work on communication. For this to work, you must be able to communicate how you feel. You do not want underlying feelings to pop up 15 years from now about the hurt you have been sweeping under the rug. Being able to communicate openly will also help to rebuild trust.