How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce
Exercise is a great way to feel happier and relieve stress after your divorce. However, it’s also great for its physical health benefits too. Therefore, it’s good to know some helpful strategies to get fit post-divorce. That way, you can really get as much out of your workout as possible…
How-to Get Fit Post-Divorce: Key Techniques
Eat right
Your diet is important if you want to get fit post-divorce. After all, if you don’t eat healthy, then your workout will go to waste. As such, don’t fall into the trap into thinking you can just eat whatever and “sweat it out.” Instead, you should focus on creating a healthy diet which will help support your body during a workout and refuel it afterwards.
For example, eating fruits and vegetables before you work out is better than doing so afterwards, as they’ll be able to help fuel your workout. Afterwards, protein and carbs will be key. Many dietary experts suggest that a 3:1 ratio of carbs-to-protein is best for helping your body recover.
Find a good workout plan
When you want to get fit post-divorce, you should have a good workout plan. Different plans will focus on different parts of the body. Others may specialize in specific goals, like weight loss or muscle gain. Which plan you pick depends on what exercise goals you want to achieve.
Plus, you have a lot of choices to choose from. It’s also easy to mix and max parts of different plans to get a more-complete custom plan. This is good for when you want to add some variety, as your body may build resistance to your normal routine. Mixing things up ensures you get a good workout every time.
Get enough sleep
Sleep is a key element when you want to get fit post-divorce. Sleep is crucial for giving your body time to recover from your workouts and get ready for the next day. In particular, it gives your muscles a chance to heal and get stronger from your exercises. Skimping on sleep can minimize the results you get from your workouts.
In general, it’s good to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. In fact, working out may make it easier for you to fall asleep. The combination of exercising wearing you out while also improving your body tends to lead to better, longer sleep for many people.
How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids
In some divorce arrangements, parents may end up with split custody of their children. Split custody is different than joint custody. This is a child custody arrangement in which one parent has sole custody of one or more children. Then, the other parent has sole custody of the remaining siblings. This arrangement can be difficult for both the parents and the children. If this applies to you, learn how to manage having split custody of your kids.
How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids: Divorce Arrangements
Difficulties
Having split custody of your kids can be difficult. One of the hardest parts about it is that your kids may never actually get to see one another. If one child spends all week at moms, while the other spends all week at dads, and they switch on the weekend, they will never be together. Going to living with only one parent at a time can be a big change for children. Compound that with also no longer living with their siblings too, and that makes it even more of an adjustment.
Benefits
On the other hand, there can be some benefits of having split custody of your kids. For example, this could be beneficial if one child is combative or physically or emotionally abusive to the other. In this case, it may be best to have both of the siblings separated. Another example is if one child has special needs. Depending on how severe the disabilities are, one parent may need to solely focus on taking care of the child with special needs. A parent who works away from home full-time likely would not be able to take care of a special needs child in the same way a stay-at-home parent can.
In some cases, if there are large age gaps between siblings, each may prefer to live with a different parent. Another situation is if one parents lives close to a special school that would be beneficial for one child, that child may choose to live with that parent. For example, if there is a really good school of the arts, and a child really wants to be in that program, they may decide to live at the house closest to that school. This could also apply to certain schools for kids with physical or learning disabilities.
There are definitely pros and cons to having split custody of your kids. However, if you make decisions with your children’s best interest in mind, you can manage this unusual situation.
How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce
After your divorce is finalized, or even during the separation process, you may want to find a new hobby. These can occupy your time and give you something to look forward to. There are so many different types of hobbies out there that there will be no shortage things you could choose. However, the pandemic does make this a little bit more difficult. To make things easier, you need to look for Covid-friendly hobbies.
How-to Find Covid-Friendly Hobbies Post-Divorce: Enjoyable Distractions
Virtual Cooking Classes
If you are looking to find Covid-friendly hobbies, cooking classes help to make cooking fun. There are so many cooking classes you could take. Some culinary schools or community colleges offer cooking classes as a continuing education program. Some of these courses are offered online, which is perfect for this current environment. They offer single classes, or sets of classes, that could last a few days to a few months. You could always sign up with a friend to take these classes with you for extra fun. You will learn a great skill or at least some new recipes, plus get to eat some delicious food at the end of the class.
Skill Pop is another place to take a culinary class. While they typically offer classes in-person, they now offer classes online for a Covid-friendly option. Skill Pop even offers cooking decorating classes, which can prepare you to wow your friends when pandemic ends.
Exercise
Sure, many gyms are closed now due to Covid-19, but that does not mean that you can’t exercise. When you are trying to find Covid-friendly hobbies, exercise is one of the best ones you can do. Exercise boosts your mood and relieves stress, plus is good for your health. You do not have to pick up strenuous exercise for you to see positive benefits. If you aren’t into running, cycling, or hiking, you could still get in exercise by walking or doing yoga.
Read
Reading a good book is can be therapeutic for some people. It is possible to even get lost in a good book. When considering Covid-friendly hobbies, grab a good book. There are even virtual book clubs you can join. Get a group of friends to join in, or sign-up for an established book club. You can safely read on your own, but still get the socialization aspect from your virtual book club!
How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place
After your divorce, you may find yourself needing to move to a new home. Once you make this move, you’ll want to then focus on setting up your post-divorce place. There’s a few things in particular that you can do to really make this new home feel like it’s yours…
How-to Set Up Your New Post-Divorce Place: Exciting Changes
Get new furniture
When you move to your post-divorce place, you’ll probably have some furniture to bring along. However, it may be worn or more your ex’s style than yours. Brining in this older furniture can throw off the new feeling your house should bring you.
That’s why it’s good to get some new furniture. Now, you don’t have to worry about if your spouse likes it or not. Instead, you can get whatever appeals to your style and tastes, which helps to make you feel like you really own this new home.
Consider your lighting
Lighting is also important for your post-divorce place. Having more light in your home can not only help you see things, but it’ll also improve your mood. Plus, having more natural light will mean you don’t need to turn the lights on all the time. This will help save some extra money on your power bill!
Try to see if there’s anything you can change about your windows or curtains that’ll allow in more light. Don’t forget to look at your interior lighting as well. It’s best to pick some soft, warm lights rather than harsher ones. This will allow for you to have plenty of light without it being abrasive.
Explore some art
Décor is a good way to express yourself in your post-divorce place. Much like with your furniture, you can now pick the sort of décor which fits your tastes the best. Art in particular is a good way to show off your tastes while also tying your rooms together.
These days, it’s pretty easy to find prints of your favorite art online. That allows for you to get a lot of great pieces for relatively cheap. You can also set up your rooms with themes based around your art. This can help each different room in your home feel unique.
How-to Know if You Need Couples Therapy
Things have been rough lately, and both of you are feeling frustrated. You may be wondering if you feel therapy or counseling is a sign of weakness, but it actually is a sign of strength. This is a step towards working on making your relationship better. Here are some signs that you may need to go to couples therapy.
How-to Know if You Need Couples Therapy
Lack of Trust
It may be time to go to couples therapy if your trust has been broken. A lack of trust can be detrimental to a relationship. Some examples of how trust could be broken would be catching your spouse in a huge lie, or even finding out they have been having an affair. However, if you and your partner are willing to try and work through this, talking with a therapist where you can openly and safely express yourself may be a good place to start.
Ongoing Conflict
If you and your spouse are always arguing, it could be a good idea to go to couples therapy. Constant conflict is not healthy for any relationship. Additionally, even if you are just noticing that the frequency of your arguments is increasing, it is never too early to stop a problem before it gets worse. Get ahead of the issue and talk to someone.
Something Feels Different
Is there something that just feels off about your marriage? This could be a disconnect physically, emotionally, or mentally. In additon, there could be underlying resentment or distrust that is even pulling you apart. You may not even be able to pinpoint it to determine what it is. Whatever it is, it is worth addressing with a couples therapist.
Lack of Communication
Another reason to go to a couples therapist is if you and your spouse have a lack of communication. For instance, you could live in the same house together, but never have any sort of meaningful conversation with any depth. This could make you drift apart from your partner. A councilor could help give you the tools to communicate better. Above all, this could increase the quality of the conversations you have with your spouse.
In conclusion, couples therapy can be a big benefit to couples that are drifting apart or are going through a rough spot. However, it can also be useful to curb an issue before it even gets big too. It is never too early to get ahead of a problem and work towards a happy and healthy marriage.
How-to Know If You’re Ready to Remarry
If you are considering marrying someone again after divorce, there is a lot to consider. A second, third, or whatever number marriage can be more complicated than the first. There are many other factors and things to consider if you are wanting to get married again. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you are considering if you are ready to remarry.
How-to Know If You’re Ready to Remarry: Things to Consider
Ask Yourself ‘Why’?
If you are wondering if you are ready to remarry, you will want to ask yourself why you are wanting to marry again. When you look deep down, you may see some warning flags. If not, that is a good sign. For example, are you lonely and just wanting some companionship? Do not marry again just because you are the only single one in your social group, or to please your family.
Do not remarry solely for financial gain. Financial need can be a great motivator for some to marry again. For example, single parents who are struggling to support their children may find it desirable to have extra financial help. Regardless of your gender, don’t marry someone because it will relieve financial stress or help further a corporate career.
Have You Given Yourself Enough Time?
After a divorce, you have a lot to process emotionally, mentally and physically. Make sure you have given yourself enough time to work through these things. You need to have things handled on your end before you can be a good spouse to someone else. Make sure you are not harboring any anger or resentment towards your ex, or even still in love with your ex. If you have not dealt with these feeling, you will take those into your new marriage. Make sure that you are actually ready to remarry. Consider looking deep down into why your first marriage failed, and even consider therapy to make sure those old wounds have truly healed.
Some people rush into new relationships as soon as they split from their ex. Then, after only a few months, they want to get very serious with them. Make sure you give yourself time in this new relationship, even if you have known this person for a while before dating them. You will want to make sure you have had time to get to know them well. It is easy for someone to only show you their good side for the first few months.
Ex’s and Children
The second time around, a marriage may involve blending families. You will have to consider how their ex or children feel about you, and how you feel about them. This also applies to you with your ex and children as well. You are not just marrying one person, you’re entering the relationship with the whole bunch. Make sure that you can handle these relationships and that they will be healthy ones in the long run.
Consider all of these things when you are wondering if you are ready to remarry again. If you feel confident about all of your answers, then you are off of a great start.
How-to Define Your Identity After Divorce
During the separation period, or even after the divorce, you may feel like you do not even know who you are anymore. You likely defined yourself as being a husband or a wife, and part of a unit, but now you just feel alone. However, you do not need to feel this way. While it may be a confusing time of trying to find yourself, take these steps to help define your identity after divorce.
How-to Define Your Identity After Divorce: Finding Yourself
Be Yourself
It is important to remember that before you were married and considered to be a part of a couple, you were just simply you. With that in mind, you were still you during your marriage. That does not change after divorce either. The things that made you special, still make you special. You are not defined by your martial status, or who you are (or are not) married to. Try and dig deep and remember the things that make you tick. What activities you like, what brings you joy, what makes you sad.
So many people lose themselves in a relationship. While it is good to work towards having things in common with your spouse, you do not want to become your spouse. However, even if you fell into this trap, you can still find yourself again. Start by journaling your feelings, interests and dislikes. Really explore these thoughts, and start to remember who you are. This is a great first step in defining your identity after divorce.
Change is Okay
In the same way, know that it is okay that if you find you have changed over time. You enjoyed certain things before you ever got married. However, that does not mean that you have love the same things when you are single again. You have grown up, and your tastes and desires may have changed. Plus, you have lived and experienced things. Therefore, do not expect your identity to be the same after divorce as it was before you were married.
If you need help with this, do not be afraid to go to therapy or talk with someone. This entire process can be emotionally challenging and draining, and you are not the first person to feel this way. Over time, you will see that you start to carve out your own routines and your own life, creating your very own identity. Before you know it, you will feel comfortable just being yourself.
How-to Find Work Motivation When Divorcing
Divorce can be a draining process, and as such, it can be hard to find motivation to do other things. In particular, your work motivation can really suffer. Therefore, it’s helpful to know what you can do to keep yourself going when you’re at your job…
How-to Find Work Motivation When Divorcing: Useful Methods
Divorce and work
Divorce tends to have a negative effect on people’s work motivation for a couple reasons. First, it tends to take up a lot of their attention. Even when they aren’t handling divorce matters, it will stay on their mind, along with what’ll happen afterwards. This can make it hard for them to really focus on their work like they usually would.
There’s also the fact that divorce can impact your current schedule. Different developments may require you to either take time off of work or limit the amount of free time you have. When you’re constantly wondering what new thing may pop up and how you’ll need to react to it, your work may take a backseat.
Be upfront
When you’re working about your divorce at work, your work motivation will take a hit. Therefore, it’s good to let your boss or manager know what’s going on. Being upfront and honest about what you’re going through and how it may impact you isn’t a bad thing. Instead, they’ll be more inclined to help you out in order to keep you motivated at work.
For instance, they may recognize you need some more flexibility in your schedule. Or, you may not be able to do projects solo like you could before. When your boss or manager is aware of your divorce, they can help make accommodations which will solve these problems.
Take care of yourself
A large part of maintaining work motivation comes down to what you do outside of work. If you don’t have a good work-life balance, then it becomes a lot harder to want to work at all. Add in your divorce, and now this can become a serious struggle. In fact, many people may end up leaving their jobs because they feel so overwhelmed.
That’s why it’s important you still find some time for yourself when you aren’t working. While your divorce is a priority, you can’t let it totally take over your life. Rather, you need to be able to still relax to manage your anxieties, even if it means taking a few days off to do so.
How-to Tell Others About Your Divorce: Hard Convos
If you are going through a divorce or just got through a divorce, you will have to start to tell others about your divorce. It may feel intimidating or even embarrassing to have this conversation. However, you should not let it feel overwhelming. Take these steps to feel better about having this difficult conversation.
How-to Tell Others About Your Divorce: Steps to Take
Portrayal
When you are starting to tell others about your divorce, you will have to think about how much or how little you want to tell people. You can also decide how you want to portray your divorce. If you are having a nasty, angry divorce, you can decide how much information you want to share about that. You can also channel how you want your divorce is going. For example, you can say to people “I want to have a peaceful, smooth divorce”. It is your story to tell, so you can decide how much you are comfortable with telling people.
Family and Friends
Once you’ve decided what you want to tell others about your divorce, it will them come time to tell people. You will probably tell your friends and family first. Of course, they were probably really excited when you told them you were getting married, so they may have the opposite feelings when you tell them you are getting a divorce (unless your spouse is absolutely terrible).
If it is an amicable divorce, it may be okay to break the news to your friends and family together. However, if the divorce is bitter, it may be better to tell them separately. Otherwise, you may get into an argument during the conversation. This could make your friends and family feel very uncomfortable.
Work
You will likely have to talk with your corkers and boss when you start to tell others about your divorce. The advantage to doing this is that your boss may be more understanding and flexible if you have to take time off or leave for appointments such as going to therapy or to meet with a lawyer.
Tread carefully when you start to break the news to co-workers though. While some of them may be your friends, others may not want to know every detail of your life.
When it’s time to start to tell others about your divorce, keep these tips in mind. That will make your difficult conversation go a little bit smoother. Figure out what you want to say, and then start by telling friends and family, and then possibly people at your work too.