Strengthening Your Marriage After Children

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The baby and toddler years are some of the toughest for parents, so strengthening your marriage after children can seem like a daunting task. But it’s important to start making your relationship a priority again. Start by creating small rituals every day that connect the two of you. Try to practice gratitude with one another, and make a point to recognize their contributions. Support one another when the stress of parenting gets overwhelming. And finally, make time for just the two of you to be alone without kids in tow. It can be hard to find the time to devote to your relationship when you have all the stress of young children. However, it will help strengthen your relationship and make your marriage last.

Strengthening Your Marriage After Children: Surviving the Toddler Years

Create Small Rituals

One of the easy ways of strengthening your marriage after children is to create small rituals every day that connects you. They don’t have to be big. Just simple, easy-to-remember things that you can both look forward to each day. For example, you could share a cup of coffee in the morning before the kids wake up. Or take a few minutes after bedtime to hear about one another’s day. Even just a text message throughout the day can help you feel closer.

Recognize their Contributions

It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos of life with young kids and forget to notice all the amazing things that your partner does. But it can help your marriage after children if you try to make a point to recognize the small things they do for you and say out loud how grateful you are. Maybe your partner always takes out the trash without you having to ask, or makes you breakfast in the morning. Maybe it’s just that the groceries show up week after week, or the diaper pail is suddenly empty. No matter how small, if it’s a gesture that makes your life easier, recognize it and thank them.

Support One Another

Another great way of reconnecting in your marriage after children or with little ones in tow is to simply support one another. There will be days when each of you feels burnt out or grieves the loss of the freedom you used to have. Everybody has days where their temper is a bit shorter. Try to jump in and help out more when you sense that your partner is getting frazzled, and hopefully they’ll do the same for you.

Have Some One-on-One Time

Finally, the advice that everybody gets for strengthening your marriage after children is to keep dating each other. This is easier said than done though when leaving the house requires a babysitter. But it truly is important to make time for just the two of you to be together. Even if you don’t leave the house, set aside a little time each week to have dinner together after the kids are in bed. Turn off your phones and focus on one another. If you have the means or the help to go out for a meal or spend an afternoon together, even better. Having a little one-on-one time without kids interrupting or screaming in the background is just what you need to reconnect.

Strengthening your marriage after children is important because those young baby and toddler years are tough on a relationship. You both are probably exhausted, stressed, touched-out, and at the ends of your rope some days. But it truly will make a difference in your happiness if you can find a way to reconnect with your partner. Try to create small rituals together every day. Recognize all that your spouse does for you, and say out loud how grateful you are to them. Help one another out when times get tough. Everybody has bad days, so tag-teaming is the best way to support each other. And finally, carve out time for just the two of you to hang out without distractions. Children consume all their energy and time. But making a little effort to reconnect with your spouse will improve the overall happiness of your entire family.

How to Heal from Divorce Trauma

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Divorce trauma is a very real problem that can create issues for many aspects of your life. The stress of the divorce process is often compared to the stress of a loved one dying. It can create lasting emotional scars that can be quite difficult to heal from. It’s important to take some time to acknowledge the trauma. It’s also helpful to give yourself plenty of time and space to grieve. Therapy can be very helpful for dealing with the emotional damage of divorce as well. And finally, there are support groups for divorcees that many find to be very helpful. Hopefully, you can find the emotional support you need to begin the healing process and start to move on towards the next chapter in your life.

How to Heal from Divorce Trauma: Finding Yourself Again

Why is Divorce Traumatic?

Divorce trauma can create similar symptoms to PTSD. It can leave people with difficulties sleeping, negative thoughts about themselves, feelings of isolation, or a loss of interest in normal activities. Going through a divorce means changing everything about your life and the life that you thought you were going to live. And in reality, it is similar to a death in that you are losing a future you envisioned for yourself. Trauma from this type of upheaval can be serious and can impact all aspects of your life.

Acknowledge and Grieve

To help heal from divorce trauma, make sure that you acknowledge the trauma itself. Don’t try to write off your feelings. And don’t let others make you feel like you are overreacting to the situation. Instead, accept that this is an event that deserves grieving. Take the time to feel the emotional ups and downs of the divorce process. Everybody grieves in their way and on their schedule. So take as much time as you need.

Therapy

Therapy can be very helpful for divorce trauma, and there are many different kinds of therapy. For instance, talk therapy can be helpful so that you can organize your thoughts and feelings. Art therapy, creative therapy, or animal therapy can also be helpful for many. These types of therapies give you something else to focus on, and many find them soothing for stress.

Support Groups

Finally, support groups can be very helpful if you are experiencing divorce trauma. There are many people out there who are going through the divorce process. They can better understand exactly how you’re feeling and what struggles you might have. In addition, they provide an outlet for you to share your experiences which can be therapeutic. It’s easy to find local divorce support groups near you. Divorce trauma can feel overwhelming at times and can create difficulties in all aspects of your life. An intensely stressful divorce can leave you with the same symptoms as other forms of trauma. So make sure that you acknowledge these feelings. Take the time to grieve the life you believed you were going to have. And remember that you are on your schedule and can take as much time as you need. In addition, therapy can be extremely helpful for many people experiencing stress and trauma. And finally, support groups for divorcees can also be very helpful. Search online to find local groups near you that fit your schedule. It can take a while, but healing from divorce trauma is possible in time. Hopefully, you can find the support you need to begin moving through your grief.

Starting the Divorce Conversation: How to Begin

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The idea of starting the divorce conversation with your spouse can be painful to consider. However, most people tend to reach a breaking point in their relationship when they decide firmly that they do not want to continue the marriage. If you are at that point, it might be a good idea to speak to an attorney first to understand the legal process of divorce. Make sure that you are certain about your decision because you cannot unring the divorce bell. Pick the right time and place when there won’t be interruptions and try to keep the conversation calm. Your spouse might react in several different ways, but it’s important to stand firm and explain your reasoning. Hopefully, you and your ex will be in mutual agreement and can proceed with an amicable divorce.

Starting the Divorce Conversation: How to Begin the Talk with Your Spouse

Speak to an Attorney First

Many find it helpful to speak to an attorney before starting the divorce conversation. In some states, you’ll need to do a period of separation before you can begin the divorce process. An attorney can help you figure out what the steps are in your state. They can also help you decide if there are any steps you’ll want to take ahead of time to protect your assets before bringing up a divorce if you worry that your spouse might react badly. Having an idea of what you’re getting into can be a great place to start.

Make Sure that You Are Sure

Before starting the divorce conversation, make sure that you are certain about your decision. This is a bell that you cannot unring, so make sure that you won’t change your mind. For example, don’t decide on divorce in the heat of an argument. Rather, take a lot of time to think about all of the repercussions. It can also be helpful to speak with a relationship counselor to make sure that there aren’t ways to work through your problems.

Picking the Right Time

If you’ve considered it carefully and want to move forward with starting the divorce conversation, make sure that you pick your timing carefully. Find a time when you will not be interrupted. If you have small children, find childcare for them. In addition, make sure that you have plenty of time set aside for the conversation. For example, don’t try to spring it on your partner as they rush out the door for work. And finally, don’t bring up divorce in the middle of a heated argument. Instead, you’ll want to find a time when both you and your spouse are in a calm mental space.

Having the Talk

When you finally decide it’s time for starting the divorce conversation, just know that your partner might react in many different ways. For example, they might get upset, angry, or completely surprised. It’s important to keep your tone neutral and calm so that you can have a productive conversation. You want to make sure that you can explain yourself fully, so try not to let yourself get sidetracked by extreme emotions. In addition, if you are set in your decision, convey that. Don’t waver or act uncertain, but instead be firm with what you want.

Starting the divorce conversation is an overwhelming thing to consider. Divorce is a big deal, and not a decision that you should come to light. It can be helpful to speak with a therapist or counselor to help you make sure that this is the decision you want to make. In addition, it can also help to speak to an attorney beforehand so that you know what to expect out of the divorce process. Once you are certain about your decision, picking your timing is important. Finally, when you begin the conversation, try to make sure that you are firm but calm. Nobody wants to go through the stressful divorce process, however, staying in an unhealthy marriage can be much worse. Hopefully, you and your partner can move forward with separation and divorce in mutual agreement.

Possible Living Arrangements After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
There are several possible living arrangements after divorce if you and your ex are sharing custody of your children. You’ll each want to be equally involved in their lives. And it’s best to find a solution that doesn’t disrupt their normal life any more than necessary. Some parents opt to keep their original home and let one parent live there while the other rents another place. There are also situations where both parents choose to find their own spaces. However, some more unconventional ideas might work better. Nesting involves parents sharing a home on different days. And finally, double nesting means that parents live as roommates. Figuring out which solution works best for your family will depend on finances, location, and your co-parenting relationship.

Possible Living Arrangements After Divorce: Finding the Best Fit for Shared Custody

One Parent Moves Out

The most conventional of the types of living arrangements after divorce is when one parent keeps the house and the other moves out. In this situation, the parent moving out typically rents another space. The children then go back and forth between the two homes. This works well for many families because kids get to stay in a home that is familiar to them at least part of the time.

Both Parents Find New Homes

Another possible living arrangement after divorce is for both parents to find new places to live. Oftentimes families choose this option if the payments on their home are very expensive and it makes more sense financially to rent smaller, cheaper places. In this situation, children would still move back and forth between the two homes.

Nesting

Nesting is one of the less conventional living arrangements after divorce that is gaining a lot of popularity. In this situation, the children live full-time in their original home. The parents each take turns living in that home with them. Parents might share another location or each has a separate living space for when they are not living in the home with their children. This option allows your children to live in their homes without disruption or the need to shuffle back and forth.

Double Nesting

Finally, while most living arrangements after divorce involve the parents living separately, some families choose something called double nesting. This is when both parents stay in the home with their children and designate separate living quarters within the home that are their own. In this situation, the parents essentially live like roommates sharing a home and children. This is a tricky arrangement that only works if the parents can get along well and co-parent peacefully.

While there are many different living arrangements after divorce, your family might need to consider many variables when deciding which makes the most sense for you. Many families decide to allow one parent to stay in the home while the other parent rents their own space. Others choose to both move-out and find new homes. Both of these situations involve shuffling kids back and forth between two houses. However, if you and your ex do not want to re-locate your children, you can choose to try nesting and each share the home some of the time with your kids. Or if you feel like you can get along well as roommates, double nesting might be for you. However you decide to handle your post-divorce living situation, your children will probably adjust quickly. Hopefully, you can quickly find the solution that works best for your family.

Recovering Financially After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Recovering financially after divorce can be a lengthy process. Divorce is very expensive and can leave you in a very different financial situation than before you started. So it’s important to take stock once the dust settles and see where you are with your finances. Figure out your credit score, and work on rebuilding credit if it’s low. Create a budget and try to stick to it as much as possible. And remember to focus on your savings account so that you are prepared for emergencies and unexpected expenses. It can be helpful to get help from a financial advisor to create a realistic budget. Hopefully, you can begin building up your credit and putting away money for savings.

Recovering Financially After Divorce: Moving On without Going into Debt

Take Stock

After you’ve given yourself a little time to heal, it’s important to take stock of where you are once the divorce is final. Your living situation might have changed as well as your expenses and income. Therefore, it’s helpful to create a list of all of your assets, debts, income, and savings. Figuring out what’s coming in versus going out can help you with recovering financially after divorce.

Find Your Credit Score

Another important aspect of recovering financially after divorce is to figure out your credit score. Your score might change now that you and your ex have separate accounts. And your credit score is very important when you need to make decisions about housing or vehicles. Check your score, and if it’s low, look into ways to bring it up. Make sure to always pay bills on time and pay them in full.

Create a Budget

Now that you are living on your own, you need to create a budget for yourself. This might look very different than the budget that you and your ex shared. It can be helpful when recovering financially after divorce to put yourself on a limited budget to build up your savings. Try to cut back on unnecessary spending like eating out or purchases. At least for a little while until you can get more stable.

Focus on Savings

Finally, when recovering financially after divorce, focus on your savings. It’s important to have healthy savings account so that you are prepared for emergencies. Or for unexpected expenses like medical bills, car maintenance, or house repairs. It’s just you now, so you need to have a safety net for yourself. Focus on an emergency fund first, then move on to saving for things like vacations. Recovering financially after divorce can be a stressful process, and might be an eye-opener if you’ve never lived on your own. It can be scary to go from two incomes to one or to lose the support of a spouse’s income. However, you will find your way soon enough. Take stock of all of your spending and savings once the dust has settled from your divorce. Figure out your credit score and start working on building it up if it’s a little low. Create a budget and try to stick to it as closely as you can. This way, you’ll be able to build up your savings so that you’re prepared for emergencies. Hopefully, you will figure out your finances and become stable quickly as you build your savings up.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
While the divorce process is, of course, stressful and painful, you might find that there are unexpected benefits of divorce. There are negative effects as well, but many people are surprised to find some silver linings. Many find that they are more confident after a divorce. In addition, you will likely have more free time. And what’s more, your time is your own. Divorce can be a great way to start some new beginnings and exciting new chapters in your life. Finally, you can also prioritize your own goals and needs without feeling guilty. Divorce is difficult and it can be a very painful process. But hopefully, you will be able to experience some of these positive effects and begin to see your divorce as the start of a new chapter in your life.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce: Surprising Silver Linings

Confidence

Confidence is a very unexpected benefit of divorce. Most people assume that divorce will wreck their self-confidence. However, often the opposite is true. Divorce can be empowering and proof that you have what it takes to fight for what you deserve. What’s more, the thought of being single might be scary. However, after surviving a divorce, obstacles and fears might seem easier to overcome.

Free Time

Another unexpected benefit of divorce is that your time is now your own. You don’t have to worry about catering to your partner’s needs any longer. Or feel guilty when you take time for yourself. If you are now sharing custody of your children you might also have every other weekend free. While it can be a painful transition at first, you might start realizing there are a lot of benefits to having time to yourself now and then.

New Beginnings

Many people look at divorce as the closing of a chapter. But one of the surprising benefits of divorce is that it can be the first chapter in a new phase of life. Ending your marriage allows you to meet new people and even potentially a new partner. It might be just the fresh start you need to make changes in your life that you’ve been putting off for a long time.

Prioritizing Goals

Finally, another of the unexpected benefits of divorce is that you can now prioritize yourself and your own needs. If your marriage was on the rocks before, you might not have been able to take the time you need for self-care. In addition, if you put aside goals you now have the opportunity to reach for them. It’s okay to prioritize yourself now and get exactly what you want for your life.

While it can take a little while to realize the unexpected benefits of divorce, once you are through with the stress of the process itself, you can see the positives. Many find that although they thought they would be less confident, the process was empowering. And what’s more, they went through it and survived. After that, other fears might not seem as scary. Another positive is that your free time is now your own to do with as you please without guilt. You might also have more free time now, especially with shared custody. You can also prioritize your own goals and needs. And finally, divorce can often be the start of a new chapter in your life with exciting opportunities. While it can be painful and difficult, the divorce process is not all negative. There are some unexpected silver linings to look forward to eventually.

Where to Meet People After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you’ve just gone through a divorce, the idea of getting back into the dating game might have you feeling completely overwhelmed. The idea of going on a date is hard to imagine, but some people don’t even know where to start. If you’re wondering where to meet people after a divorce, try starting with a dating website. You can also ask a friend to set you up. Try looking for local meetup groups to meet other people more casually. And finally, don’t forget to hang out with other single friends because being a group can take the pressure off and bring other singles around. Hopefully, you can get back into the dating game and be well on your way to meeting somebody special.

Where to Meet People After a Divorce: Get Back in the Game

Dating Websites

The first place to start to meet people after a divorce is online. There are tons of dating websites nowadays. You can find sites based on your age, your hobbies, your religion, and more. There are even sites dedicated just to divorcees. You can choose to be upfront about your divorce right there in your profile. Or you can choose to wait until you’ve gone on a date or two to reveal your divorcee status to a new partner. It completely depends on your comfort level.

Ask A Friend

Don’t forget to ask your friends to help you meet people after a divorce. They may not be single, but they could know singles in your area that might be a good match. A bonus of this approach is that you already know that they’re approved by your friends. No need to worry about a stranger being dangerous. In addition, your friends know your personality and might be able to pair you up with somebody that would be a great match for you.

Meetup Group

There are plenty of local meetup groups you can try out if you are trying to meet people after a divorce. Whether you’re looking for a new date or just looking for a new group of friends to hang out with, meetup groups are great. You can find meetup groups to do just about any hobby or activity. Some sports meetups play things like kickball, softball, and volleyball. You can also find hobby groups for artists, hiking, or yoga. This is a great low-pressure way to meet new people. The idea isn’t to find romantic partners, but you never know when you might click with somebody.

Find Other Singles

Sometimes you can meet others more easily when you hang out in a group. Going out with your single friends might be a great way to meet people after a divorce. Single groups attract other single groups. And being in a group setting can take the pressure off of the first meeting with somebody. In addition, your friends can meet your new date at the same time.

Finding a way to meet people after a divorce can be overwhelming. Starting with an online website can be the easiest way to dip your toes back into the dating pool. You can also ask your friends and family if they know of any potential partners. Local meetup groups can help you meet tons of people in your area. And finally, sometimes hanging out with other single friends can help you casually meet other potential partners. The hardest thing about getting back into the dating world is just finding the confidence to start. But knowing where to meet new people can help take some of the pressure off and let you get started. Get back out there and find somebody who can be your new special someone!

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you are wondering if you need a divorce lawyer, you aren’t alone. Divorces can be very expensive and it might be tempting to save the money you’d pay to an attorney for something else. However, an attorney can prevent you from making mistakes that could be incredibly costly. It’s really in your best interest to have representation, even if you believe your divorce will be amicable. There are many risks involved with going it alone in a settlement. Find a divorce lawyer early in the process so that they can prepare you for what to expect. And finally, when choosing a divorce lawyer, make sure they have plenty of experience with similar cases. While it is not legally mandated that you use a divorce attorney, the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer? Weighing Your Options

The Short Answer

The short answer is that yes, in almost all cases, you need to hire a divorce lawyer. Even if you believe your divorce will be amicable, it still will be very complex. The divorce system is very hard to understand if you are not a divorce attorney yourself. It involves a lot of rules, paperwork, and forms. If any of those things are not done properly, you could wind up losing a lot of money. You could also end up losing assets, property, or risk having it affect your custody situation.

The Risks

There are many risks if you choose to not hire a divorce lawyer. If you own property and don’t have representation, you could wind up losing a lot of money or even be stuck paying for a home you don’t own. Having minor children also means you need representation, because you’ll need to decide how your co-parenting will look. Any errors in that and you could be dealing with a nightmare co-parenting situation for years. If you have retirement plans, assets, or are wanting to work out any spousal support you need to hire a divorce attorney.

When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Hire a divorce lawyer early on in the process. Many people find that the best advice is to hire representation before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. They can help you figure out what information you’ll need and prepare you in case your spouse retaliates negatively. They will also walk you through an overview of the process itself which can be very helpful.

How to Pick a Divorce Lawyer

It’s important to pick the right divorce lawyer for your case. Plan to interview several attorneys before making your decision. Don’t just use the recommendation of a friend unless you also feel like it’s a good fit. You want to make sure that your attorney has plenty of experience with cases similar to yours. You also need to make sure that they are within your budget.

Hiring a divorce lawyer is not legally necessary but it is the smartest move if you are going through a divorce. While it might seem expensive, a lawyer can end up getting you more money than you anticipated with your settlement. In addition, the amount of money you could lose if you make any errors could be astronomical. And those errors could also affect you for the rest of your life. This is especially true if you and your spouse own property, or have children, retirement plans, or large assets. Interview several attorneys before deciding on who will represent you, and hire them early in the process. This way they can walk you through every step to make sure you are getting the best settlement. Hiring good legal counsel is priceless and is the only way to truly protect yourself in a settlement.

Can My Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you’ve been cheated on, you might be wondering if your marriage can survive infidelity. The bigger question to ask though is if you want that or not. Some couples decide mutually that they want to make the marriage work, while others decide on divorce. Take some time to figure out what your goal is. Talk it over with your spouse and see if they are on the same page. Seek the advice of a marriage counselor to help you resolve issues and move past the trauma. And finally, if you both want to get past it, put in the work. Marriage is hard work, so it takes some effort to make it successful. Only you and your partner can decide if you can move past infidelity.

Can My Marriage Survive Infidelity? How to Move Forward

Decide What You Want

After infidelity, you need to take some time to decide what you want out of your marriage. Some couples decide that they cannot get over these issues, and wind up getting a divorce. If you are determined to make it work though, think through what your goals are for the marriage. For example, think about whether you will be able to move past the cheating. Will you be able to trust again?

Talk It Over

Once you decide what you’d like to do after infidelity, talk things over with your spouse. Try to sit down for a calm conversation to get their views. It’s important to get to the bottom of the reasons for the cheating in the first place. If they do want to work it out and move forward, how will they deal with future hardships? If they do not want to move forward with the marriage, try to respect their decision. Keep in mind that being in a marriage where you put in all the effort and get none in return isn’t fair to you.

Seek Support

No matter which way you and your spouse decide to go after infidelity, a marriage counselor can help. For example, they can give you great ideas on how to improve communication. In addition, they can help you work together to achieve goals or to even decide what those goals should be. It’s best to see a counselor both as a couple, but also individually.

Put In the Work

Finally, if you are determined to move forward and work things out after infidelity, you need to put in the work. You and your partner won’t be able to magically forget about what happened. Instead, you’ll need to check in with one another constantly and keep up with counseling for a while. You and your partner will hopefully be able to get closer after this and strengthen your marriage even more.

Only you and your spouse can tell if you’ll be able to survive infidelity. A lot might depend on the reason for it in the first place. It also might depend on your family circumstances, whether you have children and your finances. All of these factors should play a role, but ultimately you need to decide if you feel like you can move on. Then you need to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. If you both want to work things out, seek the advice of a marriage counselor. They will likely give you suggestions on how to strengthen your communication, which you’ll need to put into practice every day. You and your partner both need to re-commit to the marriage together. Hopefully, if you both decide you want to move forward, you can become even stronger in the long run.

Admitting Infidelity: How to Start the Conversation

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Admitting infidelity might be one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have. And unfortunately, it could end your relationship. However, continuing in a marriage where you are lying to your spouse is equally as hard. If you are wanting to open up about cheating on your partner, make sure to pick the right time and place. Give the entire truth, not just portions of it. You don’t want to have to go back later and tell more. Apologize to your spouse and be sincere and show that you understand how much you’ve hurt them. Finally, give them space after you talk with them. They may react in a lot of ways, but try to remain calm and give them time to experience their emotions. Hopefully, you can move past the infidelity and improve your marriage.

Admitting Infidelity: How to Start the Conversation with Your Spouse

Pick the Right Setting

Admitting infidelity is a delicate conversation to have. You want to make sure that you pick the best time and place for it. Don’t try to talk about this in a public space, but rather, pick someplace private where you won’t be overheard. In addition, pick a time when you have plenty of time available and won’t need to rush. Try to make sure that there won’t be distractions or interruptions.

Give the Whole Truth

Admitting infidelity is bad enough the first time, you don’t want to have to come back and have another conversation about it later. If you cheated more than once, come clean about it. Don’t let your partner think it was a one-time thing and then have them find out more details later. This will only make them trust you even less. If they ask questions, be truthful with your answers. Only go into as much detail as they ask for.

Apologize

When admitting infidelity, you probably feel terrible about what happened. Be honest about that too, and show your partner how sorry you are. Try to proactively think of ways to help the situation later if they are willing to continue the relationship. You might reach out to a marriage counselor or come up with some ideas on how to re-strengthen your marriage.

Give Them Space

Finally, give your partner plenty of space after admitting infidelity. They might be feeling a lot of emotions all at once and not know exactly how to react. For example, they might feel embarrassed, hurt, angry, or sad. They might react explosively at the moment. Try to remain calm and not get defensive. Give them plenty of space to feel their emotions. They’ll likely need some time to think things through. Give them that space to figure out if they want to move forward with the relationship and how. Admitting infidelity is an awkward and painful conversation for both partners. Try to make the conversation as pain-free as possible by setting yourself up on the right foot. Pick a time and place where you will have plenty of private and uninterrupted time together. Be honest with your partner and give them the whole truth. Don’t leave out details just because they are hard to admit. Your partner will eventually find them out and you will look even more dishonest in the long run. Apologize and show your spouse how much you realize you’ve hurt them. Try to brainstorm ways to improve your marriage if they are willing to move forward. And finally, give them plenty of space to work through their emotions and try to remain calm. Some couples can get through infidelity while others are not. However, you will feel much better getting the truth out.