Relationship Abuse: Different Types

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Relationship abuse can take many forms. It’s important to know the various types of abuse so that you can recognize them in your own life and in the lives of people you care about. Physical abuse is the most well-known type of abuse. It involves physical acts of aggression. However, relationship abuse doesn’t have to be physical. Sometimes emotional or verbal abuse is equally as harmful. Sexual abuse can be a form of both physical and emotional abuse. And finally, financial abuse involves using money to harm your partner. If you notice your partner doing any of these things, reach out and get support as soon as possible so that you can safely leave the relationship.

Relationship Abuse: Different Types and Forms of Abuse

Physical

The type of relationship abuse that many people think of first is physical abuse. This involves one partner hurting the other physically. It might be hitting, kicking, strangling, or any other way of causing pain. Physical abuse can also include restraining or even things like driving recklessly. Anything that makes a victim fear for their safety is physical abuse.

Verbal/Emotional

Another form of relationship abuse is verbal abuse or emotional abuse. Often, this involves the abuser making their partner feel worthless. Many abusers make their victims question their actions. Emotional abuse can be much harder to spot because it doesn’t leave marks. However, it can be just as damaging as other forms of abuse. Emotional abuse can harm a person’s self-confidence for the rest of their life.

Sexual

Sexual abuse is another form of relationship abuse. Sex should be consensual between two partners. Anytime it is not is considered sexual abuse. This type of abuse can also include withholding sex or using it as a weapon. Sex shouldn’t be used as a way to show power or control in a relationship. Instead, it should make a relationship stronger.

Financial

One last type of relationship abuse is financial abuse. This is all about control. Often the abuser will prevent their partner from being able to get a job to earn their own money. Or they will withhold money entirely. Others go through their partner’s spending habits with a fine-tooth comb and question everything. This can also take the shape of an abuser taking out credit cards in their partner’s name and running up large amounts of debt. Relationship abuse can take many different forms. But often it boils down to control. Abusers like to make their victims feel out of control and powerless. They’ll do this by taking away their self-confidence in any way they can. They might hurt their partner by hitting or strangling to show their power. Others use words to slowly break down their victim’s self-confidence. Others use sex in a relationship as a way to control their partner. And finally, some use money or withhold money to prevent their victims from feeling independent. It’s important to be able to recognize abuse in its many forms. You’ll be able to spot it in your own life but also can look out for loved ones as well. If you are in an abusive relationship, reach out for support. It’s important to get the help you need so that it doesn’t cause lasting harm.

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Affording adoption can be a tricky situation for many families. There is no way around it: adoption is expensive. However, there are plenty of different things to look into if you are trying to figure out how to raise the money for adoption. It’s best to start by figuring out your total costs. Then you can try getting creative with fundraising. You can also investigate bank loans to see if financing is possible. And finally, look into tax credits and grants for the public to help offset adoption costs. Hopefully, you can find a way to raise the money needed. Adoption is a beautiful way to add to your family and forever change the life of a child and yourself.

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds to Complete Your Family

Figure Out Your Up Front Costs

The best place to start when looking into affording adoption is to figure out how much it will cost in the end. Your chosen adoption agency will be a good place to start to figure out how much money you’ll need. Don’t forget to budget the cost of travel if you will be traveling to meet your child. You’ll also need to include adoption fees, attorney fees, and the costs of providing the supplies you’ll need for your child.

Fundraising

Affording adoption can also be easier if you try fundraising. There are plenty of creative options to try and raise some money. You can go to your local church to see if they have any programs to help offset adoption costs. You can also try traditional fundraising methods, like starting a GoFundMe page, bake sale, car wash, or garage sales. Many couples begin an adoption blog.

Loans

Affording adoption can also be easier if you apply for a loan. Many banks have options available to help couples afford the steep costs of adoption. Some adoption agencies have financing options as well. You can try taking out a personal loan. In addition, if you own your own house and have equity in it, you might be able to borrow against it using a line of credit.

Grants and Tax Credits

Finally, affording adoption is easier when you look into grants and tax credits. Many federal and national non-profits have grant programs for adoption costs. The IRS also offers a tax credit for adoption. Some jobs will include some benefits for employees looking to adopt.

Affording adoption can be a source of stress for many couples. However, there are many options available to help with the steep costs. The first step is to figure out the total anticipated costs of the adoption process. Don’t forget the costs to the adoption agency, attorney, traveling, outfitting your home, and the general cost of raising a child. You can try fundraising for the money and setting up a GoFundMe or blog to keep friends and family in the loop. Ask your bank about potential loans to help finance the adoption. And finally, look into federal grants and tax credits to help offset the costs. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out how to raise the money to bring the newest member of your family home.

Choosing a Marriage Counselor

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Choosing a marriage counselor can be an important factor in the success of your therapy journey. If you and your spouse are considering marriage counseling, talk about what you’d like to have in a therapist. Make sure that you have similar goals in mind for therapy and then start trying to find somebody that fits the bill. Interview several therapists to get an overall sense of their approach. Consider your budget and if your insurance might help pay for the therapy. You and your partner both need to agree with your therapist. Establish some goals with your counselor early and make sure that they are continuing to work towards them. And finally, trust your gut. If things don’t feel like they’re progressing, find somebody else. You and your partner need to agree on your counselor so that you both feel comfortable.

Choosing a Marriage Counselor: How to Pick the Best Fit

Interview Several

When choosing a marriage counselor, interview several before making your decision. You want to find a good fit for both you and your partner. Figure out what each therapists’ style is and see if it’s a match for your personality. You want to find somebody that you both feel very comfortable with and are open to sharing personal information with.

Consider Budget

Budget is always a consideration when choosing a marriage counselor. Therapy can be expensive, especially out of pocket. Talk to your insurance provider and see if any sort of therapy is covered by your insurance. You can also ask the therapist when you call whether they accept your insurance. If you need to pay out of pocket, make sure that that is something you and your spouse both agree on.

Establish Goals

When choosing a marriage counselor, it’s a good idea to establish your goals ahead of time. Decide if you are wanting therapy to stay together and strengthen your relationship. Or if you are looking for therapy to decide to separate. If you want your goal to be staying together, make sure that your counselor is in agreement with that goal and working towards it.

Trust Your Gut

Finally, trust your gut when choosing a marriage counselor. If something feels unprofessional or like it’s not a great fit, move on to somebody else. You should also never feel like your counselor is siding with either one of you. Nobody wants to feel ganged up on, so if it feels like your counselor is taking sides, then they aren’t being professional. Move on to a different therapist that is a better fit. Choosing a marriage counselor is a big decision when it comes to the overall health of your marriage. And marriage counseling doesn’t have to happen because you’re having troubles. It’s a great idea to see a therapist even when things are great. They can help you identify why things are going so well and give you ways to get back to that feeling when things get tougher. Interview several therapists and figure out who is going to be a good fit. Take your budget into consideration and check into your insurance. Establish goals ahead of time with your counselor and make sure they’re working towards them with you. And finally, trust your gut and find a new therapist if things don’t feel like a good fit. Both you and your partner need to feel good about your choice so that you can get the most out of your counseling sessions.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you are wondering if you need a divorce lawyer, you aren’t alone. Divorces can be very expensive and it might be tempting to save the money you’d pay to an attorney for something else. However, an attorney can prevent you from making mistakes that could be incredibly costly. It’s really in your best interest to have representation, even if you believe your divorce will be amicable. There are many risks involved with going it alone in a settlement. Find a divorce lawyer early in the process so that they can prepare you for what to expect. And finally, when choosing a divorce lawyer, make sure they have plenty of experience with similar cases. While it is not legally mandated that you use a divorce attorney, the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer? Weighing Your Options

The Short Answer

The short answer is that yes, in almost all cases, you need to hire a divorce lawyer. Even if you believe your divorce will be amicable, it still will be very complex. The divorce system is very hard to understand if you are not a divorce attorney yourself. It involves a lot of rules, paperwork, and forms. If any of those things are not done properly, you could wind up losing a lot of money. You could also end up losing assets, property, or risk having it affect your custody situation.

The Risks

There are many risks if you choose to not hire a divorce lawyer. If you own property and don’t have representation, you could wind up losing a lot of money or even be stuck paying for a home you don’t own. Having minor children also means you need representation, because you’ll need to decide how your co-parenting will look. Any errors in that and you could be dealing with a nightmare co-parenting situation for years. If you have retirement plans, assets, or are wanting to work out any spousal support you need to hire a divorce attorney.

When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Hire a divorce lawyer early on in the process. Many people find that the best advice is to hire representation before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. They can help you figure out what information you’ll need and prepare you in case your spouse retaliates negatively. They will also walk you through an overview of the process itself which can be very helpful.

How to Pick a Divorce Lawyer

It’s important to pick the right divorce lawyer for your case. Plan to interview several attorneys before making your decision. Don’t just use the recommendation of a friend unless you also feel like it’s a good fit. You want to make sure that your attorney has plenty of experience with cases similar to yours. You also need to make sure that they are within your budget.

Hiring a divorce lawyer is not legally necessary but it is the smartest move if you are going through a divorce. While it might seem expensive, a lawyer can end up getting you more money than you anticipated with your settlement. In addition, the amount of money you could lose if you make any errors could be astronomical. And those errors could also affect you for the rest of your life. This is especially true if you and your spouse own property, or have children, retirement plans, or large assets. Interview several attorneys before deciding on who will represent you, and hire them early in the process. This way they can walk you through every step to make sure you are getting the best settlement. Hiring good legal counsel is priceless and is the only way to truly protect yourself in a settlement.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
While the divorce process is, of course, stressful and painful, you might find that there are unexpected benefits of divorce. There are negative effects as well, but many people are surprised to find some silver linings. Many find that they are more confident after a divorce. In addition, you will likely have more free time. And what’s more, your time is your own. Divorce can be a great way to start some new beginnings and exciting new chapters in your life. Finally, you can also prioritize your own goals and needs without feeling guilty. Divorce is difficult and it can be a very painful process. But hopefully, you will be able to experience some of these positive effects and begin to see your divorce as the start of a new chapter in your life.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce: Surprising Silver Linings

Confidence

Confidence is a very unexpected benefit of divorce. Most people assume that divorce will wreck their self-confidence. However, often the opposite is true. Divorce can be empowering and proof that you have what it takes to fight for what you deserve. What’s more, the thought of being single might be scary. However, after surviving a divorce, obstacles and fears might seem easier to overcome.

Free Time

Another unexpected benefit of divorce is that your time is now your own. You don’t have to worry about catering to your partner’s needs any longer. Or feel guilty when you take time for yourself. If you are now sharing custody of your children you might also have every other weekend free. While it can be a painful transition at first, you might start realizing there are a lot of benefits to having time to yourself now and then.

New Beginnings

Many people look at divorce as the closing of a chapter. But one of the surprising benefits of divorce is that it can be the first chapter in a new phase of life. Ending your marriage allows you to meet new people and even potentially a new partner. It might be just the fresh start you need to make changes in your life that you’ve been putting off for a long time.

Prioritizing Goals

Finally, another of the unexpected benefits of divorce is that you can now prioritize yourself and your own needs. If your marriage was on the rocks before, you might not have been able to take the time you need for self-care. In addition, if you put aside goals you now have the opportunity to reach for them. It’s okay to prioritize yourself now and get exactly what you want for your life.

While it can take a little while to realize the unexpected benefits of divorce, once you are through with the stress of the process itself, you can see the positives. Many find that although they thought they would be less confident, the process was empowering. And what’s more, they went through it and survived. After that, other fears might not seem as scary. Another positive is that your free time is now your own to do with as you please without guilt. You might also have more free time now, especially with shared custody. You can also prioritize your own goals and needs. And finally, divorce can often be the start of a new chapter in your life with exciting opportunities. While it can be painful and difficult, the divorce process is not all negative. There are some unexpected silver linings to look forward to eventually.

Divorce News: Making a Plan

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be hard to bring up divorce with your spouse. However, it can be even harder to break the divorce news to your kids. With how traumatic divorce can be for them, you want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible…

Divorce News: Telling The Kids

Tell them together

When breaking divorce news to your kids, it’s important you and your spouse tell them together. In effect, you’ll both want to maintain a united front. After all, you kids aren’t going to know what you know about the divorce or who suggested it. Doing it together helps tell them you’re still working together.

Also, this avoids sending them any mixed messages. If you tell them first, and your partner does later, it could confuse your kids. Plus, you won’t know what your partner could say. Doing this together is good for making sure you’re both on the same page.

Wait for a good time

Another thing to remember when breaking divorce news to the kids is that timing is key. You don’t want to decide on a divorce, and then immediately tell the kids. You’ll also want to avoid telling them when they’re already angry or upset due to something else. Instead, you should make sure the time is right.

Wait until you and your spouse are sure you’ll divorce, and have some kind of plan set in place. Then, be sure to tell the kids somewhere they feel comfortable, and when they aren’t already emotional. This will help ensure the potential shockisn’t made worse by outside factors.

Know what to tell them

Of course, if you’re breaking divorce news, you should know what exactly you’re going to say. Your kids don’t need all the specific details of what went wrong. Most of it probably won’t make sense to them, especially if they’re younger. Rather, you should give them reassurance and a plan for the future.

Be sure that your kids know they aren’t responsible for the divorce, and that you both still love them. This reassurance is important for helping them start to process what’s going on. Then, tell them what might be happening in the future. If they know what to expect, then it’ll be easier for them to prepare emotionally.

Extra Income: Single Parent Pluses

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After a divorce, newly-single parents may seem to be facing financial hardships they are not used to facing. Because of the difference in income (a dual income home becoming a single income home), it is understandable why parents would need an extra income. Here are some ways you can generate an extra income as a single parent.

Extra Income: Ideas for Single Parents

Writing

Writing is a great idea for an extra income. Because content writing is growing in popularity for a multitude of websites, writing on the side can become a lucrative and easy addition to your income. You can do it on your own time and write as little or as much as you want.

Pet Sitting

There is an art to pet sitting that not everyone has, but it certainly is an extra income that is easy to make. You can start by making small flyers for your neighborhood or simply by word of mouth. Pet sitting can vary from daily walks to over-night, long term stays. You decide what you are comfortable doing and what works best with your schedule. Additionally, the therapy from hanging out with a dog for a little while will boost your mood!

Online Selling

With the growing popularity of online marketplaces, it is easier than ever to sell unused or unwanted items online. You can declutter and earn some cash at the same time! This extra income will require a small amount of time and planning: you’ll have to coordinate with others to meet up.

Tax Preparation

While it is past tax season for this year, you can get your license and prepare for next year’s season. Tax season is busy since literally everyone has to file by a certain date. This form of extra income is seasonal, but worth it if you don’t mind the extra hours.

Part Time Jobs

​While it may seem like a commitment, a part time job will be an extra income that could also bring other benefits. Some stores give a discount for employees that could also help your family. If you get a 10% discount on food and other necessities, you’re not only earning an extra few dollars, but saving them, too!

Finding New Hobbies After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Finding new hobbies after divorce can be a great way to get out of the house, feel social, and meet new people. And as you improve at a new hobby, you’ll get a boost of self-confidence. It’s normal to want to isolate yourself after divorce, but it can lead to loneliness. So getting out of the house and trying a new class, exercise, or craft can be a great way to break up the monotony. It’s also a great way to meet new people, or even a new partner eventually. Explore different options and get outside of your comfort zone to try something completely new. If you feel overwhelmed or nervous to start, consider bringing a friend along for support. Hopefully, you’ll find a new passion and enjoy improving at your new skill.

Finding New Hobbies After Divorce: Boost Your Confidence

Improve Confidence

One of the reasons why finding new hobbies after divorce is so important is because it can boost confidence. Many people experience insecurity after a divorce, and it’s normal to feel a little less confident than usual. But as you improve at a new skill, it naturally can boost your confidence and make you feel proud of yourself. Having small goals to reach for can also give you something to focus on that can distract you from your divorce.

Meet New People

Another reason why finding new hobbies after divorce is helpful is because it’s a great way to meet new people. You might find new friends to connect with, or even meet a potential new date. Try to be open and friendly to others in an exercise or craft class, or consider joining a meet-up group.

Explore Some Options

When finding new hobbies after divorce, it’s best to get out of your comfort zone and explore some new things. You never know if you have a passion for something until you try it. So consider signing up for a few classes. You might explore new types of exercise like a hiking group, running club, or yoga class. Or hobby classes like painting, ceramics, or acting. If you’re passionate about something, see if there are workshops in your area so you can improve your skills.

Bring a Friend

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with trying to find hobbies after a divorce, it can be helpful to bring a friend along for the ride. Starting something new, or joining a class with strangers can be a little intimidating. Ask a friend or family member to come along with you so that you have somebody to talk to or laugh with after the class.

Finding new hobbies after divorce can be incredibly helpful when it comes to moving on and processing your emotions. It’s normal to want to isolate yourself or stay home when you are experiencing something stressful like a divorce. However, getting out of the house, trying new things, and meeting new people can actually make you feel a lot better, and can boost your self-confidence. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things like an exercise or craft class in something you’ve never tried. You might consider joining a meet-up group so that you can easily meet new people, or bring a friend along if you’re feeling intimidated. You never know when you’ll find your next passion in life, or when you’ll meet a new friend. Plus, when you feel like you’re ready to explore dating again, it can be a great way to meet new potential partners.

Hung Up on Your Ex: What to Do

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you are divorced and still hung up on your ex, it can be hard to get through the day to day of your new life. It’s normal to experience some emotional ups and downs during the divorce process and after it is finalized. But for some, moving forward can be more difficult than for others. And it can take some time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t let anybody pressure you to move on before you feel ready. Take time to confront your grief about your marriage ending. Establish healthy routines for yourself like getting out of the house, getting exercise, focusing on your own happiness, and taking time for your mental health. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things instead of isolating yourself at home. Finally, lean on your support group or consider therapy to really get to the bottom of your lingering feelings. Hopefully, you can get the support you need to begin moving forward.

Hung Up on Your Ex: What to Do and How to Begin to Move On

Confront Your Feelings

If you feel that you’re hung up on your ex, it’s important to really accept your emotions. Many try to deny how they feel, or pretend that a divorce is not a big deal. However, even if you decided mutually to break up, the end of a marriage is still a reason to grieve. Not only are you losing an important person from your everyday life, but a future that you envisioned for yourself for a long time. Allow yourself to grieve and experience the roller coaster of emotions without trying to tamp them down.

Establish Healthy Routines

Another thing that can be helpful if you’re hung up on your ex is to establish some healthy routines. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is important. So try to get outside for some exercise for a little while every day. Eat a balanced meal filled with whole foods, and drink plenty of water. Finally, try to get into a healthy sleep routine so you can be your happiest self. If you struggle to fall asleep, consider getting blackout curtains or a sleep mask. You might also try things like white noise machines, calming music, or a long bath before bed to wind down.

Try New Things

It’s normal for people who are grieving to want to isolate themselves. But this can make it more difficult to move on. So force yourself out of the house each day, and try to be as social as you can be. Invite friends over or ask them to include you in plans so that you don’t feel lonely. Get out and try new activities, like a new hobby or exercise class. Learning a new skill can help you build some self-confidence, especially if you set some small and attainable goals for yourself. Staying busy means less time to focus on your ex.

Get Support

Finally, if you’re hung up your ex, you’ll need to rely on support from friends and family. If you’re feeling especially emotional, call a friend or ask a neighbor to take a walk with you. Speaking to a therapist can also be extremely helpful. They can help you process your emotions, find healthy coping techniques for stress, and help you navigate the grieving process. If you are feeling depressed, speak to your doctor or find support from a grief counselor. There are also things like support groups or meetup groups for divorcees that might allow you to connect to others who have been in a similar situation.

Moving on after a divorce can take different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t try to compare yourself to friends that have been through divorce. Instead, give yourself some grace and patience, and take as long as you need to. If you feel like you’re hung up on your ex, it can make it even harder to move on from the divorce. Don’t try to cover up your feelings, but instead, confront them. It’s okay to take some time to grieve the end of your marriage. Try to take care of your mental and physical health by getting into healthy routines like exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, and getting plenty of sleep. Try to get out of the house and try new things instead of isolating yourself. Learning new skills can help you build confidence and can be a great distraction from thoughts of your ex. Finally, get support from friends or family, or from a therapist to help you begin to move on. Hopefully, you can start to heal from your divorce and begin focusing on the next chapter of your life without grieving your ex too much.

How-to Find a Job After a Divorce: Hitting Your Stride

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Getting a divorce could mean having to reenter the job market. It is common that spouses that were “stay-at-home” parents before the split, but may need to find a job after the split. During the separation period, you will have to take a good hard look at your financial situation. Depending on your circumstances, you may determine that without income, you will not be able to afford the same time of lifestyle you have been accustomed to. Therefore, it is important to know how to find a job after a divorce. With a little time, effort, and patience, it is possible to reenter the workforce.

How-to Find a Job After a Divorce: Reentering the Workforce

Pick a Path

First, to find a job after a divorce, you will have to determine which career path you want to pursue. Keep in mind that just because you went to school for something, or worked in that industry before, does not mean you have to return to that field. It is a good idea to do some research about different career options. Ask your friends about their careers, and if they enjoy them. You could get inspiration from them! Doing online searches is a good option as well.

This is a great opportunity to do some soul-searching and determine what you want to do with your life. Start by thinking about what you love doing and what you are passionate about. Even if you can not turn your exact passion into a career, try and evaluate what it is about that hobby and see if you can apply that into another career path. Perhaps you enjoy playing team sports. Do you enjoy the socialization part of it? Or perhaps the competitive or strategic part of it? These different aspects can translate into different types of careers you could consider.

Set Yourself Up For Success

When trying to find a job after a divorce, you will want to take the steps to set yourself up for success. You will want to make sure to create an updated resume and cover letter so that you are prepared to apply for jobs. Have a friend you trust, or a career coach, to read it and give you feedback. Don’t forget to let your friends know that you are on the job hunt. They may know of positions or have connections that may be able to help you out.

If you don’t already have one, create a profile on LinkedIn. This will help potential employers find you, and help you to connect with others in your desired field. Having an update LinkedIn profile is an important step in the job hunting process. Many employers will even have a spot on their job applications for you to share your LinkedIn account name.

Apply

Applying for jobs can be frustrating and draining. You may hear a lot of “no’s”, or even get ignored, before getting a “yes”. Do not get discouraged. If you are not getting any luck, consider getting a career coach, or speaking with a recruiter. These can be helpful resources when trying to find a job after a divorce.

Education

If you absolutely can not find a job that you like and can support you without going back to school, you can pursue further education. There are plenty of programs out there that are geared towards adult students. Most of these even provide schedules that work around work schedules. This could allow you to find an interim job to be able to make money, plus still be able to take classes. Keep in mind that just because you go back to school for something doesn’t mean you will automatically land your dream job in that field. It could still take time, effort and patience to get to where you want to be. You may have to work some entry-level jobs initially, but you can still get to the career that you want with a little work.