Adoption Home Study Tips and Advice

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The adoption home study is an important step of the adoption process. A home study occurs when a representative from your adoption agency comes to your house. They’ll see if you can provide a safe and loving environment for a child. The most important thing to remember is to relax and just be yourself. Prepare legal documents ahead of time so that everything is ready to go. Prepare your home for the home study by cleaning, baby proofing, and acquiring some child essentials. And finally, prepare yourself mentally for the home study. Hopefully, your home study will go great and you’ll be well on your way to adopting your future child.

Adoption Home Study Tips and Advice to Get Through the Process

Relax

The most important thing to remember before the adoption home study is to relax. The agent is not there to try to find faults with you. They don’t want to ding you out of the program at all. The adoption agent wants to help you prepare for your child in any way possible. Don’t work yourself up into a frenzy, just try to relax and answer their questions honestly.

Prepare Documents

Another good idea before the adoption home study is to prepare your legal documents. You’ll likely need to show all kinds of legal documents throughout your adoption, so it’s best to keep them all together. Have your birth certificates, marriage license, working pay stubs, financial documents, and employer letters handy. This way you won’t need to waste time looking for them.

Prepare Your Home

It’s also, of course, important to prepare your home for your adoption home study. This isn’t about cleaning everything. While your home should be tidy, that’s not really what the agency is looking for. They’re more interested to see what sort of space you have for your potential child, how you plan to childproof, and how you’ll incorporate them into your life. It’s not a bad idea to go ahead and knock out the child-proofing, as well as some of the essentials you’ll need when your child comes to live with you.

Prepare Mentally

Finally, you’ll need to prepare mentally for the adoption home study. Many people psyche themselves out and get incredibly nervous in the lead-up to the meeting. However, it’s important to keep yourself calm so that you can answer their questions truthfully and sincerely. Be yourself and show them what you have to offer as a parent. Know how you’ll answer questions about why you are choosing adoption and what makes you a great parent. The adoption home study is incredibly important during the adoption process. Prepare yourself in advance so that you aren’t scrambling at the last minute when your agent shows up at your door. Gather your legal documents ahead of time so you can quickly find them when needed. Prepare your home by cleaning it and getting it ready for a child. Prepare yourself mentally by thinking about how you’ll answer potential questions. And finally, and most importantly, relax! The goal of the home study is to make sure you are creating a loving environment for a child, not to find faults with you. You’ll do great in your home study if you are just yourself and show them how great of a parent you will be.

What Happens During Marriage Counseling?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Many people wonder what happens during marriage counseling. If you and your partner are thinking about going to a counselor, you might want to know what you can expect to learn. Of course, everything depends on the couple and the therapist. However, there are a few things that you will likely learn with almost any counselor. One of these is communication. You’ll probably also cover some conflict resolution. Many counselors give you real tools for dealing with difficult life stages. They also might encourage you to keep coming throughout your marriage. And finally, it’s also important to know that marriage counseling is not a place for venting. It’s a place to come together and learn to be in a healthier marriage. Hopefully, you’ll learn valuable tools to help make your marriage as strong as possible.

What Happens During Marriage Counseling? What to Expect to Learn

Communication

Everybody knows that good communication is the basis of any healthy marriage. However, it often takes marriage counseling for couples to understand how to do it. People communicate differently than each other. You and your partner might have very different styles. Things can get lost in translation if this is the case. Or blown out of proportion. A therapist can help you figure out how to better communicate with each other. And also how to better listen to each other. Not just the words you use but the hidden meaning behind them that is based on your particular style of communication.

Conflict-Resolution

Another important tool that you will hopefully learn in marriage counseling is conflict resolution. Just like communication, people also fight differently. One partner might want to talk about issues whereas the other wants to ignore them. Learning to address your problems healthily and respectfully is key. But it can also be hard to learn. A marriage counselor might be able to smooth things over since they will be able to see both sides of a conflict.

Advice for Difficult Life Stages

Marriage counseling should also provide you with tools for handling tough life stages. Many people recommend marriage counseling when your relationship is struggling. But it’s also helpful to go when it’s healthy. If you are going through a tough life stage, a counselor can be very helpful. Transition periods, adultery, or dealing with grief are examples of life stages that they can help you through. Hopefully, they’ll give you some tools for healthily channeling your emotions and communicating them with your partner. They will also likely encourage you to come back if anything comes up in your marriage that you feel you need help navigating.

Not a Venting Session

Finally, while it’s important to know what a counseling session involves, it’s also important to know what a counseling session doesn’t involve. And that is ranting. A counseling session is not a place to vent all your frustrations with your spouse and expect a counselor to side with you. Or expect them to only address your partner’s issues. You might feel that the problems are one-sided. But likely, a counselor will help you to see that there is usually fault on both sides. And also usually room for improvement on both sides. Marriage counseling is a valuable tool for any healthy relationship. While each therapist and couple are different, your sessions should include some of the same ideas. For example, communication is likely to be a hot topic. You’ll also probably work on conflict resolution. Many counselors give you advice for tough life stages. They’ll probably also ask you to come back periodically to check in. And finally, it’s good to know in advance that this is not a place to rant. A counselor is more interested in helping you grow than hearing complaints. Hopefully, they’ll help you learn to trust one another and open up more. Marriage counseling can give you the tools to help you work together to make and keep your relationship as strong as possible.

The Emotional Stages of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The emotional stages of divorce are slightly different for everybody and can take different amounts of time for everyone. However, many divorcees report having similar overall patterns to their emotional response to divorce. If you are not the partner proposing the divorce, there might be a lot of initial shock. Many then move to a stage of denial where it’s difficult to accept that this is happening. After that, many people go through conflicting emotions like anger and grief. And finally, you’ll eventually reach a stage of letting go and moving on. This is where the healing process begins. Hopefully, you can healthily address your emotions and get the support you need to handle the emotional stress of divorce.

The Emotional Stages of Divorce: Going Through the Process

Shock

The emotional stages of divorce can begin with a big shock if you aren’t the one that decided to pursue the divorce. Oftentimes divorce is a mutual agreement, but sometimes that’s not the case. If your partner decided to spring a divorce on you, you might be in a lot of shock. Perhaps you wanted to work on the relationship before taking such a drastic step. Hopefully, your initial shock will wear off before too long.

Denial

Many people going through the emotional stages of divorce can bring a moment of denial. This might also be a stage where there is bargaining and trying to mend the relationship. However, even if you both have decided together to move forward with the divorce, there is still often some denial. It’s difficult to accept that your marriage is over.

Conflicting Emotions

The next in the emotional stages of divorce is conflicting emotions. This can be very different for everybody. Many people cycle between feeling resentful, angry, hurt, and sad about their divorce. It’s normal to feel a lot of conflicting emotions. You might be missing your partner in one moment and wanting to think about reconciling, and then furious at them the next. This stage can take the longest, but you must go at your own pace.

Letting Go

Finally, the last of the emotional stages of divorce is the letting go stage. This is where you finally accept the divorce and begin to move on from it. Often this is when people begin imagining what the next stage of life will be like. While this stage doesn’t mean that you’ve healed entirely, it just means that you have accepted the divorce and are no longer fighting it. Divorce is incredibly stressful, and everybody experiences it in their way. The emotional stages of divorce that you go through might look different than your ex or somebody else you know. It’s perfectly normal to go back and forth with lots of emotions. You’ll likely start with some shock and denial that the divorce is happening. Then many people feel conflicting emotions for a long time before finally letting go. Hopefully, you can begin to see your divorce as a beautiful opportunity to create a new chapter in your life. Just make sure that you take some time to emotionally heal from the stress of the divorce process before you jump back into the dating pool.

Hidden Signs of Physical Abuse

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
There are many hidden signs of physical abuse to look for in case you are worried a friend is in a troubled relationship. They may not be comfortable opening up to you about what is going on. However, if you sense that something is off with them, you can look for these signs. New changes in clothing style might be harmless but could also signal a desire to cover up more. In addition, if they are suddenly unavailable or seem anxious to make meet-ups quickly it can be a red flag. Sudden personality changes can signal a lot of things, but abuse can often lead to this. And finally, unexplained injuries or vague chronic pain can be an indication of abuse. If you notice any of these signs in a friend or loved one, it might be worth investigating further and offering your support if they need help.

Hidden Signs of Physical Abuse: What to Notice

New Changes in Clothing Style

One of the subtle signs of physical abuse is a sudden change in clothing style. Often abusers prefer their partners to cover up and dress conservatively in public. If your usually flamboyant and brightly dressed friend is suddenly covered up in baggy and bleak clothing, it might be a sign that all is not well. In addition, if they are wearing long sleeves or turtlenecks when the temperature is too hot for that type of clothing, it might be that they are covering up bruises.

Suddenly Not Available

Another sign of physical abuse is that your friend is suddenly not available to hang out very much. Oftentimes abusers want to keep their partners close by and feel threatened if they have close friends. Your friend might suddenly not be available to hang out or give vague reasons for why they can’t. They also might seem anxious when you do hang out and act like they’re eager to leave. This could be a sign that their partner is controlling.

Sudden Changes in Personality

Sudden personality changes are signs of physical abuse but also signs of many other things. A friend in an abusive relationship might suddenly be more quiet than usual, develop anxiety, depression, or even get very defensive. They might not want to talk about their partner or get overly angry if you question the relationship at all. Of course, many other factors can cause a personality change.

Unexplained Injuries

Finally, unexplained injuries are one of the less subtle signs of physical abuse. If your friend or loved one has many bruises, cuts, grip marks, or other injuries, you need to investigate. Oftentimes, victims of abuse will give very vague answers as to where the injuries are coming from. Or they might use the same excuse several times. If something feels off, trust your gut. Dig deeper with them to find out the source of the injuries. The signs of physical abuse are often hard to spot, as abusers are very good at hurting their partners in places that can be covered up. However, if you have a detailed eye, you might be able to spot some warning signs in a friend or loved one. Of course, none of these signs are evidence of abuse all on their own. Rather, it’s the combination of several of these warning signs that might make you question things. For example, your friend might have suddenly changed their clothing style, or you might detect changes in their personality. If they suddenly seem unavailable or anxious to get home when you hang out, it might be a red flag. And of course, you should investigate further if you notice visible injuries. Hopefully, your friend or loved one will feel comfortable confiding in you and you can get them the help they need.

Dating After a Divorce: Pitfalls to Avoid

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Dating after a divorce can seem a little overwhelming at first, but you’ll get more comfortable with it as time goes on. When you first get your divorce finalized, it’s important to take plenty of time before jumping back into the dating world. You need to make sure that you are ready for it emotionally. It’s also important to pace yourself with a new relationship and take things slowly. Don’t ignore red flags if they come up in the relationship. And finally, avoid trash-talking your ex or even talking too much about them at all. It’s best just to focus on the new relationship! Hopefully, you can meet somebody new that is a great fit for you and you can begin a beautiful relationship together.

Dating After a Divorce: Pitfalls to Avoid When Getting Back into the Dating Pool

Jumping In Before You’re Ready

One of the common pitfalls to watch out for when dating after a divorce is jumping in before you’re ready. You need to make sure that you’ve fully healed from the stress of your divorce. It can take time to heal and to get back into the correct mindset for dating somebody new. Don’t rush things, take as much time as you need. You need to be in a clear headspace and ready to open yourself up to somebody new.

Moving Too Quickly

Another issue to avoid when dating after a divorce is moving too quickly with a new relationship. It’s important to take things slow. Make sure that you feel totally comfortable with your new partner before getting intimate with them. If they try to pressure you to move more quickly than you feel comfortable with, leave. A respectful partner won’t pressure you.

Ignoring Red Flags

Ignoring red flags is another pitfall to watch out for when dating after a divorce. Some people feel like they need to find somebody new quickly. So they’ll settle for a partner that maybe doesn’t really fit their needs. Or maybe even a partner that has red flags. Take your time and get to know somebody before getting serious. If they have any red flags like being overly controlling, disrespectful, or unhinged, get out early.

Trash Talking the Ex

Finally, one very common mistake that a lot of people make when dating after a divorce is trash-talking the ex. Even just talking about them too much can be a turn-off. Your new partner doesn’t want to hear all the dirt on your ex. It makes you come off as sounding petty and resentful. Try to focus on your new partner instead. If you’d like to share that you’re divorced, that’s perfectly fine, but don’t revolve the entire date around your divorce stress or your ex. Dating after a divorce can be intimidating at first, but it’s an important stage in the healing process. Some people are thrilled at the finalization of their divorce while others grieve. But divorce can be a great reason to get a fresh start in life. Find somebody new that is a better fit for you and build a life together. Just make sure that you’ve taken plenty of time to process your emotions from the divorce. In addition, take things slowly with your new partner. This will give you plenty of time to spot potential red flags. Don’t ignore these if you see them. And finally, don’t talk too much about your ex, but instead focus on learning things about your new partner. Hopefully, you can find somebody that is a perfect fit for you!

Deep Breathing Exercises for Divorce Stress

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Deep breathing exercises are just one way to help relieve divorce stress. You could also go for a massage, take a walk, call a friend, or practice some yoga. However, if you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed, deep breathing is a quick and easy way to gain some control back. It forces you to focus on your body, rather than your stress. The 4-7-8 Breathing technique is a tried and true method for slowing down your breathing to a calming pace. Alternating your nostrils is a good distraction from other stress. Progressive Relaxation is a whole-body de-stressing experience. And Lion’s Breath is an unusual but effective way to relieve some pent-up anxiety. Hopefully, you can practice some deep breathing and other calming techniques to help you manage the stress of a divorce.

Deep Breathing Exercises for Divorce Stress: Learn to Calm Yourself Down

4-7-8 Breathing

4-7-8 Breathing is one of the most popular deep breathing exercises for stress relief. Shallow breathing causes your body to increase in stress levels. Taking deep, calming breaths forces your body to naturally calm down and can lower the acute stress hormone levels. Breathe in deeply for 4 counts. Then, hold your breath for 7. Then, exhale slowly for 8 counts. Repeat until you feel calmer.

Alternate Nostril Breathing

Another of the quick and easy deep breathing exercises you can try for divorce stress is alternate nostril breathing. To do this, find a comfortable seated position. Use your hand to plug your right nostril. Breathe deeply through your left nostril. Then, switch your fingers to plug your left nostril and breathe out slowly through your right. Continue alternating back and forth.

Progressive Relaxation

Progressive relaxation is one of the deep breathing exercises that also involves some meditation or focused thinking. It’s best to do this in a very comfortable seated position, or even better, lying down. Breathe deeply from your belly and concentrate on your toes. Focus on releasing all tension in every muscle of your toes. Then work up to your ankles, your lower legs, your knees, etc. Work your way up to your facial muscles and then back down to your toes. Hopefully, this will allow you to relax and relieve any acute anxiety or panic.

Lion’s Breath

Finally, Lion’s Breath is one of the deep breathing techniques that you might want to do in the privacy of your house. To do this, spread your fingers as wide as possible and breathe in through your nose. Open your mouth as wide as you can and stick out your tongue and stretch it towards your chin. Exhale forcefully, while making a loud HA sound from deep in your belly. Breathe normally, and then repeat up to seven times. While none of these deep breathing exercises can completely make the stress of divorce go away, some can relieve some acute anxiety. If you are feeling panicky, or your mind is racing you can try these. The benefit of deep breathing is that it forces you to concentrate on something other than your thoughts for a moment. Deep breathing exercises can also help you fall asleep at night if you are having trouble with this. Try 4-7-8 breathing anytime you need to take a few moments to yourself to get your thoughts together. You can also try alternate nostril breathing to calm down. Progressive relaxation can help relax your entire body. And finally, Lion’s Breath can help you relieve some pent-up anxiety. Hopefully, you can use some of these techniques to help you relieve some of the stress from your divorce.

How to Help a Foster Child Adjust

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
It can be difficult to know how best to help a foster child adjust to a new living situation. They might be in a bit of shock at suddenly living in a new place. Or they might be hesitant to open up to you. However, you can set yourself up for success by remembering to be as flexible as you can be. Have things ready in advance before they get to their new home so that you aren’t scrambling to find the basics. Keep the lines of communication open, but let them have their space if they need it. Be flexible and manage your expectations. And finally, be their parent, not their friend. Hopefully, you can form an amazing bond with your foster child that will enrich their lives forever.

How to Help a Foster Child Adjust to a New Family

Have Things Ready

The first thing to do to help a foster child adjust to a new family is to have all the basics ready in advance. While the foster agency will do a home check to make sure you have the essentials like a bed, it’s also nice to prep with a few other things. Have age-appropriate snacks and treats, pajamas, clothing in the correct size, and some toys ready for when they arrive. That way you won’t be scrambling to find the basics when they get there.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Another thing you can do to help a foster child adjust is to keep the lines of communication open. Older children might want some space and time alone to adjust to their new surroundings. Even if this is the case, make it clear that you’re available if they need to talk about anything. Give them some space, but check-in enough to make sure they know that you are taking care of them.

Be Flexible

It can help a foster child adjust to a new environment if foster parents are flexible. Each child is very different with very different needs. Try to erase your expectations or past experiences and be open to a fresh start with every child you foster. What worked for one child may not work for another. Reset your expectations and understand that some children come into the system with emotional baggage that can make them react to things in unexpected ways. Try to meet every kid at their level and their own needs.

Be Their Parent, Not Their Friend

Finally, one last thing that can help a foster child adjust to a new living situation is if you make it clear that you are their parent, and not their friend. Of course, you want them to trust you and come to you with problems. But you can do this while still maintaining authority. Make it clear that you have their best interests at heart and that you care deeply about them. But also make it clear that they have to be respectful of you and your family’s rules. It can be hard to know exactly how to help a foster child adjust to a new living environment. So much has probably changed for them that they might feel overwhelmed. You might be given very little notice and feel a little overwhelmed. This is why it’s important to keep some things on hand, like snacks, a few clothing sizes, and some toys for various ages. Open the lines of communication with them, but give them space if they need it. Just make sure to check in periodically. Be flexible and manage your expectations. Remember that everybody’s journey in the foster program is very different. And finally, make sure that you are an authority figure. Often the structure of a parent figure is exactly what can be the most beneficial to many children in the foster care system. Hopefully, you and your foster child can build a beautiful relationship together and you can be a real source of comfort for them in a time that might otherwise be very stressful.

Amicable Divorce: Is it Really Possible?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

An amicable divorce might seem like a fantasy, but it is quite possible. However, it does require some effort between you and your ex. It’s easy to get lost in the bitterness when you are going through a breakup and especially when you are negotiating assets. Things can quickly spiral out of control and into a place where you and your ex are very antagonistic. However, if you both commit fully to remaining amicable, it can go a long way. Never trash talk your ex, especially on social media. Try your best to not force your mutual friends to feel like they need to pick sides in your divorce. And finally, try to focus on putting your children. You and your ex will be co-parents forever, so you need to have an amicable relationship. Hopefully, you and your ex can work together to make your divorce a happy one.

Amicable Divorce: Is it Really Possible to Be Friendly with Your Ex?

Both Commit

One way to make an amicable divorce more possible is if you and your ex both commit fully to it. You will each need to practice self-control to accomplish this. It’s easy to lash out when you are negotiating your settlement because things seem very personal. Try to always take some time to calm down before responding if you are feeling heated. A therapist can also be a great help with trying to keep things friendly during a divorce.

No Trash Talking

Another major help when trying to maintain an amicable divorce is to avoid trash talking. Trash talking can only hurt your ex and doesn’t serve any purpose. While it can feel good at the moment to vent your frustration, if you aren’t careful, it can come back to bite you. Always avoid trash-talking on social media. It can also hurt your custody battle because it shows a judge that you aren’t prioritizing your co-parenting relationship.

Don’t Make Friends Pick Sides

An amicable divorce is more possible if your mutual friends don’t feel like they need to pick sides. This typically goes hand in hand with trash talking. Often, when you vent to friends they feel the need to agree and join in the bashing of your ex. However, this can create complicated feelings for them if they are still friends. It’s better to tell mutual friends that you are working on an amicable divorce and don’t want to lose any of them.

Put Children First

Finally, one last thing to keep in mind when working towards an amicable divorce is your co-parenting relationship. If you and your ex have children together, then you’ll be in each other’s lives forever. It’s important to remain friendly for the sake of your children. Fighting or trash-talking in front of your children can confuse them and hurt them. Being friendly with your ex will allow you to both be involved healthily in your children’s lives.

An amicable divorce is possible if you and your ex both are committed to it. It’s easy to get lost in antagonistic feelings in the heat of divorce negotiations. You’ll both need to work hard to maintain friendliness throughout the process. A therapist can give you helpful tools for negotiating in a friendly and productive way. Avoid trash talking at all costs because it can only hurt you and your ex. Another important thing to remember is to try to avoid making your friends feel like they need to pick sides in your divorce. And finally, make sure that you put your children first and keep the goal of a healthy co-parenting relationship at the forefront of your mind. Hopefully, you and your ex can get through the stress of divorce and be able to come out on the other side with a friendship still intact.

The Five Stages of Grief After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
There are five stages of grief after a divorce. These are the same stages that we often associate with losing a loved one, but they can really apply to any traumatic event. A job loss, sudden break-up, divorce, bad news, or an accident can all result in the same stages of grief. These are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Many people experience these emotions in this order, but that is not always the case. You might move past one stage and think you’re on to the next and suddenly go back a few stages. Grief is a long and difficult process and it is different for everybody. The only thing that can really help is time. Hopefully, you’ll be able to accept your divorce and see it as a fresh start before too long.

The Five Stages of Grief After a Divorce: Going Through the Process

Denial

The first of the stages of grief after a divorce is denial. This is when you are still in shock that the divorce is actually a reality. You might find yourself saying that it feels like a bad dream you need to wake up from. This is our brain’s way of giving you some extra time to process.

Anger

Anger is the next stage in the five stages of grief after a divorce. You might begin to feel overwhelming anger at your spouse for many of your problems. This is a very normal part of the process and can last a long time. However, it’s important to avoid trash-talking no matter how mad you are.

Bargaining

The next step in the five stages of grief after a divorce is bargaining. This is a stage where you might start reconsidering your decision to get divorced. Maybe things weren’t that bad. Even if the divorce was over something serious like infidelity, you might question yourself.

Depression

Depression follows bargaining in the stages of grief after a divorce. This is when the reality of your divorce has finally set in. You might be just now confronting what your future will look like when you’re single. This is a time when many go through depressive stages. Reach out to a supportive friend or find a therapist to help you deal with the depression stage, which can last a while.

Acceptance

Finally, the last of the stages of grief after a divorce is acceptance. This is where you begin to move on from the stress of the divorce. You might begin realizing that there are positives to come out of your situation. Hopefully, you are ready to embrace your new identity and will even feel excited about the next chapter of your life. The five stages of grief after a divorce can take a long time to get through. And each person reacts differently to a shock to their system like a divorce. For some, they might stay in one stage longer than others. Each person has to take their own time and handle things in their own way. Likely, you’ll experience denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance. You might ping back and forth between different stages. Or you might think that you’re past a stage and then suddenly find yourself right back in the middle of it. All of these reactions are perfectly normal and healthy. In time, you’ll find acceptance for your new situation. Hopefully, then you’ll be able to find excitement at the prospect of your new life and see the divorce as a chance to get a fresh start.

The Logistics of Divorce: The Details

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
When we think of divorce we often forget about the logistics of divorce. The tiny details have to be figured out for a divorce to become final. For example, you’ll need to decide when and how to tell people about your split. You’ll also need to figure out when and how to move out. Changing your name can be a lengthy process as well. And finally, you’ll need to work out your custody agreement and parenting plan. When thinking about the divorce process, on the whole, it’s easy to forget these smaller logistical details.

The Logistics of Divorce: The Details that Need to be Hammered Out

When to Tell People

One part of the logistics of divorce is figuring out how to tell people about the divorce. It’s really best to keep your divorce as private as you can until it’s final. However, there are some people that you’ll probably want to tell ahead of time. For example, your parents or close family members. You should also let any close friends know that you’ll need support so that they can help you through the process. And finally, you should give your boss or HR rep a heads up in case you’ll be needing to miss work for court appearances and meetings.

When to Move Out

Another piece of the logistics of divorce is deciding when and how to move out. You can decide at any point when the time is right to have your partner move out. But you’ll have to figure out which of you will be leaving and how you’ll be handling the finances of mortgage payments. You’ll also need to figure out if your children will be spending time at both houses.

Changing Your Name

Another piece to consider when thinking of the logistics of divorce is changing your name. This process can be lengthy and complicated. You’ll need to wait until your divorce is final before trying to change your name back. But once it is, you can start at the social security office. Once you have your new social security card you can begin to change your name with other entities. You’ll need to update the post office, credit cards, bill payments, and others. You’ll also need to apply for a new passport and driver’s license with your new name.

Custody Agreements

Finally, one final piece of the logistics of divorce is deciding custody. You’ll most likely cover this in your divorce court meetings, but have an idea of what you’d like to get out of it. Consider things like what your ideal schedule will look like and how you’ll handle holidays. Also consider major parenting decisions like how you want your children brought up, what religion, how they’ll be disciplined, who they spend time with, curfews, diet, etc. Make a plan for how you’d like to financially prepare for schooling and child-care-related expenses. Most of this will be decided on in court, but it’s a good idea to have some plan for what your goals are. Divorce can be overwhelming and emotional. And often we forget about the smaller logistics of divorce amongst the more pressing matters. But the details are important too. You’ll need to decide when and how you’ll tell everybody about the news of you splitting up. You’ll also have to figure out what your and your ex’s new living arrangements will be. Don’t forget about changing your name. And finally, you’ll need to decide custody agreements and put a parenting plan in place if you plan on having joint custody. They say the devil is in the details, but hopefully, you’ll be able to prepare for these logistical details of divorce and make the process smoother.