How to Ease Back Into Dating After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Going through a divorce is emotional and stressful. For a long time, you may not be ready to even think about dating again. But when you do decide to get back out there, these tips can help. When you ease back into dating after a divorce, it’s important to remember to take your time. You’ll also want to get out and meet people and be upfront about being a divorcee. Getting back into the dating world can be scary at first, but hopefully, you’ll find your perfect partner!

Ease Back into Dating After a Divorce – Trust Yourself

Take It Slow

Taking it slow is the most important step when you want to ease back into dating after a divorce. This means taking it slow when deciding to start dating. It also means taking it slow with new partners, as well as taking it slow when telling your family that you’re dating again. Before you get back into the dating world, it’s important that you build your confidence back up. Going through a divorce can cause so much mental stress, so it’s important to make sure that you’re in a healthy headspace before bringing somebody new into your life. When you ease back into dating after a divorce, you need to do just that – ease. Take it slow with new dates. Don’t try to rush a relationship into something serious too quickly. Just have fun and enjoy yourself for a while. Your feelings about your ex can change a lot over the course of dating someone new. You might feel nostalgic about your early dates, or get overwhelmed at how much there is to learn about a new person. Try not to get ahead of yourself, and just enjoy the relationship as it grows. Also remember to take it slow when introducing new dates to your family, especially your kids. They probably don’t need to meet every single person you go on a date with. But if things start to feel serious, it’s best to sit them down and let them meet your date.

Get Out There

The best thing you can do when you want to ease back into dating after a divorce is to just get out there and meet people. Online dating is always an option too. But don’t neglect old fashioned meet and greets. Switch up your routine and go to a new coffee shop or gym. Or join a local meetup or sports group. Try and introduce yourself to as many new people as you can when you’re out and about. And don’t forget to ask your friends if they know any available singles! It’s best to be upfront about your breakup when you ease back into dating after a divorce. You can keep it short and simple. For example, “my ex-husband and I are divorced. I wish him well but we just weren’t right for each other.” You don’t have to go into more detail than you’re comfortable with. And try not to trash talk your ex either. You don’t want to give the wrong impression to your new date. There’s no reason to be embarrassed about your status as a divorcee, and talking about your ex in a calm way will show your new date that you’re mature and comfortable with the situation. Deciding to ease back into dating after a divorce is a big decision. Really take time to figure out if you’re ready for it or not. Remember to take it slow when starting to look for dates, as well as with any new partners. Get out there and meet new people, and be upfront about your divorce. Always trust your instincts, and don’t forget that if things don’t feel right, it’s alright to give yourself more time. And of course, have fun!

How to Help a Friend Through a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

The stress of divorce has been compared to the stress of a family member dying. Watching a friend go through that kind of pain can make you feel helpless. But there are many ways that you can help a friend through a divorce. Including them in everyday activities, being a good listener, and lending a helping hand will show them how much you care about them.

How to Help a Friend Through a Divorce: Be Their Rock

Be a Good Listener

Listening is the most important thing you can do to help a friend through a divorce. Try to remember that you should listen more than you speak. You can offer words of comfort, but try not to monopolize the conversation. If they get emotional, don’t try to force them to speak. Just quietly let them express their feelings. Also, try not to join in on any bashing of their ex-partner. Their feelings will probably change from day-to-day. If you join in on the bashing one day, they may not feel comfortable opening up to you when they are feeling more forgiving another day. Also, if they work things out in the future you’ll never be able to take back the words you said.

Include them in Everyday Activities

Including them in everyday activities is one way to help a friend through a divorce. They might be missing the normalcy of their old life. Therefore, including them in minor activities can make them feel better. For example, taking the kids to soccer practice or inviting them to weeknight dinner at your house. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just a sample of everyday life. But don’t forget the important holidays too! Even if they turn down your invitations, keep inviting them out. They may not have the energy to join in right now, but they’ll appreciate being included all the same.

Lend a Helping Hand

You can really help a friend through a divorce by lending a helping hand. Running a household is difficult, and they are now doing it alone. You can pitch in with chores or running errands. You can also offer to help with childcare! If they are moving because of the divorce, you can help them pack. And don’t forget that divorce comes with a mountain of paperwork. They will probably need your help organizing it and figuring out everything. You can gather information and help them to know what to expect. Even just dropping off a meal can make you a real lifesaver! Your friend is going through so much, anywhere you can help out will help them immensely.

There are many ways to help a friend through a divorce. Being a good listener, including them in things, and lending a helping hand are all great ways to show your support. They are under so much stress and will surely appreciate all you do.

My Husband Cheated On Me: Now What?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If your husband cheated on you, you might be feeling absolutely lost on how to move forward. An affair can cause a lot of pain, resentment, and anger. Some couples choose to end their marriage, while others decide to move forward. How you proceed is up to you. But the first thing to do is ensure your own safety with a health checkup. Then, it might be helpful to try to get to the bottom of exactly what happened. Decide how you’re feeling about things and what you would like to do. Then, you can discuss options with your partner and move forward together one way or another. Hopefully, you’ll be able to come to a decision that you both agree on and you can heal from the pain of adultery.

My Husband Cheated On Me: Now What? Deciding How to Move Forward

Safety First

If your husband cheated on you, the first step to take is to protect your own health. You don’t know for sure if the person he slept with is healthy. Or whether or not they had unprotected sex. Make an appointment with your doctor for an STD and HIV screening. While nobody likes to think about these possibilities, your health comes first.

Get the Whole Truth

Now that you are taking care of your safety, it’s time to get to the bottom of exactly what happened. Try to find out if it was a one-time thing or a full-fledged affair. Be firm about what the consequences are if he lies again to you by not giving you the full story. Try to get to the bottom of why your husband cheated in the first place.

Decide How You Feel

If your husband cheated on you, it’s normal to feel a whole range of emotions. You don’t have to give him an answer about the future right away. Instead, take some time to process your feelings and decide how you want to move forward. Do you think you’d be able to trust him again? Or do you want to end things? You don’t know what course of action he’ll want to take. But figuring out how you’d like to proceed can at least give you a starting point.

Moving Forward

Once you know how you want to proceed, discuss it with your husband. Hopefully you’ll be on the same page, but you might not be. Sometimes affairs happen because there are deep-seated issues in a marriage. Or maybe your husband cheated because it seemed the marriage was ending naturally anyway. None of these are excuses, but they can help you decide how to move forward. If you both want to end the marriage, hopefully you can proceed with a healthy divorce. If you both are wanting to work on things, marriage counseling can be very helpful. If your husband cheated on you, it can create a loss of trust and a lot of pain. Affairs hurt everybody involved, and can leave lasting scars that you carry into future relationships. Give yourself some time to process your feelings before deciding how you want to move forward. However, prioritize your health by getting checked out by your doctor. Then, try to get to the bottom of the story. After you know the details, you can decide how you’d like to move forward and then discuss it with your partner. Hopefully you’ll be on the same page one way or the other. If you want to work things out, you’ll both have to recommit to your relationship. If you want to break up, the best thing you can do is hire an experienced attorney as soon as possible to make your divorce as quick and painless as possible.

Divorce Gets Easier, Right?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you are in the throes of the divorce process, you might be wondering if divorce gets easier. It can be hard to see the finish line when you’re dealing with a contentious ex, tons of paperwork, and legal fees. However, the good news is that divorce does get easier as time goes by and you begin to adjust to your new life. You’ll also get better and better at co-parenting as time goes on and you and your ex get used to this new relationship. You might even find that you can become more comfortable being around each other. However, it’s important to take the time you need to process the divorce. And if you are struggling with anxiety or depression, speak up and reach out to get the support you need. Divorce is hard on everybody, but there is an end in sight.

Divorce Gets Easier, Right? Easing Your Anxiety

Getting Through the Actual Process

Divorce gets easier when you are finally through the tedious process itself. The actual process of divorce is exhausting. Splitting up assets, deciding custody, asking for support payments. All of it is typically fraught with emotion and highly contentious. Plus, it’s expensive. When your divorce is final, you should begin to feel less stress. Keep your eyes on that goal.

Learning a New Way of Life

While your divorce gets easier, transitioning to your new post-divorce way of life can also be a big adjustment. You’ll probably be facing a different housing situation, different daily routine, and different financial situation. Plus, you’re probably missing your ex at times, feeling angry at other times, and everything in between. As time goes on, you’ll get used to this new life until it feels like your new normal.

Learning to Co-Parent

Time can also heal some wounds between exes. If you have children, figuring out custody can have a steep learning curve. Anything involving your children probably comes with some heightened emotions. Divorce gets easier when you and your ex can learn to co-parent healthily. Try to put aside your bitter feelings and focus on working together for the sake of your kids.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that yes, divorce gets easier. However, that doesn’t mean that you won’t have to put in some work. Take the time you need to process your feelings about the break-up. Talk to a therapist or close friend about how you’re feeling about things. And practice healthy habits like getting plenty of sleep and maintaining a social life. If you are struggling to move on, reach out to your doctor or therapist for support. Divorce is an overwhelmingly emotional experience, and you don’t have to go through it alone. While it might feel like a never-ending process, divorce gets easier with time. The stress and anxiety will ease and you’ll begin to move forward into the next chapter of life. But it can feel very overwhelming when you’re going through it. Try to remind yourself that there is an end in sight, and remember that the process itself won’t last forever. You’ll adjust to your new way of life, and hopefully, you’ll also learn to interact with your ex without tension. This will ease your co-parenting relationship if you share children. All in all, divorce does get easier, but it takes time. And it takes some healing and self-care on your part. Reach out to a friend, family member, doctor, or therapist if you find that you are overwhelmed by the divorce process, or are struggling to move on.

Household Transitions: Post-Divorce Adjustments

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Having to adapt to two different households can be tough for your kids after your divorce. As a result, it’s important to try and make those household transitions easier for your children. After all, this is completely new to every one of you. Taking time and consideration will help them a lot with going in-between you and your ex’s homes…

Household Transitions: Make Them Easier

Go over your schedule

You won’t want your kids to be caught off guard by a household transition. Not knowing when they’ll need to go from one home to the other can be a source of great anxiety for them. Rather, it’s best you talk to them ahead of time about the schedule you and your co-parent are working on.

Doing this will help your kids better prepare for making these transitions. Plus, it’s very easy to help them keep track, especially when you’re first starting out. A simple calendar can be all they need to easily keep track of when they’re going to make the switch to the other household.

 Avoid making them keep a bag

It’s pretty natural for us to pack a bag when we’re making a trip. In this context, however, it’s probably best that you make it so your kids won’t need to do so. Having them pack a bag of their stuff each time they go between homes can make these household transitions a lot harder on them.

Basically, this causes their homes to not really feel like a home. Rather, they’ll constantly feel like they have one foot out the door. It can also be stressful if they forget something at another house. Instead, you should both make it so there’s very little your kids will need when they go from one house to the other.

Avoid changeover conflict

For parents, the tricky part of household transitions can be having to be together again. Depending on your co-parenting relationship, these meetups can be potential points of contention for the both of you. This is especially true if there was something related to the kids that you recently disagreed on.

Still, you want to avoid any conflict during these transitions. Not only will it be bad for your co-parenting goals, but it’ll also be bad for the kids as well. Save those types of conversations for another time so your kids won’t be caught up in the blow back.

Meeting People After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Meeting people after a divorce can feel a little intimidating, whether you’re looking to make some new friends or potentially meet a new partner. Divorce can be isolating, as can a dysfunctional marriage. Many people, go through the divorce proceeding and then realize they are lonely when all of it is over. Be patient with yourself and remember to take plenty of time before moving on to a new partner. A divorce support group is a great way to make friends with others who have been through similar circumstances. You might also meet somebody new if you expand your horizons and try some new hobbies. Finally, don’t underestimate the power of a friendly attitude. Hopefully, you can surround yourself with supportive friends and maybe even think about dating again.

Meeting People After Divorce: Getting Back Out There

Be Patient

Meeting people after a divorce can take some time. You might struggle to maintain friendships with couples that you knew when you were married. Or you might have lost touch with old friends over the years. It’s never too late to reach out to past acquaintances. But if you’re looking to meet some new people, give yourself time. If you’re considering dating again, make sure that you’ve taken plenty of time to process your feelings and heal from the divorce.

Divorce Support Group

A divorce support group can help meet people after a divorce. There are various kinds of support groups, and you might need to shop around to find the best fit for you. Some groups meet to talk through their experiences, and groups meet to go on group hikes. And everything in between! Explore local groups and see if anything clicks for you.

Try a New Hobby

Trying a new hobby is another great way of meeting people after a divorce. Immerse yourself in something new and exciting. Now is the time to focus on your own needs, so explore something that you’ve always wanted to do. Improving at a new skill like salsa dancing or painting will also give you a self-confidence boost.

Be Open and Friendly

Finally, sometimes meeting people after divorce is all about just having an open and friendly attitude. Be kind to people when you’re out and about. Say hello to strangers, or strike up a conversation while you wait for your coffee order. Say yes to invitations from friends, even if you worry you might not know many people at the event. You never know where you might meet your next special someone. Going through the process of divorce can be very isolating and draining for many people. It can be stressful too and keeps you busy all the time. Often, this means that friendships take a back seat. Plus, if your social group mainly consists of couples, it can be difficult to feel connected. Meeting people after divorce that you have more in common with can be helpful, especially if you’re curious about getting back into the dating world. Consider divorce support groups and meetup groups if you’re looking to connect with other divorcees. Additionally, now is a great time to delve into a new hobby and take some classes. Finally, have a friendly and approachable attitude when you’re out and about, and try to say yes to social invitations whenever possible. Hopefully, by being brave and putting yourself out there, you’ll meet some great friends and make some lasting connections.

Talking to Your Children About Separation

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Talking to your children about separation and divorce can be an incredibly painful conversation. For many couples, the fear of discussions like this forces them to stay married far longer than is healthy. The truth is, your children will be happier with parents that can peacefully co-parent than with parents that continue to live together with a toxic relationship. Present a united front and try to talk to them as a team. Choose age-appropriate resources to help you with explaining what’s happening. Reassure them that they’ll get used to these changes quickly and that you love them just the same as always. And finally, give them space to react and ask questions or voice concerns. While it can be difficult to have the conversation, hopefully, it will clear the path for honest communication about the transition they’re facing.

Talking to Your Children About Separation: Reassuring Them

Present a United Front

If you and your spouse are talking to your children about separation, it’s very helpful to present a united front. Sit down with them together and explain the situation without using harmful or blaming language. Don’t air all of your dirty laundries, but instead use simple and easy-to-understand terms. Even when you are apart, don’t trash talk one another in front of your children as it can create confusion and anxiety for them.

Choose Age-Appropriate Resources

Another thing that can be helpful when talking to your children about separation is to use age-appropriate resources. For younger children, there might be picture books or tv shows that focus on the concept of divorce and separation. For older children, they might appreciate having a peer counselor or therapist to speak to about their feelings.

Reassure Them

No matter what, be reassuring when talking to your children about separation. Children often take on a lot of the blame for parents splitting up. So make sure they understand that this was your choice and that you both love them just the same. Even older children can use a little extra reassurance during this transitional period. Additionally, let them know that you’ll all get used to these changes quickly and their lives will feel completely normal soon enough.

Let Them Ask Questions

Finally, after talking to your children about separation, give them plenty of space to process their emotions. They might react with anger, hurt, anxiety, or several other emotions. Give them space to ask any questions they need or voice any concerns. Older children might benefit from having a non-parent adult to talk to. And younger children might show signs of regression like issues with potty training or sleep. All of these reactions are normal, and your children will hopefully adjust quickly. Talking to your children about separation can be difficult, but it’s important to let them know what to expect in the coming weeks and months. Especially if you and your spouse are moving forward with a divorce. Talk to them as a team if you can, and avoid bashing each other or blaming one another in front of them. Use age-appropriate books and resources to help them understand. Be extra reassuring during this transitional stage, even with older children. And finally, give them plenty of time and space to process their reaction to the situation. Hopefully, you’ll all adjust quickly and move forward into the next chapter of your lives with peaceful co-parenting as a goal.

Fighting Loneliness After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Fighting loneliness after divorce can be tough. You have likely been living with another person for many years, and it can be quite hard to suddenly learn to live alone. However, know that you will quickly get used to your new situation. It can help to reconnect with old friends that you’ve lost touch with. You can also make new friends by joining a local meet-up group or getting back out into the dating world. It helps to stay busy with hobbies and interests. And finally, adopting a pet is always a great way to fight loneliness. Divorce is stressful and difficult, but for many, adapting to their new way of life is just as hard. Hopefully, you will be able to adjust quickly and find some ways to fill your time and help battle loneliness.

Fighting Loneliness After Divorce: Adjusting to Your New Normal

Reconnect with Old Friends

Fighting loneliness after divorce can start with reconnecting with old friends. The divorce process is stressful and complicated. It can often take up tons of your time. So it’s possible that you haven’t had time for friends lately. Now is a great time to reach out and try to re-connect. Invite them out for a quick bite or a cup of coffee to catch up.

Join a Local Meet-Up Group or Dating Website

Another way of fighting loneliness after divorce is to join a local meet-up group. There are groups for many different hobbies and interests. There are also groups specifically for divorcees. And of course, if you are comfortable and feel ready, you can always re-join the dating pool. It can be scary at first, but if you take your time and take things slow, you might connect with somebody amazing.

Stay Busy

Fighting loneliness after divorce is easiest if you stay busy. Boredom always increases feelings of loneliness. Try to focus on a new hobby or interest. Or reconnect with an old passion. You can take classes, explore museums, or even do virtual tours. Taking up a new hobby is also a great way to meet new people who share the same interests as you.

Adopt a Pet

Finally, one final and fun way of fighting loneliness after divorce is to adopt a pet. There are many needy animals out there just looking to be adopted by a loving parent like you. Just make sure that you have the time and energy to dedicate to a pet. Consider rescuing a pet from a local rescue group, shelter, or foster service instead of going to a breeder. Fighting loneliness after divorce can be hard. It’s difficult when you’ve lived with another person for many years to suddenly adjust to single life. Even just learning to cook for one can be an adjustment. However, you can fight the loneliness by making time to reconnect with old friends. Or you can take up a new hobby. This is also a great way to meet somebody new to date or some new friends. There are plenty of meetup groups available to fit any interest. If you feel ready, try online dating, or asking a friend to set you up on a date. And finally, adopting a pet can be a great way to get a loving buddy for many years. Hopefully, you’ll adjust to your new normal quickly and find happiness.

Divorce Transition for Babies

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
While we often think about the difficulties of divorce in older children, the divorce transition for babies can also be tough. Even infants can sense when parents are anxious, so they might pick up on divorce stress. To prevent any sort of disruptions, focus on quality time with your children when you are around them. Try to keep your schedules across your and your ex’s houses the same. And finally, now is the time to work on perfecting the art of co-parenting. Divorce is tough on everybody, and that includes very young children as well. Make things as smooth as possible for everyone by focusing on quality time together and peaceful co-parenting.

Divorce Transition for Babies: Smoothing Things Out

Do Babies Understand Divorce?

While the divorce transition for babies is very different than for older children, infants still do have stress during a divorce. Even young babies who have no idea what divorce is can pick up on stress in their parents and older siblings. Especially if their parents are fighting with one another in front of them. So try to limit your arguments with your ex in front of children, even infants.

Focus on Quality Time

Focusing on quality time can help with the divorce transition for babies. You and your ex might be switching childcare, or having your child go back and forth between your houses. If that’s the case, really focus on keeping your time together sacred. Set aside the phone and pay attention to your child and their needs. Play with them and make the moments that you do have together extra special.

Keep Schedules Consistent

Babies thrive on consistency, so to ease the divorce transition for babies, keep your schedules the same across your houses. You and your ex should follow similar times for napping, sleeping, feeding, and play times. The more consistent you can be, the easier the transitional period will be for your child.

Perfect Your Co-Parenting

The absolute best thing that parents can do for children of any age is to get great at co-parenting. Coordinating custody schedules, sharing responsibilities, splitting holidays, and getting along with your ex are all skills that take time to perfect. While babies might be more difficult on your sleep schedule, they have relatively few obligations. Unlike older children who have extra-curricular and sports schedules to maintain. Use this time to perfect your co-parenting skills so that it’ll be a breeze to handle when your child’s schedule gets more complicated. The divorce transition for babies is not as difficult as for older children, but it’s still important to be mindful of your infant’s needs at this time. While babies certainly don’t understand what a divorce means, they do pick up on tension and stress when parents argue in front of them. Try to limit any fights to when you and your ex are in private. Additionally, keep your schedules as consistent as possible between your houses. Focus on making the time you have with your infant quality time. And finally, work on perfecting your co-parenting skills now so that you can handle more complicated schedules and childcare needs in the future. Hopefully, you and your ex can make this transitional period easier for everybody.

Becoming a Single Parent After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Becoming a single parent after a divorce can seem impossible and overwhelming. Dealing with children of any age can be taxing, and going alone can be daunting. However, many times, children are better off with parents who peacefully co-parent than they are living with parents who are forcing them to stay in an unhappy marriage. If you have decided to divorce, the first thing to do is to re-examine your budget. Figure out what you can outsource to others, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Accept that you’ll need to let some things go, but remember that your children will be just fine. Especially if you focus on prioritizing your mental health, as well as theirs. Hopefully, you can figure out this new single-parent lifestyle quickly.

Becoming a Single Parent After Divorce: How Do I Survive?

Look at the Budget

Becoming a single parent after divorce might mean a big change to your finances. Suddenly, you’re dealing with one income instead of two, plus you might be figuring out things like support payments. Sitting down to re-examine your budget is a great way to get a feel for whether or not you need to make some changes to your lifestyle.

Get Help

Another thing that budgeting can help you figure out is what tasks you can afford to outsource. Becoming a single parent after divorce means that suddenly you are also the sole manager of the household. If you can afford to hire out things like child care, lawn care, laundry, and cleaning, it might help you stay in control of your schedule. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends or family, especially while you are adjusting to this new lifestyle.

Let Some Things Go

It’s important to remember that you’ll need to let some things go when becoming a single parent after divorce. You can’t be everywhere at once and still stay focused. So try to pick and choose the things that are important to you. For example, maybe you care very much about coaching your child’s basketball team, but you don’t have time to volunteer at school lunches. Or perhaps delegating a task at work to another employee gets you home in time to take your children to a playground in the evening.

Prioritize

Focusing on the really important things should also include self-care. Sacrificing your time will eventually leave you feeling exhausted and at a breaking point. You can’t be the parent that you want to be if your tank is empty. So prioritize some self-care each week and give yourself some grace. Remember that all your children need in life is your love, acceptance, and your support. It’s okay to let some extracurricular activities go if it means giving your best self to your children and focusing on their happiness. Becoming a single parent after divorce can feel daunting, and it is one of the reasons why many couples choose to stay together, even if they are unhappy. However, parenting alone is a transition just like any other, and one that you can get used to if you give yourself some time and patience. Look over your budget now that the divorce is final, and decide if there are tasks that you can afford to hire out to others. If friends or family offer help, take them up on it. And remember that it’s okay to let some things go. Prioritize your happiness and your children’s happiness, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Hopefully, you and your children can adjust quickly to this new change in your life.