Managing Unsupportive Family During Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Dealing with unsupportive family during divorce can be frustrating. A divorce is one of the most stressful things a person can go through. But unfortunately for many, their family isn’t as supportive as they would hope. It might be that family members don’t approve of the concept of divorce. Or it could be that they simply don’t know the intimate details of your relationship and why it didn’t work out. You can try to convince them if you want, but ultimately, it’s not your issue. It’s theirs. You might just need to accept that they won’t be emotionally supportive and ask for their help in other ways. Then, you can find your own support system. Hopefully, you can get the encouragement and peace of mind from friends or support groups to help you get through this difficult period.

Managing Unsupportive Family During Divorce: Finding Your Support Network

Try to Find Out Why

If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, there might be several reasons why. It could be that they just disagree with the notion of divorce at all. Or it could just be that they don’t know what went on in your relationship. It’s not really your job to explain the intimate details of your life to everybody. However, if you are wanting them to better understand the situation, you can share what you feel comfortable with.

Accept That It’s Not Your Issue

Whether you’ve shared the details of why you’re divorcing or not, the fact of the matter is that this is a decision that is yours alone to make. If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, you might just have to accept that they aren’t going to change their attitudes. It’s not your issue, it’s theirs. You have to respect your own emotional boundaries. And it’s not your job to convince anybody.

Ask Them to Help Where They Can

Unsupportive family during divorce can be hurtful and painful to deal with. You probably won’t get the emotional support or sympathy that you need from them. However, you can ask that they still help you in other ways. For example, if you need financial assistance, housing assistance, or help with childcare. Just know that you’ll need to find your emotional support elsewhere.

Find Your Own Network

If family isn’t being helpful, you can build your own support network. Often, friends are more helpful during divorce than family anyway. They often know more details of your relationship and why you chose to end the marriage. You can also try local support groups to find other people who are experiencing similar emotions. If you are struggling, speak with a therapist.

If you’re dealing with unsupportive family during divorce, it can really affect your trust. You expect your family to support you no matter what. However, it’s not uncommon for people going through divorce to have to turn elsewhere for emotional support. Whether it’s a moral issue with divorce itself or they simply don’t know the story, it’s not up to you to convince them. Instead, ask for help where you can but know that you’ll need to find a sympathetic ear elsewhere. Built a support network around yourself through friends or support groups. Hopefully, they’ll be able to give you all the help you need to get through this difficult chapter and begin looking forward to the next.

Giving Yourself Permission for a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Sometimes, giving yourself permission for a divorce is harder than you might think. We often feel pressure to stay in relationships that don’t work out just for the sake of appearances. But letting go of your preconceived notions and allowing yourself the freedom to make the decision is important. It’s okay to listen to the input of others, but ultimately, the decision needs to be yours alone. Furthermore, if you have family members that are not supportive, you’ll need to establish some healthy boundaries. While it can be intimidating, there are many positives on the other side of divorce. For example, you are getting out of a negative relationship, freeing yourself up to focus on your own priorities, and getting to strike out on a new path that will hopefully make you happier.

Giving Yourself Permission for a Divorce: Letting Go of Preconceived Notions

Why It’s Difficult

Giving yourself permission for a divorce can be more difficult than you might think because we often have so many preconceived notions of what marriage should look like. There is societal pressure to make your relationship work out. While the stigma of divorce is lessening, you still might face awkward questions from friends and family. Sometimes, letting go of the future that you imagined for yourself can be incredibly hard, even if things aren’t working well. So sometimes, giving yourself that freedom to pursue a divorce is the hardest step of the whole process.

Making The Decision Yours Alone

Your friends and family will likely have some strong ideas about your marriage, but giving yourself permission for a divorce is your decision alone. Try not to let others influence you, because they don’t really know the ins and outs of your relationship. Nobody knows what’s going on behind closed doors. If you are considering pursuing a divorce, you need to sit down and weigh your options without input from others first.

Fighting Stigma

You might also face some stigma or judgement from friends and family members. Especially older family members that might be from a generation where divorce was not common. Again though, your decisions are yours to make. If your friends or family are not respecting your decision, then you’ll need to set some boundaries with them. For example, “I don’t want to discuss the divorce with you at this time. If you can’t be respectful of that decision, then we need to take some time apart.”

The Positives

While giving yourself permission for a divorce can feel scary, there are actually a lot of positives to making the decision. You are prioritizing your happiness, and you can now focus on the things that you want to focus on. For example, now is the time to pursue hobbies or friendships that you have neglected. It’s also a great time to really work on your self-confidence and self-care. Furthermore, if you have children, you are showing that it’s okay to step away from a relationship if it isn’t the right fit. Getting through the formality of the divorce is a long process, but on the other side of it, you will hopefully feel relief and at peace with your decision.

Considering divorce is a big deal, and it’s something that can weigh heavily on you. If you are waffling back and forth, sometimes, giving yourself permission for a divorce can be the hardest step to take. But once you do decide, you’ll have a clear path moving forward for what you need to do next. Let go of your preconceived notions, or any pressure you feel to keep a relationship going just for the sake of appearances. It’s hard to let go of the future that you’ve always imagined with your partner. But if your relationship isn’t bringing you happiness, that future is lost anyway. Make the decision on your own, without worrying about judgement from friends and family. If they are unsupportive of your decision, you might need to set some boundaries or even take a break from interacting with them until the dust settles. While it’s scary, the positives are that you can now follow your own path and prioritize your own needs. Plus, you can model healthy relationship-seeking for your children, and maybe even meet somebody new that is a better fit for you and can give you the future you’ve always wanted.

Where to Meet Somebody After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be scary to start thinking about how and where to meet somebody after divorce. Especially if you’ve been in a relationship for years. Dipping your toes back into the dating pool can be a little intimidating, so try to take things at your own speed. Make sure that you give yourself plenty of time to heal from your divorce before trying to get back into dating. However, when you’re ready, dating apps are a great place to start. It’s also great to ask friends if they know of anybody that might be a good match. You can always meet people out and about if you have a great attitude. And finally, meetup groups and group activities are a great way to meet new people, including new potential partners. Take your time, and try to enjoy the dating game.

Where to Meet Somebody After Divorce: Getting Back into the Dating Pool

Dating Apps

Dating apps are one of the best places to start when looking to meet somebody after divorce. There are plenty of different types of dating apps available. Some are free and some require an up-front or monthly fee. There are dating apps for divorcees specifically, as well as older adults or adults with certain interests. Just make sure to practice safe dating practices when meeting somebody new and meet in a public place. Let a friend know exactly where you are going to meet, and send them your date’s contact information. Make sure they check in on you if you do not text them that you’re safely home after the date. You can also share your location with them for added safety.

Ask a Friend

Another great way to meet somebody after divorce is to ask your friends to set you up. Ask them if they have any single friends that might be a good match. You also have the added bonus that you know a little bit about the person up front. You can also meet in a low-stakes situation, like a group hangout or backyard BBQ, rather than a blind date. Having your friends pre-vet your date can help ensure that it’s somebody safe and that you won’t face any cat-fishing type surprises when you show up for your date.

Out and About

Don’t forget about the potential to meet somebody new after divorce when you are just out and about during your day. Try to smile at people, and be outgoing and social. Start up a conversation with the cutie next to you in line at the coffee shop. Or chat about your pups with somebody you meet at the dog park. You never know where you might meet somebody new, but being friendly and outgoing is a great way to start.

Meetup Groups

Finally, meetup groups are another place to meet somebody after divorce. There are meetup groups for tons of different activities, like sports or hobbies. You could try intramural sports or an exercise class. You could also try a local art class, or take a tour of a museum. Find something that interests you, like rock climbing, and sign up to take a class or find a meetup group. It’s a great way to meet people with similar interests as well as potential partners. There are also specific meetup groups for divorcees looking to connect with new friends.

Getting back into the dating pool after divorce can feel a little scary. It’s important to make sure that you’ve given yourself plenty of time to process your divorce and emotionally heal. Don’t compare your healing journey to anybody else’s or feel pressured to move on quicker than you feel comfortable with. Once you are ready to date again, it can be hard to know where to even meet somebody after divorce. There are tons of dating apps, and even ones specifically for divorcees. You can also ask your friends to set you up with singles they know. Try to be friendly and approachable in your day to day life by smiling and being kind. And finally, try local meetup groups for hobbies or interests that you are excited about. You might make some new friends, but you also might meet somebody that you spark a connection with. You never know when you’ll meet somebody, but having an open and confident attitude is a great place to start.

What to Wear to Divorce Court: Dress for Success

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When preparing for divorce court there is so much to do. You’ll have meetings with your attorney and have tons of legal paperwork to prep. But sometimes people forget to prepare what they’re going to wear to divorce court. First impressions are important, and some judges are more conservative than others. It’s best to play it safe and dress as if you were going for a job interview. Here are some tips to help you look prepared!

What to Wear to Divorce Court: First Impressions Matter

Clothing for Men

When deciding what to wear to divorce court, business attire is best. Wear long slacks with a belt and shoes with matching socks. Also, a collared shirt with a tie should be work. You can choose to wear a jacket or not. However, it’s always a good idea to have one in case the courtroom is cold. Shorts are never allowed, and you should not wear jeans. Ditch the hat as well, and make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too baggy.

Clothing for Women

Business attire is also what women should wear to divorce court. A business suit isn’t necessary, but you should wear dress slacks or a skirt. Make sure a skirt goes to your knees or longer. A nice blouse or even a conservative dress would work well. Make sure that nothing is too low-cut or revealing. Also, make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too tight. Leave the flashy sequins at home and opt for a more neutral outfit. You could be in divorce court for a long time, so bringing a sweater or light jacket is a good idea. You don’t necessarily need to wear heels, but stay away from tennis shoes or flip flops.

Accessories

The main goal in choosing what to wear to divorce court is to keep things neutral and non-attention grabbing. Try not to wear flashy accessories. If you have a lot of piercings, it might be best to remove some while you go to court. Cover up tattoos as well. Men and women should have clean, neat hair in a polished and neutral style. Also, now is possibly not the best time for very long acrylic nails or blue hair. Finally, keep makeup subtle and unobtrusive. The more conservative you can look, the better.

Having your own sense of style is great! Flashy accessories and dyed hair might be how you express yourself. That’s perfectly fine, but in divorce court, you might be more successful if you tone down your natural flair. Everything you wear to divorce court should be modest and polished. You want to look clean, neat, and dependable. Although you may want to show off your flashy side, you’ll probably benefit in the long run by playing by the court’s rules.

Benefits of Dating a Divorcee

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Some people overlook divorcees in the dating pool. However, there are many benefits of dating a divorcee. Aside from their life experience, they know what they want in a partner. In addition, they will be unlikely to rush things in a relationship. They hopefully will be quick to recognize issues within a relationship as well. Finally, they have proved that they are committed and hopefully have learned from their first relationship. Try not to count out divorcees as potential partners.

Benefits of Dating a Divorcee: Let Their Experience Work in Your Favor

They Know What They Need in a Partner

One of the major benefits of dating a divorcee is that they have learned what they need in a partner. They know what works in a relationship and what kills a relationship. Divorcees will therefore be honest about their needs and quick to see issues. They have probably also learned their strengths and weaknesses as a partner. As a result, they will be more willing to work on their shortcomings.

They Won’t Rush Into Things

Divorcees are more likely to take things slow in a relationship. One of the important benefits of dating a divorcee is that they will be more likely to make their next relationship work longtime. They will take time to make sure their next partner is a better fit. Because they know the stress of divorce, they won’t be likely to rush into another marriage. Therefore, if they do commit, it will probably be a marriage that lasts forever.

Quick to Recognize Issues

Another of the benefits of dating a divorcee is that they’ll be able to recognize problems brewing. They will be quick to see issues that could harm your relationship. They have seen first hand how some problems can ruin a marriage. Therefore, they know how certain issues can spiral out of control. Because of this, they’ll be quick to address those problems.

They’re Committed

Finally, knowing they are willing to commit is one of the main benefits of dating a divorcee. They have proven that they are willing to commit to a marriage. Even though their first marriage didn’t work out it doesn’t mean it was all their fault. There are many reasons why marriages fail. They’ve proven that they are not afraid of commitment. And hopefully, they’ve learned some valuable lessons from their first marriage.

Dating divorcees can be a great option for somebody looking for a mature partner. One of the many benefits of dating a divorcee is the fact that they are worldly. They have experienced the highs and lows of a relationship. Because of this, they’ll be likely to take that experience into their future relationships and make those even stronger.

Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Divorce can often leave people questioning their self-esteem. Rebuilding confidence after a divorce is important so that you can begin to get back to living your best life. You can also have more confidence to grow and begin this new chapter of your life on a positive note. Try to refocus on old hobbies or passions that make you feel happy. Reconnecting with old friends can also boost your confidence. Many people find positive affirmations to be extremely helpful with boosting self-confidence. And finally, reach out and get help from a therapist if you feel like it would be helpful. Divorce can shatter your self-confidence, but it’s important to gain it back so you can focus on the exciting adventures to come.

Rebuilding Confidence After a Divorce: Get Your Groove Back

Refocus on Old Hobbies

One way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Oftentimes, divorce can be extremely time-consuming and stressful. It’s hard to make time for hobbies. Now that your divorce is final, you can try to get back to hobbies you care about. If you’re a talented painter, make time to paint. Or try to find a new hobby like yoga or meditation. Finding things you’re passionate about can really boost your self-confidence as you hone new skills.

Reconnect with Old Friends

Another way to rebuild confidence after a divorce is to reconnect with old friends. You might have lost touch with people in the stress of the divorce process. If that’s the case, take the time now to reach out to them. For example, ask a friend to dinner or for a quick coffee. They can help you process your feelings about the divorce. It’s also confidence-boosting to be around people you care about and who respect you.

Positive Affirmations

Many people find positive affirmations to be very helpful in rebuilding confidence after a divorce. Affirmations are positive statements you say to yourself repeatedly in order to reprogram your brain to focus on positivity instead of negative self-talk. Many people find it helpful to write them where they’ll be seen frequently. For example, on the bathroom mirror so that they see them each morning as soon as they wake up. It could be something as simple as “I am worth loving.” Conversely, it could be something specific to yourself like “I will name three things I’m grateful for each morning as I brush my teeth.”

Get Help

Rebuilding confidence after a divorce can be difficult. Sometimes it’s hard to figure it out on your own. Try reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They’ll be able to help you with negative self-talk and self-doubt. They can often recommend ideas for boosting self-confidence. In addition, it can be very helpful just to have another person to vent your feelings to. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. Divorce can be very damaging to your self-confidence. If you’ve realized that you now have lower self-esteem it’s important to rebuild confidence after a divorce. Re-focus on old hobbies or passions. Finding things that you’re good at can to boost your confidence. Next, re-connect with old friends with who you’ve lost touch. In addition, many people find positive affirmations to be helpful with self-confidence. And finally, get help from a professional. A therapist or counselor is a great resource to use if you’re struggling with low self-esteem. If you can build back your self-confidence after a divorce, you can move on to the next exciting stage of life.

Choosing a Marriage Counselor

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Choosing a marriage counselor can be an important factor in the success of your therapy journey. If you and your spouse are considering marriage counseling, talk about what you’d like to have in a therapist. Make sure that you have similar goals in mind for therapy and then start trying to find somebody that fits the bill. Interview several therapists to get an overall sense of their approach. Consider your budget and if your insurance might help pay for the therapy. You and your partner both need to agree with your therapist. Establish some goals with your counselor early and make sure that they are continuing to work towards them. And finally, trust your gut. If things don’t feel like they’re progressing, find somebody else. You and your partner need to agree on your counselor so that you both feel comfortable.

Choosing a Marriage Counselor: How to Pick the Best Fit

Interview Several

When choosing a marriage counselor, interview several before making your decision. You want to find a good fit for both you and your partner. Figure out what each therapists’ style is and see if it’s a match for your personality. You want to find somebody that you both feel very comfortable with and are open to sharing personal information with.

Consider Budget

Budget is always a consideration when choosing a marriage counselor. Therapy can be expensive, especially out of pocket. Talk to your insurance provider and see if any sort of therapy is covered by your insurance. You can also ask the therapist when you call whether they accept your insurance. If you need to pay out of pocket, make sure that that is something you and your spouse both agree on.

Establish Goals

When choosing a marriage counselor, it’s a good idea to establish your goals ahead of time. Decide if you are wanting therapy to stay together and strengthen your relationship. Or if you are looking for therapy to decide to separate. If you want your goal to be staying together, make sure that your counselor is in agreement with that goal and working towards it.

Trust Your Gut

Finally, trust your gut when choosing a marriage counselor. If something feels unprofessional or like it’s not a great fit, move on to somebody else. You should also never feel like your counselor is siding with either one of you. Nobody wants to feel ganged up on, so if it feels like your counselor is taking sides, then they aren’t being professional. Move on to a different therapist that is a better fit. Choosing a marriage counselor is a big decision when it comes to the overall health of your marriage. And marriage counseling doesn’t have to happen because you’re having troubles. It’s a great idea to see a therapist even when things are great. They can help you identify why things are going so well and give you ways to get back to that feeling when things get tougher. Interview several therapists and figure out who is going to be a good fit. Take your budget into consideration and check into your insurance. Establish goals ahead of time with your counselor and make sure they’re working towards them with you. And finally, trust your gut and find a new therapist if things don’t feel like a good fit. Both you and your partner need to feel good about your choice so that you can get the most out of your counseling sessions.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you are wondering if you need a divorce lawyer, you aren’t alone. Divorces can be very expensive and it might be tempting to save the money you’d pay to an attorney for something else. However, an attorney can prevent you from making mistakes that could be incredibly costly. It’s really in your best interest to have representation, even if you believe your divorce will be amicable. There are many risks involved with going it alone in a settlement. Find a divorce lawyer early in the process so that they can prepare you for what to expect. And finally, when choosing a divorce lawyer, make sure they have plenty of experience with similar cases. While it is not legally mandated that you use a divorce attorney, the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer? Weighing Your Options

The Short Answer

The short answer is that yes, in almost all cases, you need to hire a divorce lawyer. Even if you believe your divorce will be amicable, it still will be very complex. The divorce system is very hard to understand if you are not a divorce attorney yourself. It involves a lot of rules, paperwork, and forms. If any of those things are not done properly, you could wind up losing a lot of money. You could also end up losing assets, property, or risk having it affect your custody situation.

The Risks

There are many risks if you choose to not hire a divorce lawyer. If you own property and don’t have representation, you could wind up losing a lot of money or even be stuck paying for a home you don’t own. Having minor children also means you need representation, because you’ll need to decide how your co-parenting will look. Any errors in that and you could be dealing with a nightmare co-parenting situation for years. If you have retirement plans, assets, or are wanting to work out any spousal support you need to hire a divorce attorney.

When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Hire a divorce lawyer early on in the process. Many people find that the best advice is to hire representation before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. They can help you figure out what information you’ll need and prepare you in case your spouse retaliates negatively. They will also walk you through an overview of the process itself which can be very helpful.

How to Pick a Divorce Lawyer

It’s important to pick the right divorce lawyer for your case. Plan to interview several attorneys before making your decision. Don’t just use the recommendation of a friend unless you also feel like it’s a good fit. You want to make sure that your attorney has plenty of experience with cases similar to yours. You also need to make sure that they are within your budget.

Hiring a divorce lawyer is not legally necessary but it is the smartest move if you are going through a divorce. While it might seem expensive, a lawyer can end up getting you more money than you anticipated with your settlement. In addition, the amount of money you could lose if you make any errors could be astronomical. And those errors could also affect you for the rest of your life. This is especially true if you and your spouse own property, or have children, retirement plans, or large assets. Interview several attorneys before deciding on who will represent you, and hire them early in the process. This way they can walk you through every step to make sure you are getting the best settlement. Hiring good legal counsel is priceless and is the only way to truly protect yourself in a settlement.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
While the divorce process is, of course, stressful and painful, you might find that there are unexpected benefits of divorce. There are negative effects as well, but many people are surprised to find some silver linings. Many find that they are more confident after a divorce. In addition, you will likely have more free time. And what’s more, your time is your own. Divorce can be a great way to start some new beginnings and exciting new chapters in your life. Finally, you can also prioritize your own goals and needs without feeling guilty. Divorce is difficult and it can be a very painful process. But hopefully, you will be able to experience some of these positive effects and begin to see your divorce as the start of a new chapter in your life.

The Unexpected Benefits of Divorce: Surprising Silver Linings

Confidence

Confidence is a very unexpected benefit of divorce. Most people assume that divorce will wreck their self-confidence. However, often the opposite is true. Divorce can be empowering and proof that you have what it takes to fight for what you deserve. What’s more, the thought of being single might be scary. However, after surviving a divorce, obstacles and fears might seem easier to overcome.

Free Time

Another unexpected benefit of divorce is that your time is now your own. You don’t have to worry about catering to your partner’s needs any longer. Or feel guilty when you take time for yourself. If you are now sharing custody of your children you might also have every other weekend free. While it can be a painful transition at first, you might start realizing there are a lot of benefits to having time to yourself now and then.

New Beginnings

Many people look at divorce as the closing of a chapter. But one of the surprising benefits of divorce is that it can be the first chapter in a new phase of life. Ending your marriage allows you to meet new people and even potentially a new partner. It might be just the fresh start you need to make changes in your life that you’ve been putting off for a long time.

Prioritizing Goals

Finally, another of the unexpected benefits of divorce is that you can now prioritize yourself and your own needs. If your marriage was on the rocks before, you might not have been able to take the time you need for self-care. In addition, if you put aside goals you now have the opportunity to reach for them. It’s okay to prioritize yourself now and get exactly what you want for your life.

While it can take a little while to realize the unexpected benefits of divorce, once you are through with the stress of the process itself, you can see the positives. Many find that although they thought they would be less confident, the process was empowering. And what’s more, they went through it and survived. After that, other fears might not seem as scary. Another positive is that your free time is now your own to do with as you please without guilt. You might also have more free time now, especially with shared custody. You can also prioritize your own goals and needs. And finally, divorce can often be the start of a new chapter in your life with exciting opportunities. While it can be painful and difficult, the divorce process is not all negative. There are some unexpected silver linings to look forward to eventually.

Divorce News: Making a Plan

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It can be hard to bring up divorce with your spouse. However, it can be even harder to break the divorce news to your kids. With how traumatic divorce can be for them, you want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible…

Divorce News: Telling The Kids

Tell them together

When breaking divorce news to your kids, it’s important you and your spouse tell them together. In effect, you’ll both want to maintain a united front. After all, you kids aren’t going to know what you know about the divorce or who suggested it. Doing it together helps tell them you’re still working together.

Also, this avoids sending them any mixed messages. If you tell them first, and your partner does later, it could confuse your kids. Plus, you won’t know what your partner could say. Doing this together is good for making sure you’re both on the same page.

Wait for a good time

Another thing to remember when breaking divorce news to the kids is that timing is key. You don’t want to decide on a divorce, and then immediately tell the kids. You’ll also want to avoid telling them when they’re already angry or upset due to something else. Instead, you should make sure the time is right.

Wait until you and your spouse are sure you’ll divorce, and have some kind of plan set in place. Then, be sure to tell the kids somewhere they feel comfortable, and when they aren’t already emotional. This will help ensure the potential shockisn’t made worse by outside factors.

Know what to tell them

Of course, if you’re breaking divorce news, you should know what exactly you’re going to say. Your kids don’t need all the specific details of what went wrong. Most of it probably won’t make sense to them, especially if they’re younger. Rather, you should give them reassurance and a plan for the future.

Be sure that your kids know they aren’t responsible for the divorce, and that you both still love them. This reassurance is important for helping them start to process what’s going on. Then, tell them what might be happening in the future. If they know what to expect, then it’ll be easier for them to prepare emotionally.