How-to Perform Good Divorce Prep

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When you decide to get a divorce, you won’t want to rush into things blindly. Rather, you’ll want to take the time to practice good divorce prep. Doing the prep work now will help to make things a lot easier for you in the future…

How-to Perform Good Divorce Prep: Useful Steps

Gather documents

Having the right types of documents is key for your divorce process. As such, you should start gathering these documents as part of your divorce prep. In particular, financial documents are going to be very helpful. Things like tax returns, W-2s, credit card and bank statements, and other similar documents will be quite handy to have.

Still, it’s one thing to just get your documents. You should also be sure that you organize them too. It might be a little tedious to do, and not always an easy task. However, taking the time to do so now is better than trying to do so when the divorce is underway.

Set up your finances

Divorce can be a bit of an expensive matter. Therefore, it’s good to prepare your finances as part of your divorce prep as well. After all, many people experience some financial stress both during and after their divorce. Preparing ahead of time can help reduce or get rid of this stress altogether.

It’s helpful to try and come up with a general budget to figure out where your finances are currently. With this, you can start to add in some potential divorce costs and see the effects. Should your budget begin to show signs of trouble, then you’ll know to start preparing. Limiting your spending and setting more money aside can help you make it out of your divorce in good financial shape.

Breaking the news

While divorce is a personal matter, you’ll eventually have to let those close to you know about your plans. This can be a pretty stressful task, especially if you’re worried about how others may react. Taking some time to plan how you’ll break the news now as part of your divorce prep can make this process a bit easier for you.

Try to come up with a general “script” you’ll use when you’re bringing up your divorce to others. For those close to you, you can go into a bit more detail as they’ll be a source of support to you. Should you have kids, then it’s especially good to plan how you’ll let them know what’s going on.

Divorce While Living Together

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Usually, most people think that a divorce means one spouse will move out of the house. However, sometimes both partners will stay in the same place. Pulling off a divorce while living together might seem frustrating, but there are ways to make it easier for the both of you…

Divorce While Living Together

Why do it?

Why would a couple decide to do their divorce while living together? As it turns out, there’s a few reasons why they may make this choice. For starters, it can help save money. Doing divorce this way means you don’t have to worry about the costs that come with finding a new place to live.

Also, it might be a good idea if you have kids. It can be hard for them to register the divorce, and then see one of their parents leave right after. If you still decide to live together, you can help your kids understand what’s going on, and prepare for the changes that’ll come.

Cooperation is key

To make your divorce while living together go smoothly, you and your partner will need to work together. In general, this means doing the things you probably did before. For example, you’ll both still want to help with things like cleaning, buying groceries, and handling bill payments.

However, you’ll also want to keep things civil for the kids. In fact, this is a good time to work on a co-parenting plantogether. That way, you’ll have it all sorted out and ready to go once the divorce is finalized.

Have good boundaries

Of course, the biggest hurdle to doing a divorce while living together is avoiding those same issues which lead to the divorce in the first place. To help avoid those problems, it’s important to have good boundaries. These boundaries will help you have some personal space, even when sharing a home.

One thing divorcing couples who are still living together tend to do is set up separate rooms. That way, they have their own space to go to for privacy. It might feel a little “off” at first, but it’s still important to respect those boundaries.

Pet Support During Divorce: Exploring Benefits

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It’s been proven that owning a pet is good for your health. Pets are stress relievers, companions, and a good excuse to get a little exercise or spend some time outside. So, what are the benefits of pet support during divorce? Let’s discuss…

Pet Support During Divorce: What Your Furry Friends Can Do For You… 

Good for You

​The benefits of pet support during divorce go on and on. Pets give their owners an overall better wellbeing and greater happiness. They can relieve stress in a high stress time and help keep your mind off your separation. In addition to that, they are great cuddle buddies and are always happy to see you.

Good for Your Health

One of the obvious benefits of pet support during divorce is the need for physical activity. When you’re grieving a divorce, it can be easy to stay in all day on the couch. A simple walk a couple times a day keeps you active and allows for bonding time. Additionally, a study from the American Heart Association shows that pets can help lower cholesterol and blood pressure.

Good for Children

Children are often confused and lonely when their parents are divorcing. It can be a difficult time for them, needing constant reassurance and extra love. A pet senses this need for extra love and provides just that. Amongst the other benefits of pet support during divorce, pets give children someone to talk to. Putting their thoughts and feelings into words, even to someone who can’t respond, allows a child to come to terms with what’s happening.

Not Just Pets

Other animals can also provide therapeutic relief for children during divorce and they don’t have to live in your home! Horses are healing animals. Learning to care for and ride a horse is a good outlet for built up emotions. Doing so can help ease anger and release frustrations for those who need an outlet. Working in a stable and riding horseback are benefits of pet support during divorce without the live-in component of a pet!

In conclusion, get a pet… Jokes aside, if you happen to be looking for someone loving to share your time with and come home to, consider getting a pet. The benefits of pet support during divorce greatly outweigh the drawbacks, like middle of the night potty breaks or the walks in the rain.

Common Divorce Mistakes: What to Avoid

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

With how important divorce is, you’re going to want to do it the right way. That means avoiding some common divorce mistakes. These mistakes can really make your divorce a lot harder than it should be…

Common Divorce Mistakes

Being confrontational

One of the common divorce mistakes is being too hostile or angry at your ex. Divorce can cause you to experience a lot of negative emotions, and anger certainly can be one of them. Usually, people will get angry at their ex because they blame them for what went wrong or the divorce itself.

This anger is going to make it hard to get anything done in a productive manner. Plus, it’ll make your position look a lot worse to someone like a judge. Therefore, despite what you might feel inside, it’s important to remain calm and cordial when interacting with your ex.

Refusing to cooperate

Another of the common divorce mistakes is when exes refuse to cooperate. Much like with being angry at your ex, it’s also easy to see why you wouldn’t want to work with them. After all, if your marriage didn’t work out, then how will things suddenly work now? However, you’d be surprised at how important it is.

Both you and your ex are going to want the most positive outcome possible. Being willing to work together and cooperatewill let you achieve that. As you find compromises , you’ll both end up with results that you’re satisfied with. This is better than trying to fight one another, and having no one end up happy with the outcome.

Not having support

A lack of support is one of the common divorce mistakes people don’t realize until it’s too late. Some people think that they either don’t need the help, or don’t want to “burden” others with their issues. As a result, they’ll try and tackle their divorce, and the emotions it brings, by themselves.

Usually, this has a negative effect on both the divorce, and a person’s emotional well-being. The thing is, support is very important for processing those strong emotions and starting the healing process. That’s why you shouldn’t be afraid to seek help from family, friends, counselors, or support groups.

Divorce with Adult Children: The Challenges

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Going through a divorce with adult children still presents problems for families. While it may be easier for an adult child to understand the situation better than a younger child, there are still challenges that a family will face.

Divorce with Adult Children: Things to Expect

Emotional Stress

It’s easy to think that divorce will only hurt young children, but divorce with adult children can be challenging too. It can still certainly emotionally affect their grown children. Parents will lean more on their adult children for emotional support, which may not happen with younger children. The parents share more about their personal details with adult children, which can lead to the children feeling uncomfortable and taking sides.

Grown children can also be angrier with their parents, because they think their parents should have divorced earlier. They can carry guilt if they find out their parents only stayed together in an unhappy marriage just for their sake.

Be Understanding and Supportive

While parents are entitled to separate if they choose to, it’s important that the parents try to speak to their kids with facts instead of with emotion. The act of divorce is emotional. However, joking or making rude comments about the other parent is harmful and can lead to a divide.

While divorce with adult children will not lead to custody battles or switching homes during the week, it can still have other implications. Adult children may need space and time to accept that their parents are getting a divorce, so make sure they are given that space if they need it.

Celebrating Holidays

When going through a divorce with adult children, you will still see issues around holidays. This could include trying to determine where the family will spend Thanksgiving or Christmas. If the divorce is amicable, then the best solution will be to try and get the family together and celebrate as one unit. If the divorce was messy, then you may need to split the two holidays with your former spouse. Another option would be to celebrate those holidays on different days than your ex is.

While many people may not think of the tolls of divorce on grown children, it certainly can affect them. It may affect them in different way than it does young kids, but it still will be difficult. Don’t dismiss their feelings and try to work through this difficult together.

Peaceful Divorce: Minimize Conflict

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Most people assume that a divorce is going to have a lot of conflict. However, many separating partners actually have a relatively peaceful divorce. While it may not always be easy, making a few changes can help you keep conflict to a minimum…

Peaceful Divorce: Avoid Fights

Start off properly

Having a peaceful divorce depends a lot on how you bring up the divorce itself. Depending on how you break the news to your partner, they’ll be more or less likely to get upset. For instance, if you place all the blame on them and get very emotional, they’ll probably respond in a similar, angry manner. This can set a very negative tone for the rest of the divorce

Instead, you want to tell them your feelings peacefully and calmly someplace private. Don’t just start blaming them for everything that went wrong. Rather, explain how you feel and how you hope you can go about matters without conflict. In this situation, your partner is much more likely to agree with you.

Think things through

Your friends and family are very important for helping you during your divorce. At the same time, they’ll also want to give their input on the situation. While their intentions may be to help you, their unsolicited opinions may get overwhelming. In fact, they could influence you to make bad decisions if they’re biased against your ex.

Therefore, if you want a peaceful divorce, you have to think things through on your own. It’s important you have a space you can go to where you can get a clear head and consider what’s going on. That way, you can make the best decision without being influenced by others too much.

Be careful with social media

Many couples who wanted a peaceful divorce had those efforts undermined because of social media.  What usually happens is one ex will make very negative posts about their ex. Of course, it doesn’t take long for the other ex to see these posts, get angry, and change the entire tone of the divorce going forwards.

As a result, you should be extra careful with your social media posts. Avoid talking about your ex, and the divorce itself too. In fact, it may just be best to take a break from social media altogether during this time. That way, you won’t even need to worry about it!

How Do Children React to Divorce?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Children react to divorce in many different ways. A lot depends on the family, the situation, and of course, the child. However, some behaviors are very common among children of newly divorced parents. Be on the watch for these behaviors and be prepared to give your child as much support as they need during this tough time. One thing you might see is regression – this could be with sleep, using the bathroom, or other behaviors. Another typical reaction is aggression or new anger issues. Some children feel very sad and begin to internalize the stress as shame. And finally, some children go through intense separation anxiety. Guide your children through all of these emotions by being supportive and allowing them to share their feelings.

How Do Children React to Divorce? Behaviors You Might See

Regressions

One way that many children react to divorce is through various regressions. Regressions happen when a child’s behavior seems to be getting less mature, rather than more mature. For instance, some children might be sleeping well and suddenly start waking up at night. Or some potty-trained children begin to have accidents again. There are many ways that regressions can present themselves. Usually, they will get through the regression on their own with a little guidance.

Aggression

Another way that children react to divorce is aggression. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll start hitting their friends. It could just mean that they are easier to upset or fluster. Or their frustration seems more intense than usual. Guide them to healthy outlets for their strong emotions, like a new hobby or exercise.

Depression

Depression is another way that children react to divorce. It can be very different from child to child. Some children might just become more whiny than usual. Others might be upset easily or spend lots of time crying. And many children begin to feel shame about the divorce and think that they are at fault. You should constantly reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that you love them very much.

Separation Anxiety

Finally, one last way that children react to divorce is through separation anxiety. Their entire world has likely been turned upside down. They may be a little clingier than usual. They are trying to make sure that they hold onto the one constant in their lives – you. Usually, separation anxiety eases with time and with reassurance that you will always come back when you leave. Children react to divorce in a myriad of different ways. Some children get very quiet while others have hundreds of questions. However, many children present with regressions like potty training. Or with aggression and a little more moodiness than usual. Yet others go through depressive stages, and some get more separation anxiety than usual. However your child is handling the divorce, you should reassure them constantly. Many times these changes ease fairly quickly as they get used to a new routine. However, if your child seems to be struggling, reach out to their pediatrician or a child therapist for some guidance. Hopefully, you can help ease your children through this difficult transition and help them handle their emotions.

How to Choose the Right Divorce Attorney

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Choosing the right divorce attorney is an important aspect of the divorce process. Having the best representation on your side can affect the kind of settlement you get. You want to make sure that the attorney you choose is professional and experienced. Ask for references from anybody you interview to make sure that they have some relevant experience. In addition, consider your budget for the divorce and go over costs with them upfront. Don’t just pick the first person you meet, interview a few different lawyers. And finally, remember your needs and what you need from them. You aren’t hiring a new best friend, but a legal representative. Hopefully, you can find a great lawyer who will represent you and get you the settlement you want.

How to Choose the Right Divorce Attorney: Finding the Best Match

Ask for References

Choosing the right divorce attorney starts with making sure that they have plenty of experience. But specifically, you want an attorney that has handled similar cases to yours. You might not necessarily want to go with the lawyer a friend of yours recommends because your cases could be very different. Make sure that they have relevant experience and can help you get what you need out of the divorce.

Consider Budget

It’s also important to consider your budget when picking your divorce attorney. Divorce is incredibly expensive, so you’ll need to budget ahead of time. Anybody you interview should be able to give you an overview of their costs. They might not be able to give you exact details, but they should at least cover up-front costs and a general sense of what you might spend.

Interview Several

It’s also important to interview several lawyers when picking a divorce attorney. Don’t just go with the first person you meet. Instead, interview three or four different attorneys and figure out which will serve your needs best. Make sure that they are professional in their mannerisms, and that they have relevant experience.

Remember Your Needs

Finally, remember what your needs are when choosing a divorce attorney. You are not looking for somebody to commiserate with over your ex. Or somebody to comfort you when you are upset. They don’t need to be your friend or your therapist. They are your legal representative. Find an attorney that will fight hard for your settlement. You will certainly need some emotional support during the divorce process, but your attorney is not the person to go to for that. Choosing the right divorce attorney is a big step in the divorce process. Finally settling on that decision can take a huge weight off your back. Make sure that you interview several different attorneys and ask them about relevant experience. Consider your overall budget when choosing, and ask about up-front and long-term costs during the interview stage. Finally, remember what you need your attorney to do. They don’t need to be a confidant or a friend, they need to be your legal representative. The right attorney can help make the divorce process much less stressful. Take the time to carefully consider your options and make sure that you are picking an attorney that will fight hard for you.

Self-care After Divorce: Exercise is Key

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Life during and after a divorce can be stressful and draining. Because of this, it is very important to make sure you’re remembering to take care of yourself too. Making self-care after divorce a priority will help you to feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically. Especially when exercise is involved…

Self-care After Divorce: Benefits of Exercise

Exercise Makes You Feel Happier

First off, exercise can make your body release endorphins, which can make you feel happy. Divorce can be very tough, and endorphins can help lift your mood and make you feel better. You don’t have to run a marathon in order to get these endorphins flowing. Even just thirty minutes of moderate-intensity exercise can release mood-lifting endorphins.

Exercise Relieves Stress

In the same way, exercise can help relieve stress. Tension and stress can build-up during and after the divorce process. Yoga is a great form of exercise to alleviate stress. It is low-impact, and focuses on breathing, stretching, and mindfulness. Even while gyms are closed due to Covid-19, there are many yoga classes that can be taken on apps like Down Dog or even YouTube. However, yoga isn’t the only exercise to reduce stress; almost any form of exercise can.

Equally important, exercise can help you to sleep better. This is because you may fall asleep faster and sleep deeper. A good night’s rest is a great way to reduce stress levels.

Exercise Helps Improve Health

Weight fluctuations are common during and after a divorce. Whether it’s gaining or losing too much weight, quick changes like this can be unhealthy. When people exercise, they tend to eat healthier and make smarter choices about alcohol and junk food. This can lead to a healthier weight and improving your overall health. When your body is healthier, it will be ready to face any challenges or obstacles that come your way.

Exercise Improves Self-Esteem

Getting out and moving will not only help you feel better, but it will help you look better too. Exercise helps to build and tone muscles, as well as trim fat. In some situations, divorce can hurt someone’s self-esteem. If you feel like you look better, it will help you feel more confident and happier.


While divorce can negatively impact your overall health, stress levels and happiness, exercise is a great way to regain control over these parts of your life. While it’s easy to get caught up in so many other things right after a divorce, don’t forget to take care of yourself.

Divorce Logistics: What To Consider

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

There’s a lot more to a divorce than you may initially think. In particular, you’ll need to consider some divorce logistics that you have to sort out. These factors will be important for making sure you can give your divorce the attention it needs…

Divorce Logistics: Important Elements

Place to stay

One important part of divorce logistics is where you will be staying. Some couples will decide to keep living in the same home while handling the divorce. Usually, this is because they can keep the peace and stay out of each other’s way. This makes it a lot easier for both parties to focus on the divorce.

However, you may not be able to do this. Instead, it may be the case that you need to find some other place to live. While an apartment may be the most apparent solution, you can also reach out to family too. Staying with family can help you save a bit of extra money, which is quite helpful.

Time off work

Your job is also going to be a divorce logistics factor. There’s going to be a lot of times when you’ll need to take care of something which falls on a workday. As such, you’ll need to ensure you can make the time for them by being able to take time off of work.

Most people will make use of things like vacation or sick days to do this. Still, it’s good to try and talk to your boss or supervisor about what’s going on. Many times, they’ll understand what you’re going through and the time you need to take care of it. So long as you can get your work done, they’ll probably be willing to help you out when you need to take some time off.

Watching the kids

Having kids can really change how you approach your divorce. They also are another thing that you need to factor some divorce logistics around. With both work and the divorce, you and your ex probably won’t be able to always watch the kids when needed.

Therefore, you want to make sure someone will be able to watch the kids when needed. Friends and family are great for this. If they can, they’ll usually try and help you out by watching your kids. Of course, well-reviewed babysitters are also good should your friends and family not be available.