Weathering a Recession Together

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
With the housing market and inflation rates changing so much lately, many couples are wondering if they’ll be weathering a recession together soon. Hopefully, the economy will stay strong, but it’s still important to understand how to get through financial ups and downs without conflict. Throughout a marriage, there will likely be some times when money is tight, and this can often lead to marital fights. Get comfortable talking about finances together so that you can be on the same page. Discuss a budget and think of ways to cut back on spending. Finally, don’t play the blame game, and instead work together towards mutual financial goals. Hopefully, you can weather any financial dips and be stronger for it.

Weathering a Recession Together: How to Overcome Financial Struggles as a Couple

Get Comfy Talking About Money

One of the best things you can do if you’re facing weathering a recession together is to get comfortable talking about money. Whether it’s a national economic crisis or a personal financial dip, you’ll need to be able to communicate effectively. It can be uncomfortable to talk about money at first, but it’s an important part of your marriage. Both spouses should have an overview of their financial health at all times, and both should be involved in financial decision-making.

Make a Budget

Another thing that you can do in advance of weathering a recession together is to make a budget. Knowing exactly how much money is coming in each month vs how much money you’re spending can be very helpful. Try to account for yearly bills like registration renewals and home warranties. Additionally, don’t forget about monthly subscription services, which can add up quickly.

Find Ways to Cut Back

Sit down together and try to think of ways that you can cut back. You might consider limiting the number of meals you eat out or choosing cheaper options. Look for coupons for groceries that are getting more and more expensive. Ask about options for payment plans for large medical bills, and try to buy second-hand when possible. Make sure that you both are cutting back and that it’s not just one partner making sacrifices.

Don’t Place the Blame

Finally, when weathering a recession together, don’t place blame. It’s easy to react to stress and tension by taking it out on your partner. Instead, try to brainstorm together about ways to save and set financial goals. Try to build up an emergency savings account, and then move on to other savings like retirement or travel. Finally, be honest with one another about spending habits, and don’t try to hide debts. Hopefully, the U.S. will avoid any large-scale economic struggles in the coming months, but even so, couples might be weathering a recession together if their finances take a dip. Every marriage has its ups and downs. And that includes financial windfalls and struggles. Money problems can be one of the leading causes of divorce, so try not to let your finances become a source of conflict. Get comfortable talking about money together, and create a budget so you know exactly how much money is coming in and going out. Additionally, try to find ways to cut back on spending where you can, and avoid blaming one another for economic struggles. Hopefully, you’ll be able to bounce back quickly from any financial struggles and be stronger on the other side as a couple.

Talking to Your Children About Separation

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Talking to your children about separation and divorce can be an incredibly painful conversation. For many couples, the fear of discussions like this forces them to stay married far longer than is healthy. The truth is, your children will be happier with parents that can peacefully co-parent than with parents that continue to live together with a toxic relationship. Present a united front and try to talk to them as a team. Choose age-appropriate resources to help you with explaining what’s happening. Reassure them that they’ll get used to these changes quickly and that you love them just the same as always. And finally, give them space to react and ask questions or voice concerns. While it can be difficult to have the conversation, hopefully, it will clear the path for honest communication about the transition they’re facing.

Talking to Your Children About Separation: Reassuring Them

Present a United Front

If you and your spouse are talking to your children about separation, it’s very helpful to present a united front. Sit down with them together and explain the situation without using harmful or blaming language. Don’t air all of your dirty laundries, but instead use simple and easy-to-understand terms. Even when you are apart, don’t trash talk one another in front of your children as it can create confusion and anxiety for them.

Choose Age-Appropriate Resources

Another thing that can be helpful when talking to your children about separation is to use age-appropriate resources. For younger children, there might be picture books or tv shows that focus on the concept of divorce and separation. For older children, they might appreciate having a peer counselor or therapist to speak to about their feelings.

Reassure Them

No matter what, be reassuring when talking to your children about separation. Children often take on a lot of the blame for parents splitting up. So make sure they understand that this was your choice and that you both love them just the same. Even older children can use a little extra reassurance during this transitional period. Additionally, let them know that you’ll all get used to these changes quickly and their lives will feel completely normal soon enough.

Let Them Ask Questions

Finally, after talking to your children about separation, give them plenty of space to process their emotions. They might react with anger, hurt, anxiety, or several other emotions. Give them space to ask any questions they need or voice any concerns. Older children might benefit from having a non-parent adult to talk to. And younger children might show signs of regression like issues with potty training or sleep. All of these reactions are normal, and your children will hopefully adjust quickly. Talking to your children about separation can be difficult, but it’s important to let them know what to expect in the coming weeks and months. Especially if you and your spouse are moving forward with a divorce. Talk to them as a team if you can, and avoid bashing each other or blaming one another in front of them. Use age-appropriate books and resources to help them understand. Be extra reassuring during this transitional stage, even with older children. And finally, give them plenty of time and space to process their reaction to the situation. Hopefully, you’ll all adjust quickly and move forward into the next chapter of your lives with peaceful co-parenting as a goal.

How to Create a Budget After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Creating a budget after divorce is absolutely critical. Things have probably changed for you financially now that you’re separated. You may have to make some lifestyle changes in order to stick to a healthy budget. To set your budget, you first need to figure out exactly how much money is coming in. Next, calculate how much your essentials cost. Then calculate any discretionary spending and figure out how much of it you can cut out. And finally, track everything you pay for so you know whether or not you’ve stuck to your goal. Hopefully, by creating a budget, you’ll be able to adjust more easily to your new life and create a savings cushion.

How to Create a Budget After Divorce: Make a Plan and Stick to It

Figure Out Money Coming In

Creating a budget after divorce starts with calculating exactly how much money is coming in. This doesn’t mean your salary. This means your salary minus anything that gets taken out of it. For example, take into account taxes, social security, and 401k deductions. If you are receiving or paying out alimony or child support, include this. Your overall income might be very different now that you are calculating it without your spouse’s additional earnings. You need to know exactly how much money you have to work with at the end of the day.

Calculate Essentials

Next, when creating a budget after divorce, figure out your absolute essentials. You’ll want to know exactly how much money each month you need to survive. These include things like rent or mortgage payments, utilities, health insurance, and groceries. In addition, you may consider a car payment or internet access to work from home as essential needs. Don’t forget essentials for your children like daycare payments.

Calculate Discretionary Spending

Anything that isn’t essential is considered discretionary spending. This is where you can make lifestyle changes and possibly cut your spending if you’re trying to budget after divorce. Some of these things might feel a bit more essential than others. For example, maybe you could give up eating at restaurants several nights a week, but you really don’t think you could give up Netflix. Decide which things are necessary for you to really enjoy life and which things you might be able to reduce or cut out entirely. For example, perhaps you could subscribe to Netflix and Hulu and cut out your cable bill. Or find a car with a smaller monthly payment.

Track Your Spending

Finally, trying to stick to a budget after divorce means you have to track your spending. Otherwise, you won’t know whether or not you’ve actually stuck to your spending goals. Every time you spend money on anything, write it down. There are apps on your phone for this, like Mint, that will help you track your spending. They can give you some idea of how much you’re spending on things that really aren’t essential.

Creating a budget after divorce is important since your financial habits might need to change. It’s difficult to make the transition from two budgets to just one, but a budget will help. Figure out exactly how much money is coming in at the end of the day. Then figure out what your essentials are each month. Next, calculate how much you’d like to spend on discretionary things. And finally, track everything you spend money on so you know if you’re sticking to your goals. Budgeting is an important life skill and one that might serve you well in your new single life, and if you meet another partner down the road. Sticking to a budget might allow you to build up savings for things like home improvements, travel, and emergencies.

Organize for Your Divorce: Be Prepared

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
It’s a good idea to organize for your divorce before it even starts. A divorce is an intense process. It can take a very long time and involves a lot of paperwork. It’s a good idea to go ahead and start preparing in advance so that you aren’t scrambling to find things later. Get together a list of contacts and documents that you might need. It’s also a good idea to organize your bank accounts and know what is in each of them and who’s names they are in. You should have a list of your assets both personal and marital. And finally, it’s a good idea to go ahead and have a general idea of what kind of childcare schedule might work for you after the divorce is final. Hopefully, being organized at the outset of the divorce can help it be a smoother process for you.

Organize for Your Divorce: Be Prepared Before It Starts

Comprise A List of Contacts

One thing you’ll need when you organize for your divorce is a list of contacts and documents. You will obviously need to find a divorce attorney. But you might also need to speak to a financial advisor and some other professionals. A realtor can give you advice about your living situation. And if you have children, it’s good to get a list of potential childcare providers ready. You will likely have a lot of court appearances and meetings to get to and might need to call in a babysitter periodically.

Organize Documents

The next thing to organize for your divorce is legal documents. Get a folder so that you can keep things separated. You’ll probably want to keep a place for emails with your attorney and your spouse. You might need to show bank statements, bills, loan documents, and others. You might also need copies of things like your marriage license and birth certificate. Find a way to organize all of this so that you don’t get flustered when asked to produce any paperwork.

Organize Finances

You’ll also need to organize your finances when you go to organize for your divorce. You should have a list of bank accounts as well as a list of who controls each and know the rough balances. You should also know all of your various loans, including mortgage info, credit card info, and any student loans. It’s a good idea to make a list of your assets, both your personal and marital assets.

Potential Calendar

Finally, one last thing that you can try to organize for your divorce is your schedule. You might not really know exactly how the child custody arrangement is going to work out. However, you can still get a school calendar and have some idea of which holidays and events you’d like to make sure and be a part of. You can also look at your work calendar and highlight any days that you will be out of pocket. That way you can ensure that you won’t need to be in court during those times. It’s always a good idea to organize your divorce before it even starts. That way you won’t be scrambling to find documents or hire a babysitter spur of the moment. This can just lead to some added stress. And when going through a divorce, extra stress is the last thing you need. Organize your contact list for people you might need to interact with during the divorce. It’s also a good idea to organize your legal documents and finances. And finally, try to plan out your calendar in advance so that you have some idea of what you’d like your custody schedule to look like. Hopefully, getting organized before your divorce even starts will make the whole process smoother and quicker for you.

Divorcee Etiquette

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you are deciding to get back into the dating game, you’ll need to be aware of common divorcee etiquette. While you don’t want to harp on your divorce, it’s important to be honest about your past. It’s best to wait until your divorce is final before going public with any new partners. Otherwise, you could risk affecting your settlement negatively. Don’t compare your new date with your ex, and try to remember that they will handle situations differently. Finally, don’t trash your ex constantly. Not only can it affect your relationship, but it makes it seem like you aren’t emotionally healed from the breakup. Hopefully, you can navigate the complicated world of dating and find somebody that is a perfect match.

Divorcee Etiquette When Dating Again

Be Honest About the Divorce

One of the most important things to know about divorcee etiquette is that you should be up-front about your status. While you don’t have to go into details (in fact, it’s best not to), you should let any new partners know that you are a divorcee. Try to keep the explanation simple and straightforward.

Don’t Go Public Until Divorce is Final

Another aspect of divorcee etiquette is that you should not be flashy about any new relationships while your divorce proceedings are still happening. In fact, in some states, it could harm your settlement or even custody. Even if you and your ex are both on the same page about your split, seeing you with a new partner might make things more contentious. And finally, your children might not react well to you introducing them to a new partner so soon. It’s best to wait until your divorce is final, and you are emotionally healed, before dating again.

Don’t Compare Partners

It’s also helpful to avoid trying to compare any new dates with your ex. Whether you are comparing them positively or negatively, try to remember that they’re their unique person. Just because your ex reacted a certain way to a situation doesn’t mean that a new partner will. Try to be open-minded about dating, and avoid making comparisons to your ex-spouse.

Don’t Trash the Ex

Finally, it’s also important divorcee etiquette not trash the ex. If you need to vent about your ex, find a friend or therapist to talk to. But don’t unload on a new partner. It can make you seem like you are either bitter or like you are not moving on fully from the breakup. Additionally, if your ex finds out that you are trashing them, it can make custody more difficult. It’s best to avoid the topic of the ex whenever possible and remember “When you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Divorcee etiquette can be a little complicated, but the most important thing is to have fun with dating. Allow yourself plenty of time to grieve the end of your marriage and emotionally heal from the stress of divorce. Focus on self-care and building back relationships that might have been neglected. Then, when things are final and you are moving on, consider dating once again. Be upfront about your status as a divorcee, but don’t go on and on about your breakup. Additionally, avoid comparing your new date to your spouse, and also try not to bash your ex in front of them. Hopefully, you’ll be able to move on quickly from your divorce and enjoy dating once again. You never know when you’ll meet the perfect match!

Fighting Loneliness After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Fighting loneliness after divorce can be tough. You have likely been living with another person for many years, and it can be quite hard to suddenly learn to live alone. However, know that you will quickly get used to your new situation. It can help to reconnect with old friends that you’ve lost touch with. You can also make new friends by joining a local meet-up group or getting back out into the dating world. It helps to stay busy with hobbies and interests. And finally, adopting a pet is always a great way to fight loneliness. Divorce is stressful and difficult, but for many, adapting to their new way of life is just as hard. Hopefully, you will be able to adjust quickly and find some ways to fill your time and help battle loneliness.

Fighting Loneliness After Divorce: Adjusting to Your New Normal

Reconnect with Old Friends

Fighting loneliness after divorce can start with reconnecting with old friends. The divorce process is stressful and complicated. It can often take up tons of your time. So it’s possible that you haven’t had time for friends lately. Now is a great time to reach out and try to re-connect. Invite them out for a quick bite or a cup of coffee to catch up.

Join a Local Meet-Up Group or Dating Website

Another way of fighting loneliness after divorce is to join a local meet-up group. There are groups for many different hobbies and interests. There are also groups specifically for divorcees. And of course, if you are comfortable and feel ready, you can always re-join the dating pool. It can be scary at first, but if you take your time and take things slow, you might connect with somebody amazing.

Stay Busy

Fighting loneliness after divorce is easiest if you stay busy. Boredom always increases feelings of loneliness. Try to focus on a new hobby or interest. Or reconnect with an old passion. You can take classes, explore museums, or even do virtual tours. Taking up a new hobby is also a great way to meet new people who share the same interests as you.

Adopt a Pet

Finally, one final and fun way of fighting loneliness after divorce is to adopt a pet. There are many needy animals out there just looking to be adopted by a loving parent like you. Just make sure that you have the time and energy to dedicate to a pet. Consider rescuing a pet from a local rescue group, shelter, or foster service instead of going to a breeder. Fighting loneliness after divorce can be hard. It’s difficult when you’ve lived with another person for many years to suddenly adjust to single life. Even just learning to cook for one can be an adjustment. However, you can fight the loneliness by making time to reconnect with old friends. Or you can take up a new hobby. This is also a great way to meet somebody new to date or some new friends. There are plenty of meetup groups available to fit any interest. If you feel ready, try online dating, or asking a friend to set you up on a date. And finally, adopting a pet can be a great way to get a loving buddy for many years. Hopefully, you’ll adjust to your new normal quickly and find happiness.

Splitting Up Household Chores Fairly

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Splitting up household chores fairly can be a huge way to relieve marital stress. Although it might not seem like a big deal, people’s living space has a big impact on their mood. If your house is messy, it can create more anxiety. And if one partner feels like household duties always fall on their shoulders, it can create some resentment. Brainstorm all of the various household needs, and then create a schedule that feels fair to both of you. Hold each other accountable, and don’t shirk your duties. And finally, don’t forget about the mental load. Especially if you have children or other responsibilities. Hopefully, by sharing to make your space more attractive, you can reduce marital stress.

Splitting Up Household Chores Fairly in a Marriage

Create a List of Responsibilities

The first thing to do when splitting up household chores is to make a master list of everything that needs to be done. Include things like cleaning the house, laundry, yard upkeep, and routine maintenance. Then, add to its work like paying bills, organizing the family schedule, or various childcare responsibilities. Try to think of all of the various tasks that need to be accomplished.

Make a Schedule

Now, it’s time to start splitting up household chores. Get out a sheet of paper and begin working out a schedule of when each of you will be responsible for your tasks. If you have certain chores that you hate doing, and chores that you don’t mind, share this with your partner. It might work out that you coordinate perfectly, or you might just have to rotate if you both hate the same tasks.

Hold Each Other Accountable

Don’t shirk your duties if you’ve gone through the trouble of splitting up household chores. It isn’t fair to your partner or the rest of your family. Instead, try to hold each other accountable. Understand that there might be times when one partner needs a break or needs a little help. Try to support each other with gentle reminders instead of nagging. And finally, don’t nitpick the way your partner does their chores. Even if you tackle things differently, as long as the job gets done, there’s no need to criticize.

Don’t Forget About Mental Work

Finally, don’t forget the mental work that goes into keeping up a household. Not only do you need to be splitting up household chores, but also emotional and mental work as well. For example, keeping up with finances, scheduling doctors’ appointments for the family, or coordinating sports schedules. If you have young children you’ll also do a fair bit of homework help, shopping for gifts for holidays, planning vacations, and even things like shopping for clothing in the next size.

Splitting up household chores can go a long way in helping you and your spouse get along better. When it feels like both of you are giving equal effort into maintaining your way of life, you’ll hopefully be a stronger couple. Sit down and make a list of all of the various responsibilities that you have as a family. If you have children, this might include a lot of mental work as well. Then, take time to create a realistic schedule that feels fair to each of you for sharing these responsibilities. After that, it’s just a matter of sticking to your schedule and fulfilling your promises to your partner. Hopefully, you can both give each other the respect you deserve by contributing equally to your household’s happiness and upkeep. And when your children are older, you can include them too!

Divorce Transition for Babies

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
While we often think about the difficulties of divorce in older children, the divorce transition for babies can also be tough. Even infants can sense when parents are anxious, so they might pick up on divorce stress. To prevent any sort of disruptions, focus on quality time with your children when you are around them. Try to keep your schedules across your and your ex’s houses the same. And finally, now is the time to work on perfecting the art of co-parenting. Divorce is tough on everybody, and that includes very young children as well. Make things as smooth as possible for everyone by focusing on quality time together and peaceful co-parenting.

Divorce Transition for Babies: Smoothing Things Out

Do Babies Understand Divorce?

While the divorce transition for babies is very different than for older children, infants still do have stress during a divorce. Even young babies who have no idea what divorce is can pick up on stress in their parents and older siblings. Especially if their parents are fighting with one another in front of them. So try to limit your arguments with your ex in front of children, even infants.

Focus on Quality Time

Focusing on quality time can help with the divorce transition for babies. You and your ex might be switching childcare, or having your child go back and forth between your houses. If that’s the case, really focus on keeping your time together sacred. Set aside the phone and pay attention to your child and their needs. Play with them and make the moments that you do have together extra special.

Keep Schedules Consistent

Babies thrive on consistency, so to ease the divorce transition for babies, keep your schedules the same across your houses. You and your ex should follow similar times for napping, sleeping, feeding, and play times. The more consistent you can be, the easier the transitional period will be for your child.

Perfect Your Co-Parenting

The absolute best thing that parents can do for children of any age is to get great at co-parenting. Coordinating custody schedules, sharing responsibilities, splitting holidays, and getting along with your ex are all skills that take time to perfect. While babies might be more difficult on your sleep schedule, they have relatively few obligations. Unlike older children who have extra-curricular and sports schedules to maintain. Use this time to perfect your co-parenting skills so that it’ll be a breeze to handle when your child’s schedule gets more complicated. The divorce transition for babies is not as difficult as for older children, but it’s still important to be mindful of your infant’s needs at this time. While babies certainly don’t understand what a divorce means, they do pick up on tension and stress when parents argue in front of them. Try to limit any fights to when you and your ex are in private. Additionally, keep your schedules as consistent as possible between your houses. Focus on making the time you have with your infant quality time. And finally, work on perfecting your co-parenting skills now so that you can handle more complicated schedules and childcare needs in the future. Hopefully, you and your ex can make this transitional period easier for everybody.

Pet Ownership During Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Pet ownership during divorce can be a heated and complicated subject. Our pets become like important members of the family. So if you are considering a divorce you might be wondering: what happens to the dog? Pets are considered property, so a judge will divvy them up as an asset, just like any other asset in your marriage. If you want to protect your ownership of an animal that you bring into the marriage, you might want to investigate a pet prenuptial agreement. Many couples find creative ways to share custody of pets, but it’s important to consider what is best for your animal. If you are agonizing over the thought of your pet going through divorce, you are not alone. But the important thing is to provide plenty of love during this transition period.

Pet Ownership During Divorce: Who Gets the Dog?

Pets as Property

While we might think of our pets as members of our family, pet ownership during divorce is a little more straight-forward. Pets are property. When considering all of your assets, any animals will be thrown into the mix just like other property. If you and your ex are struggling to decide who gets the dog, a judge might have to make the decision for you. They’ll probably take into account if one of you brought the pet into the marriage, as well as other factors.

Pet Prenup

If you don’t want to struggle with anxiety over pet ownership during divorce, you might consider a pet prenup. A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract between two people that are intending to marry that outlines what will happen to assets in the event of a divorce. If you are bringing a pet into your marriage, you can outline in a prenup that the pet is yours in the event of a breakup.

Custody Arrangements

Pet ownership during divorce can get a little complicated, but ultimately, one spouse will have ownership in the end. However, this doesn’t mean that you and your ex cannot arrange your own pet custody agreement. Many couples choose to share custody of animals and allow the pet to go back and forth between their houses.

What’s Best for the Animal?

While many couples choose to share custody of their pets, it’s important to make sure that this is an arrangement that works for your animal. Some pets do fine going back and forth every week or every month between owners. For others, it can be stressful. You and your ex should keep your schedules as consistent as possible as far as eating and sleeping times. However, it’s important to make the decision that is best for your pet’s overall happiness. Pet custody during divorce is no small matter. Couples get incredibly heated and passionate about choosing who gets to keep the animal during a break-up. In fact, some couples are hesitant to even consider divorce because of the stress of figuring out what to do with their pet. Animals are considered property in a divorce, so a judge will make a ruling about who ultimately keeps them. However, many couples choose to work out a shared custody arrangement so that each can spend time with the dog or cat. If you are anxious, you might consider a pet prenup if you are bringing an animal into the marriage. Hopefully, you and your ex can find the solution that works best for you, and for you pet.

The Dangers of Secret-Keeping in a Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Secret-keeping in a marriage can be a slippery slope that can quickly lead to a lot of broken trust. Although everybody has a right to privacy, there is a difference between privacy and keeping secrets or lying to your partner. Lying can quickly compound into a very messy situation. Additionally, keeping secrets can block you from being able to be intimate with your partner. It can lead to broken trust and a lack of self-confidence for your spouse. And finally, it can be a slippery slope to behaviors like infidelity. Instead of keeping secrets from your spouse, it’s healthier to explore why you feel hesitant to share something with them. Tackling those feelings through marriage counseling or private therapy can help you open up more and can allow you to form an even deeper bond of trust with your spouse.

The Dangers of Secret-Keeping in a Marriage: Broken Trust

Lies Compound

One of the reasons why secret-keeping in a marriage is so dangerous is because lies often compound. When people lie about things, it’s difficult to stop at just one lie. They often end up telling more lies to cover up the first one. Then, it becomes difficult to remember which half-truths and lies of omission they’ve even told. After all of that, revealing the truth can feel much harder because they also have to reveal all of the cover-ups and deception surrounding it.

Lack of Intimacy

Another reason why secret-keeping in a marriage can be unhealthy is because it can lead to a lack of intimacy. A lie can create an invisible barrier between you and your partner that might be difficult to overcome. It might make you feel uncomfortable being around them, or make you avoid certain topics. Your spouse will likely pick up on that discomfort and be confused and hurt about why you suddenly are distancing yourself from them.

Broken Trust

Broken trust is another danger of secret-keeping in a marriage. If your partner catches you in a lie, it can be difficult to overcome. It might shake their confidence in you and make them question what other things you might be lying to them about. Additionally, being lied to can lead to a lot of confidence issues. That broken trust in your marriage can fester and become a huge source of pain if you continue to deceive your partner.

Slippery Slope

Finally, lying in a marriage can be a slippery slope to other behaviors. Once you get over the initial discomfort of telling a lie, it becomes easier and easier to tell more. Then, it might become easier to fall into unhealthy habits, like infidelity. Secret-keeping in a marriage can be a slippery slope to things like affairs. Then, as the lies add up and become more and more intricate, the resulting damage when they are found out can be catastrophic to your marriage.

Everybody has a right to privacy in their relationships, however, secret-keeping in a marriage can be unhealthy. It can lead to more and more lies, a lack of intimacy, and broken trust. It can also result in unhealthy behaviors like covering up financial struggles, infidelity, or addiction. If you are feeling the need to keep secrets from your spouse, it’s important to discover where those feelings are coming from. Instead of lying, seek out professional help. A marriage counselor can allow you both to open up more, or private therapy can help you come to terms with why you are feeling ashamed to share your feelings with your partner. Being vulnerable with your partner can actually bring you much closer together and can end up making you an even stronger couple.