Your First Valentine’s Day After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Your first Valentine’s Day after divorce can be a little bit emotional. Whether you were married for one year or thirty, being in a committed relationship means avoiding the pressures of this romantic holiday. But you can still have a great time even if you’re single. First, acknowledge your feelings because it’s very normal to feel emotional during this time of year. Try to make a plan for the night so that you have something to look forward to. If you have children, try to create some traditions with them that you can look forward to year after year. And finally, make a point to meet up with friends to celebrate your own Galentines/Valentine’s Day. Hopefully, by preparing a little bit in advance, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed at the thoght of handling this holiday.

Your First Valentine’s Day After Divorce: Handling Loneliness

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s important to acknowledge your feelings on your first Valentine’s Day after divorce. It’s very normal to experience sadness during holidays, even non-romantic ones. It’s okay and healthy to grieve the marriage that you lost, because it also is the end of a future that you once saw for yourself. Take some time to process your feelings. Speak to a friend or therapist, journal, and do a little self-care.

Make a Plan for the Night

It’s also helpful to make a plan for the night for your first Valentine’s Day after divorce. That way, you’ll be less likely to just sit and feel lonely. You can find a friend to hang out with, go see a movie, go get food from your favorite restaurant, or pamper yourself with a fancy bubble bath. Get your favorite warm snuggly drink and watch an uplifting movie. Hopefully, you can find some ways to perk yourself up a little bit.

Create a Tradition

If you have children, you can also consider making some traditions with them. Maybe get some valentines crafts to do together, make a picnic on the floor while you watch a funny movie, or try to make a fun meal like fondue that they’ll get to participate in. If you don’t have custody during Valentine’s Day, just “move” the holiday until a time when you can be together – your kids probably won’t even know the difference!

Galentine’s/Palentine’s Day

Finally, you can opt to just celebrate your first Valentine’s Day after divorce with your friends instead of a potential date. Galantine’s (or Palentine’s) Day is a grand tradition of getting together with your favorite friends and celebrating your friendship. Exchange fun little gifts, go out for drinks, or meet up at a restaurant to enjoy a fun pressure-free evening!

Your first Valentine’s Day after divorce is a big milestone, and it can sometimes be a painful one. It’s normal to experience a roller coaster of emotions during any romantic holidays, but it will get easier every year. Try to make a plan ahead of time so that you won’t be scrambling to find something to do when the holiday rolls around. Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel upbeat and happy if you’re still grieving the end of your marriage. Acknowledge your feelings and find healthy ways to process them. Consider taking some time for pampering yourself with your favorite foods, movies, or a little treat. You can even take a little vacation on your own and explore a new area. Create some new traditions with your children and make fun memories together. Or finally, you might consider making a plan with your besties to celebrate Galentine’s/Palentine’s Day together so nobody feels left out or alone. Hopefully, you can make some plans that you’ll actually look forward to so that this holiday winds up being a fun night for you instead or an emotionally difficult one.

Dating After a Divorce: Pitfalls to Avoid

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Dating after a divorce can seem a little overwhelming at first, but you’ll get more comfortable with it as time goes on. When you first get your divorce finalized, it’s important to take plenty of time before jumping back into the dating world. You need to make sure that you are ready for it emotionally. It’s also important to pace yourself with a new relationship and take things slowly. Don’t ignore red flags if they come up in the relationship. And finally, avoid trash-talking your ex or even talking too much about them at all. It’s best just to focus on the new relationship! Hopefully, you can meet somebody new that is a great fit for you and you can begin a beautiful relationship together.

Dating After a Divorce: Pitfalls to Avoid When Getting Back into the Dating Pool

Jumping In Before You’re Ready

One of the common pitfalls to watch out for when dating after a divorce is jumping in before you’re ready. You need to make sure that you’ve fully healed from the stress of your divorce. It can take time to heal and to get back into the correct mindset for dating somebody new. Don’t rush things, take as much time as you need. You need to be in a clear headspace and ready to open yourself up to somebody new.

Moving Too Quickly

Another issue to avoid when dating after a divorce is moving too quickly with a new relationship. It’s important to take things slow. Make sure that you feel totally comfortable with your new partner before getting intimate with them. If they try to pressure you to move more quickly than you feel comfortable with, leave. A respectful partner won’t pressure you.

Ignoring Red Flags

Ignoring red flags is another pitfall to watch out for when dating after a divorce. Some people feel like they need to find somebody new quickly. So they’ll settle for a partner that maybe doesn’t really fit their needs. Or maybe even a partner that has red flags. Take your time and get to know somebody before getting serious. If they have any red flags like being overly controlling, disrespectful, or unhinged, get out early.

Trash Talking the Ex

Finally, one very common mistake that a lot of people make when dating after a divorce is trash-talking the ex. Even just talking about them too much can be a turn-off. Your new partner doesn’t want to hear all the dirt on your ex. It makes you come off as sounding petty and resentful. Try to focus on your new partner instead. If you’d like to share that you’re divorced, that’s perfectly fine, but don’t revolve the entire date around your divorce stress or your ex. Dating after a divorce can be intimidating at first, but it’s an important stage in the healing process. Some people are thrilled at the finalization of their divorce while others grieve. But divorce can be a great reason to get a fresh start in life. Find somebody new that is a better fit for you and build a life together. Just make sure that you’ve taken plenty of time to process your emotions from the divorce. In addition, take things slowly with your new partner. This will give you plenty of time to spot potential red flags. Don’t ignore these if you see them. And finally, don’t talk too much about your ex, but instead focus on learning things about your new partner. Hopefully, you can find somebody that is a perfect fit for you!

Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Running into your ex after a divorce might be an experience you’re absolutely dreading. If you and your ex parted ways in a bitter divorce battle, the thought of running into them might have you sweating. But unfortunately, if you live in the same area, the chances are high that you’ll see them at some point. If you have children together, it’s even more likely that you’ll see them at events for your kids. Establish boundaries at the outset of your divorce. Keep living your life though – don’t avoid places you enjoy just because your ex might be there. If you do see them, try not to make a scene or get into an argument. Remember, taking the high road is almost always the best policy. Hopefully, you and your ex will learn to co-exist peacefully in the same city and you won’t fear running into them forever.

Running Into Your Ex After a Divorce

Establish Boundaries

Running into your ex after a divorce can be a bit of a shock if you see them unexpectedly. However, you can establish boundaries with them during the divorce itself. If there are certain classes you take together, or activities you both participate in, you can figure out whether or not to continue these. If you do not want to see each other, you can establish that early. You can handle children’s events the same way. If you’d rather not run into them, plan to divvy up events so that you don’t overlap with each other.

Keep Living Your Life

After running into your ex after a divorce, you might be tempted to avoid that place where you saw them. But really, it’s possible to run into them anywhere. If you avoid every place you think that they might show up, you’ll end up limiting your own happiness. Keep living your life. If you run into them, you run into them. Avoiding places you enjoy will just make you unhappy in the end, and gives them all the power that you fought hard for.

Don’t Make a Scene

If the dreaded event occurs, try not to make a scene. Running into your ex after a divorce might be a shock to the system. But making a public scene is really not the solution. You’ve already hashed out your divorce, so arguing after the fact will get you nowhere. You two got divorced for a reason, it’s unlikely that you’ll change their minds about anything or that they’ll change yours.

Take the High Road

Running into your ex after a divorce can happen anytime. And it’s possible that you’ll also meet their new partner or they’ll meet your new partner. It’s always best to take the high road. Try to speak with confidence and don’t stoop to arguing with them or acting bitter. The happier you seem after your divorce, the more they’ll realize what a great catch you were that they let go. Act politely, calmly, and with confidence, and keep the encounter short. Running into your ex after a divorce is just one of many painful milestones that you probably will face during a separation. However, living in fear of it will only make you unhappy. Don’t avoid places where you think you might run into your ex because then you’ll just be limiting your own freedom. You can set boundaries at the outset of your divorce so that you know you won’t run into them any more than is needed. If it does happen, try to remain calm and speak with confidence. Don’t make a public scene or try to get into an argument over your divorce. Take the high road and show that you have moved on maturely. Hopefully, you won’t run into them often, but when you do you’ll be able to handle it with confidence and grace.