Sharing Spring Break Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Spring break is a fun week off of school for kids. The weather is finally getting a little warmer and it allows for a nice break before the rush of the end of the school year. While most plan for spring break all year with a trip to the beach or an amusement park, some families are sharing spring break for the first time.

As we approach the mid-semester break, let’s discuss the issues that you may be facing for the first time since your separation or divorce.

Sharing Spring Break: First Year Adjustments 

First Time Traveling With(out) You

Maybe your ex has a trip planned for part of spring break. When she mentioned the idea of taking the kids a few hours away for a couple of days, it seemed like no big deal. But, as the day came closer, you’re starting to have second thoughts. Unless there are safety concerns, relax and let your children enjoy their vacation. It might be the first, but it won’t be the last. Sharing spring break means your turn is coming; just look forward to getting to spend that time together.

New Significant Others

Before sharing your new significant other with your children, please remember your ex-spouse and how they will feel. Often times, school breaks coincide with trips that your new significant other will be joining you on. Sharing spring break (and sharing your children) means you’ll need to get permission from your ex before you continue with this. 

Conversely, if your ex wants to bring their new significant other on their vacation with the kids, think about how you’d feel if the roles were reversed. Keep in mind, each family and situation is different and there is no definite timeline to follow.

Spending Spring Break with Friends

As children grow, there is a chance they will want to spend spring break with a friend’s family on their vacation. This is normal, but might be tough. You may both have to agree to let your child spend spring break away from you. Sometimes, sharing spring break doesn’t necessarily mean with just your ex!

Keep in mind your custody agreements with your ex and the arrangements you have for weekly custody. Traveling outside of these agreements could create legal issues. Sharing spring break is a good way to enjoy stress-free time with your children. Make sure to communicate with your ex to create a smooth week. This is a good time to understand the details of your agreements and enjoy quality time with your kids!

Can Sleep Divorce Save Your Marriage?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Sleep divorce is a growing trend where couples sleep in separate beds or bedrooms. For a long time, the norm was for couples to sleep in separate beds, and trends in co-sleeping differ across cultures. If you and your partner have different sleeping styles, preferences, or schedules, it can disrupt your sleep to share a bed. Lack of sleep can lead to irritability, resentment, and relationship trouble. So for many, choosing to sleep in separate bedrooms actually improves their marriage. However, it’s important to note that while there are benefits to having your own sleeping space, there can also be some drawbacks. For example, you might have money or space constraints. Additionally, it can dampen your intimacy unless you and your partner put in effort to keep the spark alive. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, but it’s important that both partners be on the same page. Otherwise, it can create insecurities or resentment. Hopefully, you and your spouse can weigh the options and decide what sleeping arrangement is best for you.

Can Sleep Divorce Save Your Marriage: Separate Bed Might Be the Key to Relationship Bliss

What Does It Mean?

Sleep divorce, sleep separation, or alternative sleeping arrangements all refer to the idea of spouses sleeping in different beds or bedrooms. Different cultures have always had different norms when it comes to cohabitation, and trends come and go. While it’s often seen as a symbol of intimacy in a marriage to share a bed, the reality is that sometimes that’s not an ideal sleeping situation for both partners.

Why Do It?

The trend of sleep divorce is gaining popularity in recent years, although the stigma of the word divorce can still leave some couples nervous about trying it. However, sleep is incredibly important for our overall physical and mental health. If you and your partner work different shifts, you can experience a lot of disruptions to your sleep. Similarly, if your partner prefers a cold bedroom, darker bedroom, white noise, etc when sleeping, those preferences don’t always match up. Couples also struggle with sleep if one partner snores loudly, uses a CPAP machine, or tosses and turns frequently.

Pros

If you and your partner struggle with having different sleeping preferences, or otherwise disrupt one another’s rest, separate bedrooms or beds might allow you both to get a more restful night’s sleep. You can stretch out and have more personal space, have your bedroom exactly the way you like it, and sleep without disturbances from your partner. Additionally, you might become more intentional about intimacy and begin to reconnect more as a couple.

Cons

While there are many positive to sleep divorce, there can also be some drawbacks to consider. For example, for many there are space or financial constraints. It can be difficult to find room in your house for two separate beds or bedrooms. You might also find that it can be lonely going to bed without your partner. And of course, for some, it can lead to a decrease in intimacy. Things like cuddling and physical touch are important in a relationship, and you and your spouse will have to make extra effort to bring those things into your marriage if you are sleeping separately.

When considering whether or not a sleep divorce is the right option for you, it’s important that both partners be on the same page. If only one of you wants the separation, it can lead to insecurities, loneliness, and resentment from the other partner who might feel abandoned. And sleeping separately can decrease your intimacy with one another if you aren’t intentional about connecting. However, if you both are open to the idea, sleeping separately can have a lot of positive effects on your relationship. Getting better rest means that you both will have more energy for your relationship without any resentment over poor sleep. For many, the idea of sleeping separately feels stigmatized. However, if it’s the best option for your relationship, it isn’t really anybody else’s b

Post-Divorce Budget: Managing Your Money

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Getting your new life after your divorce going is easier said than done. In fact, there’s a few things you’ll need to do beforehand. Most notably, this includes setting up a post-divorce budget. Having a good budget can really help you avoid financial stress and begin your new life on the right foot…

Post-Divorce Budget: How To Adapt

Revisit your old one

The building blocks of your post-divorce budget can really come from the old one you had. Now, you’ll certainly have to make some adjustments. After all, you’re probably going from having two sources of income, to only yours. However, there might also be some expenses which you don’t have to worry about, or maybe even some new ones to consider.

Plus, there’s a pretty easy way of visualizing this starter budget. Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper, and have one side be for your income, and another for expenses. Fill each side out, and then add the totals up at the bottom. This quick draft budget can help you see if your finances are in good shape, or if you need to make some changes.

Focus on the necessities

If you find that your post-divorce budget isn’t looking so good, then it’s time to make some cutbacks. That means that you’ll have to focus on the necessities over the more optional things. Basically, you’ll want to prioritize your needs (clothing, food, shelter, and transport) over your wants.

Still, even for your needs, you don’t have to go crazy. For instance, you might need clothes, but that isn’t an excuse to go on a big upscale shopping spree. Buy the things you can comfortably afford, and cut out those other things which are just draining money. This can help you balance out your budget.

Avoid big purchases

A big purchase can really mess with your post-divorce budget. For example, you might be tempted to move to a new house or get a new car as a sort-of kick starter for your new life. However, these kinds of purchases can really hurt your wallet, and leave you stuck in a worse situation in the long run.