Divorce Logistics: What To Consider

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

There’s a lot more to a divorce than you may initially think. In particular, you’ll need to consider some divorce logistics that you have to sort out. These factors will be important for making sure you can give your divorce the attention it needs…

Divorce Logistics: Important Elements

Place to stay

One important part of divorce logistics is where you will be staying. Some couples will decide to keep living in the same home while handling the divorce. Usually, this is because they can keep the peace and stay out of each other’s way. This makes it a lot easier for both parties to focus on the divorce.

However, you may not be able to do this. Instead, it may be the case that you need to find some other place to live. While an apartment may be the most apparent solution, you can also reach out to family too. Staying with family can help you save a bit of extra money, which is quite helpful.

Time off work

Your job is also going to be a divorce logistics factor. There’s going to be a lot of times when you’ll need to take care of something which falls on a workday. As such, you’ll need to ensure you can make the time for them by being able to take time off of work.

Most people will make use of things like vacation or sick days to do this. Still, it’s good to try and talk to your boss or supervisor about what’s going on. Many times, they’ll understand what you’re going through and the time you need to take care of it. So long as you can get your work done, they’ll probably be willing to help you out when you need to take some time off.

Watching the kids

Having kids can really change how you approach your divorce. They also are another thing that you need to factor some divorce logistics around. With both work and the divorce, you and your ex probably won’t be able to always watch the kids when needed.

Therefore, you want to make sure someone will be able to watch the kids when needed. Friends and family are great for this. If they can, they’ll usually try and help you out by watching your kids. Of course, well-reviewed babysitters are also good should your friends and family not be available.

How-to Regain Your Confidence After Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can really do a number on your confidence and self-esteem. You may feel like you have completely lost your identity. The divorce may have shattered your confidence. This can really affect your mental health. It may take time to get that back. By taking proactive steps, you can regain your confidence after your divorce.

How-to Regain Your Confidence After Divorce: Post-Divorce Healing

Support System

One way to help regain your confidence after divorce is by having a strong support system. Remember that there are people who know and love you. Surround yourself with people who can be beneficial if your overall health and well-being. Being social will not only help you reestablish your life, but also your self-esteem and confidence. This will allow you to show others around you that you are not permanently broken and that this life experience will not define you.

Consider reaching out to people who knew you before before you met your former spouse. You can reconnect with people who are far away distance-wise by using platforms like Skype, Zoom or Facetime. Even during COVID, you can get creative and reconnect with an old workout buddy by using a workout app. The most important thing to remember is that your self-worth is not dependent on your former partner. In the same way, you were a good friend before your partner and you will be a good friend after them too. Your friends will be able to help remind you of all of the great things about yourself that you may not be able to see right now.

Reestablish Your Identity

You will also begin to retain your confidence after divorce by reestablishing your identity. This may mean getting involved in activities you previously enjoyed, or completely reinventing yourself. Start by decorating your space to feel like you. You can do this whether you are still living in the same place as you did when you were married, or if you moved to a new place. Either way, think of this as a fresh start and make your home express your own personality. Think about different hobbies you have been wanting to try, and go try them. You may find something you really enjoy to fill up your time.

In the same way, also participate in things you have previously enjoyed as well. Make a list of all of the things you loved doing and what made you happy. Do you love playing tennis? Getting back on the courts may be just want you need for a confidence boost. This will also give you a boost of serotonin to make you feel happy and feel better. Sometimes, the most important part of reestablishing your identity is just remembering who you are deep down inside.

Divorce can certainly be hard on your self-esteem. However, it is possible to regain your confidence after your divorce. Start by finding a good support system to lean on, and find identity again. Before long, you will be feeling confident once more.

How-to Know if You’re Ready For Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You are at the point that you are questioning your marriage. Perhaps there has been infidelity, lack of trust, abuse or loss of love. Even though all of the signs point to yes, you are still likely questioning whether or not you should get a divorce. Before making the final decision about divorce, there are things you should think about to know if you’re ready for divorce.

How-to Know if You’re Ready For Divorce: Questions to Consider

Do You Have Feelings for Your Partner?

It is very common for people who want to get a divorce still have feelings for their spouse. However, there has been something that has happened that has caused a lack of closeness and intimacy. If you fall into this category, it may be best to try and work things out with your partner. This could prevent you from pulling the trigger if you really are not ready for divorce. Otherwise, you may end up in a situation where you are are feeling a deep loss, and feel worse off than where you were before.

Are You Just Threatening Divorce?

Some people throw out empty threats of divorce when they are mad, or may think or say things they do not mean during an argument. Other times, people can use the threat of divorce to hold power over the other spouse. This is not a healthy way to to act in a relationship. Holding empty threats over someone makes you loose your credibility for the future, plus it is destructive to the relationship.

If you are truly ready for divorce, you need to be able to be at the point that you feel that way over a sustained period of time. You need to be able to truly say that you are ready to close that chapter of your life. You will need to know there is nothing more you can do or give to this relationship. Also, you will need to be able to discuss this with your spouse without blame.

Are You Ready to Handle the Consequences?

There will certainly be negative consequences from divorce. Many people have dreams of a happy family, but sometimes this is not the case. However, divorce brings pain, perhaps even to your children. Keep in mind that it is not worth staying in an unsafe or unhealthy marriage just to prevent other people feeling pain. Just know that if you are ready for divorce, you have to be ready for the consequences that follow.

For example, if you are only wanting a divorce because you are just bored with your spouse, think these following points through. Are you okay with your lifestyle or finances changing? Can you accept your children’s anger and sadness? Can you accept times of insecurity, fear, or the unknown? Are you willing to mentally and emotionally let go of your spouse? While you will waver with your emotions, you need to know that overall, you will be able to answer “yes” to these things to know you are ready for divorce.

How-to Successfully Move Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Following your divorce, it may be tempting to move somewhere new to get a “fresh start.” However, it may not be all that easy to move post-divorce. As such, it’s good to know what steps you can take to improve your chances of success…

How-to Successfully Move Post-Divorce: Helpful Steps

Consider why you want to move

Before you get your move officially underway, it’s important to consider why exactly you want to move post-divorce. There’s a lot of reasons as to why someone may say they want to move. Some want to start over somewhere new away from where their divorce took place. Others believe that there will be better opportunities for them to start doing what they really love instead.

Still, ask yourself if you really need to move in order to do this. Remember, you can make a lot of those positive changes even if you don’t move. You may also need to make extra considerations about your kids if you’re a co-parent.  You’ll only want to move when you’re certain that it’ll be best for you.

Budget ahead of time

Should you decide to move post-divorce, then you’ll want to start working on a budget. Moving isn’t always cheap, especially if you’re going out-of-state. This can make things a bit complicated when coming off of a divorce. Therefore, it’s good to ensure your finances can handle a move.

Consider not just the expected costs, like down payments or rent, but also any additional living costs as well. This can include extra fees, or things like new furniture, utilities, etc. You’ll also want to factor in moving costs, like moving truck rentals, movers, and gas for longer trips.

Talk to the kids

If you’re a single parent, then one of the hardest things can be getting your kids ready for a move post-divorce. The divorce itself already may have caused a lot of change for them. Now, they may have to leave behind things like the school and friends that they were familiar with.

One way to help your kids deal with this, especially if they’re older, is by getting them involved. Ask them for their thoughts of where they’d like to move, or what they’d want out of a school or community. You should also encourage them to keep in touch with their old friends. This will help them feel like an active part of the move, instead of just an unwilling participant.