February 2021 - Anderson Divorce Attorney

Your First Valentine’s Day After Divorce: Enjoy the Holiday Differently

Focus on Your Kids

If you have children, your first Valentine’s Day after divorce could just focus on them instead. Make a big to-do and celebrate the holiday. It’s a day for celebrating love after all, and who loves you more than your children? Decorate the house and surprise them with Valentine’s themed breakfast. Make Valentine’s cards together to send to family and friends. Gorge on candy and watch a movie while having a picnic on a blanket on the floor. You can make it a special and loving memory without focusing on being single.

Celebrate Galentines Day

If you’re trying to survive your first Valentine’s Day after divorce, lean on your friends. So-called “Galentine’s Day” is a day meant for loving your girlfriends. Whether they’re single or in a relationship, take February 13th to focus on your friendship and celebrate one another. Go out for a fancy meal and clink champagne glasses. You could exchange flowers and chocolate together. Take some time to spread the love with the people in your life who have stood by you through thick and thin.

Take Yourself on a Date

If it’s your first Valentine’s Day after divorce, you could always take yourself out for a date yourself. Or bring a fancy date in if you aren’t comfortable being alone in public quite yet. Order takeout from your favorite restaurant and get a bottle of your favorite wine. And don’t forget dessert! Conversely, you could go see a movie alone – nobody will notice that you’re by yourself once the lights go down. You could even just relax and take time to do something that you love. For example, a fancy bubble bath with relaxing music.

Surviving your first Valentine’s Day after divorce can be daunting to think about. But it doesn’t have to be a source of stress. You can still appreciate the love of the holiday even if you’re single. Make special memories with your children, or go out with your friends and makeover each other. You could also take yourself on a date and take time to do things that you love. Remember that you got divorced for a reason, and even though holidays such as this can be hard, you made the decision that was right for you.

If you are heading down the road to divorce, you may be feeling overwhelmed. It’s hard to know what to expect when facing divorce. You need to emotionally prepare for divorce by addressing the various feelings you’ll be having. Anger is a big factor when going through a divorce, but letting go of the idea of “winning” will help you in the long run. Also, let yourself grieve all the changes you’ll be facing. Also, let go of guilt, especially when it comes to your children. And finally, let go of shame because there is nothing wrong with making a decision that is best for your family. Mentally prepare yourself for the emotions you might be feeling so you can maintain your well-being.

Emotionally Prepare for Divorce: Facing Your Feelings

Let Go of the Idea of “Winning”

One of the strongest emotions that you might be feeling is anger. Divorce can be so draining mentally, and tensions get heightened. You or your spouse might let your anger boil over from time to time and say hurtful things. Emotionally prepare for divorce by trying to let go of the idea of “winning” the divorce. Because this is a response to your anger, it’s not the most productive way to approach a divorce. Your ultimate goal is to create a better life for yourself and your children. If you come into a divorce wanting to “win”, you may not see clearly and be able to get perspective on the things that will help you all be happier.

Let Yourself Grieve

Your entire life is changing, emotionally prepare for divorce by accepting your grief. Perhaps you had your life all planned out and this came as a sudden shock. Or maybe you saw the divorce coming on for the past few years. Whatever your situation is, a divorce is still a complete change in your life. You’re allowed to grieve the life you thought you’d be having when you got married. Take time to really let yourself feel emotional about the divorce.

Let Go of Guilt

Guilt can be a huge factor when you emotionally prepare for divorce. Especially when there are children involved. Many parents feel tremendous guilt over divorcing. However, they often overlook that in the long run, their children might be much happier. Children pick up on stress and anger. If you and your partner are constantly fighting in front of them, divorce is probably healthier. Seeing you and your partner co-parenting healthily and happily will be better for them.

Let Go of Shame

There is a stigma of shame around divorce that really shouldn’t exist. The reasons for your divorce are nobody’s business unless you feel like sharing. When you emotionally prepare for divorce, try to let go of shame. You are making a decision that is better for yourself. You’re taking charge of your life and giving yourself a chance to be happier. If you have children, they may see you taking control as a show of how strong you are. As a result, they’ll respect you more for going forward with a divorce.

When you emotionally prepare for divorce, you need to be aware of all the feelings you might experiences. Try to let go of your anger and the notion of “winning” the divorce. Focus on the end goal of a happier family. Prepare for grief because your whole world is changing. Let go of guilt, especially when it comes to children because you are ultimately making the healthier choice for them. And finally, let go of shame. You’re making a change for the best, and you should be proud of yourself for taking control of your life.