If you are divorced and still hung up on your ex, it can be hard to get through the day to day of your new life. It’s normal to experience some emotional ups and downs during the divorce process and after it is finalized. But for some, moving forward can be more difficult than for others. And it can take some time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t let anybody pressure you to move on before you feel ready. Take time to confront your grief about your marriage ending. Establish healthy routines for yourself like getting out of the house, getting exercise, focusing on your own happiness, and taking time for your mental health. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things instead of isolating yourself at home. Finally, lean on your support group or consider therapy to really get to the bottom of your lingering feelings. Hopefully, you can get the support you need to begin moving forward.
Hung Up on Your Ex: What to Do and How to Begin to Move On
Confront Your Feelings
If you feel that you’re hung up on your ex, it’s important to really accept your emotions. Many try to deny how they feel, or pretend that a divorce is not a big deal. However, even if you decided mutually to break up, the end of a marriage is still a reason to grieve. Not only are you losing an important person from your everyday life, but a future that you envisioned for yourself for a long time. Allow yourself to grieve and experience the roller coaster of emotions without trying to tamp them down.
Establish Healthy Routines
Another thing that can be helpful if you’re hung up on your ex is to establish some healthy routines. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is important. So try to get outside for some exercise for a little while every day. Eat a balanced meal filled with whole foods, and drink plenty of water. Finally, try to get into a healthy sleep routine so you can be your happiest self. If you struggle to fall asleep, consider getting blackout curtains or a sleep mask. You might also try things like white noise machines, calming music, or a long bath before bed to wind down.
Try New Things
It’s normal for people who are grieving to want to isolate themselves. But this can make it more difficult to move on. So force yourself out of the house each day, and try to be as social as you can be. Invite friends over or ask them to include you in plans so that you don’t feel lonely. Get out and try new activities, like a new hobby or exercise class. Learning a new skill can help you build some self-confidence, especially if you set some small and attainable goals for yourself. Staying busy means less time to focus on your ex.
Get Support
Finally, if you’re hung up your ex, you’ll need to rely on support from friends and family. If you’re feeling especially emotional, call a friend or ask a neighbor to take a walk with you. Speaking to a therapist can also be extremely helpful. They can help you process your emotions, find healthy coping techniques for stress, and help you navigate the grieving process. If you are feeling depressed, speak to your doctor or find support from a grief counselor. There are also things like support groups or meetup groups for divorcees that might allow you to connect to others who have been in a similar situation.
Moving on after a divorce can take different amounts of time for everybody. Don’t try to compare yourself to friends that have been through divorce. Instead, give yourself some grace and patience, and take as long as you need to. If you feel like you’re hung up on your ex, it can make it even harder to move on from the divorce. Don’t try to cover up your feelings, but instead, confront them. It’s okay to take some time to grieve the end of your marriage. Try to take care of your mental and physical health by getting into healthy routines like exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, and getting plenty of sleep. Try to get out of the house and try new things instead of isolating yourself. Learning new skills can help you build confidence and can be a great distraction from thoughts of your ex. Finally, get support from friends or family, or from a therapist to help you begin to move on. Hopefully, you can start to heal from your divorce and begin focusing on the next chapter of your life without grieving your ex too much.
