How to Overcome Cheating in a Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Trying to overcome cheating in a marriage is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face. If you or your partner has been unfaithful, it may take some time to figure out how you’d like to move forward. If you choose to continue your marriage, you’ll need to take time to think things over. Make sure that you give yourself time and space to experience all your feelings. Don’t try to get revenge on your partner as this will only make things more complicated. And finally, seek outside help from a friend or professional counselor. Hopefully, if you choose to move forward with your marriage, you’ll have the tools to make it successful.

How to Overcome Cheating in a Marriage: Moving Forward

Take Some Time to Think

The first step in learning to overcome cheating in a marriage is to take some time to yourself. Give yourself some space to think about your relationship. If you were the cheating spouse, try to identify the reasons that led up to the cheating. Figure out if you’re remorseful about what happened and if you want to move forward. If you’ve been cheated on, really consider if you’d like to move forward with working on your marriage. You need to decide if this will even be possible.

Feel Your Feelings

You also want to give yourself some time to feel all your feelings if you’re trying to overcome cheating in a marriage. For example, you might feel sad, angry, confused, hurt, or any number of emotions. If you’re the one who cheated you may be in shock that it happened, and confused about why you let it happen. Give yourself time to experience all of those emotions before making any major decisions about your relationship.

Don’t Retaliate

Do not take revenge immediately after an affair if you’re wanting to overcome cheating in a marriage. Your first instinct may be to retaliate and hurt your spouse the way you’ve been hurt. For example, you may want to trash talk or tell everybody about what happened. However, you need to remember that your friends and family will have strong feelings about what happened and will most likely try to give you the advice to sway you one way or another. You also won’t ever be able to take back the things you say later. In addition, you may even consider getting back at your spouse by having an affair yourself. However, this complicates matters and probably won’t make you feel less hurt. You’ll just be spreading more hurt and division into your marriage.

Seek Outside Help

The biggest help to overcome cheating in a marriage is to seek outside assistance. A trained therapist can offer couples counseling which can help you and your spouse identify ways to make your marriage stronger. In addition, they can give you ways to communicate more openly. There are plenty of in-person therapists and online therapists available right now that can give you assistance. You can confide in your close friends as well, but be careful who you tell. Close friends and family are often very protective of you and might find it hard to forgive your partner later if you decide to move forward with your marriage.

Trying to overcome cheating in a marriage takes time and dedication. You and your partner both need to be equally focused on moving forward in honesty and open communication. Take time to really think about how you’d like your relationship to move forward. Next, take some time to really experience the emotional roller coaster you’re on. You might be feelings guilt, shame, sadness, anger, and many other things but that is ok. Give yourself time to feel them all. Don’t try to get revenge or you will just make more problems for your marriage. And finally, seek outside help if you’re wanting to move forward in a healthy way. While it can be one of the most difficult times of your life, many couples are stronger in the end by overcoming infidelity.

How-to Begin Healing from Adultery

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

You feel betrayed, hurt, and confused. You found out that your spouse has been cheating on you behind your back. In the moment, it may feel like this pain and suffering will never end. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will be able to pick up the pieces and move forward. Whether or not you choose to stick it out or part ways with your spouse is up to you. There is no perfect, one-size-fits-all answer. However, it is important to know what steps you can take to begin healing from adultery.

How-to Begin Healing from Adultery: Picking Up the Pieces

Emotions

If you want to start healing from adultery, you will have to work through multiple stages first. You will feel an overwhelming amount of pain and sadness. This could come with swings of emotions where you are angry at your spouse, then yourself, and back to your spouse again. This could all happen within a matter of moments. You will have lost all trust and have shattered dreams for the future.

During this time, do not make any rash decisions. When you are in emotional pain, you will not be able to make wise decisions at this point. Do not jump into wanting to file for divorce, hurting yourself or getting revenge. Wait until your emotions have leveled out, or you may make a decision that you regret, but cannot take back. There is no set time frame as to how long this stage will last. Your spouse will need to be patient with you during this time. The way you work through this stage is unique to you. Lean on others for support or seek a councilor. Make sure to practice self-care, get enough sleep and eat healthy.

Therapy

It will be helpful to get therapy to work through healing from adultery. While you may be tempted to seek help on your own, it may be better to get therapy as a couple if you are considering continuing the marriage. You will have broken trust in your relationship. Seeking help together could help to rebuild this trust. There have already been enough secrets in this marriage. Individual therapy does not work to rebuild that trust. In fact, it may even make things more complicated. If you are wanting to save your marriage, you need to work through things with your spouse and not apart from them. Sometimes it takes one spouse hearing the other spouse saying why he or she is choosing this relationship and marriage versus giving up.

Working on Your Relationship

While the spouse who cheated on the other spouse is completely at fault for the affair, it is good to look at all of the other surrounding factors. Were there things that were broken in the marriage that could be worked on? Perhaps both spouses lost interest in one another. Try and address the things that were broken so that if you do continue the marriage, these things are not a continuous pain point.

It is also important to work on communication. For this to work, you must be able to communicate how you feel. You do not want underlying feelings to pop up 15 years from now about the hurt you have been sweeping under the rug. Being able to communicate openly will also help to rebuild trust.

Moving On After Infidelity

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you and your spouse are in the process of moving on after infidelity, it’s important to be patient with one another. An affair can truly shake a relationship to its core. But if you have decided to forgive your partner and continue with the marriage, it’s important to establish some ground rules moving forward. Open communication will be incredibly important, as will setting boundaries for the relationship. It’s also helpful to work on building back your self-confidence as well. Finally, seek professional help through a therapist or marriage counselor. Hopefully, they can give you some useful tips for learning to rebuild that trust in your partner. While some couples don’t survive infidelity, others are able to work together to get through this difficult time and end up even stronger on the other side.

Moving On After Infidelity: Learning to Trust Again

Establish Open Communication

When moving on after infidelity, it’s important to establish a policy of open communication. It can be difficult to learn to trust your partner again after they cheat on you. Especially if it involved lying to you about their whereabouts or being secretive with their behavior. Working on your communication skills can help you ensure that you are each filling one another’s emotional cups in the future.

Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is also important when moving on after infidelity. While you might be able to move past this instance of cheating, your partner needs to understand that this is not the type of mistake that can happen more than once. Establish clear boundaries about what the consequences are if they cheat on you again. Additionally, it might be helpful to ensure that they and the person they cheated with break all contact.

Build Self-Confidence

Building up your self-confidence when moving on after infidelity can take some time. It’s easy for your self-esteem to take a hit if your partner cheats on you. But it’s important to remind yourself that you are not at fault. Still, it can take some time to get back your old confidence. Try out some new hobbies and set new goals for yourself. Reaching milestones can give you a boost of confidence.

Seek Professional Help

Finally, moving on after infidelity can be easier if you enlist the help of professionals. Marriage counseling can be hugely beneficial for you and your spouse. A counselor will help you rebuild your trust and can give you advice for navigating hardships in your relationship as well as communicating more effectively. However, it’s also helpful to see a therapist on your own to help with any residual trust or confidence issues. Moving on after an affair can be a process that takes some time. And it’s not usually a straight line. You might hit other bumps in the road along the way. However, if you and your spouse are determined to move past the cheating and make your marriage work, you’ll need to establish open communication from here on. You might also do well setting some boundaries for your relationship. Work on building back your self-confidence, and don’t be afraid to reach out and get professional help when you need it. Hopefully, you and your spouse will be able to move on from the affair and be able to rebuild your marriage even stronger than before.

Potential Signs of Infidelity in Your Marriage

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Looking for potential signs of infidelity in your marriage can get you into trouble. While nobody wants to be blindsided by a cheating spouse, it’s also important not to jump to conclusions. There are lots of reasons why your partner might be changing their routine. However, if you notice lots of these signs together, it could be a red flag. For example, if you see changes in their personality or their schedule. Or if you catch them in lies. Finally, if your gut is telling you something is wrong, dig a little deeper. The best way to figure out if a partner is being unfaithful is to have an honest conversation with them. Hopefully, your fears are unfounded and there is a completely benign reason for any concerning behavior.

Potential Signs of Infidelity in Your Marriage: Red Flags

Warning

Before you go looking for potential signs of infidelity, it’s important to remember that none of these indicators are foolproof. There are lots of reasons why a spouse might change their routine or be displaying personality changes that have nothing to do with cheating. Don’t jump to conclusions or condemn them without digging deeper and finding out for sure whether or not your feelings are justified.

Changes in Personality or Routine

One of the first potential signs of infidelity might be that you notice a change in personality or routine. For example, if your partner is suddenly on a health kick, or mentions a new “friend” at work in every conversation. Or if they suddenly seem distant, guilty, or on edge. If they begin staying late or working unusual hours, it can also be a reason to dig deeper.

Lying

Another potential sign of infidelity is if you catch your spouse in a lie. If they lie to you about their whereabouts, for example, it can be a potentially bad sign. Or if you sense that they are lying about who they’re spending time with. If they suddenly get overly protective of you using their phone or computer, it might be they are hiding something.

Your Gut Feeling

Finally, one of the most important potential signs of infidelity is your gut feeling. If your instincts are telling you that something is wrong with your marriage, it probably is. It may or may not be cheating, but it needs to be addressed either way. While your gut feeling certainly isn’t proof, it’s worth listening to. There are a lot of potential signs of infidelity that you might spot in your marriage over the years. However, none of these are definitive proof that your spouse is cheating. If you have a sense that there is infidelity, it’s important to sit down and have an honest conversation to get to the bottom of things. Try not to jump to conclusions until you know for sure whether or not your partner is cheating. If you notice concerning behaviors like changes in routine, changes in personality, or lies, it can be alarming. And if your gut is telling you that something is off, it can be stressful. However, it’s important to find out the truth before taking any drastic measures. Hopefully, there is nothing wrong and you and your spouse can move forward with more honest and open communication.

Financial Infidelity: Potential Signs

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When people think of a spouse cheating, most of the time they think of physical encounters. However, financial infidelity is something which not only occurs, but is also on the rise. Knowing some common signs of this infidelity can help you see if it’s occurring in your marriage…

Financial Infidelity: Unconventional Cheating

Missing cash

Have you noticed money missing from a joint account you and your spouse share? Does your bank statement show a lot of withdrawals you don’t know about? If so, you might want to be careful. Missing money can be a potential sign of financial infidelity.

Now, sometimes a spouse will take out money for something and forget about it. That’s totally normal. However, constant withdrawals for varying amounts can be reason for concern. When you notice this, you’ll want to ask your spouse about what’s going on. In the meantime, try to keep your money in a separate account to keep it secure.

Many new purchases

If your spouse is making a lot of new, constant purchases all the time, that can also be a sign of financial infidelity. Of course, people like to treat themselves every now and again. It becomes an issue when it seems like your spouse is making a purchase every other day. Usually, these purchases can be very cheap, very expensive, or somewhere in-between.

Your spouse might even try to hide these purchases from you. They may always try and get the mail or packages, or use a separate bank account to prevent the purchases from showing up on your end. Sometimes, they might even use something like a P.O. box so they never arrive at the house!

They don’t like financial talk

Talking about finances is a part of any good marriage. Plus, if you feel like you’ve noticed signs of financial infidelity, you’ll want to bring them up to your spouse. Yet, what if your spouse gets upset when you try to have these conversations? This can actually be another sign that financial infidelity is going on.

If you talk finances to your spouse, they might be worried you’re going to bring up their actions. This can make them want to avoid talking about it all together. Still, it’s important to do so if you want to fix this problem together. Not doing so will strain things even more.

Can My Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you’ve been cheated on, you might be wondering if your marriage can survive infidelity. The bigger question to ask though is if you want that or not. Some couples decide mutually that they want to make the marriage work, while others decide on divorce. Take some time to figure out what your goal is. Talk it over with your spouse and see if they are on the same page. Seek the advice of a marriage counselor to help you resolve issues and move past the trauma. And finally, if you both want to get past it, put in the work. Marriage is hard work, so it takes some effort to make it successful. Only you and your partner can decide if you can move past infidelity.

Can My Marriage Survive Infidelity? How to Move Forward

Decide What You Want

After infidelity, you need to take some time to decide what you want out of your marriage. Some couples decide that they cannot get over these issues, and wind up getting a divorce. If you are determined to make it work though, think through what your goals are for the marriage. For example, think about whether you will be able to move past the cheating. Will you be able to trust again?

Talk It Over

Once you decide what you’d like to do after infidelity, talk things over with your spouse. Try to sit down for a calm conversation to get their views. It’s important to get to the bottom of the reasons for the cheating in the first place. If they do want to work it out and move forward, how will they deal with future hardships? If they do not want to move forward with the marriage, try to respect their decision. Keep in mind that being in a marriage where you put in all the effort and get none in return isn’t fair to you.

Seek Support

No matter which way you and your spouse decide to go after infidelity, a marriage counselor can help. For example, they can give you great ideas on how to improve communication. In addition, they can help you work together to achieve goals or to even decide what those goals should be. It’s best to see a counselor both as a couple, but also individually.

Put In the Work

Finally, if you are determined to move forward and work things out after infidelity, you need to put in the work. You and your partner won’t be able to magically forget about what happened. Instead, you’ll need to check in with one another constantly and keep up with counseling for a while. You and your partner will hopefully be able to get closer after this and strengthen your marriage even more.

Only you and your spouse can tell if you’ll be able to survive infidelity. A lot might depend on the reason for it in the first place. It also might depend on your family circumstances, whether you have children and your finances. All of these factors should play a role, but ultimately you need to decide if you feel like you can move on. Then you need to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. If you both want to work things out, seek the advice of a marriage counselor. They will likely give you suggestions on how to strengthen your communication, which you’ll need to put into practice every day. You and your partner both need to re-commit to the marriage together. Hopefully, if you both decide you want to move forward, you can become even stronger in the long run.