Guardian Ad Litem: What Does it Mean?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
The Guardian Ad Litem program varies from state to state. However, the Guardian ad litem, or GAD, is a person who is appointed by the court that represents the interests of a child. GADs can be legal representatives or laypeople, depending on the situation. However, regardless of their status, their job is to advocate for the best interests of a child. This might be in custody hearings, abuse cases, or divorce trials. They often speak with the child and conduct interviews with family and do home visits. They are an investigator for the court. This is an important program that benefits many children. In some states, this is a volunteer position. If you care deeply about children and have time to devote to training, consider becoming a guardian ad litem for the court.

Guardian Ad Litem: What Does it Mean and What Do They Do?

What Is a Guardian Ad Litem?

Guardian ad litem in Latin means “guardian for the suit.” A GAD is often court-appointed and serves as an investigator on behalf of children. They are the child’s advocate in court and will do whatever they can to make sure that the child ends up in the healthiest situation possible. In some states GAD’s are attorneys. But in others, this is a volunteer position that laypeople apply for.

Who Needs One?

A guardian ad litem can be involved in any type of case where children need advocates. For example, custody hearings, adoption hearings, abuse or neglect cases. In addition, they might help with hearings involving parental rights, visitation, or emancipation of minors. These types of hearings can be very high-stress and emotional. The needs of the child sometimes get lost in the shuffle. Therefore, a GAD is there to make sure somebody is advocating for the best interests of the child.

What Do They Do?

The guardian ad litem is an investigator for the court. Therefore, they do a lot of background research for the children they advocate for. This often involves lengthy interviews with the child. In addition, they might have interviews with the parents or extended family members, friends of the family, or neighbors. Some do surprise home visits to observe the child in everyday life. After they compile all of this information, they’ll present to the court what they think is the best solution for the child in the case.

Qualifications

The qualifications to become a GAD vary state by state. In some states, laypeople, or non-attorneys can volunteer to become GADs. However, you often have to be at least 25 years or older and must complete training. For example, in South Carolina, a GAD must have a high school diploma and complete nine hours of training. In addition, they’ll also have refresher courses annually. Many times, they also must attend a few custody hearings before they become a GAD to get an idea of what they look like.

A guardian ad litem is the representative of the interests of a child in any type of hearing where a judge feels it will be helpful to have an advocate. Many times, cases involving children are high-stress and emotional. A GAD is there to make sure that somebody has the child’s best interests at heart. They can work with adoption cases, custody hearings, abuse cases, and many other types of trials. They act as an investigator for the court by conducting interviews advocating for what they believe to be the healthiest solution for the child in court. A GAD is an important role in the legal system. If you want to become a guardian ad litem, you’ll likely need to complete training. However, it will be well worth the effort to know that you are making a difference in the life of a child.

Handling the Holidays with a Foster Child

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Handling the holidays with a foster child can feel like a lot to handle, especially if it’s your first year with them. The holidays are overwhelming for everybody, and they can be an especially emotional time. This is no different for foster children. Prepare them upfront about what your traditions are. Introduce your family and friends to them slowly, and preferably ahead of time. Be available to talk if they are feeling emotional. And finally, try to make space for their own beliefs and traditions, even if they’re different from yours. Hopefully, you can make this holiday season magical for your foster child and give them a wonderful memory to hold onto forever.

Handling the Holidays with a Foster Child: How to Make it Magical

Prepare Them Up Front

The holidays with a foster child are much easier if you prepare them upfront. Things can feel very overwhelming for anybody at Christmas, but especially a young child. Everybody is stressed out, schedules are off, and everybody is running around trying to do so many things. Let your foster child know in advance what types of traditions you follow and how you’d like to include them.

Introduce Family Slowly

When handling the holidays with a foster child, introduce family slowly. It might feel very overwhelming to attend a huge holiday event with a lot of extended family members if they haven’t met anybody. See if you can have a few people over in smaller groups ahead of the celebrations. That way, your child will recognize them and will feel less anxious.

Be Available to Talk

Another thing that’s important when handling the holidays with a foster child is to be available to talk. They might be feeling a lot of emotions over the holidays. They might experience a whole range of emotions including anxiety, sadness, and excitement. Give them some space if they seem like they want privacy, but let them know that you are there if they want to talk.

Accommodate Their Beliefs

Finally, when handling the holidays with a foster child, try to accommodate their beliefs. They might have special traditions that they remember from holidays past with their biological family or other foster families. Incorporating this into your holiday routine will show them how important they are to you. Handling the holidays with a foster child can be an exciting but also stressful situation. Everybody is rushing around and busy over the holidays, so it’s easy to get overwhelmed and forget to take a pause. However, it’s important to keep an eye on your child and make sure that they are handling things ok. Prepare them upfront and let them know what to expect over the holidays. If you are getting together with a lot of extended family members, see if you can introduce them slowly ahead of time. Be available to talk if they need some extra support. And give them space if they seem like they need it. And finally, try to accommodate their beliefs and personal traditions. This will help them feel included and can ease anxiety and sadness. Hopefully, you can make this time of year magical for your foster child!

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Affording adoption can be a tricky situation for many families. There is no way around it: adoption is expensive. However, there are plenty of different things to look into if you are trying to figure out how to raise the money for adoption. It’s best to start by figuring out your total costs. Then you can try getting creative with fundraising. You can also investigate bank loans to see if financing is possible. And finally, look into tax credits and grants for the public to help offset adoption costs. Hopefully, you can find a way to raise the money needed. Adoption is a beautiful way to add to your family and forever change the life of a child and yourself.

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds to Complete Your Family

Figure Out Your Up Front Costs

The best place to start when looking into affording adoption is to figure out how much it will cost in the end. Your chosen adoption agency will be a good place to start to figure out how much money you’ll need. Don’t forget to budget the cost of travel if you will be traveling to meet your child. You’ll also need to include adoption fees, attorney fees, and the costs of providing the supplies you’ll need for your child.

Fundraising

Affording adoption can also be easier if you try fundraising. There are plenty of creative options to try and raise some money. You can go to your local church to see if they have any programs to help offset adoption costs. You can also try traditional fundraising methods, like starting a GoFundMe page, bake sale, car wash, or garage sales. Many couples begin an adoption blog.

Loans

Affording adoption can also be easier if you apply for a loan. Many banks have options available to help couples afford the steep costs of adoption. Some adoption agencies have financing options as well. You can try taking out a personal loan. In addition, if you own your own house and have equity in it, you might be able to borrow against it using a line of credit.

Grants and Tax Credits

Finally, affording adoption is easier when you look into grants and tax credits. Many federal and national non-profits have grant programs for adoption costs. The IRS also offers a tax credit for adoption. Some jobs will include some benefits for employees looking to adopt.

Affording adoption can be a source of stress for many couples. However, there are many options available to help with the steep costs. The first step is to figure out the total anticipated costs of the adoption process. Don’t forget the costs to the adoption agency, attorney, traveling, outfitting your home, and the general cost of raising a child. You can try fundraising for the money and setting up a GoFundMe or blog to keep friends and family in the loop. Ask your bank about potential loans to help finance the adoption. And finally, look into federal grants and tax credits to help offset the costs. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out how to raise the money to bring the newest member of your family home.

How to Help a Foster Child Adjust

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
It can be difficult to know how best to help a foster child adjust to a new living situation. They might be in a bit of shock at suddenly living in a new place. Or they might be hesitant to open up to you. However, you can set yourself up for success by remembering to be as flexible as you can be. Have things ready in advance before they get to their new home so that you aren’t scrambling to find the basics. Keep the lines of communication open, but let them have their space if they need it. Be flexible and manage your expectations. And finally, be their parent, not their friend. Hopefully, you can form an amazing bond with your foster child that will enrich their lives forever.

How to Help a Foster Child Adjust to a New Family

Have Things Ready

The first thing to do to help a foster child adjust to a new family is to have all the basics ready in advance. While the foster agency will do a home check to make sure you have the essentials like a bed, it’s also nice to prep with a few other things. Have age-appropriate snacks and treats, pajamas, clothing in the correct size, and some toys ready for when they arrive. That way you won’t be scrambling to find the basics when they get there.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Another thing you can do to help a foster child adjust is to keep the lines of communication open. Older children might want some space and time alone to adjust to their new surroundings. Even if this is the case, make it clear that you’re available if they need to talk about anything. Give them some space, but check-in enough to make sure they know that you are taking care of them.

Be Flexible

It can help a foster child adjust to a new environment if foster parents are flexible. Each child is very different with very different needs. Try to erase your expectations or past experiences and be open to a fresh start with every child you foster. What worked for one child may not work for another. Reset your expectations and understand that some children come into the system with emotional baggage that can make them react to things in unexpected ways. Try to meet every kid at their level and their own needs.

Be Their Parent, Not Their Friend

Finally, one last thing that can help a foster child adjust to a new living situation is if you make it clear that you are their parent, and not their friend. Of course, you want them to trust you and come to you with problems. But you can do this while still maintaining authority. Make it clear that you have their best interests at heart and that you care deeply about them. But also make it clear that they have to be respectful of you and your family’s rules. It can be hard to know exactly how to help a foster child adjust to a new living environment. So much has probably changed for them that they might feel overwhelmed. You might be given very little notice and feel a little overwhelmed. This is why it’s important to keep some things on hand, like snacks, a few clothing sizes, and some toys for various ages. Open the lines of communication with them, but give them space if they need it. Just make sure to check in periodically. Be flexible and manage your expectations. Remember that everybody’s journey in the foster program is very different. And finally, make sure that you are an authority figure. Often the structure of a parent figure is exactly what can be the most beneficial to many children in the foster care system. Hopefully, you and your foster child can build a beautiful relationship together and you can be a real source of comfort for them in a time that might otherwise be very stressful.

Looking Your Best for Divorce Court

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Looking your best for divorce court might not seem all that important, but first impressions matter. The American justice system is old-fashioned and most judges prefer people to dress respectfully in the courtroom. This means having a professional-looking hairstyle and clothing. In addition, personal style is important, but in the courtroom, it’s best to just keep it somewhat plain and simple. Looking best probably won’t affect your outcome in any major way, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.

Looking Your Best for Divorce Court: Clothing and Style

Why It Matters

Looking your best for divorce court is important because our justice system is very old-fashioned. Many judges prefer that everybody in the courtroom wear professional clothing as a sign of respect for the court system itself. Attorneys still are mostly expected to wear suits, ties, or skirts. When dressing for court, wear what you might wear for a professional job interview.

Hair

Looking your best for divorce court means keeping your hairstyle to something non-flamboyant. For women, it’s best to style it in a polished-looking ponytail or down. A messy bun is probably not the most professional-looking style. For men, it’s best to keep a clean-cut look and tame facial hair. You might love rocking a blue-dyed mohawk in your everyday life, but in court, it’s best to tamper your wilder side down.

Clothing

In addition to your hair, your clothing should also be modest when looking your best for divorce court. You won’t be able to enter if you’re swearing sweats, shorts, flip flops, midriff-baring clothing, or clothes with inappropriate slogans. For men, it’s best to wear shoes and socks, dress pants belted at the waist, a button-down shirt tucked in, and a tie. You can choose to wear a jacket if you’d like. For women, a knee-length dress or skirt that covers your chest modestly will work, so will slacks with a classy blouse.

Style

Personal style is so important to represent who you are as a person. But looking your best for divorce court means looking modest, and sometimes that means tampering down your personal style for the day. If you have a lot of piercings, consider taking them out for court. If you prefer clothing with sequins or a lot of sparkles, consider goes with something more muted. In addition, loud or flashy jewelry or very long nails will probably not go over as well as a more clean-cut traditional style. Save your awesome unique sense of style for the outside world. Looking your best for divorce court is important because first impressions matter. The judge could potentially be making decisions that affect the rest of your life and your children’s lives. You want to strike the right chord with them from the outset. Start by wearing a traditional-looking hairstyle and modest clothing. You want to look like you might be heading to a job interview. Your personal style is important for your everyday life, but in court, it’s most important to look polished and professional. Once you walk out of the courtroom you can go back to showing off your own personal style!

Co-Parenting in the Time of Covid

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

The Covid-19 virus has made life incredibly stressful for everybody. However, co-parenting in the time of Covid can add an entirely new layer of stress to parents. Having children going back and forth between two different households can be confusing. Especially since everybody should socially distance right now. Parents hopefully have a crisis plan in place for children. There are several considerations to think about when deciding how to split time. Open communication and modern technology can help you manage this crisis. Hopefully, the pandemic will lessen soon and everybody, including co-parents, can get back to life as normal.

Co-Parenting in the Time of Covid: Put the Kids First

Navigating a Crisis

Co-parenting in the time of Covid is like co-parenting in a crisis. Most co-parents have a plan in place if there were ever to be some sort of crisis. While you and your ex might disagree about a lot of things, hopefully, you can work together to navigate these tough times. Perhaps the stress of dealing with Covid can help you put aside more petty disagreements. If you don’t already have a plan like this in place, now is the time to make one. If ever we face another time like this, you’ll be more prepared. You can choose to continue the current parenting plan you have in place, or temporarily change things.

Things to Consider

There are many things to consider when co-parenting in the time of Covid. Since families are meant to be distancing, you might decide that your children should stay with one parent. Rather than being exposed to germs from separate households, you’ll keep your germs contained. When trying to decide which home the children should live at more, try to put aside your desire to “win”, and instead, focus on what is best for the kids. For example, maybe one parent is more set up for virtual schooling. Or perhaps one parent is an essential worker and comes into contact with more potential exposures. You might keep the children more at one parent’s house if the other has high-risk family members. And finally, consider the outdoor space at each parent’s home. Children need outdoor activities and room to run around now more than ever.

How to Manage

Co-parenting in the time of Covid relies on open communication between parents. Try to take your feelings out of consideration and think of what’s best for your children. And let your ex know if anything changes with your schedule or job. Dealing with a national pandemic requires flexibility from everybody to best adapt to a changing environment. Don’t forget that you can set up Zoom meetings or Facetime with your children when you aren’t with them. If both parents feel that they need to see the children equally, consider yourselves as a “bubble.” Each of you should take the same precautions at home and should be incredibly open and honest about any potential exposure.

Covid is hard for everybody, but co-parenting in the age of Covid can be a huge source of stress. You both want what’s best for your children, so sit down and have an honest conversation about how to handle the pandemic safely. Try to remember that you can use Zoom or outside drive-way hangouts to get some face-to-face time with your kids. There may be one parent who is better equipped to handle the ever-changing school plan or other social matters. In the future, it’s always best to have a plan in place for any sort of crisis. Hopefully, we won’t ever face another pandemic like this, but you’ll be prepared just in case. By communicating with your partner, you can help one another navigate this extremely stressful situation in a way that is best for your children.

When Sole Custody is Necessary: Navigating Bitterness and Retaliation

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Navigated a divorce is difficult enough. When you add children to the situation, every decision gets more complicated. One thing you might be stressing over is whether or not to seek sole custody. In some situations, sole custody is necessary for various reasons. However, in some situations, the children and parents might be better off with a joint-custody situation. Just make sure you know what is driving the decision. Is it for retaliation against your ex? Or is it for the benefit of the children? If you find that you are acting out of bitterness, try to find another outlet for your anger. Every decision you make needs to be in the best interest of your kids.

Is Sole Custody Necessary: Navigating Bitterness and Retaliation

When is Sole Custody Necessary?

Sole custody is necessary for several situations. Sole legal custody means that only one parent is responsible for making decisions regarding the children. If your partner is unfit to do this, you might need to seek sole custody. For example, this could include mental health problems, or substance abuse issues. If there has been abandonment, then you’ll want to seek custody. And of course, if there are any concerns about abuse for you or your children. Another consideration is if your ex is currently in prison or jail.

And finally, if your ex is being relocated to another state or country, it might be that sole custody is necessary. Custody involves making important decisions for your kids. If it will be difficult for somebody to get in touch with your ex, then you might want to make sure it’s just you making the decisions. If they are relocating but will be easy to get in touch with and plan to visit often, then sole custody might not be required.

What is Your Motivation?

If you are considering whether or not sole custody is necessary, ask yourself a few questions. What is the reason why I feel like this is needed? Am I doing this just to get back at my ex? Is this overall, the best thing for my children? Divorce can leave you very bitter. Divorces bring out emotions between spouses that they never realized they would feel. Hurtful things are said, and insults are thrown. If you find that you want to seek sole custody mostly because it will hurt your partner, then you need to re-evaluate. If your ex-spouse is not an unfit parent, then really take a look at your motivations. Depriving children of the chance to have one of their parents involved in their life might not be best for them.

Finding an Outlet

If you debate whether sole custody is necessary and find that perhaps you are acting out of bitterness, try to find other ways to address your feelings. You could try an outlet for your frustration like journaling or a new hobby. Or you could also really sit down with your ex and discuss your feelings. You might even enlist the help of a therapist. If your ex is an able and willing caregiver for your children, then try not to let your bitterness decide your custody

When you are debating whether or not sole custody is necessary, try to figure out your motivation. If you’re concerned at all for the wellbeing of your kids while in your ex’s care, then consider sole custody. And if they are unfit for any reason, it might be necessary. If you are only seeking it to hurt your ex-partner, it might not be the healthiest thing for your kids. Try to find other ways to vent your frustrations. Always try to remember that your children don’t know all the details of your divorce. Your partner may have done hurtful things to you, But your children will probably benefit from having both parents in their lives as long as both of you are supportive and caring.

What to Wear to Divorce Court: Dress for Success

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When preparing for divorce court there is so much to do. You’ll have meetings with your attorney and have tons of legal paperwork to prep. But sometimes people forget to prepare what they’re going to wear to divorce court. First impressions are important, and some judges are more conservative than others. It’s best to play it safe and dress as if you were going for a job interview. Here are some tips to help you look prepared!

What to Wear to Divorce Court: First Impressions Matter

Clothing for Men

When deciding what to wear to divorce court, business attire is best. Wear long slacks with a belt and shoes with matching socks. Also, a collared shirt with a tie should be work. You can choose to wear a jacket or not. However, it’s always a good idea to have one in case the courtroom is cold. Shorts are never allowed, and you should not wear jeans. Ditch the hat as well, and make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too baggy.

Clothing for Women

Business attire is also what women should wear to divorce court. A business suit isn’t necessary, but you should wear dress slacks or a skirt. Make sure a skirt goes to your knees or longer. A nice blouse or even a conservative dress would work well. Make sure that nothing is too low-cut or revealing. Also, make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too tight. Leave the flashy sequins at home and opt for a more neutral outfit. You could be in divorce court for a long time, so bringing a sweater or light jacket is a good idea. You don’t necessarily need to wear heels, but stay away from tennis shoes or flip flops.

Accessories

The main goal in choosing what to wear to divorce court is to keep things neutral and non-attention grabbing. Try not to wear flashy accessories. If you have a lot of piercings, it might be best to remove some while you go to court. Cover up tattoos as well. Men and women should have clean, neat hair in a polished and neutral style. Also, now is possibly not the best time for very long acrylic nails or blue hair. Finally, keep makeup subtle and unobtrusive. The more conservative you can look, the better.

Having your own sense of style is great! Flashy accessories and dyed hair might be how you express yourself. That’s perfectly fine, but in divorce court, you might be more successful if you tone down your natural flair. Everything you wear to divorce court should be modest and polished. You want to look clean, neat, and dependable. Although you may want to show off your flashy side, you’ll probably benefit in the long run by playing by the court’s rules.

How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

In some divorce arrangements, parents may end up with split custody of their children. Split custody is different than joint custody. This is a child custody arrangement in which one parent has sole custody of one or more children. Then, the other parent has sole custody of the remaining siblings. This arrangement can be difficult for both the parents and the children. If this applies to you, learn how to manage having split custody of your kids.

How-to Manage Having Split Custody of Your Kids: Divorce Arrangements

Difficulties

Having split custody of your kids can be difficult. One of the hardest parts about it is that your kids may never actually get to see one another. If one child spends all week at moms, while the other spends all week at dads, and they switch on the weekend, they will never be together. Going to living with only one parent at a time can be a big change for children. Compound that with also no longer living with their siblings too, and that makes it even more of an adjustment.

Benefits

On the other hand, there can be some benefits of having split custody of your kids. For example, this could be beneficial if one child is combative or physically or emotionally abusive to the other. In this case, it may be best to have both of the siblings separated. Another example is if one child has special needs. Depending on how severe the disabilities are, one parent may need to solely focus on taking care of the child with special needs. A parent who works away from home full-time likely would not be able to take care of a special needs child in the same way a stay-at-home parent can.

In some cases, if there are large age gaps between siblings, each may prefer to live with a different parent. Another situation is if one parents lives close to a special school that would be beneficial for one child, that child may choose to live with that parent. For example, if there is a really good school of the arts, and a child really wants to be in that program, they may decide to live at the house closest to that school. This could also apply to certain schools for kids with physical or learning disabilities.

There are definitely pros and cons to having split custody of your kids. However, if you make decisions with your children’s best interest in mind, you can manage this unusual situation.

Co-Parenting Boundaries: What To Establish

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It’s always important to set up good, healthy boundaries after your divorce. However, if you’re going to be co-parenting, then you’ll need some specific co-parenting boundaries as well. These boundaries can really help you have a more pleasant co-parenting experience…

Co-Parenting Boundaries: Key Areas

Conversations

It’s important to have good co-parenting boundaries for your conversations. Healthy communication is crucial for any co-parenting plan. If you can’t talk to one another, then it’ll quickly cause issues for you both when it comes to trying to co-parent.

Having some boundaries regarding your conversations can help prevent these issues. Mainly, you want to keep your conversations focused on the kids, and avoid trying to pry into their personal life. You might even find it’s better to keep your conversations through text or phone calls as an extra step to avoid tensions.

Pick-ups & drop-offs

You’ll also want to have good co-parenting boundaries when doing pick-ups and drop-offs. While these might seem pretty simple, the truth is they can be more difficult than you think. Seeing your ex again can bring up strong emotions, which could end up causing you to argue in front of the kids.

That kind of fighting can be traumatic to your kids, who might think that they’re somehow responsible for your fighting. Therefore, you should make sure these times are focused solely on having the kids move from one household to another. If you really do need to talk to your co-parent about something, do it later and in private away from the kids.

New partners

New partners tend to always make co-parenting a little bit trickier than it was before. If your partner starts seeing someone new, then you probably won’t be too fond of this new person at first. Your ex could act the same should you move on and begin dating first as well.

This is why the best thing to do is set up co-parenting boundaries which limit the involvement of these new partners. After all, your agreement was between you and your ex. Keep these new partners out of it for the most part, and wait until things begin to calm down before either of you try and introduce them properly to the other.