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COVID Divorce: Questions To Ask

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many couples have put off their divorce plans until after things settle down. In fact, you may be at the point where you’re also considering getting a divorce. Going through with a COVID divorce isn’t an easy decision to make. Therefore, it helps to ask yourself some key questions beforehand…

COVID Divorce: Is It Right For You?

“Is COVID causing your problems?”

When a COVID divorce crosses your mind, you need to consider what exactly the issues are that you’re dealing with. These are stressful times for everyone, and many people have been impacted even if they don’t get sick. Several couples are dealing with not being able to work, which creates a lot of financial stress.

As a result, consider if the issues you’re facing now are because of COVID itself. Do you expect that things will return to normal for your marriage when the situation clears up? If so, step back and consider that maybe it’s just the stress of what’s going on which is getting to you, and how you can better address it.

“Are these pre-existing problems?”

The COVID pandemic has also led couples to consider what problems their relationship has had for a while. In fact, it’s possible that your life beforehand didn’t let you address them properly. For instance, maybe you were both so busy with working all the time. Due to this, you never had time to talk about what was going on.

Now that you have this time, these issues are probably more noticeable. This could be causing you to consider a COVID divorce. First, try and see if you can talk about these problems properly and work towards some changes. This time could be useful for seeing what changes will help your relationship for the better!

“What’s my plan?”

Maybe you’re completely set on a COVID divorce. At this point, you don’t think that you can fix things with your spouse. Still, you won’t want to just try and start a divorce right away. During these times, it’s important that you have a plan in mind.

It’s good to make sure that you’ll have a place to stay and a good source of income before starting your divorce. You should also try and get some important documents together ahead of time. Remember that you won’t want to rush; doing so will just make things trickier for you!

Father’s Day Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Many holidays tend to be a bit hard to celebrate after a divorce. A Father’s Day post-divorce is one of those holidays which will require you to navigate a bit differently. However, there are some things you can do to make the day enjoyable for everyone…

Father’s Day Post-Divorce: Make It A Success

Talk to the kids

It’s good to talk to your kids about how a Father’s Day post-divorce will be different than it usually is. Many kids struggle to enjoy these special days because of the divorce. Things tend to feel a little sad for them as they remember that they can’t really celebrate them as they used to before the divorce.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to talk to them about that. Let them know it’s okay if they feel a bit sad, and that you feel sad too. However, be sure to remind them how important they are to you and that you’ll be there for them. This can really help them get back into a better mood.

Try some fun activities

A Father’s Day post-divorce should also involve some fun activities for you and the kids. Just doing nothing may be relaxing for you, but your kids will feel a bit left out. This isn’t something you want to happen, especially coming off of a divorce.

Rather, come up with some things that they can do with you to celebrate the day. They don’t need to be anything complex, but just things you can all enjoy doing together. You can even let the kids try and plan things out! Doing these types of activities are a great way for you and your kids to improve your bond, which the divorce may have strained.

Don’t sweat gifts

Gifts are something which can be a bit tricky for a Father’s Day post-divorce. Younger kids tend to usually make something themselves and give it as a gift. For older kids, though, they usually have the other parent take care of things. This could no longer be possible now after your divorce.

That’s why you won’t want to sweat any gifts, and make sure your kids know that. They could feel guilty if they show up empty-handed, so let them know the thing which really matters to you is spending time with them. Still, if they’re adamant that they want a gift, try to have a grandparent, aunt, or uncle help them pick something out.

Keep Positive During Divorce: Finding Joy

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce tends to shake up a person’s life in many different ways. As a result, it can be hard to keep positive during divorce. However, practicing a few key things can help you keep a positive mindset…

Keep Positive During Divorce: Steps To Take

Embrace some stability

It can be easy to feel like things are slipping out of your control when divorcing. When everything seems to be changing, you’ll want to embrace the things which remain stable. Doing so is important if you want to keep positive during divorce.

For instance, if you’ll be keeping the home, you don’t need to make a ton of changes all at once. Even if you need to move, you can find somewhere close rather than move far away. Plus, remember that you don’t need to jump into new commitments like dating until you feel ready. Instead, try to take this time reorganize and begin adjusting to what life will be like post-divorce.

Accept help from others

If you want to keep positive during divorce, then you should accept some outside help. Those around you who care about you will want to try and do what they can to give you a hand. It can be hard to accept their help, as you may feel like some kind of “burden.” In reality, this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Your friends and family care about you, and just like you’d help them when they need it, they want to help you now. Don’t be afraid to lean on them for extra help, especially when you need someone to talk to. If they invite you out to social events, try and make an effort to go even if it feels hard. You’ll be surprised at how much better you’ll feel when you spend your time with them!

Practice some self-improvement

A great way to keep positive during divorce is by focusing on some self-improvement. Making helpful changes can be a great way to balance out those “negative” ones you may be experiencing. In general, most people like to focus on their health, both physically and mentally.

Plenty of research has shown that exercising helps improve our moods and clear our minds. It’s also a great way to get out of the house and potentially meet new people. This makes it great to do along with mental health improvements, as they’ll both tie into one another.

Quarantine With Your Ex: Strained Social Distancing

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

The COVID-19 pandemic has caused many people to put their divorce plans on hold. However, you might have just made the mark. But, now you’re finding that your moving plans and custody plan has been put on hold and you’re left to quarantine with your ex. While this isn’t ideal, it is something you have to make work for the time being. So, we’re here to help..

Quarantine With Your Ex: Make It Work

Understand the situation

To handle quarantine with your ex, it helps to first understand the situation you’re both in. You and they won’t be able to just “go away”, especially after a fight or argument. Therefore, you have to consider what you’re going to do: will you constantly fight with one another, or try and make things work out?

Choosing the former will make the quarantine experience miserable for the both of you. Spending every day at each other’s throats isn’t good for your mental well-being. Instead, you should try and reach some neutral ground. By agreeing on this, you can make matters a lot easier.

Set aside personal space

Experiencing quarantine with your ex means you’ll be stuck inside the home all day. Depending on the house you have, that probably doesn’t leave a lot of space. Constantly being around them can be hard, especially if the divorce was a rough experience. That’s why it’s good to set aside some personal private areas.

This should be a room where you can go and not be disturbed by your ex. It could be your old bedroom, or an extra room you can make into a temporary bedroom. Having this personal space can help you breathe and relax, even if you have to share the rest of the house with your ex.

Keep yourself busy

Quarantine is leaving a lot of people with more free time than usual. Not having anything to do could inadvertently cause you and your ex to start arguing over small, non-important things. Having something to keep you busy can make quarantine with your ex a more tolerable experience.

Even if you can’t really go out, there’s still plenty of hobbies you can try out. Some popular ones have been reading, catching up on movies, or getting into gardening. Plus, you can still stay in touch with friends and family through digital means. That way, you don’t feel totally alone and “trapped” with your ex

Post-Quarantine Divorce: An Unexpected Increase?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

The COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine has certainly shaken things up for many couples. However, not all relationships will make it through unscathed. In fact, many experts expect to see a rise in post-quarantine divorce rates. There’s a couple reasons why this may be happening…

Post-Quarantine Divorce: Why It’s Happening

Previously planned

The simplest reason as to why some couples will get a post-quarantine divorce is because they already planned to split beforehand. In order to slow the spread of the virus, many states and countries issued stay-at-home orders. This meant places which usually would be open have had to either had to close or shift to online-only access.

As a result, many couples saw their divorce plans hit a snag. With places like courthouses offering limited accessibility, it became harder to get things moving. Instead, they usually agree to wait until the lock downs are over, which’ll make things much easier for them. In the meantime, they’ll keep preparing to ensure a smooth return to the divorce process .

Growing tensions

The other main reason behind a post-quarantine divorce is the quarantine itself. The quarantine means couples have to spend a lot of time with each other in the house. As a result, if they were already having problems, then things can quickly get worse as they have nowhere else to go.

Many couples find themselves fighting more often while in quarantine. With nothing else to do, it becomes easier for these fights and problems to take priority and become the focal point. Other couples are taking this time to do some self-reflection, and may realize that they aren’t happy with their current marriage and want some change.

What to do

If a couple was already set on divorcing beforehand, then they probably won’t change their mind about a post-quarantine divorce. However, for other couples, it is possible to change things. While resources like marriage counseling might not be available, couples can still work on improving their relationship. This could help them to take the time to fix their issues, rather than letting them get worse.

Still, if a couple reflects and realize a divorce is best for them, then they don’t just have to sit around. Rather, they can begin adapting themselves to what their post-divorce life may be like. This can include setting up good boundaries despite still living together, and talking to the kids about what’ll happen.

Divorce Causes: Understanding Conflict

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce is something that can happen due to a whole host of reasons. Still, some divorce causes tend to be more common than others. Knowing what these reasons are can shed some insight on what issues couples tend to face…

Divorce Causes: Common Issues

Too much conflict

Constant arguing and fighting are one of the more common divorce causes. Usually, these problems are because of issues communicating. Whenever a disagreement comes up, the couple won’t know how to discuss it properly. This leads them to fight and end up in a worse mood than they already were.

Eventually, it’ll feel like every conversation ends in some kind of argument. Not only is this upsetting for both spouses, but it also doesn’t resolve what the issue was in the first place. The stress and frustration of this can become too much to take, and end up resulting in a divorce.

Infidelity

It’s probably not surprising that infidelity is another of the frequent divorce causes. Cheating is seen as the ultimate betrayal of a partner’s trust. On top of any other issues, cheating tends to be the “last straw” for a spouse. Once they either learn about an affair, they’ll usually go right to divorce.

Partners usually cheat because of issues in the relationship, mainly due to feelings of neglect. Still, infidelity can occur in other ways aside from physical contact. Emotional and financial infidelity are both very real, and can cause a divorce all the same.

Lack of commitment

While marriage should be a big commitment, a lack of that is also among the frequent divorce causes. Now, a lack of commitment doesn’t mean a person will cheat on their partner, although it could contribute to it. Rather, what it means is that they don’t “feel” like they’re married, or that they have a strong bond.

This lack of commitment doesn’t have to be “negative” per say either. Instead, it usually tends to be more neutral, where you feel like your partner is still a friend more than a spouse. It’s possible that over time, a couple can lose strong feelings of love, and end up with a divorce.

Relationship Red Flags & Indicators

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After a divorce, you might be concerned about future serious relationships ending up the same. A good way to avoid repeating past issues is by being aware of some common relationship red flags. These indicators can help you realize when things may not end well in the future…

Relationship Red Flags: What To Watch For

Issues talking

One of the most apparent relationship red flags is when you struggle to talk to your partner. For example, it could be that you can’t talk without things becoming some kind of fight. Or, you might struggle to have them pay attention to what you’re saying and to take you seriously.

If you can’t properly communicate now, then it’ll get even worse when things become more complicated. It’ll be tough to discuss marriage-related things like finances, children, and potentially relocating. If you aren’t able to improve your ability to talk now, you probably don’t want to keep things going for too long.

Lack of trust

A lack of trust is another of the most apparent relationship red flags. Any good relationship is going to be built upon a mutual level of trust. However, your partner might not give you that trust, and instead accuse you of things you haven’t done. On the other hand, your partner might act very shady and make you doubt how honest they are.

Trust issues can manifest in many different ways. It could be that your partner is always trying to track you, who you’re with, and what you’re doing on your phone. They could also constantly go out without telling you why or where they’re at, while acting suspicious. Not having faith in your partner doesn’t bode well for the future of your relationship.

Friends & family don’t like them

Sometimes you need an outside opinion to help you spot relationship red flags. In particular, it can be good to ask how your close friends and family feel about them. If there’s anyone who is going to give you honest feedback, it’ll be them. Plus, you know you can trust them because they’ll have your best interests in mind.

Many people when they’re in the “honeymoon phase” struggle with seeing their partner’s serious flaws. Furthermore, you might not want to hear anything negative said about them. Still, you should listen to what your friends and family have to say. They might be able to clue you in on something which you haven’t realized yet.

Blindside Divorce: Unexpected Turmoil

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce is always hard, but it can be especially rough when it seems to come out of nowhere. A blindside divorce can throw your whole world upside down. However, there are ways you can process the news and get things back on track…

Blindside Divorce: How To Recover

Keep your cool

It can be a bit easier said that done to try and keep calm despite a blindside divorce. After all, this news has probably shocked and hurt you quite a bit. Still, it’s important that you do your best to stay cool.

Letting your emotions get the best of you could cause you to say something you regret. Keep in mind that this is probably something your spouse has been thinking about for some time. During that time, they were able to process everything, but you haven’t had that time. Therefore, keep calm, ask some key questions, and then give yourself time to take it what’s happening.

Lean on loved ones

A blindside divorce isn’t something you want to take on by yourself. Even when you take time to process what’s occurring, it can be hard to juggle all those emotions. As a result, it’s a good idea to lean on your loved ones for some extra support.

These loved ones, usually close friends and family, will be a key part of your divorce support network. That’s why it’s a good idea to start getting some help from them now. Talk to them about how you feel and what’s worrying you. Odds are they can help you calm down, refocus, and feel more optimistic about the future.

Prepare properly

Another negative about a blindside divorce is that it means you haven’t had time to prepare for the divorce. While your spouse has been thinking about what they need to do, you’ll be starting from square one. That’s why you want to start getting things ready as soon as you can.

For instance, it’s good to start gathering important documents, especially financial ones. It’s also good to set up your own finances, like through an independent bank account, if you had been sharing things with your spouse. Preparing properly will help you “catch up” and not fall behind in the divorce.

Divorce Fears: Facing Uncertainty

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can be a pretty intimidating thing, even if you’ve given it a lot of thought. It’s not uncommon to have some divorce fears because of this. However, it is possible to overcome these worries, and pull off a divorce you’ll be confident in…

Divorce Fears: Common Worries

Spouse reacting poorly

One of the divorce fears which is common has to do with breaking the news to one’s spouse. Many people worry about how their partner will take the news. Some are afraid that they’ll get very angry at them. Others worry they’ll react in some other emotional way that they won’t know how to handle.

The thing is, you won’t know how they’ll react until you tell them. Still, you can make it much more likely for them to react in a more understanding manner. Plus, if you can keep things calm, and show a willingness to listen to what they have to say, that can also help prevent things from getting out of hand.

Too much to handle

Another one of the common divorce fears is that divorce will be overwhelming. There’s going to be a lot of different things that you’ll have to figure out while divorce. That’ll include things like co-parenting plans, who will get what, potential moves, etc. There’s also matters related to the divorce, such as if you’ll need to take time off of work or even find a new job.

All of these can feel impossible to manage at first. But it’s important to not let those fears take over. Instead, take some time and really hash out all of these details one at a time. Once you develop basic plans for each of them, they become a lot easier to manage.

Uncertain future

Divorce fears can even extend into what’ll happen once the divorce is over. In fact, most people are worried about how uncertain things will be. Usually, this comes with thoughts about if they made the right decision, or how things like future relationships will go.

Much like with those fears about bringing divorce up, there’s no way to see the future. However, what you can do is work on making the post-divorce life you want a reality. Taking those proper steps once your divorce is over can help put those fears to rest and instead make you optimistic for what’s ahead.

Divorce Health Issues: Avoiding a Decline

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Divorce can affect a lot of areas of your life, even when it’s over. Something you should be especially aware of are divorce health issues. These issues are best addressed early on, which is why it’s crucial to recognize the signs…

Divorce Health Issues: What To Watch

Mental health

Your mental health is one area where divorce health issues can pop up. Divorce tends to cause a lot of stress, as you try to juggle the process itself and the rest of your life. It can also bring about a lot of uncertainty over what your life will be like when the divorce is finished. These can cause pretty high levels of anxiety.

Depression is also a common health issue. Usually, this is due to feeling like a failure after your divorce. It could also be caused by self-esteem issues which arise post-divorce. Seeking out professional help early on can prevent these issues from getting worse.

Weight change

Weight change is also another common divorce health issue. For some, they might find themselves eating too much after their divorce. This is because of how eating “comfort foods”, like their name implies, makes them feel better. However, many of these choices are unhealthy, leading to weight gain.

Other times, a person may not eat enough. They might experience a loss of appetite, and barely eat as much as they should. This can cause them to rapidly lose an unhealthy amount of weight. Ultimately, following a healthy balanced diet can prevent these problems and make you feel better with more energy.

Sleep problems

Many divorce health issues can impact or be related to sleep. Insomnia, for example, tends to be a common issue for many. Others might struggle to sleep consistently through the night, and constantly wake up. A lack of sleep can then lead to issues with one’s mental and physical health.

Too much sleep can also be unhealthy as well. Usually, a desire to sleep constantly can be a sign of depression. Plus, you’ll also prevent yourself from reaching post-divorce goals if you’re sleeping all the time. Avoiding things like caffeine, and going to sleep consistently at proper times can help you get the right amount of sleep.

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