Going through a divorce with adult children still presents problems for families. While it may be easier for an adult child to understand the situation better than a younger child, there are still challenges that a family will face.
Divorce with Adult Children: Things to Expect
Emotional Stress
It’s easy to think that divorce will only hurt young children, but divorce with adult children can be challenging too. It can still certainly emotionally affect their grown children. Parents will lean more on their adult children for emotional support, which may not happen with younger children. The parents share more about their personal details with adult children, which can lead to the children feeling uncomfortable and taking sides.
Grown children can also be angrier with their parents, because they think their parents should have divorced earlier. They can carry guilt if they find out their parents only stayed together in an unhappy marriage just for their sake.
Be Understanding and Supportive
While parents are entitled to separate if they choose to, it’s important that the parents try to speak to their kids with facts instead of with emotion. The act of divorce is emotional. However, joking or making rude comments about the other parent is harmful and can lead to a divide.
While divorce with adult children will not lead to custody battles or switching homes during the week, it can still have other implications. Adult children may need space and time to accept that their parents are getting a divorce, so make sure they are given that space if they need it.
Celebrating Holidays
When going through a divorce with adult children, you will still see issues around holidays. This could include trying to determine where the family will spend Thanksgiving or Christmas. If the divorce is amicable, then the best solution will be to try and get the family together and celebrate as one unit. If the divorce was messy, then you may need to split the two holidays with your former spouse. Another option would be to celebrate those holidays on different days than your ex is.
While many people may not think of the tolls of divorce on grown children, it certainly can affect them. It may affect them in different way than it does young kids, but it still will be difficult. Don’t dismiss their feelings and try to work through this difficult together.
