It can be incredibly painful to talk about your divorce. However, inevitably it’s going to come up in conversations. It can help to have an idea of what you’d like to say when people ask that doesn’t give away too many details. Start with your close family and friends and then slowly expand the circle of people that know. You might want to give your boss a heads up as well. Have an idea of how you want to approach the conversation. And always avoid trash-talking your ex, and don’t be afraid to remind people that this is something they should keep private. As time goes on it will feel easier and easier to talk about your divorce as you begin to emotionally move on.
How to Talk About Your Divorce: Getting Comfortable with the Conversation
Telling Friends and Family
When you talk about your divorce, it should probably start with your close family. For instance, your parents and siblings. This is a big adjustment for them because the future they imagined for you is changing. Try to leave out the nitty-gritty details and don’t assume that your friends will need to “pick a side.” You don’t need to tell a ton of people until after your divorce is final, so stick to very close friends and family.
Telling Work
While your coworkers don’t necessarily need to know anything about your private life, you might want to let your boss know. It would help if you talked about your divorce with them and maybe your HR rep. This way, they won’t be surprised if you need some time off for court dates. Assure them that it won’t affect your work.
Have a Script
It can help to have a script ready to go when you talk about divorce. Especially if you are telling a casual acquaintance. You could say that although you both wanted it to, the marriage wasn’t working. Ask them to respect your privacy as well. Having something prepared in advance can prevent you from feeling caught off guard if somebody casually asks about it.
Don’t Trash Talk
Finally, the most important thing to remember is to avoid trash-talking about your ex when you talk about your divorce. It can be easy to want to tell everybody about how they hurt you. However, it doesn’t help anything and your ex might find out. This can affect your co-parenting relationship if you have children or can make your divorce even more contentious.
When you begin to talk about your divorce, it can feel very awkward at first. However, eventually, you’ll need to be able to tell people about it in a way that doesn’t invite a lot of questions or nosiness. Have a script ready to go that keeps things short and sweet. Tell your family and close friends first. Then slowly move out to more distant acquaintances after the divorce is final. Don’t let your divorce become office gossip, however, you should let your boss know. Assure them that it won’t affect your work. Have an idea of how to tackle the question if people ask you about your divorce that doesn’t involve trash-talking your ex. Hopefully, you’ll begin to feel less uncomfortable telling people about your divorce as you start to heal and move on with your life.
