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Many people feel conflicted about dividing time equally between parents and in-laws. This can be particularly difficult when you are spending your first holidays together, newly married, or have children. It’s normal for each of your families to want to spend their time with you and carry on those holiday traditions that mean so much to them with your children. However, sometimes families have to make compromises. If everybody gets along and if you have the space, you might consider hosting them all at your own house. You might also consider sharing the day if they live within easy driving distance. For families that live further away, you might need to alternate holidays throughout the year, or alternate years. However, it’s important for you and your spouse to create your own traditions as well. If being torn between your two families ends up causing you more stress than enjoyment, it might be time to come up with a new plan that allows you both to enjoy this time together. Hopefully, you can come to an agreement that works for you two and your families so that you aren’t dealing with drama during the holiday season.

Dividing Time Equally Between Parents and In-Laws During the Holidays

Host Them All

One option when you’re struggling with dividing time equally between parents and in-laws is to simply opt to host them all together. However, this requires you to have the space for them as well as the energy to host. And your parents and in-laws should be able to get along in order for this to happen smoothly. However, this can be a great option to allow your families to get to know one another better and to each give them plenty of time with you and your children.

Share the Day

Another option you can choose when dividing time equally between parents and in-laws is to share the actual day of the holiday. This only works if your families live relatively close together. However, you can wake up Christmas morning and have lunch with your family and then drive to your in-laws for Christmas dinner. This allows both sets of families to celebrate with you all on the actual day of the holiday. However, the drawback of this option is that it can end up making your holidays feel rushed and frantic. And if your parents aren’t very close, it can feel like a lot of traveling.

Alternate Holidays

Some families choose to divvy up holidays throughout the year and alternate which family they spend time with. This works especially well if you have families that only care about specific holidays that don’t happen to overlap one another. You can also switch things up from year to year so that each year you swap which holidays you celebrate with them. It can be difficult for them to be away from you on the years when you are with the other set of family, but in all this tends to work best if your families do not live close to one another.

Make Your Own Traditions

Finally, if you’re stressing about dividing time equally between parents and in-laws, it might be time to create some new traditions of your own. The holidays are meant to be an enjoyable time. And if figuring all of this out creates more of a headache, you might just want to take a break from celebrating with family altogether. It’s perfectly fine for you and your spouse or your family to create your own tradition of just being together and spending some quality time with one another. This can end up creating friction with your family, but you ultimately have to do the best thing for your own mental health as well as the mental health of your spouse and children.

Dividing time equally between parents and in-laws is one of the first hurdles that many new serious relationships face. Your family have years of traditions with you that they might not want to give up. But this can leave you both feeling torn about who to spend your holidays with. You can opt to celebrate with both families on the day of the holiday if they live close together. Or if they live further apart, you can choose to alternate which families you visit throughout the year or from year to year. If your families all get along well and live relatively close together, you can choose to host them all at your house and establish a new tradition. However, this requires a lot of prep work, planning, and energy. If figuring out how to evenly split your time is causing you stress and impacting how much you even enjoy the holidays, it might be time to take a break from family altogether. While it’s nice to continue traditions that are important, you shouldn’t do that at the expense of your mental health. If arguing about which family to visit causes too much stress, you might opt for a quiet holiday at home with just your spouse and children.

Can Sleep Divorce Save Your Marriage: Separate Bed Might Be the Key to Relationship Bliss

What Does It Mean?

Sleep divorce, sleep separation, or alternative sleeping arrangements all refer to the idea of spouses sleeping in different beds or bedrooms. Different cultures have always had different norms when it comes to cohabitation, and trends come and go. While it’s often seen as a symbol of intimacy in a marriage to share a bed, the reality is that sometimes that’s not an ideal sleeping situation for both partners.

Why Do It?

The trend of sleep divorce is gaining popularity in recent years, although the stigma of the word divorce can still leave some couples nervous about trying it. However, sleep is incredibly important for our overall physical and mental health. If you and your partner work different shifts, you can experience a lot of disruptions to your sleep. Similarly, if your partner prefers a cold bedroom, darker bedroom, white noise, etc when sleeping, those preferences don’t always match up. Couples also struggle with sleep if one partner snores loudly, uses a CPAP machine, or tosses and turns frequently.

Pros

If you and your partner struggle with having different sleeping preferences, or otherwise disrupt one another’s rest, separate bedrooms or beds might allow you both to get a more restful night’s sleep. You can stretch out and have more personal space, have your bedroom exactly the way you like it, and sleep without disturbances from your partner. Additionally, you might become more intentional about intimacy and begin to reconnect more as a couple.

Cons

While there are many positive to sleep divorce, there can also be some drawbacks to consider. For example, for many there are space or financial constraints. It can be difficult to find room in your house for two separate beds or bedrooms. You might also find that it can be lonely going to bed without your partner. And of course, for some, it can lead to a decrease in intimacy. Things like cuddling and physical touch are important in a relationship, and you and your spouse will have to make extra effort to bring those things into your marriage if you are sleeping separately.

When considering whether or not a sleep divorce is the right option for you, it’s important that both partners be on the same page. If only one of you wants the separation, it can lead to insecurities, loneliness, and resentment from the other partner who might feel abandoned. And sleeping separately can decrease your intimacy with one another if you aren’t intentional about connecting. However, if you both are open to the idea, sleeping separately can have a lot of positive effects on your relationship. Getting better rest means that you both will have more energy for your relationship without any resentment over poor sleep. For many, the idea of sleeping separately feels stigmatized. However, if it’s the best option for your relationship, it isn’t really anybody else’s b