What to Wear to Divorce Court: Dress for Success

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When preparing for divorce court there is so much to do. You’ll have meetings with your attorney and have tons of legal paperwork to prep. But sometimes people forget to prepare what they’re going to wear to divorce court. First impressions are important, and some judges are more conservative than others. It’s best to play it safe and dress as if you were going for a job interview. Here are some tips to help you look prepared!

What to Wear to Divorce Court: First Impressions Matter

Clothing for Men

When deciding what to wear to divorce court, business attire is best. Wear long slacks with a belt and shoes with matching socks. Also, a collared shirt with a tie should be work. You can choose to wear a jacket or not. However, it’s always a good idea to have one in case the courtroom is cold. Shorts are never allowed, and you should not wear jeans. Ditch the hat as well, and make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too baggy.

Clothing for Women

Business attire is also what women should wear to divorce court. A business suit isn’t necessary, but you should wear dress slacks or a skirt. Make sure a skirt goes to your knees or longer. A nice blouse or even a conservative dress would work well. Make sure that nothing is too low-cut or revealing. Also, make sure that your clothes fit well and are not too tight. Leave the flashy sequins at home and opt for a more neutral outfit. You could be in divorce court for a long time, so bringing a sweater or light jacket is a good idea. You don’t necessarily need to wear heels, but stay away from tennis shoes or flip flops.

Accessories

The main goal in choosing what to wear to divorce court is to keep things neutral and non-attention grabbing. Try not to wear flashy accessories. If you have a lot of piercings, it might be best to remove some while you go to court. Cover up tattoos as well. Men and women should have clean, neat hair in a polished and neutral style. Also, now is possibly not the best time for very long acrylic nails or blue hair. Finally, keep makeup subtle and unobtrusive. The more conservative you can look, the better.

Having your own sense of style is great! Flashy accessories and dyed hair might be how you express yourself. That’s perfectly fine, but in divorce court, you might be more successful if you tone down your natural flair. Everything you wear to divorce court should be modest and polished. You want to look clean, neat, and dependable. Although you may want to show off your flashy side, you’ll probably benefit in the long run by playing by the court’s rules.

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Affording adoption can be a tricky situation for many families. There is no way around it: adoption is expensive. However, there are plenty of different things to look into if you are trying to figure out how to raise the money for adoption. It’s best to start by figuring out your total costs. Then you can try getting creative with fundraising. You can also investigate bank loans to see if financing is possible. And finally, look into tax credits and grants for the public to help offset adoption costs. Hopefully, you can find a way to raise the money needed. Adoption is a beautiful way to add to your family and forever change the life of a child and yourself.

Affording Adoption: Finding the Funds to Complete Your Family

Figure Out Your Up Front Costs

The best place to start when looking into affording adoption is to figure out how much it will cost in the end. Your chosen adoption agency will be a good place to start to figure out how much money you’ll need. Don’t forget to budget the cost of travel if you will be traveling to meet your child. You’ll also need to include adoption fees, attorney fees, and the costs of providing the supplies you’ll need for your child.

Fundraising

Affording adoption can also be easier if you try fundraising. There are plenty of creative options to try and raise some money. You can go to your local church to see if they have any programs to help offset adoption costs. You can also try traditional fundraising methods, like starting a GoFundMe page, bake sale, car wash, or garage sales. Many couples begin an adoption blog.

Loans

Affording adoption can also be easier if you apply for a loan. Many banks have options available to help couples afford the steep costs of adoption. Some adoption agencies have financing options as well. You can try taking out a personal loan. In addition, if you own your own house and have equity in it, you might be able to borrow against it using a line of credit.

Grants and Tax Credits

Finally, affording adoption is easier when you look into grants and tax credits. Many federal and national non-profits have grant programs for adoption costs. The IRS also offers a tax credit for adoption. Some jobs will include some benefits for employees looking to adopt.

Affording adoption can be a source of stress for many couples. However, there are many options available to help with the steep costs. The first step is to figure out the total anticipated costs of the adoption process. Don’t forget the costs to the adoption agency, attorney, traveling, outfitting your home, and the general cost of raising a child. You can try fundraising for the money and setting up a GoFundMe or blog to keep friends and family in the loop. Ask your bank about potential loans to help finance the adoption. And finally, look into federal grants and tax credits to help offset the costs. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out how to raise the money to bring the newest member of your family home.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer?

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
If you are wondering if you need a divorce lawyer, you aren’t alone. Divorces can be very expensive and it might be tempting to save the money you’d pay to an attorney for something else. However, an attorney can prevent you from making mistakes that could be incredibly costly. It’s really in your best interest to have representation, even if you believe your divorce will be amicable. There are many risks involved with going it alone in a settlement. Find a divorce lawyer early in the process so that they can prepare you for what to expect. And finally, when choosing a divorce lawyer, make sure they have plenty of experience with similar cases. While it is not legally mandated that you use a divorce attorney, the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Do I Really Need a Divorce Lawyer? Weighing Your Options

The Short Answer

The short answer is that yes, in almost all cases, you need to hire a divorce lawyer. Even if you believe your divorce will be amicable, it still will be very complex. The divorce system is very hard to understand if you are not a divorce attorney yourself. It involves a lot of rules, paperwork, and forms. If any of those things are not done properly, you could wind up losing a lot of money. You could also end up losing assets, property, or risk having it affect your custody situation.

The Risks

There are many risks if you choose to not hire a divorce lawyer. If you own property and don’t have representation, you could wind up losing a lot of money or even be stuck paying for a home you don’t own. Having minor children also means you need representation, because you’ll need to decide how your co-parenting will look. Any errors in that and you could be dealing with a nightmare co-parenting situation for years. If you have retirement plans, assets, or are wanting to work out any spousal support you need to hire a divorce attorney.

When to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

Hire a divorce lawyer early on in the process. Many people find that the best advice is to hire representation before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. They can help you figure out what information you’ll need and prepare you in case your spouse retaliates negatively. They will also walk you through an overview of the process itself which can be very helpful.

How to Pick a Divorce Lawyer

It’s important to pick the right divorce lawyer for your case. Plan to interview several attorneys before making your decision. Don’t just use the recommendation of a friend unless you also feel like it’s a good fit. You want to make sure that your attorney has plenty of experience with cases similar to yours. You also need to make sure that they are within your budget.

Hiring a divorce lawyer is not legally necessary but it is the smartest move if you are going through a divorce. While it might seem expensive, a lawyer can end up getting you more money than you anticipated with your settlement. In addition, the amount of money you could lose if you make any errors could be astronomical. And those errors could also affect you for the rest of your life. This is especially true if you and your spouse own property, or have children, retirement plans, or large assets. Interview several attorneys before deciding on who will represent you, and hire them early in the process. This way they can walk you through every step to make sure you are getting the best settlement. Hiring good legal counsel is priceless and is the only way to truly protect yourself in a settlement.

When Sole Custody is Necessary: Navigating Bitterness and Retaliation

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Navigated a divorce is difficult enough. When you add children to the situation, every decision gets more complicated. One thing you might be stressing over is whether or not to seek sole custody. In some situations, sole custody is necessary for various reasons. However, in some situations, the children and parents might be better off with a joint-custody situation. Just make sure you know what is driving the decision. Is it for retaliation against your ex? Or is it for the benefit of the children? If you find that you are acting out of bitterness, try to find another outlet for your anger. Every decision you make needs to be in the best interest of your kids.

Is Sole Custody Necessary: Navigating Bitterness and Retaliation

When is Sole Custody Necessary?

Sole custody is necessary for several situations. Sole legal custody means that only one parent is responsible for making decisions regarding the children. If your partner is unfit to do this, you might need to seek sole custody. For example, this could include mental health problems, or substance abuse issues. If there has been abandonment, then you’ll want to seek custody. And of course, if there are any concerns about abuse for you or your children. Another consideration is if your ex is currently in prison or jail.

And finally, if your ex is being relocated to another state or country, it might be that sole custody is necessary. Custody involves making important decisions for your kids. If it will be difficult for somebody to get in touch with your ex, then you might want to make sure it’s just you making the decisions. If they are relocating but will be easy to get in touch with and plan to visit often, then sole custody might not be required.

What is Your Motivation?

If you are considering whether or not sole custody is necessary, ask yourself a few questions. What is the reason why I feel like this is needed? Am I doing this just to get back at my ex? Is this overall, the best thing for my children? Divorce can leave you very bitter. Divorces bring out emotions between spouses that they never realized they would feel. Hurtful things are said, and insults are thrown. If you find that you want to seek sole custody mostly because it will hurt your partner, then you need to re-evaluate. If your ex-spouse is not an unfit parent, then really take a look at your motivations. Depriving children of the chance to have one of their parents involved in their life might not be best for them.

Finding an Outlet

If you debate whether sole custody is necessary and find that perhaps you are acting out of bitterness, try to find other ways to address your feelings. You could try an outlet for your frustration like journaling or a new hobby. Or you could also really sit down with your ex and discuss your feelings. You might even enlist the help of a therapist. If your ex is an able and willing caregiver for your children, then try not to let your bitterness decide your custody

When you are debating whether or not sole custody is necessary, try to figure out your motivation. If you’re concerned at all for the wellbeing of your kids while in your ex’s care, then consider sole custody. And if they are unfit for any reason, it might be necessary. If you are only seeking it to hurt your ex-partner, it might not be the healthiest thing for your kids. Try to find other ways to vent your frustrations. Always try to remember that your children don’t know all the details of your divorce. Your partner may have done hurtful things to you, But your children will probably benefit from having both parents in their lives as long as both of you are supportive and caring.

How-to Perform Good Divorce Prep

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When you decide to get a divorce, you won’t want to rush into things blindly. Rather, you’ll want to take the time to practice good divorce prep. Doing the prep work now will help to make things a lot easier for you in the future…

How-to Perform Good Divorce Prep: Useful Steps

Gather documents

Having the right types of documents is key for your divorce process. As such, you should start gathering these documents as part of your divorce prep. In particular, financial documents are going to be very helpful. Things like tax returns, W-2s, credit card and bank statements, and other similar documents will be quite handy to have.

Still, it’s one thing to just get your documents. You should also be sure that you organize them too. It might be a little tedious to do, and not always an easy task. However, taking the time to do so now is better than trying to do so when the divorce is underway.

Set up your finances

Divorce can be a bit of an expensive matter. Therefore, it’s good to prepare your finances as part of your divorce prep as well. After all, many people experience some financial stress both during and after their divorce. Preparing ahead of time can help reduce or get rid of this stress altogether.

It’s helpful to try and come up with a general budget to figure out where your finances are currently. With this, you can start to add in some potential divorce costs and see the effects. Should your budget begin to show signs of trouble, then you’ll know to start preparing. Limiting your spending and setting more money aside can help you make it out of your divorce in good financial shape.

Breaking the news

While divorce is a personal matter, you’ll eventually have to let those close to you know about your plans. This can be a pretty stressful task, especially if you’re worried about how others may react. Taking some time to plan how you’ll break the news now as part of your divorce prep can make this process a bit easier for you.

Try to come up with a general “script” you’ll use when you’re bringing up your divorce to others. For those close to you, you can go into a bit more detail as they’ll be a source of support to you. Should you have kids, then it’s especially good to plan how you’ll let them know what’s going on.

How-to Avoid Co-Parenting Mistakes

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

Switching from being married to being co-parents after a divorce isn’t always easy. Many former couples struggle with making the transition. While mistakes will happen, there are some co-parenting mistakes you’ll want to do your best to avoid. Doing so will help make your experience a lot smoother…

How-to Avoid Co-Parenting Mistakes: Common Issues

Picking fights

One of the most common co-parenting mistakes is when co-parents start to pick fights. It’s understandable that tensions may be a bit high following your divorce. As such, when you have to meet your co-parent, it can be tough to be totally relaxed. This is especially true if your co-parent is seemingly going out of their way to push your buttons.

A good way to avoid these fights is by waiting until you both cool off to meet in person. Instead, you can keep in touch via texts or phone calls. It’s also important for both of you to recognize when you’re in the wrong. Apologize after saying rude, even if your other co-parent doesn’t, to set a good example for your kids.

Forgetting the point

Another of the common co-parenting mistakes is when co-parents lose sight of their goals. Instead of trying to be good co-parents to their kids, they instead try and gain an “upper hand” over their ex. This ends up causing a power struggle to develop. Now, each co-parent will try and make requests or demands for their own benefit, rather than for the kids.

Remember that co-parenting isn’t a competition. Your kids will need both of you to be positive influences in their lives. If they see you fighting and acting like that, you’ll be leaving a bad impression. Therefore, you and your co-parent need to be willing to work together for the benefit of your kids.

Bad communication

Many co-parenting mistakes are caused by bad communication. It could be that you and your co-parent barely talk to one another. This can end up causing a lot of miscommunication, leaving you or them out of the loop. As a result, this tends to cause a lot of tension and subsequent arguments.

Good communication is crucial to any co-parenting arrangement. As such, you and your co-parent should remain in regular contact. Even just simple texts or calls will go a long way in clearing things up and making sure everyone is on the same page.

The Four Co-parenting C’s

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

There are plenty of mistakes that every co-parent will make. After all, we’re all new to this at some point in time, and there are always growing pains. The key to being a good co-parent, is keeping a few key goals in mind. From communication, to compromise, and beyond— the Four Co-parenting C’s are something every divorced parent must observe, and perfect, to become the co-parent we all want to be. No one said it’s easy, but it’s undeniably worth it.

The Four Co-parenting C’s to Perfect for Your Kids 

Cooperation

When it comes to mastering co-parenting, cooperation is at the center of it all. While you two divorced for a reason, you also have to find ways to put that aside for your children. You’ll have to manage school, appointments, birthday parties, family gatherings, sick days, pick-up and drop-off, and many manyother things as a unit. The key to successful cooperation, is to plan ahead of time— but also be flexible. The more committed you are to cooperating for your kids, the more likely you are to be successful at it.

Compromise

One of the most difficult things to do as a divorced parent, and co-parent, is to compromise with your former spouse. No matter how hard we try, it’s extremely easy to be spiteful when it comes to your ex, even when kids are involved. But, as a parent, you always have to imagine if the shoe was on the other foot. Maybe this weekend was supposed to be yours, but your former spouse’s mother has fallen extremely ill. Your ex asks if you will let the child spend the weekend with them so they can visit in the hospital. 

While your instinct might be to say no out of spite, consider if it was the other way around. Your mother is ill, she might pass, and you want your child to be able to say goodbye. By giving a little in the right moments, you and your former spouse might be able to form a new kind of respect, and become better co-parents in the long run.

Consistency

As we’ve mentioned, there will always be growing pains as you learn how to co-parent outside of a marriage, but consistency is key. By maintaining routines for your child from one household to the other, you give them a sense of security that might have been wavering after the separation. By setting uniform expectations, you make things easier for your children. Not to mention, you also avoid that infamous “but, Mom/Dad lets me…”

Communication

We always save this one for last because it’s the most important, and the most difficult to master. Chances are, your inability to communicate with one another played at least a small part in your divorce. So, how are we supposed to get better at it now? Quite simply put, because you have to. In communicating effectively, you set a strong example for your children and avoid conflict. Conduct yourselves in a business-like fashion because, after all, you’re colleagues in the business of raising your children. So, be courteous to the co-parent as if they are a co-worker.
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As you consider the Four Co-parenting C’s, you might begin to discover what you’ve been excelling at. Furthermore, you might also discover what you need to work on. Every parent, whether divorced or together, can inevitably improve their tactics in one way or another— and there’s no shame in saying it. However, there is admirability in admitting your faults and improving upon them.

Pet Ownership During Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Pet ownership during divorce can be a heated and complicated subject. Our pets become like important members of the family. So if you are considering a divorce you might be wondering: what happens to the dog? Pets are considered property, so a judge will divvy them up as an asset, just like any other asset in your marriage. If you want to protect your ownership of an animal that you bring into the marriage, you might want to investigate a pet prenuptial agreement. Many couples find creative ways to share custody of pets, but it’s important to consider what is best for your animal. If you are agonizing over the thought of your pet going through divorce, you are not alone. But the important thing is to provide plenty of love during this transition period.

Pet Ownership During Divorce: Who Gets the Dog?

Pets as Property

While we might think of our pets as members of our family, pet ownership during divorce is a little more straight-forward. Pets are property. When considering all of your assets, any animals will be thrown into the mix just like other property. If you and your ex are struggling to decide who gets the dog, a judge might have to make the decision for you. They’ll probably take into account if one of you brought the pet into the marriage, as well as other factors.

Pet Prenup

If you don’t want to struggle with anxiety over pet ownership during divorce, you might consider a pet prenup. A prenuptial agreement is a legal contract between two people that are intending to marry that outlines what will happen to assets in the event of a divorce. If you are bringing a pet into your marriage, you can outline in a prenup that the pet is yours in the event of a breakup.

Custody Arrangements

Pet ownership during divorce can get a little complicated, but ultimately, one spouse will have ownership in the end. However, this doesn’t mean that you and your ex cannot arrange your own pet custody agreement. Many couples choose to share custody of animals and allow the pet to go back and forth between their houses.

What’s Best for the Animal?

While many couples choose to share custody of their pets, it’s important to make sure that this is an arrangement that works for your animal. Some pets do fine going back and forth every week or every month between owners. For others, it can be stressful. You and your ex should keep your schedules as consistent as possible as far as eating and sleeping times. However, it’s important to make the decision that is best for your pet’s overall happiness. Pet custody during divorce is no small matter. Couples get incredibly heated and passionate about choosing who gets to keep the animal during a break-up. In fact, some couples are hesitant to even consider divorce because of the stress of figuring out what to do with their pet. Animals are considered property in a divorce, so a judge will make a ruling about who ultimately keeps them. However, many couples choose to work out a shared custody arrangement so that each can spend time with the dog or cat. If you are anxious, you might consider a pet prenup if you are bringing an animal into the marriage. Hopefully, you and your ex can find the solution that works best for you, and for you pet.

Divorce Court: Putting Your Best Foot Forward

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
Divorce court can be a long and arduous process. Even just the thought of going through the divorce process might have you feeling anxious and stressed out. To make the experience as positive as possible, it’s helpful to put your best foot forward and make the best first impressions that you can. Hire an attorney to represent your interests and protect yourself financially as soon as you can. Let go of the idea of “winning” and instead focus on prioritizing the things you care most about. Avoid trash-talking your ex, especially on social media. And finally, when you are actually in court, practice basic etiquette to start things out on a positive note. Hopefully, by setting yourself up for success you’ll be able to get the settlement you want and deserve.

Divorce Court: Putting Your Best Foot Forward to Get the Best Outcome

Hire an Attorney

The first step in improving your divorce court experience is to hire an attorney to represent your interests. They can walk you through the divorce process, help you gather materials, and help you present a case. Hire somebody as quickly as you can so that they can help you protect yourself financially and make the strongest case possible.

Let Go of “Winning”

It’s also helpful to let go of the idea of “winning” your divorce. In divorce court, there are no winners. Instead, focus on prioritizing the things that you care most about. Let go of petty squabbles and don’t let yourself get sucked into nit-picking over small details. Focus on your main goals and fight hard for them without getting distracted. Find ways to compromise whenever possible to make things less contentious.

Avoid Trash-Talking

Another thing that can help improve your divorce court experience is to avoid trash-talking your ex. Especially on social media. While it might feel good to vent to the world at large, it can get you into trouble. If word gets back to your ex, which it probably will, it can make them more contentious. It can also have harmful effects on any child custody battles because it might make a judge question whether or not you can co-parent peacefully in the future.

Court Etiquette

Finally, when facing divorce court, it’s important to know basic legal etiquette. Your attorney can walk you through the details, but you should plan to dress conservatively and professionally. Avoid loud clothing, accessories, or hairstyles. When in court, address the judge with the correct title, and always show respect to them and other members of the court. Don’t interrupt or cause distractions, and answer politely when asked questions. Divorce court is never fun for anybody. However, you can make your experience more positive by setting yourself up for success from the start. Hire an attorney as soon as you know that a divorce is inevitable so that you can begin protecting yourself legally and financially. Let go of the idea that anybody will come out on top and instead focus on the things you care about most. Avoid bashing your ex to avoid making things more contentious. And finally, dress the part and act politely when you are actually in court to make the best first impression. Hopefully, the divorce process will be as quick and stress-free as possible.

Marriage Counseling Techniques

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves
There are many marriage counseling techniques that you can bring into your everyday life to strengthen your relationship. While going to therapy is the most helpful thing, if that’s not doable now, you can try at-home practices with these tried-and-true methods for increasing intimacy. Improve your communication with reflective listening, or explore each other’s love languages. Learning conflict resolution is very important for any relationship, especially a marriage. And sometimes, exploring childhood trauma through methods like Imago therapy can help you better understand your partner. Hopefully, you can use some of these techniques to strengthen your marriage and explore deeper parts of your relationship.

Marriage Counseling Techniques to Strengthen Your Relationship

Reflective Listening

While everybody knows that it’s important to be a good listener, one of the marriage counseling techniques that is quite helpful is learning to reflectively listen. This means that as your partner is talking, you can reflect on them your understanding. Actively listen to what they’re saying, and engage back with questions or discussion. You can also practice “I” language, which means stating things from your point of view rather than as observations. For example, you might say “I feel hurt when I say that” instead of “You shouldn’t say that.”

Love Languages

Exploring your love languages is another of the marriage counseling techniques that you can easily incorporate into your relationship. The idea is that everybody has a specific way of expressing and receiving affection. It might be through words of affirmation, gifts, spending quality time, acts of service, or being physically tough. Understanding your partner’s love language can help you both better communicate your affection for one another.

Conflict Resolution

One of the main reasons why people seek out therapists is to find marriage counseling techniques for conflict resolution. Often, it’s helpful to put yourself in your partner’s shoes to try to empathize with why they are feeling the way they are. Taking some time to reflect on the bigger picture of your lives together to decide if a fight is worth dwelling on, or finding compromises that work for both are also helpful ways to resolve conflict.

Imago Therapy

Finally, one of the marriage counseling techniques that can be explored a little bit at home is the Imago therapy method. This method is based on the idea that childhood experiences can influence our decisions as adults. Together, you and your partner can explore your childhoods to deepen your understanding of one another and hopefully, bring you closer. Marriage counseling is one of the best resources for a couple to strengthen their relationship. Whether you’re going through a rough patch or are feeling confident in your marriage, a therapist can still help you better communicate with one another. However, you can also practice some marriage counseling techniques together at home like practicing reflective listening. Or explore your love languages together – you can even take a quiz online to find out what your languages are. Working on conflict resolution and exploring your childhoods can also bring you closer as a couple. Whether it’s smooth sailing or rough waters in your marriage, counseling can be hugely beneficial in giving you the tools to make your relationship last.