An amicable divorce might seem like a fantasy, but it is quite possible. However, it does require some effort between you and your ex. It’s easy to get lost in the bitterness when you are going through a breakup and especially when you are negotiating assets. Things can quickly spiral out of control and into a place where you and your ex are very antagonistic. However, if you both commit fully to remaining amicable, it can go a long way. Never trash talk your ex, especially on social media. Try your best to not force your mutual friends to feel like they need to pick sides in your divorce. And finally, try to focus on putting your children. You and your ex will be co-parents forever, so you need to have an amicable relationship. Hopefully, you and your ex can work together to make your divorce a happy one.
Amicable Divorce: Is it Really Possible to Be Friendly with Your Ex?
Both Commit
One way to make an amicable divorce more possible is if you and your ex both commit fully to it. You will each need to practice self-control to accomplish this. It’s easy to lash out when you are negotiating your settlement because things seem very personal. Try to always take some time to calm down before responding if you are feeling heated. A therapist can also be a great help with trying to keep things friendly during a divorce.
No Trash Talking
Another major help when trying to maintain an amicable divorce is to avoid trash talking. Trash talking can only hurt your ex and doesn’t serve any purpose. While it can feel good at the moment to vent your frustration, if you aren’t careful, it can come back to bite you. Always avoid trash-talking on social media. It can also hurt your custody battle because it shows a judge that you aren’t prioritizing your co-parenting relationship.
Don’t Make Friends Pick Sides
An amicable divorce is more possible if your mutual friends don’t feel like they need to pick sides. This typically goes hand in hand with trash talking. Often, when you vent to friends they feel the need to agree and join in the bashing of your ex. However, this can create complicated feelings for them if they are still friends. It’s better to tell mutual friends that you are working on an amicable divorce and don’t want to lose any of them.
Put Children First
Finally, one last thing to keep in mind when working towards an amicable divorce is your co-parenting relationship. If you and your ex have children together, then you’ll be in each other’s lives forever. It’s important to remain friendly for the sake of your children. Fighting or trash-talking in front of your children can confuse them and hurt them. Being friendly with your ex will allow you to both be involved healthily in your children’s lives.
An amicable divorce is possible if you and your ex both are committed to it. It’s easy to get lost in antagonistic feelings in the heat of divorce negotiations. You’ll both need to work hard to maintain friendliness throughout the process. A therapist can give you helpful tools for negotiating in a friendly and productive way. Avoid trash talking at all costs because it can only hurt you and your ex. Another important thing to remember is to try to avoid making your friends feel like they need to pick sides in your divorce. And finally, make sure that you put your children first and keep the goal of a healthy co-parenting relationship at the forefront of your mind. Hopefully, you and your ex can get through the stress of divorce and be able to come out on the other side with a friendship still intact.
