Spring Cleaning Post-Divorce

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

After separation or divorce, it’s easy to overwhelm yourself. Even an amicable divorce is not easy. With the seasons changing, now is a good time to really embrace your new life. Spring cleaning post-divorce can happen during any season! Time to clean out the closets.

Spring Cleaning Post-Divorce: Starting Anew 

Hated that piece? Get rid of it

​Sometimes, exes buy pieces for the home that aren’t the best looking or best fitting. If your ex left this piece behind during their move, get rid of it. Spring cleaning post-divorce allows you to focus on yourself and what you like. If that chair in the sitting room doesn’t fit the bill, it’s gone!

​If donating the item is something of interest, many non-profits will gladly schedule a pick up. But maybe selling it is a better option! Facebook Marketplace, Offer Up, and the NextDoor app all offer a solution for selling those items.

Make It Yours

Making your new solo space yours is most important when you’re spring cleaning post-divorce. Simply changing out the throw pillows to a color that you like more or removing personal touches of your ex will freshen up your space and make it a place for just you. In the case that you need to get your own place, don’t feel disheartened! It’s a positive time for starting over and truly making a space yours.

Get Organized!

Many people have heard of the Netflix show, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo. Spring cleaning post-divorce means organizing for this next step in life without dragging baggage in from your married life. Utilizing the KonMari method will help you only keep things in your life that bring you joy. While this may seem daunting, take your time. A good tip to remember is to tackle one room at a time!

Sweep, Mop, Clean

Spring cleaning post-divorce can include cleaning the windows and mopping the floors. The physical act of cleaning is therapeutic and it’s a perfect metaphor for divorce. After you’re done cleaning, you’ll feel in control of your life and your space.

Remember: property settlement will determine if your ex gets to leave that awful chair behind. Don’t start decluttering their personal items out before the court decides that the remaining property is yours. Make sure you talk to your ex about what they want and don’t want. Spring cleaning post-divorce is a therapeutic time but don’t let it get you in trouble in court!

Unexpected Divorce: My Spouse is Gay

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

It happens a lot. During a marriage, sometimes a spouse will reveal that they are interested in other people. Sometimes, however, these other people are of the same gender as they are. For straight couples, this is probably a huge shock. But what does your spouse coming out mean for you and your family? Let’s discuss some common questions and reasons for an unexpected divorce. 

Unexpected Divorce: My Spouse is Gay

Do we stay married?

The choice is up to you. Some may enter this chapter in their relationship with a new understanding of each other. Others may chose an unexpected divorce. Whatever you decide is right for you is the right choice. Coming out doesn’t always lead to an immediate separation. A marriage means a lot of intertwined parts, and a divorce might not be the easiest or best option.

If we stay married, then what?

If you both decide to avoid that unexpected divorce and stay married instead, your spouse may ask for an open relationship. An open relationship requires more communication and honesty. Each open relationship is different; no two look the same. Some of them are completely open. Others are open to particular people. Coming out takes a lot of trust, but so do open relationships. Make sure you and your partner feel comfortable with your relationships at all points.

Not sure about what you want?

Much like the coming out decision that your spouse made, your next move might take time. Choosing an unexpected divorce, especially very quickly, you might not be making the right choice for you. Your emotions are on high-alert. Take time to fully feel through these emotions before making any permanent decisions.

Nothing You Did

No matter what, you cannot change a person’s sexual orientation. If your spouse coming out is a surprise for you, do not feel discouraged. You are valid and perfect as you are. There might be a difficult acceptance period. It might be a good idea for you to seek help or therapy.

Mixed orientation couples are more common than the average person might realize. Coming out happens at all stages of life. For some, that might be after they’ve entered a heterosexual marriage. Also remember that coming out does not mean the couples are out of love. ​​​It also doesn’t mean that you will absolutely be getting that unexpected divorce we discussed. Every marriage is different and you should do what feels right to you. 

Financial Infidelity: Potential Signs

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When people think of a spouse cheating, most of the time they think of physical encounters. However, financial infidelity is something which not only occurs, but is also on the rise. Knowing some common signs of this infidelity can help you see if it’s occurring in your marriage…

Financial Infidelity: Unconventional Cheating

Missing cash

Have you noticed money missing from a joint account you and your spouse share? Does your bank statement show a lot of withdrawals you don’t know about? If so, you might want to be careful. Missing money can be a potential sign of financial infidelity.

Now, sometimes a spouse will take out money for something and forget about it. That’s totally normal. However, constant withdrawals for varying amounts can be reason for concern. When you notice this, you’ll want to ask your spouse about what’s going on. In the meantime, try to keep your money in a separate account to keep it secure.

Many new purchases

If your spouse is making a lot of new, constant purchases all the time, that can also be a sign of financial infidelity. Of course, people like to treat themselves every now and again. It becomes an issue when it seems like your spouse is making a purchase every other day. Usually, these purchases can be very cheap, very expensive, or somewhere in-between.

Your spouse might even try to hide these purchases from you. They may always try and get the mail or packages, or use a separate bank account to prevent the purchases from showing up on your end. Sometimes, they might even use something like a P.O. box so they never arrive at the house!

They don’t like financial talk

Talking about finances is a part of any good marriage. Plus, if you feel like you’ve noticed signs of financial infidelity, you’ll want to bring them up to your spouse. Yet, what if your spouse gets upset when you try to have these conversations? This can actually be another sign that financial infidelity is going on.

If you talk finances to your spouse, they might be worried you’re going to bring up their actions. This can make them want to avoid talking about it all together. Still, it’s important to do so if you want to fix this problem together. Not doing so will strain things even more.