What to Look for In a Divorce Therapist

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

When looking for a divorce therapist to help you cope with the stress of your marriage ending, there are a lot of things to consider. You’ll want to find somebody that is successful, professional, and whom you feel comfortable with. You’ll want to decide some things upfront, for example, who you think would be a good fit for you. In addition, you might ask for references from friends. But keep your options open until you find a good fit. Ask about their credentials and make sure that they are licensed professionals. And finally, make sure that the person is a good fit for you and that you feel comfortable with them. Hopefully, you’ll be able to find a therapist who is a great match for you and who can help you deal with your divorce.

What to Look for In a Divorce Therapist: Find a Good Match for You

Make Some Decisions Upfront

Before you begin looking for a divorce therapist, you might want to make a few decisions upfront. For example, you might decide that you’d prefer somebody of your own gender or close to the same age. If you’d like somebody that will guide you according to specific religious preferences you might want to decide that upfront as well. If these things are important to you, then you can search for therapists in your area and weed through some options up front.

Ask for References But Keep Your Options Open

It’s always a good idea to ask for references when searching for anything, including therapists. However, don’t feel obligated to use a specific divorce therapist just because a friend of yours highly recommends them. Just because they are a good fit for somebody else might not make them a good fit for you. Keep your options open when speaking with different therapists and don’t forget that you can always change to a new one if things aren’t working out.

Ask About Credentials

You should also ask to know the credentials of any divorce therapist that you speak with. Ask them what their training and experience are like. You should make sure that they are licensed, mental health professionals. This is the difference between a licensed therapist and a life coach. In addition, ask them how they’ve treated patients who have similar goals to your own.

Find a Good Fit

Finally, when interviewing or meeting with different counselors, make sure that you feel comfortable with them. You need to be able to trust your divorce therapist as well as listen to them. You and they will form a close relationship known as a “therapeutic alliance.” The success of your therapy depends wholeheartedly on the strength of your alliance with your counselor. The more you can trust them and be open with them, the more you’ll get out of therapy.

Finding a divorce therapist can be a little overwhelming when you first go looking. However, it’s important to take your time and find somebody that is a good match for you. Decide upfront if you’d like to look for a therapist of a specific gender, religious background, technique, or age. Ask for references but always keep your options open until you find a good fit. Ask about their credentials and ask about their success with other patients like you. And finally, make sure that you wait until you find somebody that is a good fit and that you will actually listen to. You’ll need to establish a strong bond with them to get the most out of therapy. Hopefully, you can find a divorce therapist who will be a great match for you and who can help you work through the feelings that you might have about your breakup.

Divorce Predictors

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

There aren’t any 100% divorce predictors out there. However, some red flags tend to stand out more than others. These signals tend to often pop up when a divorce is on the horizon. It’s important to know what these signs are, so you can potentially change course…

Divorce Predictors: Spot The Red Flags

Communication breakdown

Communication breakdowns can be one of those divorce predictors that sneaks up on couples. In fact, communication issues can be at the root of nearly all relationship troubles. When a couple has trouble talking to each other, eventually they might find themselves drifting apart past the point of fixing it.

Still, it can be hard to initially notice when this kind of breakdown happens. That’s why it’s important to be proactive. If you notice that you have trouble talking to your spouse, or you feel like they’re ignoring you, then it’s time to take some action. Try to have a serious sit down with your spouse to see where the problems came from, and how you can try to fix them together.

Constant arguing

Constant arguing is another common example of divorce predictors. This also ties in a bit to communication breakdowns. When a couple can’t communicate effectively, it can lead to them getting frustrated and eventually angry at each other. This can turn into constant arguments, and eventually a divorce.

Now, it’s very easy to tell when you and your spouse are constantly arguing. However, it’s not so easy to navigate this situation and find a solution. Firstly, you’ll have to sit down with them and figure out what’s been causing the issues between you both. If it’s something one or both of you have been doing, then be willing to take that critical look at yourself to try and fix it in the future.

Infidelity

Whereas the other divorce predictors may be harder to spot, infidelity is a pretty clear-cut one. For many, infidelity is an immediate point of no return for their marriage. However, there are those who will try to fix things, but with a lot of hard work and trust rebuilding put into it. In this situation, it ultimately comes down to how you feel about trying to fix things.

Marriage Counseling

Posted on by Robert J. Reeves

If you are having problems in your marriage, it’s a great step to try marriage counseling. When it’s the right fit for the both of you, marriage counseling can truly be the difference between make or break. However, marriage counseling doesn’t work for everyone. But, just with anything, it can take time to really make a change. If marriage counseling still isn’t helping after a while, you may be wondering when to hang up the hat…

Marriage Counseling: When to Call it Quits

Checking all the Boxes

For starters, marriage should be what’s right for you and your spouse. For example, do the both of you want counseling? Are the both of you aware of what problems need addressing? Additionally, do the both of you believe your counselor is the best fit for you? Checking all of these boxes is part of what makes marriage counseling successful. If it hasn’t been working, make sure to see that you’ve checked all the boxes.

Time

Just like for most things, time is one of the most important parts of marriage counseling. With some couples, their marriage is already improving after a handful of sessions. However, with other couples, they may go to counseling for years and still cannot resolve their problems. Ultimately, basing how much time has passed with progress is only something that can be done by the couple. The two of you are the only ones who can honestly say whether or not something is working in the time you’ve had.

Are Your Hearts in It?

No matter what, marriage counseling shouldn’t happen unless both spouses are on board. That means, both spouses have to want the counseling and be serious about going to sessions and doing their homework. If not, then counseling most likely won’t work.

On the flip side, the both of you could be passionate about going but lack of success has hindered you. In that case, there is a chance you can increase your morale. Focus, instead on the lack of success, but that you have someone that wants to work things out with you. However, if the two of you genuinely don’t think counseling is working, then it may be time to stop.

Marriage counseling is helpful but tricky. If all the variables aren’t right, things can get messy. However, as long both spouses are using their time properly and still want counseling, everything could work. Sadly, that doesn’t always mean it will work. Communicate with your partner throughout this process. Therefore, it’ll make this whole process clearer.