If you’ve been cheated on, you might be wondering if your marriage can survive infidelity. The bigger question to ask though is if you want that or not. Some couples decide mutually that they want to make the marriage work, while others decide on divorce. Take some time to figure out what your goal is. Talk it over with your spouse and see if they are on the same page. Seek the advice of a marriage counselor to help you resolve issues and move past the trauma. And finally, if you both want to get past it, put in the work. Marriage is hard work, so it takes some effort to make it successful. Only you and your partner can decide if you can move past infidelity.
Can My Marriage Survive Infidelity? How to Move Forward
Decide What You Want
After infidelity, you need to take some time to decide what you want out of your marriage. Some couples decide that they cannot get over these issues, and wind up getting a divorce. If you are determined to make it work though, think through what your goals are for the marriage. For example, think about whether you will be able to move past the cheating. Will you be able to trust again?
Talk It Over
Once you decide what you’d like to do after infidelity, talk things over with your spouse. Try to sit down for a calm conversation to get their views. It’s important to get to the bottom of the reasons for the cheating in the first place. If they do want to work it out and move forward, how will they deal with future hardships? If they do not want to move forward with the marriage, try to respect their decision. Keep in mind that being in a marriage where you put in all the effort and get none in return isn’t fair to you.
Seek Support
No matter which way you and your spouse decide to go after infidelity, a marriage counselor can help. For example, they can give you great ideas on how to improve communication. In addition, they can help you work together to achieve goals or to even decide what those goals should be. It’s best to see a counselor both as a couple, but also individually.
Put In the Work
Finally, if you are determined to move forward and work things out after infidelity, you need to put in the work. You and your partner won’t be able to magically forget about what happened. Instead, you’ll need to check in with one another constantly and keep up with counseling for a while. You and your partner will hopefully be able to get closer after this and strengthen your marriage even more.
Only you and your spouse can tell if you’ll be able to survive infidelity. A lot might depend on the reason for it in the first place. It also might depend on your family circumstances, whether you have children and your finances. All of these factors should play a role, but ultimately you need to decide if you feel like you can move on. Then you need to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. If you both want to work things out, seek the advice of a marriage counselor. They will likely give you suggestions on how to strengthen your communication, which you’ll need to put into practice every day. You and your partner both need to re-commit to the marriage together. Hopefully, if you both decide you want to move forward, you can become even stronger in the long run.
