Admitting Infidelity: How to Start the Conversation

Admitting infidelity might be one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have. And unfortunately, it could end your relationship. However, continuing in a marriage where you are lying to your spouse is equally as hard. If you are wanting to open up about cheating on your partner, make sure to pick the right time and place. Give the entire truth, not just portions of it. You don’t want to have to go back later and tell more. Apologize to your spouse and be sincere and show that you understand how much you’ve hurt them. Finally, give them space after you talk with them. They may react in a lot of ways, but try to remain calm and give them time to experience their emotions. Hopefully, you can move past the infidelity and improve your marriage.

Admitting Infidelity: How to Start the Conversation with Your Spouse

Pick the Right Setting

Admitting infidelity is a delicate conversation to have. You want to make sure that you pick the best time and place for it. Don’t try to talk about this in a public space, but rather, pick someplace private where you won’t be overheard. In addition, pick a time when you have plenty of time available and won’t need to rush. Try to make sure that there won’t be distractions or interruptions.

Give the Whole Truth

Admitting infidelity is bad enough the first time, you don’t want to have to come back and have another conversation about it later. If you cheated more than once, come clean about it. Don’t let your partner think it was a one-time thing and then have them find out more details later. This will only make them trust you even less. If they ask questions, be truthful with your answers. Only go into as much detail as they ask for.

Apologize

When admitting infidelity, you probably feel terrible about what happened. Be honest about that too, and show your partner how sorry you are. Try to proactively think of ways to help the situation later if they are willing to continue the relationship. You might reach out to a marriage counselor or come up with some ideas on how to re-strengthen your marriage.

Give Them Space

Finally, give your partner plenty of space after admitting infidelity. They might be feeling a lot of emotions all at once and not know exactly how to react. For example, they might feel embarrassed, hurt, angry, or sad. They might react explosively at the moment. Try to remain calm and not get defensive. Give them plenty of space to feel their emotions. They’ll likely need some time to think things through. Give them that space to figure out if they want to move forward with the relationship and how. Admitting infidelity is an awkward and painful conversation for both partners. Try to make the conversation as pain-free as possible by setting yourself up on the right foot. Pick a time and place where you will have plenty of private and uninterrupted time together. Be honest with your partner and give them the whole truth. Don’t leave out details just because they are hard to admit. Your partner will eventually find them out and you will look even more dishonest in the long run. Apologize and show your spouse how much you realize you’ve hurt them. Try to brainstorm ways to improve your marriage if they are willing to move forward. And finally, give them plenty of space to work through their emotions and try to remain calm. Some couples can get through infidelity while others are not. However, you will feel much better getting the truth out.